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The No More Adultery Thread
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Polniy_Sostav Offline
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The No More Adultery Thread
Today , I took a very strong decision.
I will commit to my wife and try to follow as much as possible catholic values.

I am married for 5 years and have 3 kids with a wonderful wife. Of course like in every couple we sometimes have ups and down but real love starts when you have kids at young age and when passion has gone.

I am now 33 , and before to meet my wife I had minimal interaction with women. Before to gain some self-confidence and become rather attractive in many ways , I have had my share of rejections and humiliations , which have affected me more than I thought.

The last 2-3 years , a part of my life was dedicated to talk to women online and then meet them. At first , it was simply to make sure I have more self-confidence and improve my social skills , and have the pleasure not to be petrified and scared like I was in my past. Quite naturally , I have connected with a few of these women.

This lead a few times to cheating , to having extra-marital affairs and flirts of any sort , encouraging me to continue and to seek for more all the time. Success calls success , and even though I have always been aware of the immorality of such adventures , in an arrogant way , I have always thought that I can control it and that i am in full control.

In a way I am , my wife cannot imagine I did this , and I have no left no trace of my various crimes , so I have kept her next to me and my family is not in danger. The goal is not even to please myself , i am led by a feeling of anger . My goal was not to connect with women for the pleasure of enjoying women , it was to punish women for all the harm they did when I was younger. Vengeance for decadence , to have an intercourse with a feminist or an attractive girl who would have rejected me a decade ago was almost a goal in life.

I think I have no excuse now , I have compensated the sexual misery of my youth , and every type of cheating is just plain wrong . One could say that we are not made to be monogamous ? Probably . But I need Christ in the center to help me and to make me a better man.

I have taken a few decisions meant to help me :

1- Uninstalled and deleted every evil applications / websites such as Tinder , Badoo , etc

2- Blocked every woman I had an adventure or flirt with from my whatsapp/viber etc ( Being totally honest , there is one I haven't blocked because we have a lot of affection for each other and she is mature enough to understand my choice and move into friendship without bad intentions) . There are many who would just laugh at my choice or get more interested in me if i reject them , due to the illogical nature of women , it is better to block them.

3-Stopping any type of "pervert" attitude , such as taking hidden pictures of women's ass in the street or use foul language to describe women , such as "I would like to fuck her " , "she should suck my dick" etc... Not only this is disrespectful (and somehow we all know women are reducing themselves to this , being not married etc) but conditions my brain to have sex on my mind all the time.

4- Keeping conversations with women formal and professional without any sort of sexual escalation . Not saying it happens a lot , but should I feel some sort of attraction I will simply look for having as less contact as possible with her.

5 - Dedicate all my free time to my wonderful wife and to my 3 wonderful kids and being a role model for them , but also for other men/colleagues/friends , to inspire people and delicately spread catholic lifestyle around me like " fecund sap" instead of annoying people with proselytism.


Later this afternoon , as I am back from a trip , I will use the airport chapel for what I will consider an official absolution. It will be my first real and authentic attempt to pray and to communicate with God and ask for his forgiveness.

I would like to thank E.Michael Jones in particular , for his impressive work which contributed to me going back to Catholicism. He is the main reason (besides Roosh and many people on this forum) why I am on my way to becoming a better man. He should clearly be canonized.


If any other married forum member is on the same page , let's use this thread to help each other. Adultery is very vicious and addictive , temptation is everywhere in the street and online , but hopefully we will win this fight.

Let's all be knights without fear and beyond reproach.
08-01-2019 12:45 AM
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MrLemon Offline
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RE: The No More Adultery Thread
This is a good decision. If you continue cheating you WILL get caught. Don't even believe for 1 second it won't happen.

When that happens it will destroy your wife's trust in you and will potentially rip your family and children apart. You will burn in a hell of your own guilt, knowing that you and you alone hurt your loving family. You think you feel bad now? You've barely scratched the surface of the pain this can cause. I am not joking.

I'm not judging you. All we men face this problem. But only you have the power to stop this addiction. Focus your passion on your career. Build your life. Build rooms on your house. Build a great community of fellow men, and become a man of success and good reputation. Become more educated. Teach, teach, teach your children to strive for great things. These things will feed you and fill your soul with deep.joy and feeling of worth. Cheating on your wife will only feed your soul with cheap junk, like eating cheap sugar candy, that will poison your soul.
08-01-2019 01:40 AM
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BlackFriar Away
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RE: The No More Adultery Thread
One thing you should know is that when you ask for forgiveness and you truly repent. Whatever you did is done and over with. Let it go. If you beleive in God, then you have to beleive in Satan. That is one of the biggest thing the devil does: gets people to beleive something with thoughts or suggestions. People think the devil walks around with a baseball bat and hits you over the head to influence your thinking. But the easiest way to get some one to beleive something is with a thought. Just one thought can sometimes change the entire course of your life.
(This post was last modified: 08-01-2019 01:44 AM by BlackFriar.)
08-01-2019 01:44 AM
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nixtnext Offline
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RE: The No More Adultery Thread
You've made a good decision. I've never understood how guys who cheat on their views respect themselves, not to mention bringing diseases back to your family, which is sacred. A man needs a moral center and to be able to regulate his impulses in order to be a man.
08-01-2019 02:50 AM
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Vladimir Poontang Offline
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RE: The No More Adultery Thread
If you can keep it under control, I see nothing wrong with flirting, and even hanging out with other girls. Maybe you could train your mind to get satisfaction out of merely getting a girl's number. That way you can still get a sense of "yeah, I've still got it" without going further.

That's not how we do things in Russia, comrade.

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(This post was last modified: 08-01-2019 05:16 AM by Vladimir Poontang.)
08-01-2019 05:14 AM
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John Dodds Offline
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Post: #6
RE: The No More Adultery Thread
(08-01-2019 02:50 AM)nixtnext Wrote:  You've made a good decision. I've never understood how guys who cheat on their views respect themselves, not to mention bringing diseases back to your family, which is sacred. A man needs a moral center and to be able to regulate his impulses in order to be a man.

You're assuming we're all Christians.
No rules about cheating for Buddhists or Atheists.
08-01-2019 07:28 AM
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SilentOne Offline
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RE: The No More Adultery Thread
Not a bad idea to stop cheating.

I don't know if I would just cut off all flirtatious contacts with females though. If and when your wife decides to leave you for whatever reason, you will be crushed and hopeless.

Your game will drastically slip if you just stop using it altogether.
08-01-2019 10:41 AM
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RE: The No More Adultery Thread
(08-01-2019 10:41 AM)SilentOne Wrote:  Not a bad idea to stop cheating.

I don't know if I would just cut off all flirtatious contacts with females though. If and when your wife decides to leave you for whatever reason, you will be crushed and hopeless.

Your game will drastically slip if you just stop using it altogether.

On a higher level... everyday situations are basically Game concepts like creating rapport... and emanate attractive energy during conversations. No need to be actively seducing females for that. Just getting a cup of coffee, or going to the store when having Game have an aura of seduction all by themselves.

I would also suggest to the OP the option of possibly a 3some or swinging if the temptation is just too strong. I admit at first these option might disgust some... but they definitely are better than cheating as far I'm concerned! Gets the evil out... and you get to do the dirt with your woman... so you get to revel in this secret together.
08-01-2019 11:46 AM
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MrLemon Offline
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RE: The No More Adultery Thread
In my opinion, the "no flirtation" rule is a great rule.

Just stop flirting. Totally.

There is a practical reason for this. You must now convert your personality away from the "young man's approach" to the world. You must become the mature man, the father and protector. Women are no longer prey. They are now your responsiblity to protect.

Think of it this way: when you see a pretty girl, as a unmarried man, your immediate response is to desire her for yourself. But as a father, Uncle, or patriarch, your immediate response should be to find her a husband.

Also, do you have a daughter? OK when she gets to be about 14 she's going to develop into a woman. She's probably going to have girlfreidnds who come over to your house. You must now protect all those teenage girls from harm, and you will expect THEIR fathers to protect YOUR daughter from harm.

You can't continue to flirt with women and do all the above things.

Of course you still need game. You need more game than ever! But not to get or flirt with pussy. Now you are running game to protect your little family from the massive and never-ending evil of the world.

You are no longer the wolf. You are now the most fierce guard dog in the world. Be that guard dog.
(This post was last modified: 08-02-2019 01:13 AM by MrLemon.)
08-02-2019 01:11 AM
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Solitaire Offline
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RE: The No More Adultery Thread
(08-01-2019 07:28 AM)John Dodds Wrote:  
(08-01-2019 02:50 AM)nixtnext Wrote:  You've made a good decision. I've never understood how guys who cheat on their views respect themselves, not to mention bringing diseases back to your family, which is sacred. A man needs a moral center and to be able to regulate his impulses in order to be a man.

You're assuming we're all Christians.
No rules about cheating for Buddhists or Atheists.

'Tis true, to an extent. As a Buddhist, my morality guides me and instructs me in daily life especially in regards to how to treat other people. I do try to treat loved ones dearly; I also try my best to treat strangers with kindness and compassion unless shown unambiguously that I should do otherwise.

To say that Buddhists have no rules is to misunderstand utterly.
08-02-2019 03:11 AM
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Polniy_Sostav Offline
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RE: The No More Adultery Thread
Thanks everyone for the support , especially Mr. Lemon.
I will politely reject the idea of having a threesome , I don't think this is a normal behavior , especially when you try to put Jesus in the center of your life.

The most noble thing in my new decision , is that I do this exactly at my peak (33 yo). I feel like a cycling using doping (just like everyone else) and getting ready for a big tour. But revealing he doped before to get the glory of winning the Tour de France and not after.

I would also like to thank Cardinal Robert Sarah for his book "God or Nothing" for being such an inspiration. A man from a 5% christian country , from a remote village of Guinea, dedicated his life to Jesus until reaching the position of Cardinal. In comparison , i am just a mere pawn in the mega-machine.
08-02-2019 04:38 AM
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EndsExpect Offline
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RE: The No More Adultery Thread
(08-01-2019 12:45 AM)Polniy_Sostav Wrote:  The goal is not even to please myself , i am led by a feeling of anger . My goal was not to connect with women for the pleasure of enjoying women , it was to punish women for all the harm they did when I was younger. Vengeance for decadence , to have an intercourse with a feminist or an attractive girl who would have rejected me a decade ago was almost a goal in life.

I think I have no excuse now , I have compensated the sexual misery of my youth , and every type of cheating is just plain wrong

This is just brutal honesty. I don't think I've ever seen a guy admit to these feelings... ever.

I have some very similar problems myself. I don't entirely know how to even understand it or control it. In some ways I think I'm just broken. I don't really have a feeling of anger towards women... I think I just want to feel special or something.
08-03-2019 01:01 PM
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Polniy_Sostav Offline
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RE: The No More Adultery Thread
(08-03-2019 01:01 PM)EndsExpect Wrote:  
(08-01-2019 12:45 AM)Polniy_Sostav Wrote:  The goal is not even to please myself , i am led by a feeling of anger . My goal was not to connect with women for the pleasure of enjoying women , it was to punish women for all the harm they did when I was younger. Vengeance for decadence , to have an intercourse with a feminist or an attractive girl who would have rejected me a decade ago was almost a goal in life.

I think I have no excuse now , I have compensated the sexual misery of my youth , and every type of cheating is just plain wrong

This is just brutal honesty. I don't think I've ever seen a guy admit to these feelings... ever.

I have some very similar problems myself. I don't entirely know how to even understand it or control it. In some ways I think I'm just broken. I don't really have a feeling of anger towards women... I think I just want to feel special or something.

Ironically , I also wanted to feel special. I ve recently met a woman who made me feel special. We like each other as humans , but had an unprecedented sexual connection. At the point where I was shaking numerous times and feeling electricity almost constantly , before , after and during the act. She admitted that she felt the same magic (without the shaking) and that this is a dangerous game to play , as she is also married.

She is the only woman i haven't ghosted. I have explained to her my ideological shift and she has taken it positively.

This kind of "magic" was maybe a godly sign that I got what I think I deserved ( a few magical nights) and that now I have no excuse to not fully focus on my family.
It was a very hard-earned encounter , as I had to deal with a lot of awful failures and difficult women (and sometimes ugly or fat lol) before this. So much energy wasted.

I think leaving on a "great note" is probably the best way to leave.
(This post was last modified: 08-03-2019 01:54 PM by Polniy_Sostav.)
08-03-2019 01:52 PM
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RE: The No More Adultery Thread
(08-01-2019 07:28 AM)John Dodds Wrote:  
(08-01-2019 02:50 AM)nixtnext Wrote:  You've made a good decision. I've never understood how guys who cheat on their views respect themselves, not to mention bringing diseases back to your family, which is sacred. A man needs a moral center and to be able to regulate his impulses in order to be a man.

You're assuming we're all Christians.
No rules about cheating for Buddhists or Atheists.

Buddhism actually has strict moral requirements, and atheists can do whatever they want since they're basically doomed anyway.
08-04-2019 12:32 PM
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roberto Offline
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RE: The No More Adultery Thread
Paging Montrose for his opinion...

They who would give up essential Liberty, to purchase a little temporary Safety, deserve neither Liberty nor Safety- Benjamin Franklin, as if you didn't know...
08-05-2019 06:32 AM
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RE: The No More Adultery Thread
(08-05-2019 06:32 AM)roberto Wrote:  Paging Montrose for his opinion...

My opinion in this matter is largely against the rules of the forum, so I won't express it. I can just say that in my personal value system, sex has no moral value; it is neither god nor bad. And I certainly commend my esteemed compatriot Sostav for his resolution to avoid the sin of Lust. I suspect that he is not renouncing that much, but it's still commendable. It is easier for a camel to pass through a needle's eye than for an international playboy to enter the kingdom of God.

His point about wanting to get revenge against women is interesting. Anger against women is certainly an important driver in masculine sexual desire, and as long as it is limited and controlled, I think that it's healthy. It's difficult to forgive women for the desire they inspire in us. Still, I think it's possible to be motivated by kindness and compassion and also have plenty of sex with plenty of women. Obviously it requires a certain discipline.

Incidentally I'm currently reading Cardinal Sarah's last book (The Day is Far Spent) and even for a sinner like me, it is rather inspirational. He doesn't pull his blows against the globo-homo agenda.
08-05-2019 07:23 AM
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thatnowrite Offline
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RE: The No More Adultery Thread
Hi,

This thread is interesting to me since I am in the adultery shit hole myself. My marriage is not easy, I do deeply love my wife and i am sure she loves me as well, but our life situation is non-conventional due my work involving a lot of traveling (I am always away).

Some months ago I met a younger women and although we said our affair would last only a predetermined amount of time, feelings got involved quite fast and the arrangement became invalid. It is not about the sex anymore; it is now that no matters what I do, I will be hurting somebody and ultimately myself. I was feeling alone (more lonely than horny actually) and did not try to avoid spending time with the younger women doing girlfriend-boyfriend kind of stuff when abroad. I knew better, but I could not help. I know what you would probably say: blue pill beta and so on, well.. not every man is able to cold-blood handle when a much younger lady who could be a 9 in his personal scale is willing to cooked for him, clean his flat, plan funny things to do after work, with great intimacy, intellectually good connection, etc.

I spoke with a very good friend, and it looks like it is a very common situation. People just don't mentioned it. He has been in an affair for like seven years with a beautiful young woman who is waiting for him to get a divorce (of course he is not even thinking about divorcing his wife). His advice is: you have a pretty wife at home, and a wonderful girlfriend at your second location, what is the problem?

The problem is I do not like the person I am right now. I do not sleep well. My wife is a good person, in case I divorce her she will not destroy my life, even if she finds out about the affair (in our country there are not horrible rape-divorce laws anyway); I would not put my hands on fire for the younger lady just yet, but I think no matter what I decide she will not try to force me to do anything.

It is sad, but it looks adultery to be the rule rather than the exception. And it is nothing new.

I just want to go back in time, and be loyal to my wife.
(This post was last modified: 08-05-2019 02:32 PM by thatnowrite.)
08-05-2019 02:25 PM
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RE: The No More Adultery Thread
If you repent and ask for forgiveness....your sin is gone. Nothing is too hard to get redemption for. The price is already paid. All you have to do is reach out and do your part and seek forgiveness. God has already done his part. God is really waiting on you. A lot of the guilt people feel is actually pride and vanity. Thinking that your situation is too great. God does not know what you have done! How can you ever be forgiven or get out of some situation? What you look like today is not who you can be tomorrow.

Like I said, God is waiting on you.

People think of God in the natural. Get out of the natural and into the supernatural.
08-05-2019 10:02 PM
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RE: The No More Adultery Thread
(08-05-2019 10:02 PM)BlackFriar Wrote:  If you repent and ask for forgiveness....your sin is gone. Nothing is too hard to get redemption for. The price is already paid. All you have to do is reach out and do your part and seek forgiveness. God has already done his part. God is really waiting on you. A lot of the guilt people feel is actually pride and vanity. Thinking that your situation is too great. God does not know what you have done! How can you ever be forgiven or get out of some situation? What you look like today is not who you can be tomorrow.

Like I said, God is waiting on you.

People think of God in the natural. Get out of the natural and into the supernatural.

Problem is though that even if he seeks forgiveness, can he change his behavior and not mess around on his wife anymore? Probably not. Most guys that do this stuff can't and won't ever stop until they get caught and lose everything. Then they'll cry about how unfair it all is. Forgiveness is pointless without a complete change in behavior. Ask the children of these situations how they feel about it.
08-05-2019 10:11 PM
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RE: The No More Adultery Thread
Good choice.

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08-06-2019 05:33 AM
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RE: The No More Adultery Thread
(08-03-2019 01:52 PM)Polniy_Sostav Wrote:  Ironically , I also wanted to feel special. I ve recently met a woman who made me feel special. We like each other as humans , but had an unprecedented sexual connection. At the point where I was shaking numerous times and feeling electricity almost constantly , before , after and during the act. She admitted that she felt the same magic (without the shaking) and that this is a dangerous game to play , as she is also married.

Since you initiated this discussion I've been thinking about this. Women want to feel sexy and attractive. They post a picture of their ass on instagram and get 10,000 likes and then they know guys like it.

For me, I can count on my hands the number of times women on my level have truly made me feel attractive. The only feedback mechanism I've ever been able to get is sex... and it's a horrible metric because women have sex for TONS of different reasons.

Now, this isn't an issue for guys like my cousin. Women were all over him from a very young age. Now he is fat and old, but still has that confidence level. In my developmental years, the girls treated me like I was radioactive waste. I believe as a result I need to prove my own value to myself. I really think this is the same thing women go through, but it's simply much, much easier for them due to male thirst in the west. I think this is why I meet so many Western women who are basic bitches, yet think themselves Helen of Troy, yet I meet asian women who are gorgeous yet believe themselves to be mediocre.

(08-05-2019 07:23 AM)Montrose Wrote:  His point about wanting to get revenge against women is interesting. Anger against women is certainly an important driver in masculine sexual desire, and as long as it is limited and controlled, I think that it's healthy. It's difficult to forgive women for the desire they inspire in us. Still, I think it's possible to be motivated by kindness and compassion and also have plenty of sex with plenty of women. Obviously it requires a certain discipline.

How do you walk through life as a player driven by kindness and compassion? This is really a question I have been asking myself. The anger of my youth is fading, and it leaves me feeling... odd.

I struggle with this topic actually. I simply don't have any women that want to just have sex with me. They all want something more. Sometimes it's money, sometimes a relationship... but always something more. How do I engage them sexually, yet ignore their agenda and do this from a position of kindness and compassion? In my experience eventually they all fall in love with me at some point.
08-09-2019 10:56 AM
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RE: The No More Adultery Thread
(08-09-2019 10:56 AM)EndsExpect Wrote:  I struggle with this topic actually. I simply don't have any women that want to just have sex with me. They all want something more. Sometimes it's money, sometimes a relationship... but always something more. How do I engage them sexually, yet ignore their agenda and do this from a position of kindness and compassion? In my experience eventually they all fall in love with me at some point.

I had girl fall in love after a few weeks, when I treated her as a strictly platonic friend. There is no escaping it. Wink

The female sex infatuation however is a given - Oxytocin does that. This is why casual sex is now banned from this forum.
08-09-2019 11:24 AM
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RE: The No More Adultery Thread
Yes, some women want a relationship or money. But in my experience the vast majority of them will happily have sex with a guy who tells them stories, listens to their stupid stories, provides them with affection and attention, and is only half decent in bed. With kindness and compassion.
08-09-2019 11:54 AM
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Post: #24
RE: The No More Adultery Thread
(08-09-2019 11:54 AM)Montrose Wrote:  Yes, some women want a relationship or money. But in my experience the vast majority of them will happily have sex with a guy who tells them stories, listens to their stupid stories, provides them with affection and attention, and is only half decent in bed. With kindness and compassion.

I agree, but how do you extricate yourself from such a situation without causing... damage?

My only guess so far is to present them with a flaw so serious they can't imagine things working out. However, I've never tried it.
08-09-2019 12:37 PM
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Post: #25
RE: The No More Adultery Thread
Girls like to have sex with kind men but it doesn't mean that they fall in love immediately. At some point they want to move on.
08-09-2019 04:27 PM
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