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Take a bath like a man
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Goldmund Offline
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Post: #1
Take a bath like a man
This winter has been a harsh one and in order to escape the cold, there is nothing better than sinking into a well-prepared hot bath. Warms you right to the bone and a great place to do some deep thinking. Here is how its done.

Make sure the tub is clean
A lot of dudes, and lots of girls, just let mold, slime and general filth build up on the shower walls. This is nasty, get rid of it. Especially before you get into the bath. Its pretty disgusting sitting in a bath and seeing black slime all around you and knowing some of that nastiness is in your water. So clean everything, you want your tub to be white. Rinse thoroughly before filling it with water.

Use Epsom salts
These are very cheap, I get mine by the half gallon at the grocery, they ease sore muscles, are extremely beneficial to body health, and you can use the salt as a skin scrub while in the bath. I dump at least two cups in every time. You can also get fancy and buy some dead sea salts or Himalayan mountain minerals, but Epsom is just fine. Make sure whatever you get has no chemical additives.

Keep the water hot
Don’t be a pussy. If you do it right, sweat should be coming down your face at the end of the bath. Wide open pores will drain your body of toxins, evacuate last nights whiskey, and allow minerals from your bath salts to enter your body. Plus is makes your nut sac do crazy things.

Don’t use soap
Or bubble bath, or shampoo, or cream. The chemicals in all of those products are not good for your skin and will fuck up your bath. If you want the water to smell nice, use some herbs or dried lavender (but put them in cheesecloth or some other permeable bag, you don’t want to clog your drain like I did once).

Turn off the lights
You don’t want any unnatural light in the room. Make sure everything is unplugged, electric flow hinders brainwaves. I only play some classical music if my roommate is home or there is some other noise distraction. Silence is best. Light some candles (unscented) the flames are great for stimulating thoughts.

Bring a glass of water
This is great for cooling down a bit because your bath is going to be very hot. You can also use the glass to dump water all over your head. Feels great.

Other
Don’t be afraid to pee. Your bladder will want to evacuate immediately after you first relax. Urine is sterile when it first comes out.

The majority of my game education came from reading books in the bath. It’s a great place to read up on self-improvement.

Leave your phone in another room. This is time to reflect.

If you have had sex recently, wash your balls before getting in. Pussy juice contains tons of bacteria, yeast, acids and other foreign elements that you don’t want to be marinating in. Get it out of your pubes as well.

That’s about it. If I ever settle, one of the top requirements for my living quarters will be a giant clawfoot bathtub with enough room for me and two 20-something girls.
03-09-2014 03:09 PM
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Switch Offline
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RE: Take a bath like a man
If you have a Kindle like I do and still want to read in the bath, put it in a Ziplock bag so you don't have to worry about it falling in and breaking. Ziplocks are clear so there's no problem trying to read through them. I sometimes do the same thing with my phone reading this forum Banana

Eat Big Lift Big
03-09-2014 03:17 PM
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thedude3737 Offline
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Post: #3
RE: Take a bath like a man
Yeah right, THIS is how to take a bath like a man:

[Image: wpid-20121231_232637.jpg?w=627]

"...so I gave her an STD, and she STILL wanted to bang me."
03-09-2014 03:21 PM
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Rutting Elephant Offline
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Post: #4
RE: Take a bath like a man
Have hot girl soap you down, shouting instructions when necessary.
Crouch down in tiled bathing area.
Don't be a pussy; have her pour freezing cold water over you up to fifty times.
(This post was last modified: 03-09-2014 03:45 PM by Rutting Elephant.)
03-09-2014 03:45 PM
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hoops330 Offline
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Post: #5
RE: Take a bath like a man
Isn't this contradictory to the cold shower phenomenon that so many support?
Agreed though... If you're going to do it, do it right.
03-09-2014 04:59 PM
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speakeasy Offline
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Post: #6
RE: Take a bath like a man
It may sound girly to some but since the OP has stepped out front I'll admit it too. Taking a relaxing bath is one of my favorite simple pleasures. And yes, I do pretty much everything he says. Steaming hot water(clean bath tub is a must), no lights, candles, and for me usually jazz music on or sometimes no music. I first started doing this regularly a few years ago to help relieve my back pain from a herniated disc, but I enjoyed the relaxation aspect so much that I now do it regularly. It takes away stress and it can be a form of meditation. I highly vouch for this.
03-09-2014 05:04 PM
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MikeCF Offline
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Post: #7
RE: Take a bath like a man
Hot baths are relaxing and for women.

Cold showers are hard. Hot baths are easy. Real men take cold showers!

Really manly men take ice baths.

(Just kidding, three's no way to "take a bath like a man.")
03-09-2014 05:06 PM
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worldwidetraveler Offline
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Post: #8
RE: Take a bath like a man
Does hot tubbing with naked women and booze count as a bath?
03-09-2014 05:26 PM
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Dusty Offline
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Post: #9
RE: Take a bath like a man
Calgon take me away!

I was totin' my pack along the Dusty Winnemucca road...
03-09-2014 05:32 PM
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Katatonic Offline
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Post: #10
RE: Take a bath like a man
I thought this thread was going to be about Geisha bathing like the Sumo wrestlers did. A couple of hot girls bathe and massage you.

[Image: GinsengBathhouse1_wideweb__470x312,0.jpg]
03-09-2014 05:37 PM
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Laner Offline
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Post: #11
RE: Take a bath like a man
I became hooked on saunas while living in Sweden.

Back in Canada they are just not as abundant, so I find a decent replacement is a scorching hot bath (with salts) to sweat it out.

The steam sauna at my gym is good, but afterwords I sweat for an hour. Even after a heavy workout I sweat a lot afterwords. I hate going about business in damp humid clothing.

I have a hot tub on the 42nd floor of my building. Its good for after a day of skiing or when its snowing. But I hate chlorine and sitting in other peoples excrement.

I do sweatlodges with the Squamish Indians from time to time. That will make you hallucinate and pouring 5 degree water over your head during the breaks will make you howl like a wolf.

But once in a while a scorching hot bath hits the money.
03-09-2014 05:39 PM
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Goldmund Offline
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RE: Take a bath like a man
Saunas are amazing, I wish North America would realize just how fucking great they are and incorporate them.

The Indian sweatlodge sounds like it would be a great experience. I gotta find one.
03-09-2014 05:55 PM
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Chaos Offline
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Post: #13
RE: Take a bath like a man
This is pretty standard here where I live.
   
03-10-2014 04:16 AM
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rimjobs4life Offline
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Post: #14
RE: Take a bath like a man


03-10-2014 04:46 AM
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DJ-Matt Offline
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RE: Take a bath like a man
HAHA I had to laugh at the username "rimjobs4life"

But when I picture taking a bath, I'm assuming a nice big tub, not the tiny ass ones that me and many others have in their living spaces. Impossible to enjoy a bath in those damn things.

As the French might say "No, I fucking cannot" - Ari Gold
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03-10-2014 10:07 AM
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SHANbangs Offline
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Post: #16
RE: Take a bath like a man
considering the bro-science on cold showers, isn't a hot bath bad for your testosterone and your ball-sacs? I hear too hot and your sperm dies.
03-10-2014 06:13 PM
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Sombro Offline
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Post: #17
RE: Take a bath like a man
Used to have a huge claw-foot tub the ladies liked, but the water goes cold too damn fast in those things.
Chicks liked the outdoor sauna a lot better.
03-10-2014 07:02 PM
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Goldmund Offline
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Post: #18
RE: Take a bath like a man
(03-10-2014 06:13 PM)SHANbangs Wrote:  considering the bro-science on cold showers, isn't a hot bath bad for your testosterone and your ball-sacs? I hear too hot and your sperm dies.

Some serious shit definitely happens to your sac in a hot bath. You can watch it twist and turn in ways you never thought possible.

And I'm sure a lot of sperm get boiled in the process.

But stop worrying about your balls, the hot bath ritual is for your mind mostly. The stress relief, relaxation, and thinking that come from one are worth a few million spermiceti.
03-10-2014 07:38 PM
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germanico Offline
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Post: #19
RE: Take a bath like a man
(03-10-2014 04:16 AM)Chaos Wrote:  This is pretty standard here where I live.

How long dos one stays in th icy water? Seconds? Minutes?

The one dude in the picture already in the water looks like he plans on being there a while...
03-10-2014 09:56 PM
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Laner Offline
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RE: Take a bath like a man
The trick is to NOT MOVE once you are in the cold water. It also helps if the water is still. Just let your limbs go and float or sit and try for neutral buoyancy.

Its all about pushing beyond the comfort zone, then you can stay in icy water for a surprisingly long time. Eventually my breath will taste like mint and feel cold. Thats where the magic happens.
03-11-2014 01:00 AM
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tiggaling Offline
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RE: Take a bath like a man
I use essential oils in the bath. I find a blend I like, and even travel with them when I find a nice bath on my travels. Oil blends for "relaxation" and "rejuvination" I find to be very good. But there are all kinds of "masculine" and pungent oils out there if the sweet and pleasant smelling blends are not "man" enough for you!

Most soap is too harsh for the largest organ of your body. I travel with a liquid soap brand like Dr Bronners, a little of which goes a long way. But if I take a long bath, I often will not use soap.
03-11-2014 01:10 AM
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MidniteSpecial Offline
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Post: #22
RE: Take a bath like a man
Wait a second. You pee on yourself in the tub?
03-11-2014 03:14 AM
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General Mayhem Offline
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Post: #23
RE: Take a bath like a man
The last time I took a bath was when we threw a party and I convinced some girl to take a bath with me.

I appreciate the hell out of a sauna though. I've seen way too many subzero temperatures this year to be using cold water anytime soon.
03-11-2014 05:12 AM
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chibluu Offline
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Post: #24
RE: Take a bath like a man
No one else is gonna comment on how he pees on himself in the tub?
03-11-2014 08:38 AM
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Goldmund Offline
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Post: #25
RE: Take a bath like a man
Yeah, I pee in the tub.

Its not like I go in with a full bladder.

Just a little bit comes out when my body gets fully relaxed.

I also pee on girls in the shower. Their reactions are priceless when I do it the first time.
03-11-2014 09:00 AM
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