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Your biggest mistakes in life
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el buffalo Offline
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Post: #26
RE: Your biggest mistakes in life
It's not really a mistake but it's more of a character defect that I must take ownership of and conquer if I want to make the most of my time left on this planet.

FEAR.

FEAR of not being successful enough, not being good enough, not having the inner strength, not fitting in, etc.

That's my biggest mistake. Allowing fear of failure and the opinions of others (no matter how good intentioned) play such a significant role in my decision making for so long.

I'm older and would be called a "failure" by most for being very poor, given my education. I'm finally getting my dignity back and rediscovering my faith though after hitting some real low points in my life back in 2016-2018.

Honored to be a part of this forum. Some great threads here.
04-30-2020 03:23 PM
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Repo Offline
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Post: #27
RE: Your biggest mistakes in life
Bonus mistake: Lifting with a smith machine for too many years and not using free weights
04-30-2020 03:59 PM
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Batman_ Offline
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Post: #28
RE: Your biggest mistakes in life
(04-30-2020 04:06 AM)the-dream Wrote:  
(04-29-2020 08:47 PM)Batman_ Wrote:  Huge opportunity cost overall.

What opportunities did going to college cost you?

Thousands of dollars and thousands of hours of lost time that could have gone towards developing practical skills and investments.

"I drink only the finest breast milks."
"That's 100% Cambodian."
(This post was last modified: 04-30-2020 09:27 PM by Batman_.)
04-30-2020 09:24 PM
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monsquid Offline
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Post: #29
RE: Your biggest mistakes in life
  • Wasting the last two years of high school by playing video games, skipping classes, and thinking I was too cool for school. I got nearly straight A's the first two years then I let my lack of success with girls and popularity get to me. I became bitter and resentful. I gained weight and became a total sulking loser. As a result I didn't apply to any colleges and had to get my shit together much later in my 20's.
  • I regret all the heavy drinking I did in my 20s. I wasn't a daily drinker but once or twice a month I would black out and spend hundreds of dollars partying with friends. I've wasted thousands of dollars, destroyed my health, and took unnecessary risks. While blackout I got into a fight, broke my nose and nearly lost an eye.
  • I've injured myself lifting weights way too many times. I've learned to listen to my body. If I'm tired and can't concentrate I don't force myself to lift heavy or go hard during cardio. Instead I just go for a light jog or a stretch routine. Unless you're a competitive weightlifter there is no need to lift crazy heavy, especially without proper coach or trainer. Most people are doing unsafe bad form one rep maxxes that don't mean anything. You only need to lift 50-60% of your max rep to get the health and fitness benefits, especially if you work behind a desk.
  • I've wasted too much time worrying about the future. I still deal with anxiety from time to time. I don't really dwell on the past that much but near future stuff always gets me. We can only live in the present.
05-01-2020 07:56 AM
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HermeticAlly Offline
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Post: #30
RE: Your biggest mistakes in life
- Majoring in English instead of something useful like Computer Science.
- Not saving more money in my 20s. I could be owning a house right now.
- Not traveling around the country when I lived in Japan.

Nothing major, to be honest.
05-01-2020 08:30 AM
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monsquid Offline
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Post: #31
RE: Your biggest mistakes in life
(05-01-2020 08:30 AM)HermeticAlly Wrote:  - Majoring in English instead of something useful like Computer Science.
- Not saving more money in my 20s. I could be owning a house right now.
- Not traveling around the country when I lived in Japan.

Nothing major, to be honest.

I also lived in Japan but never left the greater Tokyo-Yokohama region other than a touristy trip to Osaka/Kyoto. I even had a license, should have done more camping, skiing, and general adventuring. Instead I wasted my free time drinking in the same crappy bars with forgettable faces.
05-01-2020 09:07 AM
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Kurgan Offline
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Post: #32
RE: Your biggest mistakes in life
- Listening too much to family about career and school and told to do things that they want but I never saw what I wanted to do with life- I almost think with the death of my father- I'm a replacement for him for my mom.

-Not saving enough money in my 20's so I could buy a house in my 30's- instead I lived with a friend in an apartment for years and lost the friendship because he didn't take care of the apartment and I had to move back home with mom and I've come to the realization I've lived with roommates or family for my whole life and I need my own space badly so I can do things I want without being judged and not having to wake up Mom because she falls asleep to TV every night and complains why she can't sleep.

-Dating more after college- I was laser focused on getting the perfect job and perfect home before I get a date and online dating sucks being ghosted wherever I go. It took me a little while to realize what worked for my parents doesn't work for me.

-Networking more in my undergrad years- I could've had a decent paying job and not have to be working in a place that won't let me advance because I wasn't pals with a department or did sexual favors to get better work.
(This post was last modified: 05-02-2020 07:39 PM by Kurgan.)
05-02-2020 07:39 PM
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Siberian Liger Offline
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Post: #33
RE: Your biggest mistakes in life
Mistakes, tough to admit:

-Not jettisoning toxic or one-sided friendships. These elements bring you down and prevent you from full potential. Can be jealous and bring down your vibe. Sever all toxic friendships before you get stuck in patterns.

-Not being more willing to stick my neck out and meet more people. Self explanatory.

-Being unable to bite my tongue or be pleasant to others. You get more out of people when you express interest or speak on their wavelength. One of my flaws is not entertaining relationships with people who I would call "boring" or pedestrian.

-Being too free with money. Is the downfall of many men, whether manifested through unnecessary spending, living outside the life your money can provide, being a club rat, or being a frequent drinker or gambler.
05-02-2020 07:45 PM
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Kentemo Offline
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Post: #34
RE: Your biggest mistakes in life
- Not selling Bitcoin at the high of 20k$. I had a nice 6-figure sum at the hight of it. Now, all profits are gone, also because of buying shitty altcoins that decrease your amount of bitcoin. I made so many mistakes here because of overconfidence.

- Not taking more risks with girls and taking too much stupid risk with money in my 20s. Technically I am still in my 20s, turning 30 end of May. I was a bit addicted to gambling. Hard to say of yourself. Betting 1000$ on Serena Williams to win 60$ was what made me realize I had a problem (won that bet, but she lost the first set and was behind the last set as well 2-0. Very stressful). Luckily I stopped online gambling altogether. But definitely a big mistake.

- Studying 5 years for a degree. Now, my career is in online marketing and I am self-taught. I learned a lot more this way than all my school years combined. It was a waste of time, to be honest. I could've been so much further if I started online marketing 5 years ago instead of partying and drinking with people that aren't in my life now anyway.
(This post was last modified: 05-03-2020 01:52 PM by Kentemo.)
05-03-2020 01:49 PM
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bucky Offline
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Post: #35
RE: Your biggest mistakes in life
I'm almost 50. One of the main things I'd change if I could redo my life is the tendency I had to cultivate friendships with women. Not that I didn't value those friendships, but when you're young you don't think about the fact that they'll eventually get married or at least shack up with another guy and it'll be awkward to be in touch frequently. I wish I'd focused on friendships with like-minded guys more.

Feminism in ten words: "Stop objectifying women! Can't you see I've hit the wall?" -Leonard D Neubache
05-03-2020 05:23 PM
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313jay Offline
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Post: #36
RE: Your biggest mistakes in life
Not taking advantage of all the opportunities the US NAVY provided for me.

Leaving the hedge fund I worked at.

Not going to college.

Getting a party girl and marrying her. (She was 10, I’m a good 8 and now she’s run off with some mid 50s wealthy man with my son.)

I’m 27 now. And I committed everything to making that relationship work. At the end of the day I just wasn’t rich, and she hated that.

She kicked me out of our house and now I’m realizing all my life mistakes. I got my CDL and became a truck truck driver as I don’t have many skills and never went to school.

I still know the investment game very well but I was dealing with the firms money not mine. Yep military to hedge fund, to Truck driver.

Being naive.

Im cool now. Im going to drive my truck and get back to trading once I’ve built up some more capital this year.
05-03-2020 06:21 PM
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Emperor Constantine Offline
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Post: #37
RE: Your biggest mistakes in life
(05-03-2020 06:21 PM)313jay Wrote:  Not going to college.

Do you still have your GI bill? 27's not a bad age to go to college. With a few years of life experience under your belt, you're in a much better position to benefit from college (choosing a useful degree and taking it seriously) than most freshman. And you've also got a huge advantage over the 18-22 year old guys when it comes to finding a suitable woman.

Datasheet: Financial Habits for Single Guys: https://www.rooshvforum.com/thread-74481.html
05-03-2020 07:52 PM
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gework Offline
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Post: #38
RE: Your biggest mistakes in life
A lot of what's said here suggests a lack of the most casual of mentorship.

I never had any advice with anything: women, work, fitness, thought, social...

I had no clue and little idea I had no clue. I see so many people who still haven't figured anything out in their 30s. Guys who lift a few weight in their room for a month, who walk around half shaven and clothes their mama bought them. On Tinder and failing to see why it doesn't work for them...

When I was younger I always thought I was pretty good looking and didn't know why the female attention I got was sparse and low quality. I had zero idea why that was. A while ago I saw a photo of myself when I was younger, wearing clothes mama had bought even after she was dead. I saw someone who had no idea of how others might perceive themselves. In many things I put in no effort, turned up and hoped something happened.

We are of the generation that parents fell into the trap of just letting their children raise themselves, or rather be raised by mummy government and corporations. All the wisdom from 1000s of years of partially contiguous civilization has been put on hold, leading men to remain as boys.

I was reading recently about a psychologist who got this ball rolling: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Benjamin_Spock

The issue is societal. We need to be provided with working blue-prints when we are young.

For me the two biggest mistakes were:

1) not learning a foreign language and using that to pick up a bride from an EE village
2) paying virtually no regard to social circle

But at the same time I think the 20s should be focused on excelling in one area, probably making enough money to be or have the prospect of soon being financially independent. If you can do that then other areas are still easy to work on in your 30s.

Quote:People in darkness do not want to come to the light lest they are exposed.
05-03-2020 10:04 PM
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bucky Offline
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Post: #39
RE: Your biggest mistakes in life
(05-03-2020 10:04 PM)gework Wrote:  A lot of what's said here suggests a lack of the most casual of mentorship.

I never had any advice with anything: women, work, fitness, thought, social...

I had no clue and little idea I had no clue. I see so many people who still haven't figured anything out in their 30s. Guys who lift a few weight in their room for a month, who walk around half shaven and clothes their mama bought them. On Tinder and failing to see why it doesn't work for them...

When I was younger I always thought I was pretty good looking and didn't know why the female attention I got was sparse and low quality. I had zero idea why that was. A while ago I saw a photo of myself when I was younger, wearing clothes mama had bought even after she was dead. I saw someone who had no idea of how others might perceive themselves. In many things I put in no effort, turned up and hoped something happened.

We are of the generation that parents fell into the trap of just letting their children raise themselves, or rather be raised by mummy government and corporations. All the wisdom from 1000s of years of partially contiguous civilization has been put on hold, leading men to remain as boys.

I was reading recently about a psychologist who got this ball rolling: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Benjamin_Spock

The issue is societal. We need to be provided with working blue-prints when we are young.

For me the two biggest mistakes were:

1) not learning a foreign language and using that to pick up a bride from an EE village
2) paying virtually no regard to social circle

But at the same time I think the 20s should be focused on excelling in one area, probably making enough money to be or have the prospect of soon being financially independent. If you can do that then other areas are still easy to work on in your 30s.

You can still learn that foreign language. The biggest thing is to spend at least an hour a day studying without skipping days, preferably two hours or more. The main thing is to just put in the hard work and study every day without skipping days, even when it feels like you're not making progress. If you do that, you'll eventually get it, even if it takes years.

If it's Russian you're interested in, I did a thread a while back on how I learned Russian. Many of the posters disagreed with my methods, but they worked for me. I just looked for it, but it appears to be gone now. I'll try again when I have more time and maybe if I can't find it I'll start a new thread.

Feminism in ten words: "Stop objectifying women! Can't you see I've hit the wall?" -Leonard D Neubache
05-04-2020 07:30 AM
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313jay Offline
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Post: #40
RE: Your biggest mistakes in life
Oh yeah I still have my G.I. Bill.

They will pay for school which is cool.
05-04-2020 09:13 AM
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