Post: #1

This is my first post here. I'm wondering if anyone can try and help me to salvage this Persian chick with whom I have gone back-and-forth for about a month and a half now.

So, here's the situation: I met her at a professional school Formal (she worked at the venue) and had some solid 1-on-1 with her for about 10-15 minutes. We laughed a decent amount and shared a few things in-common. She has lived here (DC) for a few years. Anyways, I sent a "Thank You For Your Help" e-mail after the Formal and went to Europe for a month.

When I returned, I sent her another e-mail to invite her to go see this Persian Art exhibit with me. She wrote me her number. We went, had coffee, and had frozen yogurt all during the day. In my opinion, we hit it off. We laughed, exchanged some pretty private stories, and things looked good. Before we went out she let me know about tickets that she had with her friends to go to some dance performance for her work (she works for an art/performance gallery).

I told her to call me after that if she planned to be in DC so that my friends could meet up with hers (and so that I could start to work on her a little more aggressively). She ended up going to Clarendon, didn't text, but let me know 2 days later (when I texted her) that she wasn't in DC so she didn't let me know. Interesting.

HERE IS WHERE I FUMBLED (again possibly?)

After 3-4 texts that day (2 days after our date), I asked her over for dinner and said that I was cooking. I used an exclamation point and I want to shoot myself in the God damned face. Such a bad idea. She let me know that her schedule looked awful (she works two jobs) and that she couldn't swing that. I then checked to see if she was available for my birthday party and got no response.

The situation sounds dead... however, just today, I received an e-mail from her today (almost 2 weeks after the date):

1) For pictures from the Formal event

and

2) To wish me a Happy Birthday

I figured that if this was truly dead, and she wanted to avoid all contact with me, she could've easily had someone else from the venue e-mail me. I need help with the next move here. I don't want to just flat-out say fuck it because I think that there is a small opening here. Also, I believe that the texting game has spoiled the lines of communication. Would a phone call go a long way here?

I'm interested to hear what the pros have to say. Thank you all very much!

Post: #2

yeah, call her. get her juices running for a few minutes over the phone.

don't be afraid to ask "when are you available to hang out?" rather than "let's hang out tues night." If she's interested she'll let u know when she has some time off, otherwise if she gives some lame response like "I'm so busy all the time, balh blah blah, no time" you know to write her off.

Post: #3

(06-21-2012 01:37 PM)HiFlo Wrote:  yeah, call her. get her juices running for a few minutes over the phone.

don't be afraid to ask "when are you available to hang out?" rather than "let's hang out tues night." If she's interested she'll let u know when she has some time off, otherwise if she gives some lame response like "I'm so busy all the time, balh blah blah, no time" you know to write her off.

It's so simple, but so perfect. I'm going to go with this approach. If I receive no answer do you suggest leaving a voice-mail, sending a text, or responding via e-mail?

Technology has broken my routine.

Post: #4

voicemail if she has it set up. a lot of them dont even bother setting their voicemail up these days. simple message, "hey it's bob, calling to say hi. thanks for the happy birthday. talk later."

Post: #5

(06-21-2012 01:59 PM)HiFlo Wrote:  voicemail if she has it set up. a lot of them dont even bother setting their voicemail up these days. simple message, "hey it's bob, calling to say hi. thanks for the happy birthday. talk later."

Sounds like a plan.

Like I said, she seemed interested after the first date and we set up the date like two days before the actual date. So, I like the advice of using the phone. Texting has been pretty brutal as of late.

Post: #6

Allo azziam que mecha mano bebenee

Im a persian myself haha, pull that line on her which means "Hello my dear when is the next time you'd like to see me."

Post: #7

(06-21-2012 03:24 PM)Goneped Wrote:  Allo azziam que mecha mano bebenee

Im a persian myself haha, pull that line on her which means "Hello my dear when is the next time you'd like to see me."

While I appreciate the help, I must say that I don't want her to know that I'm putting in too much effort for no good reason. I feel like the customized date (at the Persian exhibit) is enough. If I learn how to speak that line, she'll automatically know that I'm trying WAY too hard for no reason.

She's hot. She gets tons of attention and I'm sure about that.

Post: #8

Yeah the foreign language thing never works, it comes off as trying too hard.

Her email to you could have been friend zone material, which is fine. Whatever it takes for you two to see each other in person. Just make sure you don't put out the friend zone vibe. If you came off too strong before, then pull way back when you see each other in person. Just be cool. Sounds like things were on the right track for a while, and you might have momentarily come off too strong, but I think this is definitely salvageable.

Just be cool.

Post: #9

(06-21-2012 03:55 PM)thedude3737 Wrote:  Yeah the foreign language thing never works, it comes off as trying too hard.

Her email to you could have been friend zone material, which is fine. Whatever it takes for you two to see each other in person. Just make sure you don't put out the friend zone vibe. If you came off too strong before, then pull way back when you see each other in person. Just be cool. Sounds like things were on the right track for a while, and you might have momentarily come off too strong, but I think this is definitely salvageable.

Just be cool.

This sounds more up the alley.

When you mean "sound cool" do you mean act somewhat pretend embarrassed for coming off too strong? For example, smiling and kinda laughing at myself while still being playful in front of her while at the same time building the attraction by realizing I was a little too aggressive?

Post: #10

(06-21-2012 03:55 PM)thedude3737 Wrote:  Yeah the foreign language thing never works, it comes off as trying too hard.

Her email to you could have been friend zone material, which is fine. Whatever it takes for you two to see each other in person. Just make sure you don't put out the friend zone vibe. If you came off too strong before, then pull way back when you see each other in person. Just be cool. Sounds like things were on the right track for a while, and you might have momentarily come off too strong, but I think this is definitely salvageable.

Just be cool.

Additionally, I don't think that I came on too strong on our first date (since I didn't text her to hang out at night) but I do think that the text asking her to dinner (with the damned exclamation point) was aggressive. Asking her to join the birthday festivities didn't seem like too much but, coupled with the dinner thing, I can understand how it might be perceived.

Post: #11

Be cool like Dean Martin. Be masculine and in control. A little aloof. Don't pay too much attention to her. Definitely don't smile too much or be overly self deprecating.

Don't act embarrassed. Don't acknowledge the past. Before you go on a date with her, make an affirmation to yourself. Something along the lines of, "The only thing that matters is what I do tonight. I'm going to be calm, interesting, confident, mysterious, playful, and charming." Thing is, is you can't *try* to do these things, you just have to be them. Watch the words flash by your vision like a marquee. Roosh has a good article on being cool.