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Depression making me feel hopeless about life
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yfc4 Offline
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Post: #51
RE: Depression making me feel hopeless about life
A lot of stuff has been covered but i'll just add

1) Keep going at university. This will be one of the easiest places to meet loads of new people on a regular basis. Dropping out will mean you'll either have to enroll again later in your life, or you won't have a degree. Stick at it.

2) Pack your schedule. Do a bit of research and see what clubs/extra curricular activities are available. Maybe pick 3 or 4 clubs/events (whether it be sports/movie/language/) and get yourself down there regularly. This will get you socializing and interacting with people immediately. Opportunities will arise from this to meet girls also more naturally.

3)Get on Tinder/any other dating apps/websites in the local area. If you're not the best looking/struggling with confidence, lower your standards a bit. A 5/10 is a decent notch for most people.
12-04-2015 04:53 AM
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VolandoVengoVolandoVoy Offline
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Post: #52
RE: Depression making me feel hopeless about life
I think some people in this thread are confusing a temporary feeling of sadness/lethargy/hopelessness with clinical depression/major depressive disorder (a medical condition that is thought to have its basis in a chemical imbalance).

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Major_depressive_disorder
Quote:Major depressive disorder (MDD) (also known as clinical depression, major depression, unipolar depression, or unipolar disorder; or as recurrent depression in the case of repeated episodes) is a mental disorder characterized by a pervasive and persistent low mood that is accompanied by low self-esteem and by a loss of interest or pleasure in normally enjoyable activities. The term "depression" is used in a number of different ways. It is often used to mean this syndrome but may refer to other mood disorders or simply to a low mood. Major depressive disorder is a disabling condition that adversely affects a person's family, work or school life, sleeping and eating habits, and general health. In the United States, around 3.4% of people with major depression commit suicide, and up to 60% of people who commit suicide had depression or another mood disorder.[1]

The diagnosis of major depressive disorder is based on the patient's self-reported experiences, behavior reported by relatives or friends, and a mental status examination. There is no laboratory test for major depression, although physicians generally request tests for physical conditions that may cause similar symptoms. The most common time of onset is between the ages of 20 and 30 years, with a later peak between 30 and 40 years.[2]

Typically, people are treated with antidepressant medication and, in many cases, also receive counseling, particularly cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT).[3] Medication appears to be effective, but the effect may only be significant in the most severely depressed.[4][5] Hospitalization may be necessary in cases with associated self-neglect or a significant risk of harm to self or others. A minority are treated with electroconvulsive therapy (ECT). The course of the disorder varies widely, from one episode lasting weeks to a lifelong disorder with recurrent major depressive episodes. Depressed individuals have shorter life expectancies than those without depression, in part because of greater susceptibility to medical illnesses and suicide. It is unclear whether medications affect the risk of suicide. Current and former patients may be stigmatized.

The understanding of the nature and causes of depression has evolved over the centuries, though this understanding is incomplete and has left many aspects of depression as the subject of discussion and research. Proposed causes include psychological, psycho-social, hereditary, evolutionary and biological factors. Long-term substance abuse may cause or worsen depressive symptoms. Psychological treatments are based on theories of personality, interpersonal communication, and learning. Most biological theories focus on the monoamine chemicals serotonin, norepinephrine and dopamine, which are naturally present in the brain and assist communication between nerve cells. This cluster of symptoms (syndrome) was named, described and classified as one of the mood disorders in the 1980 edition of the American Psychiatric Association's diagnostic manual.


Quote:A major depressive episode is characterized by the presence of a severely depressed mood that persists for at least two weeks.[8] Episodes may be isolated or recurrent and are categorized as mild (few symptoms in excess of minimum criteria), moderate, or severe (marked impact on social or occupational functioning). An episode with psychotic features—commonly referred to as psychotic depression—is automatically rated as severe. If the patient has had an episode of mania or markedly elevated mood, a diagnosis of bipolar disorder is made instead.[134] Depression without mania is sometimes referred to as unipolar because the mood remains at one emotional state or "pole".[135]

DSM-IV-TR excludes cases where the symptoms are a result of bereavement, although it is possible for normal bereavement to evolve into a depressive episode if the mood persists and the characteristic features of a major depressive episode develop.[136] The criteria have been criticized because they do not take into account any other aspects of the personal and social context in which depression can occur.[137] In addition, some studies have found little empirical support for the DSM-IV cut-off criteria, indicating they are a diagnostic convention imposed on a continuum of depressive symptoms of varying severity and duration:[138] Excluded are a range of related diagnoses, including dysthymia, which involves a chronic but milder mood disturbance;[139] recurrent brief depression, consisting of briefer depressive episodes;[140][141] minor depressive disorder, whereby only some symptoms of major depression are present;[142] and adjustment disorder with depressed mood, which denotes low mood resulting from a psychological response to an identifiable event or stressor.[143]

"Me llaman el desaparecido
Que cuando llega ya se ha ido
Volando vengo, volando voy
Deprisa deprisa a rumbo perdido"
12-04-2015 10:29 AM
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worldwidetraveler Offline
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RE: Depression making me feel hopeless about life
(12-04-2015 10:29 AM)VolandoVengoVolandoVoy Wrote:  I think some people in this thread are confusing a temporary feeling of sadness/lethargy/hopelessness with clinical depression/major depressive disorder (a medical condition that is thought to have its basis in a chemical imbalance).

I think this is one of those things that need to be experienced before truly understanding. The guys that say "just change your thoughts" have, more than likely, never experienced true major depression in the clinical sense.

Welcome back VVV.

OP, what helped me was strenuous exercise. Lifting weights is what really helped to keep away the debilitating depression. It had to be hard and make me sweat. After about 5 years of doing that, I haven't had any problems. I would recommend going to a doctor. More than likely he will get you on some anti-depressants which will help you get out of this funk. Then hit up exercising if you already haven't.
(This post was last modified: 12-04-2015 11:03 AM by worldwidetraveler.)
12-04-2015 10:40 AM
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Post: #54
RE: Depression making me feel hopeless about life
(12-04-2015 03:46 AM)Beyond Borders Wrote:  
(12-03-2015 11:28 PM)Giovonny Wrote:  
(12-03-2015 04:41 PM)Beyond Borders Wrote:  patronize me

I wasn't sure what "patronizing" meant, I looked it up -- "to say with a feeling of superiority; talk down to, look down on, put down, treat like a child, treat with disdain"

That is not an accurate description of my tone or intent. I talk to you with full respect, always. I said "online buddy" because I meant it. You're one of the few guys that I would want to hang out with.

(12-04-2015 02:05 AM)offthereservation Wrote:  Yes it is necessary to state, although it is not an insult to anyone.

It's all good, guys. I think I was a bit hasty in firing at you two and using such a combative tone and language. Not the first time I've done that, so I apologize. And Gio, I agree with that sentiment.

No worries here.
12-04-2015 11:09 AM
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Huey Offline
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Post: #55
RE: Depression making me feel hopeless about life
(12-04-2015 10:40 AM)worldwidetraveler Wrote:  
(12-04-2015 10:29 AM)VolandoVengoVolandoVoy Wrote:  I think some people in this thread are confusing a temporary feeling of sadness/lethargy/hopelessness with clinical depression/major depressive disorder (a medical condition that is thought to have its basis in a chemical imbalance).

I think this is one of those things that need to be experienced before truly understanding. The guys that say "just change your thoughts" have, more than likely, never experienced true major depression in the clinical sense.

You missed this part
Quote:Behavioral interventions, such as interpersonal therapy and cognitive-behavioral therapy, are effective at preventing new onset depression

Of course it's not as easy as changing your thoughts, and if you have major depression it'll be difficult to do so with bibliotherapy (CBT/REBT with a therapist would be better) but it does work. There are thousands of studies showing so.
12-04-2015 11:13 AM
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Post: #56
RE: Depression making me feel hopeless about life
Centurion, I know this is nearly cliche advice but I didn't see it mentioned yet in the thread (apologies if I missed)- are there any decent MMA/Muay Thai/BJJ/Boxing gyms around you? I went through a period in my life where a lot of friends moved away, and the new friendships I developed have felt superficial/flaky/etc. I was also in rough shape financially as the economy tanked in 08-09 (i was in real estate), so I was in low spirits. I joined a good BJJ gym and a lot of that turned around - confidence boost, camaraderie, and motivation to get in shape. Lifting is great as others have alluded to - but by itself it won't address the social isolation. Being in a competitive environment adds a new motivation to physical fitness/lifting - you aren't just lifting to look good for girls, you are getting in shape to win over your opponents. Especially when you are 19 and your body can recover quicker than ever, now is the time to get into that. I started training at 27 and while it's great I did, I would have definitely started earlier if I had it to do over.

Oh yeah and as others have mentioned - deactivate your FB account. The negatives outweigh the positives for you at this point.
(This post was last modified: 12-04-2015 12:01 PM by poledaddy.)
12-04-2015 12:00 PM
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Post: #57
RE: Depression making me feel hopeless about life
@Beyond Borders

I thought about it, it was my fault! I was patronizing! But, not towards you! I was patronizing towards SEA as sex tourist destination.

Whenever someone has a sexual problem, I always say -- "Just go to Thailand, bang some hookers"

I often say it in with a somewhat condescending tone.

I should be more careful with that.

I know SEA is a beautiful place with some beautiful women + culture, etc.

I make it sound like its all hookers and betas.

Obviously, that is not true. That is just my ignorant generalization of something that I know very little about.

Anyways, I feel like maybe that is what upset you.

My apologies.

--

Okay, moving on..

(12-04-2015 12:01 AM)Centurion Wrote:  Just curious, why do you cold approach so much if it's not that helpful making you feel better?

I never said that!

Cold approaching works for me. I am psychologically prepared to deal with it.

You, apparently, are not psychologically prepared to deal with it.

Here is my exact quote:

(12-03-2015 02:59 PM)Giovonny Wrote:  You are not mentally prepared to deal with the emotional roller coaster of gaming.

Talk to lots of girls, but, stop gaming them! Just talk from a neutral, outcome independent position.

I was talking about YOU.

Notice how I said to keep talking to lots of girls, just be less caring about the results.

(12-04-2015 12:01 AM)Centurion Wrote:  I don't actually do homework- I often skip it because it's too overwhelming.

I've actually tried a bit of applications(not necessarily seriously trying), and it feels really demotivating getting rejected time and time again.

Wait, so you have filled out some job applications but just haven't gotten any jobs? Maybe, you need some assistance with the job interview part?

More questions:


What do your parents do?

How is your relationship with your parents?

Do you have friends? How is your social life?

When was the last time you had a girlfriend? When was the last time you had sex?

--

(12-03-2015 03:05 PM)offthereservation Wrote:  OP writes exactly like toysoldier who was banned.

Interesting..?

Why was toysolider banned?
12-04-2015 12:24 PM
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worldwidetraveler Offline
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Post: #58
RE: Depression making me feel hopeless about life
(12-04-2015 11:13 AM)Huey Wrote:  Of course it's not as easy as changing your thoughts, and if you have major depression it'll be difficult to do so with bibliotherapy (CBT/REBT with a therapist would be better) but it does work. There are thousands of studies showing so.

I wasn't referring to VVV's post.

I was referring to the idea that you can say fuck it and everything gets better. It doesn't work that way.

At least it never worked that way for me. I monitor myself and make sure if I see an episode coming I get around people, I work out hard, I make sure I get outside and breath. Basically, I am able to cut it off before it begins.

It works for me. I haven't had any problems for 5 years now. That doesn't mean I haven't felt bummed from time to time. That isn't the same.

He should be trying everything and anything out until he finds what works for him.

If you've been through this stuff, the idea of him having a hard time filling out applications isn't too difficult to comprehend.

Forums are not the best place to be asking this stuff. As I said, most people (which is a good thing) won't really understand and will shoot out advice based on just snapping yourself out of the melancholy.
(This post was last modified: 12-04-2015 02:19 PM by worldwidetraveler.)
12-04-2015 02:14 PM
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Post: #59
RE: Depression making me feel hopeless about life
(12-04-2015 12:24 PM)Giovonny Wrote:  Wait, so you have filled out some job applications but just haven't gotten any jobs? Maybe, you need some assistance with the job interview part?

More questions:


What do your parents do?

How is your relationship with your parents?

Do you have friends? How is your social life?

When was the last time you had a girlfriend? When was the last time you had sex?

Haven't ever gotten to the interview stage. Perhaps I didn't send enough applications... it's honestly way more work and annoying than being rejected by girls, which is actually enjoyable(but draining), but this feels very "corporate" in a bad way.

Parents work, though retiring. Had a bad relationship with them when I was younger, but neutral now. I'm glad they are providing for me but I'd rather not be with them if I had money.

Don't really have friends- there are a few people I hang out with every so often.

Never had a girlfriend or sex. That's why I've been relying on PUA so heavily.
12-04-2015 02:42 PM
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RE: Depression making me feel hopeless about life
(12-04-2015 04:42 AM)GlobalMan Wrote:  What the OP describes about the not even being able to fill out an application fits in perfectly with what people with clinical depression often feel, its not just being lazy. Normal daily tasks can feel like huge burdens, getting the smallest things done become a chore, or seen as pointless. Even continuing to maintain normal hygiene can feel like a burden to them.

Yes! This is exactly how I feel. But the heavy way I'd been mocked throughout highschool for not showering/washing clothes made me feel bad/guilty that it's "my" problem, so it's weird how reading now it's a generalised depression problem.


(12-04-2015 04:42 AM)GlobalMan Wrote:  We do not know what the state of this guys mind really is, we do not know which approach he needs. He absolutely needs to see someone about this, sooner rather than later. We can give him some good advice, but he needs more than that.

OP, I urge you to go get some professional help.

And to everyone else- If someone you care about calls late night, answer the phone no matter what. It's a regret I will have for the rest of my life.

Hopefully I don't kill myself. But being there myself it's pretty much moods swinging back and forth, and being "possessed" by depression at a critical moment that might make you pull the trigger.

Already have seen a therapist for a year. Basically we've been talking about our life, I go once a fortnight. I don't know how much it's helping.
12-04-2015 02:46 PM
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Post: #61
RE: Depression making me feel hopeless about life
(12-04-2015 02:46 PM)Centurion Wrote:  
(12-04-2015 04:42 AM)GlobalMan Wrote:  We do not know what the state of this guys mind really is, we do not know which approach he needs. He absolutely needs to see someone about this, sooner rather than later. We can give him some good advice, but he needs more than that.

OP, I urge you to go get some professional help.

And to everyone else- If someone you care about calls late night, answer the phone no matter what. It's a regret I will have for the rest of my life.

Hopefully I don't kill myself. But being there myself it's pretty much moods swinging back and forth, and being "possessed" by depression at a critical moment that might make you pull the trigger.

Already have seen a therapist for a year. Basically we've been talking about our life, I go once a fortnight. I don't know how much it's helping.

In that case it may be time to look for someone else to see. I'm surprised the therapist has not yet taken a different approach, either he/she is under the false impression there has been progress (possible/likely) or they're not too concerned about that. I'd ask him/her at the next visit what the goals are and what is the next step, as you don't feel much different.

Don't make the mistake, which comes natural, of wanting to please them and say you're doing better than you really are. Be honest. That's the only way they can know that something different needs to be done.

If a year in with this person hasn't done much for you then it might be a good idea to seek someone else out if you don't get the answers you want when you ask where this is going. Don't listen to those that say medication should be avoided at all costs, in some cases it is the correct action to take. Obviously it's preferable to not have to, but sometimes thats the best way to treat it, at least initially. It's a better alternative to ending up somewhere far worse. You have to realize it's a medical issue, and it needs to be treated like any other. You can get better.

Question- Do you experience 'pain' in your head either generally or when you're feeling especially bad, in a way that's difficult to describe?

Americans are dreamers too
(This post was last modified: 12-04-2015 03:43 PM by GlobalMan.)
12-04-2015 03:39 PM
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Post: #62
RE: Depression making me feel hopeless about life
Not pain, really. When I was super down/sad like I was in the OP, I did feel overwhelming sadness. That's like an "emotional" depression, and is uncommon for me. But more often(it's quite common) I experience a "physical" depression where I feel virtually zero energy to do things.

Edit: I do have to say that this therapist seems one of the best I've had. 5 years ago we did "shop around" and many of them didn't care that much about me and did the whole "tough love" retardedness and pill pushing scamming(to me). This one seems to listen to me and cares. Although that may not be enough?
(This post was last modified: 12-04-2015 04:00 PM by Centurion.)
12-04-2015 03:49 PM
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Beyond Borders Away
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Post: #63
RE: Depression making me feel hopeless about life
(12-04-2015 12:24 PM)Giovonny Wrote:  @Beyond Borders

I thought about it, it was my fault! I was patronizing! But, not towards you! I was patronizing towards SEA as sex tourist destination.

Whenever someone has a sexual problem, I always say -- "Just go to Thailand, bang some hookers"

I often say it in with a somewhat condescending tone.

I should be more careful with that.

I know SEA is a beautiful place with some beautiful women + culture, etc.

I make it sound like its all hookers and betas.

Obviously, that is not true. That is just my ignorant generalization of something that I know very little about.

Anyways, I feel like maybe that is what upset you.

My apologies.

Yes, that's a generalization, but it's also not a half bad prescription.

I'm glad you recognize that, but anyways, it's not what ticked me off at all. In any case, water under the bridge.

Rock on.

"The individual has always had to struggle to keep from being overwhelmed by the tribe.
To be your own man is a hard business. If you try it, you'll be lonely often, and sometimes
frightened. But no price is too high to pay for the privilege of owning yourself." - Kipling
12-04-2015 04:42 PM
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Post: #64
RE: Depression making me feel hopeless about life
Centurion, when I first saw your age and the situation you described, I figured you were going through what many of us went through at your age. That's why I took the tough love stance of encouraging you to get out there and accept responsibility for what happens in life. That's what I needed at my age, and it worked for me.

Now that I've had more time to think about your responses (Not being able to fill out applications), I'm beginning to think VVV was right with his major depressive syndrome guess. If that's the case, then your condition is mostly due to a chemical imbalance, and a lot of the advice here might not be enough for you. What is your sleep pattern like?

Seeing a therapist who you trust might be your best option. If you decide to take that route, be very careful of what medication they suggest, and be aware of the potential side effects.

If it's serious, asking us for advice that won't be able to cure the underlying condition won't be of much help. If it's not that serious, then you have more than enough suggestions within this thread to try out. Some of them may be beneficial regardless of any condition. Either way, good luck.
12-04-2015 04:49 PM
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Post: #65
RE: Depression making me feel hopeless about life
OP did you do/try/change anything? (Aside from feelings observations)
12-06-2015 05:35 PM
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Post: #66
RE: Depression making me feel hopeless about life
(12-06-2015 05:35 PM)offthereservation Wrote:  OP did you do/try/change anything? (Aside from feelings observations)

I'm reading "Feeling Good" by David D Burns. The things I'm changing is changing my self esteem to be less achievement based and more "I exist" based. Because depressed people tend to have a lot less accurate judgement of how good they are, and tend to dismiss legitimate positivity. It starts off saying how reading a book like this and working on challenging your depression seems more effective than antidepressants.

I'm only partway through the book- but I learned a lot of things which I thought were either bad personality traits of mine or horrible things I "uniquely" go through- are all just standard depression symptoms. Like thinking negatively about everything, thinking it's a big deal to shower/wash clothes/eat, being "lazy" or wanting to lay in bed all the time, paranoia about others judging you, thinking the positive things you do/happen in your life "don't count", etc.

The book also suggest I write down every time a negative thought pops into my head- and counter it straight away(because in all depressed people, it mostly is illogical). Because the negative thought influences negative feelings, and soon it feels like very "realistic" and your mood feels inevitable, when if you tracked it at the source, it was very changeable/controllable. It also suggests I write down the expected satisfaction of doing activities before I do them, and then write the actual, so I get an idea of how not-pointless stuff is and how negative depression makes you.

Obviously being depressed I have an aversion to chores like writing things down, but the techniques seem very hopeful.

Along with getting my self esteem to be secure in myself and not feel like I "must" or should/ought to do things, I also have let go of my heightened expectations of others/situations/life in general, and it seems to be good so far.

There was also an analogy about how depressed people take a look at the big picture and get overwhelmed, when if they break it down into little steps, they wouldn't be. Like if a person imagines all the food he eats over his lifetime, it would seem impossible, but taken step by step, it just naturally happens. In my case the analogy is a bit weaker since I don't like eating and think it's a huge chore. (I'd rather have eaten than eat.) But the analogy still makes a lot of sense.

Also an interesting thing the book talks about if if someone obnoxiously insists you do something that's probably smart/a good idea(The example was a parent). You feel cornered in a no win situation- If you don't do what they say, you are screwing yourself for no reason, if you *do* do what they say, you feel like you've "lost" or had to back down to a jerk(or as the book said, you feel you've been had).

I've actually felt this quite a lot of times, often my brain would ad-hominem them and say "they can't be right because they suck because X". Of course, sometimes they are(even if they have a track record of being wrong and pushy about it), and ironically it took longer and more convincing of that point of view than if they didn't think it was a good idea or was neutral on it. The solution is to do it anyway but assert that it was your own idea and their pushiness doesn't help.
(This post was last modified: 12-07-2015 01:40 AM by Centurion.)
12-07-2015 01:38 AM
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Post: #67
RE: Depression making me feel hopeless about life
OP, you've got to fight back against the depression. You can do things in the short term that make a difference.

1. First understand that your mind may be tricking you into feeling sad. Things are never as good or as bad as we think them to be.
2. Get an exercise program going NOW. You need to change the body chemistry in the short-term.
3. Get negative people out of your life.
3. Get out of the house and keep moving.
4. Establish a phone call routine to call friends and/or family. You must not isolate yourself. This is critical.

You should also immediately contact a doctor to see if there is anything chemically going on that you can treat. Sometimes problems go beyond what we believe them to be.

Remember this: you have to realize that you, and you alone, have the power to control your destiny. You have more power than you think you do.

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(This post was last modified: 12-07-2015 01:58 AM by Quintus Curtius.)
12-07-2015 01:57 AM
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Post: #68
RE: Depression making me feel hopeless about life
(12-04-2015 02:46 PM)Centurion Wrote:  Hopefully I don't kill myself. But being there myself it's pretty much moods swinging back and forth, and being "possessed" by depression at a critical moment that might make you pull the trigger.

Centurion, I'm glad to see your updates, but I missed this part here, and it's really too much for the forum. You are either a) being melodramatic, or b) dealing with something that a bunch of random guys on the internet are in no way, shape, or form prepared to help you with.

Get into a doctor, Man. If you're already seeing him every fortnight, as you say, it's time to give him a ring and let him know if suicide is really a serious consideration for you because that's not something you should be turning to an online forum for help with. We're not qualified to respond to that and it's unfair to put us in that position in the first place.

In fact, I can almost guarantee there are rules in place here at the forum against us giving advice for a problem of this nature.

Keep updating us with what's going on and what you learn in those books or from your therapist - I appreciated seeing how much effort you're putting into soaking up the book. But it should be made perfectly clear that this is not the platform for a discussion about suicide.

"The individual has always had to struggle to keep from being overwhelmed by the tribe.
To be your own man is a hard business. If you try it, you'll be lonely often, and sometimes
frightened. But no price is too high to pay for the privilege of owning yourself." - Kipling
(This post was last modified: 12-07-2015 06:58 AM by Beyond Borders.)
12-07-2015 06:54 AM
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Post: #69
RE: Depression making me feel hopeless about life
As an open disclaimer, it should be stated that the advice given in this thread is not medical advice, and should be used for entertainment and informational purposes only.
12-07-2015 07:51 AM
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Post: #70
RE: Depression making me feel hopeless about life
If you are open to spirituality at all I would recommend looking into the phenomenon of spiritual enlightenment. It's a process that can bring about the end of all depression and anxiety.

Search for Eckhart Tolle's talks about what he calls "the pain body".

If you prefer to take a "rational" approach there's a REBT/CBT thread here.

Bella, horrida bella
et Thybrim multo spumantem sanguine cerno
12-07-2015 10:13 AM
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Post: #71
RE: Depression making me feel hopeless about life
Centurion, that's awesome that you decided to look into reading "Feeling Good" and started implementing the exercises in it. From your description, it sounds like it's having a positive effect. You deserve credit for overcoming low motivation and taking positive action to try it out. We're all rooting for you here.
12-07-2015 10:47 AM
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Post: #72
RE: Depression making me feel hopeless about life
On a semi-serious note:

[Image: 218975.jpg]

It's true. You cannot be sad on a jetski.
12-07-2015 12:41 PM
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Zep Offline
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Post: #73
RE: Depression making me feel hopeless about life
OP, after reading your posts, your depression sounds clinical.

1) find a psychiatrist, get started on medication. You will likely have to try a few. This means going on one for three months and seeing if it works for you. If not, come off of it, try another, so on and so forth. This is typical.

2) so while your brain chemistry is being kick-started, now do the body, do as others have suggested and eat properly and get to a gym. Now you're waking up the body too.

3) You'll feel better in 2 months of finding the right meds and working out. Now the 'romance' department. If you're not getting any progress, SEE A PRO. Like anything else, it's a skill-set, so pay a teacher. There's a few companies to choose from.

I personally have tried re-framing, and I think it's a load of nonsense when you are clinically depressed. Being clinically depressed is like having a broken leg, something is wrong and no amount of "reframing" via positive self-talk is going to make it better. Been there.

Once you've sorted your brain and body chemistry as much as possible, go to a sunny place as the others have suggested. Sun!!

Good Luck.
12-07-2015 01:20 PM
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Post: #74
RE: Depression making me feel hopeless about life
Just for fun and my own intellectual curiosity, I'm going to continue to participate in this thread..

(12-04-2015 02:42 PM)Centurion Wrote:  Parents

bad relationship with them

Of course! A dysfunctional childhood often leads to a dysfunctional adulthood.

Bad parenting is likely the root cause of your mental problems.

Address these childhood issues. These issues are more important than your game.

These issues are the foundation that your game is built upon.

Get more help! Get professional help! Family therapist, support groups, doctor, etc. Get help

(12-04-2015 02:42 PM)Centurion Wrote:  Don't really have friends

This a major issue!

WE ALL NEED A SUPPORT SYSTEM!

Be more aggressive to find like minded people. Depression support groups, hobby based activity groups, etc.

(12-04-2015 02:42 PM)Centurion Wrote:  Never had sex.

That's why I've been relying on PUA so heavily.

For a depressed, virgin.. PUA is not an efficient or effective way to get sex!

A depressed, virgin, is not prepared to deal with the rejection, emotional roller coaster, flaking, numbers game, texting, etc., of PUA!

You need a better strategy to get sex..

Find a legal, healthy, sex worker who is willing to help a young man like yourself. Have sex with multiple sex workers. Talk to them about your issues. You need the experience and the fun!

This is a much more effective and efficient way to get sex

I think it would be a good investment, an investment in yourself!

PUA will still be here when you're in a more stable mental state.

(12-04-2015 02:42 PM)Centurion Wrote:  Never had a girlfriend

If you want a girlfriend, you must become a desirable man. A man who young women would like to spend time with. A man who has something to offer.

A depressed man is not desirable because of his negative vibe and negative worldview.

If you want a girlfriend, you must focus on self improvement.

PUA is not necessarily self improvement.

Again, PUA is not always the best strategy.

You need professional help!

(12-04-2015 02:46 PM)Centurion Wrote:  I'd been mocked throughout high school for not showering/washing clothes

Wait?!?!?

You didn't shower or wash your clothes in high school???

Why not?

(12-04-2015 02:46 PM)Centurion Wrote:  Hopefully I don't kill myself.

It depends..

If you fix your depression and lead a fruitful life, than, yeah, I hope you don't kill yourself!

But..

If your depression turns into madness and you decide to hurt other people (mass hooting, murder etc.) Well, in that case suicide is more honorable than homicide.

My brother killed himself and while I wish he hadn't, I am thankful that he didn't take any innocent people with him.

(12-07-2015 12:41 PM)Phoenix Wrote:  [Image: 218975.jpg].

In my opinion, this is the best post in the thread!

A life without fun is depressing!

The OP clearly needs to have more fun!

I think there is a serious lack of fun and play in the modern, western world. Having fun is almost stigmatized as being "non-productive", "childish", etc.

For me, having fun is an important part of my mental health strategy. If I'm not having fun, I get anxious and angry.

The only reason I am NOT a depressed, drug addict is because I dedicated my life to having fun!

Having fun saves lives!

If you live a life filled with fun, passion, and excitement -- It's hard to be depressed!

"Most men lead lives of quiet desperation" - Henry Thoureau

I think about that quote almost everyday. Then, I go out and enjoy life. I refuse to live in quiet desperation!



(This post was last modified: 12-10-2015 07:01 PM by Giovonny.)
12-10-2015 06:38 PM
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Centurion Offline
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Post: #75
RE: Depression making me feel hopeless about life
Update, I wrote a PM to Beyond Borders and he told me to post it here as well.

Quote:Hey.

I did a cold approach on this hippy/alternative girl, and she invited me to this warehouse party that her, her fuck buddy and a group of ~9 were going to. The girls seemed a bit slutty and so in terms of sexuality/whats good for society the group is very blue pill. But they are very warm and welcoming, and made me feel like I belong- more than I've ever felt before(even more than RVF- which I'm more intellectually similar to).

The party was really fun, I'm a morning person and I usually had colored my negative expectations with being lonely, by myself, trying to get laid in clubs and failing, but maybe the depression tips in the book worked, because despite me staying up to 3 it was great(Where I normally would grumble about staying up even 20 minutes past 12/my bedtime). I did make a move on the girl(trying to kiss), which didn't end up working out.

I did end up making friends with the group and hopefully I will keep in contact and keep meeting up with them. I felt I could be "real" with them about my personality quite a lot. The exceptions being- I think the slut/party culture is quite bad, but I won't actually say anything obviously. I want to bang some of the girls, so I won't talk about PUA. And in NZ we don't actually know much about the migrant crisis and we assume it's all gravy to help the refugees, so I definitely won't go on a hate-filled rant against the violent primitives. Other than that I definitely felt I could be straight up with them.
12-17-2015 01:33 AM
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