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Early 30s losing friends and going Solo abroad
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Patbate Offline
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Post: #1
Early 30s losing friends and going Solo abroad
Friends are all starting to settle down with wives/girlfriends and lose the apatite for game and travelling abroad.

Always had a huge social circle which was enough until now. Had a plan to move abroad with them but it fell apart as we got older.

Was wondering how you guys do it.

Do you move abroad completely solo? Game solo? Just find wingmen on RVF?

What does day to day look your life look like abroad in your early 30s.
03-03-2019 08:40 PM
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flyinghorse Offline
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RE: Early 30s losing friends and going Solo abroad
I moved to asia two years ago at 30 and made a ton of friends. It was easy to meet like minded people as the settling down family type dudes were back home while the more adventurous free spirts were here ready to go out and have fun.

Personally I keep my social life and hooking up totally separate.

If I want to have fun and drink or even explore I message my friends. If I want to get laid or date I go on tinder and bumble and do so.

Tinder makes it super easy to meet people when travelling as well. That's the only way I've met other English speakers sometime and its something of a god send.
03-03-2019 08:52 PM
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Patbate Offline
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RE: Early 30s losing friends and going Solo abroad
(03-03-2019 08:52 PM)flyinghorse Wrote:  I moved to asia two years ago at 30 and made a ton of friends. It was easy to meet like minded people as the settling down family type dudes were back home while the more adventurous free spirts were here ready to go out and have fun.

Personally I keep my social life and hooking up totally separate.

If I want to have fun and drink or even explore I message my friends. If I want to get laid or date I go on tinder and bumble and do so.

Tinder makes it super easy to meet people when travelling as well. That's the only way I've met other English speakers sometime and its something of a god send.

Thanks, so things don't have to be solo then.

I've always mixed social life and hooking up together with night game. Asia and Ukraine are the places that I'm probably going to move to.

Have you done any solo night game?
03-03-2019 08:59 PM
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cruzinV Offline
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Post: #4
RE: Early 30s losing friends and going Solo abroad
(03-03-2019 08:52 PM)flyinghorse Wrote:  I moved to asia two years ago at 30 and made a ton of friends. It was easy to meet like minded people as the settling down family type dudes were back home while the more adventurous free spirts were here ready to go out and have fun.

Personally I keep my social life and hooking up totally separate.

If I want to have fun and drink or even explore I message my friends. If I want to get laid or date I go on tinder and bumble and do so.

Tinder makes it super easy to meet people when travelling as well. That's the only way I've met other English speakers sometime and its something of a god send.

But isnt tinder only for meeting chicks? How do you meet wingman?
03-03-2019 10:44 PM
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Fitman2018 Offline
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Post: #5
RE: Early 30s losing friends and going Solo abroad
use FB groups for the city your visiting and find other travelers in that city. also if your staying in a tourist area there definitely should be other guys to go out with.
03-04-2019 12:09 AM
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flyinghorse Offline
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Post: #6
RE: Early 30s losing friends and going Solo abroad
(03-03-2019 10:44 PM)cruzinV Wrote:  
(03-03-2019 08:52 PM)flyinghorse Wrote:  I moved to asia two years ago at 30 and made a ton of friends. It was easy to meet like minded people as the settling down family type dudes were back home while the more adventurous free spirts were here ready to go out and have fun.

Personally I keep my social life and hooking up totally separate.

If I want to have fun and drink or even explore I message my friends. If I want to get laid or date I go on tinder and bumble and do so.

Tinder makes it super easy to meet people when travelling as well. That's the only way I've met other English speakers sometime and its something of a god send.

But isnt tinder only for meeting chicks? How do you meet wingman?
Yep tinder is just for dates and hook ups. Although I did once meet someone in Italy to hang out with as friends to explore the city with (woman).

I made all my male mates through my work.
03-04-2019 03:38 AM
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Fitman2018 Offline
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RE: Early 30s losing friends and going Solo abroad
one thing i will say you guys when traveling solo to another city, it definitely helps to have friends whether male or female to do things with when not gaming girls. I found that if i make my trip only on women I would get bored but if you plan on staying like at least a week or two and meet a few guys or any one else that can help and also safer too when going out at night at least if you plan on drinking.
03-04-2019 08:08 AM
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Patbate Offline
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Post: #8
RE: Early 30s losing friends and going Solo abroad
Makes sense. Just never the one to go and meet new guys. But hey gotta start somewhere. Hope they're not NPCs
03-04-2019 02:33 PM
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Black Caesar Offline
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Post: #9
RE: Early 30s losing friends and going Solo abroad
Do you just need general advice on making friends?

Meeting people while solo traveling is trivially easy because almost everyone is curious about you, so if you have any level of social skill you can turn that in to a social circle without issue.

You can use your circle to source chicks or build out your own time and locations to pull if you prefer working on chicks outside of your friend group.

I tend to do both cause I like to hang with my friends but also enjoy more flexible solo time.

All of my friends come from going out solo and talking to people then getting numbers and invites out to new places. Then you meet more of their circle and continue the cycle.

Literaly you have to work to not meet people as a solo traveler and after a few weeks in a place you should be able to have a solid circle.
03-05-2019 12:26 AM
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No More Mr. Soy Boy Offline
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RE: Early 30s losing friends and going Solo abroad
(03-05-2019 12:26 AM)Black Caesar Wrote:  Meeting people while solo traveling is trivially easy because almost everyone is curious about you, so if you have any level of social skill you can turn that in to a social circle without issue.

(03-05-2019 12:26 AM)Black Caesar Wrote:  Literaly you have to work to not meet people as a solo traveler and after a few weeks in a place you should be able to have a solid circle.

Almost everyone? Wow.
I sat and thought to myself whether I thought this sounded like it was actually the case but I'm not sure anymore. I would probably say almost no one is curious about you these days.

I think it depends, it's a different thing traveling today compared to before. I think you have to be more specific if you're going to make a claim like that.
Especially in Western Europe where so many cities have turned multicultural and with the Schengen agreement it's like people don't find it that exciting or exotic with a foreigner.

Unless you first make them aware that you have some sort of superficial value like a good Instagram, that is. Maybe a little exaggeration but I sense there's a bit of truth to it.
People and especially younger generations seem more interested in their smartphones than making human connections. Unfortunately, the few cool ones tend to be those guys who are out there solo traveling themselves, that you'll often just hang out with for a such a short period of time, before you change paths and most likely never see each other again.

And the paradox here is that when you're young it's a bit easier since you have people your age and they're often willing to hang out but many in their 30's are too busy with their new families, girlfriends and wives and kids and so on and have less energy and have pretty much given up on life (and are usually boring to hang out with to begin with since they have so low energy).

When I've been to many places in Eastern Europe I can't say people have taken much interest in me. If you look into that Poland thread, for example, there are multiple guys that confirm that westerners who go there are often looked at just as losers for going there. No one is particularly curious about a loser or wants to be his friend.

With that said, it's obviously not impossible. There are cool people out there too but I wouldn't say building a social circle from scratch in your 30's is something anyone with just a bit of social skills can do "without issue" and is a matter of weeks.
(This post was last modified: 03-05-2019 01:11 AM by No More Mr. Soy Boy.)
03-05-2019 01:10 AM
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Post: #11
RE: Early 30s losing friends and going Solo abroad
Find a bar with a vibe you like and chill there. I usually start by talking to the bartenders, barbacks and other types.

Once I feel out a spot like that I find that people start introducing me to new people just as a matter of course.

"yooo meet fortis, he's new in town" and other shit tends to go down.
03-05-2019 01:23 AM
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cruzinV Offline
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RE: Early 30s losing friends and going Solo abroad
(03-05-2019 01:23 AM)Fortis Wrote:  Find a bar with a vibe you like and chill there. I usually start by talking to the bartenders, barbacks and other types.

Once I feel out a spot like that I find that people start introducing me to new people just as a matter of course.

"yooo meet fortis, he's new in town" and other shit tends to go down.

I used to have a bartender friend who'd always complain about lonely ppl trying to have a "conversation" with him, they actually hate it but tolerate it. I would recomend talking to other solo customers instead.
(This post was last modified: 03-05-2019 01:47 AM by cruzinV.)
03-05-2019 01:46 AM
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Black Caesar Offline
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RE: Early 30s losing friends and going Solo abroad
Soy Boy,

Time for some self reflection.

Are you boring? Do you tend to take initiative when you go out or do you just sit and drink? Do you talk to anyone when you travel?

Have traveled all over and people are ALWAYS curious about a foreigner.

Like just start a conversation, say you're from out of town and the questions start rolling in.

However I'm not a generic wall flower and I make it a point to meet people and have interesting stories and perspective to share.

Can't think of a single time in my travels where someone straight wasn't interested in what the random American was doing in their country.

This has been equally true for huge tourist cities like Paris and backwater rural towns in Africa.

I also don't tend to go to too many well beaten expat locations even in cities like Paris. Of course if all you do is hang out at the Louvre coffee shop no one cares about another toursit.
(This post was last modified: 03-05-2019 04:06 AM by Black Caesar.)
03-05-2019 04:03 AM
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No More Mr. Soy Boy Offline
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RE: Early 30s losing friends and going Solo abroad
(03-05-2019 04:03 AM)Black Caesar Wrote:  This has been equally true for huge tourist cities like Paris and backwater rural towns in Africa.

Haha, now it makes sense why you would have a worldview like this.
Well, just wait until you've visited Scandinavia, Netherlands or Germany during a cold winter.

Or go to Poland or Romania and see if they're just as excited about someone from the states.
03-05-2019 06:11 AM
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aeroektar Offline
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RE: Early 30s losing friends and going Solo abroad
(03-05-2019 01:46 AM)cruzinV Wrote:  
(03-05-2019 01:23 AM)Fortis Wrote:  Find a bar with a vibe you like and chill there. I usually start by talking to the bartenders, barbacks and other types.

Once I feel out a spot like that I find that people start introducing me to new people just as a matter of course.

"yooo meet fortis, he's new in town" and other shit tends to go down.

I used to have a bartender friend who'd always complain about lonely ppl trying to have a "conversation" with him, they actually hate it but tolerate it. I would recomend talking to other solo customers instead.

You're a newb with a sample size of one giving shit advice. Talking to bartenders is normal social behavior and a great way to get general information or the run down about a new city.
03-05-2019 06:48 AM
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Black Caesar Offline
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RE: Early 30s losing friends and going Solo abroad
I'm sure they would be (done Netherlands in Wintet and made friends without issue)

Sometimes yall just neef to Get Good
03-05-2019 09:55 AM
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Fortis Away
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RE: Early 30s losing friends and going Solo abroad
I talk to them because I actually want to talk to them. I have no problems going to a bar and sitting there for hours saying nothing to anyone.

I find that bartenders are usually pretty chill if you aren't a weirdo. They aren't gonna be your best buddy the first time you chill but I've got a pretty good track record given the # of bartenders I am actually friends with. As in, they invite me places off hours and after hours.
03-06-2019 05:26 AM
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jbkunt2 Offline
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RE: Early 30s losing friends and going Solo abroad
Fortis' advice is bang on.

Bartenders tend to be social types and often are pretty interesting to talk to. However, I would say I'm talking more about in the US where it's a pretty legit profession where you can make good money through tips.

In the UK, it's mostly a job for 18 year old kids and Eastern European immigrants.

In places like Thailand, even in the expat pubs they will be Thai so maybe not exactly the familiar banter you were looking for.
03-07-2019 10:41 AM
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yankeetravels Offline
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RE: Early 30s losing friends and going Solo abroad
Maybe this is a me thing but I've rarely trusted a bartender enough to fully let loose in front of one. But I tend to look at them as up-sellers so I don't trust interactions with them to be genuine. I tend to prefer to try to find other lone wolf customers. I'm young but old school with solo bar interaction. Have met some very interesting people in my travels just passing through and sitting in a bar by myself, sometimes talk for hours with people I just met for both game and non-game purposes.

I don't agree with Black Ceasar about it being easy to meet people everywhere. Some places people will be polite but not really go deeper with an interaction. There are some locations where it might be worse to be a traveler. For example in America, no one gives a shit about foreigners. They don't tend to get welcomed with open arms. Language barrier can make this difficult too abroad. As for Americans abroad, I have been to places where people are openly curious and others that no one gave a shit that I was American, arguably almost looking at me in disdain for it. My point is it's not a guarantee to have an advantage being the foreigner.

For making friends, I honestly think the forum and other hobby groups like this are great places to meet like-minded people. Some places it's a bit easier to find that than others.

As far back as I could remember, I always wanted to be a player.

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03-07-2019 11:02 AM
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WomenLuvDeez Offline
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RE: Early 30s losing friends and going Solo abroad
Use tinder to pipeline dates beforehand and also maximize your couch surfing profile as I've made a lot of good friends overseas on that and also finding facebook groups for expats in your area that sometimes put things up about meetups and stuff. I've gone abroad solo for my first time 3-4 years back and it was amazing. Have fun bro an use up all the knowledge on this forum for your trip.

"For each man must learn to live within the citadel of himself."
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(This post was last modified: 03-17-2019 07:52 PM by WomenLuvDeez.)
03-17-2019 07:52 PM
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thedonald Offline
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Post: #21
RE: Early 30s losing friends and going Solo abroad
I've wondered about this, do the people you meet abroad tend to be similar in interests? I.e redpill, self improvement, game ect?

Or do you tend to be the only one in the group?
08-01-2019 07:26 PM
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Hombre de hielo Offline
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RE: Early 30s losing friends and going Solo abroad
There's a survey that says around the age of 25, we start losing 'friends'... Google search you think!
08-03-2019 02:32 AM
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MaceTyrell Offline
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Post: #23
RE: Early 30s losing friends and going Solo abroad
26 and losing friends.
08-03-2019 07:36 AM
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rishboy77 Offline
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Post: #24
RE: Early 30s losing friends and going Solo abroad
Use showaround.com when traveling solo to meet locals.

I have no have used the site successfully in over 20 different countries

https://twitter.com/pyellow
08-03-2019 08:18 AM
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SilentOne Offline
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RE: Early 30s losing friends and going Solo abroad
You just got to make new friends who have the same interests in the activity you enjoy partaking in. In the past, as kids growing, we were forced to be in a closed environment so that made it easier to get with like minded friends.

I haven't thought about moving abroad entirely solo, but travelling solo to multiple places may still be an interesting option. It would be nice if you spoke more than one language while traveling.
08-03-2019 09:33 AM
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