Guam was fucking amazing. Spent ten days in paradise and was not ready to come home, but unfortunately, I had to leave. Here is my travel/lay report…
Flew from Seattle to Tokyo for the second leg of my flight. Not a bad flight. Just under nine hours. Here’s the kicker though: I was VIOLENTLY ill. I had caught some sort of stomach bug just before we left, and I spent the entire flight with the chills/body aches and I probably puked no less than 10 times between my home state and Tokyo. It was MISERABLE. Probably the worst experience of my life. I was stuck in the middle seat with a crying toddler behind me too. From Tokyo we flew directly to Guam. Because of all the flying I’ve done in the last year, I have Gold Elite status with Northwest and they upgraded me to first class. Nothing is better than first class. Nothing.
So we finally made it to Guam and I was still sick. I couldn’t keep a meal down for the first two days I was there, and was pretty weak. I felt like a pussy because my boss made me stay in the room and not work. I didn’t fly half-way around the world to sit in a hotel room and puke, but that’s what he wanted me to do, so I did it.
Finally I felt better and we banged out the job in record time. We installed a 200 foot short wave folded-wire antenna for the Navy on one of their bases there. The only thing that sucked about this particular job was the stringent safety standards that we had to adhere to. Things like safety vests and sleeved shirts and other climbing practices. Oh well. Since we finished so quickly, we had the next two days off. Let the games begin…
Stella and Zoe
Our first night out after completing the tower, my best friend (who happens to be my coworker) and I hit the town hard. We started off at a local bar which we had been frequenting all week, and had made friends with the owner. We got nice and oiled up and headed over to a strip club called the G Spot. (Note: I do not patronize these establishments in the states. This was a special case.)
So we walk in and find a table off in the corner. Both me and my buddy have long hair, and my buddy has a pretty big beard so we stuck out like sore thumbs on an island full of military personnel. We have two girls come over and sit down and the game begins. My buddy is an absolute natural, and we were playing off each other like never before. We both on point and on fire. It was just a thing of beauty. Stella turns out to be from South Dakota and Zoe says she’s from Bend, Oregon. Girls from the states come to Guam for three month contracts, and both had said they arrived only a few weeks ago. Whether all that was true is of no consequence, as you will see.
We work our game for about an hour until 11 o’clock or so. By this time, we’re making out with them and things are on the up and up. We exchange numbers and bounce. The plan was to call them at two when the club closed for a little Tom Foolery on the beach. So me and my buddy head back to the resort, and to be honest, neither of us really expected anything to come of it. Well, two o’clock rolls around and we get the call. Stella and Zoe are standing outside this club called Club Pash because it’s raining really hard and ask us where we are. Brent was like, “Well, you’re standing right outside our hotel!” Club Pash was the hotel club and just happened to be where they stopped to get out of the rain.
So we go down and get them and bring them up to the room. Thankfully, we each had our own room (which is rarely the case) and it was on. We each retreated to our own room and both of us ended up sealing the deal with the strippers. It was funny though because my boss and his wife were on the other side of the wall from my room, and our headboards were right next to each other. At one point, I had to cover her mouth because she was moaning so loudly. My boss would have kicked my ass if he knew I was fucking a stripper in the room he paid for. But it was a lot of fun from the start of the game to the end. Made plans to meet up the next night, but we never did because of…
Julia was another dancer. There were a couple of guys from the crane company that we used for the job that wanted to take us to this place called Club USA. It was another tit bar. Again, we walk in and find a table near the stage. Julia comes up and sits down and we begin to talk and fluff and all that shit. Turns out that she’s from my home state and that I actually lived a few blocks from her house when I was going to college there. We had immediate rapport going on, and she was stoked to be hanging with guys that weren’t in the military. The military guys there were all tools, and it was apparent that the dancers there really hated those guys. So she sat with me for awhile and we kissed a few times and what not between her dancing sets. My buddy and our other co-worker took off because they were tired and left me there to fend for myself. No big deal, I just had to be on-point without my wing. Since I’m a fan of solo sarging anyway, I’ve had plenty of practice with solo missions. I bounced after awhile and Julia said she wanted to take me to this Korean joint for a little dinner after she got off at two. So I got her number and jetted.
I wasn’t ready to go back to the room yet and was feeling quite surly, so I headed back to the G Spot from the night before. My plan was to just get a couple of drinks and head back to the room. I walk in and sit at the bar. One of the dancers was sitting with some chump and she practically jumps out of the booth and makes her way over to me and says, “You’re hot. And you know it. You were here last night and I remember you. Love the hat!” I was rocking one of my fedoras with my hair down, and she was all over it. Talked to her for awhile and found out she was from Oregon. That’s two dancers that said they were from Oregon. But then again, every dancer I talked to said that this is the first time they’ve danced. Yeah right…
So where was I? Oh yeah. Chatting up Rebekah (she made a point to tell me how her name was spelled). We were vibing really well, and it was only 11. I thought to myself, “Can I do this? Can I bone two different strippers from two separate clubs in the same night? Dare I be so BOLD?”
So her roommate/friend/stripper comes up while Rebekah is on stage and we begin flirting and head up to the stage to watch Rebekah do her thing. Rebekah finished and I didn’t see her again for like a half hour. So I’m like, “Fuck this, I’m going back to the hotel.” As I’m getting ready to leave, Rebekah comes up to me and is all pissed/jealous that I was hanging with her friend. I tried to smooth it over, but to no avail. I’m pretty sure I could have shored her up if I had my wingman with me to take some of the heat off me. But, ‘twas not to be. I laughed to myself as I walked back to the room and ran the gauntlet of whore houses ($100 for a lay btw).
Two o’clock rolls around and I honestly truly debated calling Julia. I had already been back at the room for two hours and was pretty drunk/tired. But I was in Guam with a stripper’s number, so I called it. She’s like, “Still wanna grab something to eat?” I told that I was kind of settled in already, but asked her if she wanted to swing by the hotel on her way home. “Sure!” she says…
So Julia comes by and it’s like three in the morning by now. I piled her up pretty hard for about forty five minutes until she said that she was too sore to continue. Again, I had to keep things quiet because of my boss being in the next room. I think it really contributed to my inability to get my nut off, not being able to really let loose with her. Bid her adieu at four in the morning and went to sleep for an hour and a half until I had to wake up and catch my flight home.
Strange journey my friends. Strange indeed. Unfortunately, I couldn’t secure an upgrade for the flight back home because my buddy got the last seat available in first class because he has a few thousand more miles than me, putting him ahead of me in the queue. Fuck that shit! It was like that episode of Seinfeld where Jerry got the first class upgrade and Elaine had to sit in coach for the 12 hour flight. He’s up there drinking champagne and eating strawberries with slippers on while flirting with the hottie next to him, and I’m stuck the middle (again) with a screaming toddler behind me (again). Ah well. Fuck it. This last trip gave me enough miles to pretty much get upgraded wherever I go, so from here on out, it’s first class all the way baby!
Guam is kind of expensive overall. Beers average $6-$7, and drinks are anywhere from $6-$9. Meals will cost you about $10 for lunch and $20 for dinner. It's like Hawaii, except with less people.
Fortune favors the bold.