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Mid-Stage 20’s Inceldom—Is there any hope for me?
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Travola Offline
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Post: #1
Mid-Stage 20’s Inceldom—Is there any hope for me?
I have been very fortunate thus far in my life, just last weekend I went for a several hours long joyride on my snowmobile, and got a high that I haven’t felt in at least one year, more possibly two years. Things are looking up; despite that, I am currently unemployed, at least a thousand or so miles away from family, in my mid 20’s, and still an incel. I am told, countless times, “you are a good-looking guy”. Anyway, more on that later.

Life has not gone well with women. My last girlfriend was in high school. I was very bookish thereafter, and never really rebounded. At the time, that was of little concern because I knew sooner or later there would be something lasting, with a corresponding boost of self-confidence that would usher-in a new era of my life. Then, I was just worried about a career.

Despite this obvious personal failing, in almost all other domains of my life, I have lived by a no-regrets philosophy. A good example of this was last month, where I quit my job in management in front of all my managers, told them to f***-off with some levity, and walked-off the job with 0 notice. Such were the circumstances of this job, it was the only response that was warranted, given their poor treatment of me, and their own incompetence. This moment alone did more for me and my confidence, then any advice, formal training, schooling, or other past experiences. From now on, I know that I am not the sort of person to meekly follow orders or waste my life away in a corporate grind.

What happened, I guess, was some switch flipped in my head, and I decided I no longer needed them, much less respected them. And to hell about not having a next job lined up- through sheer grit and determination I had found that job by walking-in off the street and gotten hired on the spot.

I’ve buried the lede here, but at this point, I am completely lost, clueless, confounded with women right now. What are my options; keeping in mind I’ve prayed, gone to church, been the nice guy, a “beta”, been a good manager and not flirted with my female employees even though they’ve shown clear interest, etc. Have fired up dating programs in the past and only gotten bites from fat women. Not played the social media game, snapchat, Instagram, facebook.

Honestly I think I need to make a personal goal to flirt with a girl at least once a day. I’m not a bar guy, and probably have no place being in a bar. I also think I don’t have a place in a small town anymore either, there are just not many people here I vibe with, despite the fact I snowmobile, shoot guns and fish.

Frustrated to the point now that I may just forget about women permanently.
(This post was last modified: 02-08-2020 04:17 PM by Travola.)
02-08-2020 04:17 PM
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mehdreamer Offline
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Post: #2
RE: Mid-Stage 20’s Inceldom—Is there any hope for me?
(02-08-2020 04:17 PM)Travola Wrote:  I have been very fortunate thus far in my life, just last weekend I went for a several hours long joyride on my snowmobile, and got a high that I haven’t felt in at least one year, more possibly two years. Things are looking up; despite that, I am currently unemployed, at least a thousand or so miles away from family, in my mid 20’s, and still an incel. I am told, countless times, “you are a good-looking guy”. Anyway, more on that later.

Life has not gone well with women. My last girlfriend was in high school. I was very bookish thereafter, and never really rebounded. At the time, that was of little concern because I knew sooner or later there would be something lasting, with a corresponding boost of self-confidence that would usher-in a new era of my life. Then, I was just worried about a career.

Despite this obvious personal failing, in almost all other domains of my life, I have lived by a no-regrets philosophy. A good example of this was last month, where I quit my job in management in front of all my managers, told them to f***-off with some levity, and walked-off the job with 0 notice. Such were the circumstances of this job, it was the only response that was warranted, given their poor treatment of me, and their own incompetence. This moment alone did more for me and my confidence, then any advice, formal training, schooling, or other past experiences. From now on, I know that I am not the sort of person to meekly follow orders or waste my life away in a corporate grind.

What happened, I guess, was some switch flipped in my head, and I decided I no longer needed them, much less respected them. And to hell about not having a next job lined up- through sheer grit and determination I had found that job by walking-in off the street and gotten hired on the spot.

I’ve buried the lede here, but at this point, I am completely lost, clueless, confounded with women right now. What are my options; keeping in mind I’ve prayed, gone to church, been the nice guy, a “beta”, been a good manager and not flirted with my female employees even though they’ve shown clear interest, etc. Have fired up dating programs in the past and only gotten bites from fat women. Not played the social media game, snapchat, Instagram, facebook.

Honestly I think I need to make a personal goal to flirt with a girl at least once a day. I’m not a bar guy, and probably have no place being in a bar. I also think I don’t have a place in a small town anymore either, there are just not many people here I vibe with, despite the fact I snowmobile, shoot guns and fish.

Frustrated to the point now that I may just forget about women permanently.

I lurked a lot on Incel forums, even though I wasn't one.

I consider myself a VolCel( Voluntary Celibate), a bit like Roosh.

First, you have to identify what is the cause of you so called "Inceldom"
Is it purely look/physical?
Or is it a mental state( mentalCel, like incels like to call themselves)

I advise to not use Tinder/Instagram, nor Bars to meet with girls.

Just get hobbies where your put yourself in a position where you will meet decent women.
02-08-2020 05:05 PM
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Travola Offline
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Post: #3
RE: Mid-Stage 20’s Inceldom—Is there any hope for me?
(02-08-2020 05:05 PM)mehdreamer Wrote:  
(02-08-2020 04:17 PM)Travola Wrote:  I have been very fortunate thus far in my life, just last weekend I went for a several hours long joyride on my snowmobile, and got a high that I haven’t felt in at least one year, more possibly two years. Things are looking up; despite that, I am currently unemployed, at least a thousand or so miles away from family, in my mid 20’s, and still an incel. I am told, countless times, “you are a good-looking guy”. Anyway, more on that later.

Life has not gone well with women. My last girlfriend was in high school. I was very bookish thereafter, and never really rebounded. At the time, that was of little concern because I knew sooner or later there would be something lasting, with a corresponding boost of self-confidence that would usher-in a new era of my life. Then, I was just worried about a career.

Despite this obvious personal failing, in almost all other domains of my life, I have lived by a no-regrets philosophy. A good example of this was last month, where I quit my job in management in front of all my managers, told them to f***-off with some levity, and walked-off the job with 0 notice. Such were the circumstances of this job, it was the only response that was warranted, given their poor treatment of me, and their own incompetence. This moment alone did more for me and my confidence, then any advice, formal training, schooling, or other past experiences. From now on, I know that I am not the sort of person to meekly follow orders or waste my life away in a corporate grind.

What happened, I guess, was some switch flipped in my head, and I decided I no longer needed them, much less respected them. And to hell about not having a next job lined up- through sheer grit and determination I had found that job by walking-in off the street and gotten hired on the spot.

I’ve buried the lede here, but at this point, I am completely lost, clueless, confounded with women right now. What are my options; keeping in mind I’ve prayed, gone to church, been the nice guy, a “beta”, been a good manager and not flirted with my female employees even though they’ve shown clear interest, etc. Have fired up dating programs in the past and only gotten bites from fat women. Not played the social media game, snapchat, Instagram, facebook.

Honestly I think I need to make a personal goal to flirt with a girl at least once a day. I’m not a bar guy, and probably have no place being in a bar. I also think I don’t have a place in a small town anymore either, there are just not many people here I vibe with, despite the fact I snowmobile, shoot guns and fish.

Frustrated to the point now that I may just forget about women permanently.

I lurked a lot on Incel forums, even though I wasn't one.

I consider myself a VolCel( Voluntary Celibate), a bit like Roosh.

First, you have to identify what is the cause of you so called "Inceldom"
Is it purely look/physical?
Or is it a mental state( mentalCel, like incels like to call themselves)

I advise to not use Tinder/Instagram, nor Bars to meet with girls.

Just get hobbies where your put yourself in a position where you will meet decent women.

Can't be my looks, nothing wrong with me. Probably that I just lack confidence.

Not sure what hobbies I'd be looking at taking up.
02-08-2020 05:08 PM
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kel Online
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RE: Mid-Stage 20’s Inceldom—Is there any hope for me?
(02-08-2020 05:08 PM)Travola Wrote:  Not sure what hobbies I'd be looking at taking up.

This is a problem, both in regards to your OP and in general.

Focus on you for a while. Figure out who you are, what you value, what you want your day-to-day to look like and how you want to feel.

Get your house in order and the girl problem will largely solve itself (provided you're not truly incel-tier physically, and provided you understand the first few girls you attract are unlikely to be LTR material but that's okay).

Right now, based on what you've said, trying to include relationships in everything else is just distracting and adding chaos. Kinda like how people will make a thousand new years resolutions and get overwhelmed. Don't try to learn Chinese and play the piano and do a handstand pushup and read a book a week and...

For now, focus on you feeling good in your skin. That'll end up being health, job, etc. but focus on one right now, then move on to the next.
02-08-2020 05:21 PM
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Travola Offline
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RE: Mid-Stage 20’s Inceldom—Is there any hope for me?
(02-08-2020 05:21 PM)kel Wrote:  
(02-08-2020 05:08 PM)Travola Wrote:  Not sure what hobbies I'd be looking at taking up.

This is a problem, both in regards to your OP and in general.

Focus on you for a while. Figure out who you are, what you value, what you want your day-to-day to look like and how you want to feel.

Get your house in order and the girl problem will largely solve itself (provided you're not truly incel-tier physically, and provided you understand the first few girls you attract are unlikely to be LTR material but that's okay).

Right now, based on what you've said, trying to include relationships in everything else is just distracting and adding chaos. Kinda like how people will make a thousand new years resolutions and get overwhelmed. Don't try to learn Chinese and play the piano and do a handstand pushup and read a book a week and...

For now, focus on you feeling good in your skin. That'll end up being health, job, etc. but focus on one right now, then move on to the next.

I mean, apart from taking up organized sports, like I used to be involved in, and getting back into my music/ art, generally doesn't seem like I have that many options for extroverted hobbies.
02-08-2020 05:25 PM
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tylerdurden1993 Offline
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RE: Mid-Stage 20’s Inceldom—Is there any hope for me?
Are you in a position to travel to South East Asia?

And if you are would you be willing to go?
02-08-2020 05:31 PM
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tr1cky Offline
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RE: Mid-Stage 20’s Inceldom—Is there any hope for me?
I cant understand the reluctance towards bars. As if "good girls" (lol, if that even exists, yes including your unicorns in EE) dont ever go to bars to have drinks with friends and possibly meet new people. You can even find virgins there. Look for the quiet shy awkward girls with a group of females.
02-08-2020 05:49 PM
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kel Online
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RE: Mid-Stage 20’s Inceldom—Is there any hope for me?
(02-08-2020 05:25 PM)Travola Wrote:  I mean, apart from taking up organized sports, like I used to be involved in, and getting back into my music/ art, generally doesn't seem like I have that many options for extroverted hobbies.

Don't worry about them being extroverted for now, just focus on finding things you're passionate about or which improve your life and dedicate yourself to that for a while. You're in your 20s, you have ages ahead of you to deal with women, now is your time to deal with you.

In any event, the things you named are more than sufficient, and there's a community around literally every activity that exists nowadays, so you needn't worry about it being "extroverted". When the time comes to focus on women you'll already have an interesting life and be and interesting person and have organically grown a circle around yourself (circle of friends, associates, people you casually know - a social network in the real sense of the term).

I'm not saying there's anything wrong with your goal to talk to one girl a day, that's fine and is a classic technique. I'm just suggesting for now you don't be so goal oriented on the woman front. Focus on yourself, focus on making today the best it can be and tomorrow better, get stronger smarter and happier with yourself to start.

Just my two cents.
02-08-2020 06:29 PM
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redbeard Offline
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RE: Mid-Stage 20’s Inceldom—Is there any hope for me?
First - are you a member of a church?

Quote:I’ve buried the lede here, but at this point, I am completely lost, clueless, confounded with women right now. What are my options; keeping in mind I’ve prayed, gone to church, been the nice guy, a “beta”, been a good manager and not flirted with my female employees even though they’ve shown clear interest, etc. Have fired up dating programs in the past and only gotten bites from fat women. Not played the social media game, snapchat, Instagram, facebook.

The bolded text tells me that you went to a church a few times, but you're not an actual member.

The harsh reality is that there's nothing "to do" but wait.

One of the best ways to meet a woman who shares your values is to meet one in church. Specifically, a church which represents your values down to a T.

Unfortunately, meeting a girl isn't a matter of how many approaches you do. Instead, you have to wait for the right woman to come around. There are a lot of women in each parish, and it's impossible to meet them all in just a few months. If you become a member of a church, you will eventually meet more of the women available. On top of that, someone else might hook you up with a girl you would've otherwise missed.

Secondly, this quote tells me you're not ready for a serious relationship:

(02-08-2020 04:17 PM)Travola Wrote:  Despite this obvious personal failing, in almost all other domains of my life, I have lived by a no-regrets philosophy. A good example of this was last month, where I quit my job in management in front of all my managers, told them to f***-off with some levity, and walked-off the job with 0 notice. Such were the circumstances of this job, it was the only response that was warranted, given their poor treatment of me, and their own incompetence. This moment alone did more for me and my confidence, then any advice, formal training, schooling, or other past experiences. From now on, I know that I am not the sort of person to meekly follow orders or waste my life away in a corporate grind.

Did you get another job? Will you be able to support a woman financially? This attitude might feel good and get you internet points, but if I was a woman, I would run away at hearing this story.

"Every saint has a past, every sinner a future."
02-16-2020 11:44 AM
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bucky Offline
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RE: Mid-Stage 20’s Inceldom—Is there any hope for me?
(02-08-2020 05:49 PM)tr1cky Wrote:  I cant understand the reluctance towards bars. As if "good girls" (lol, if that even exists, yes including your unicorns in EE) dont ever go to bars to have drinks with friends and possibly meet new people. You can even find virgins there. Look for the quiet shy awkward girls with a group of females.

I second the advice about shy and awkward girls. I was never an incel when I was single, but I had lengthy dry spells and my "notch count" was never as high as the three-figure numbers guys would routinely claim on the old version of this forum. I focused mainly on girls who were bookworms or went to church and were a bit on the nerdy side. They had their issues but overall they were pleasant and I have good memories of them. One benefit is that I never developed the disdain for women that at least used to be common here.

Sure, AWALT is true but that doesn't mean that all women are alike, so I'd say go for the shy, nerdy types. Not sure how many of those there are out there who aren't enormously fat anymore, though. I was single a long time ago.

Feminism in ten words: "Stop objectifying women! Can't you see I've hit the wall?" -Leonard D Neubache
02-16-2020 01:30 PM
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Captain Gh Offline
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RE: Mid-Stage 20’s Inceldom—Is there any hope for me?
I am in no way shape or form telling you that the Player lifestyle is desirable, but I fully believe proper Game knowledge is a MUST, no matter what your relationship Goals may be

The Forum has shifted towards being Christian & pursuing relationship geared towards Marriage... and for some reason, I feel didcussing Game tactics to be incompatible with this shift (maybe I'm wrong & just an old school member who knows) but search for knowledge that will show you how to create attraction & Rapport mainly during Day to Day activities.1 Search & you'll find what you need!

Now most importantly... There's a book you need to read IMMEDIATELY called "No. More Mr. Nice Guy by Robert A Glover! When you Rage Quit a Quality Position like that... without a Plan...there's some issues you need to acknowledge... The book will show you that.

If the book doesn't work quite help you like that... That's a sign you needing to go deeper... And the book called Absent Father & Lost Sons by Guy Corneau that will point these out to you.

Work on your issues first (by buying these 2 Books), but make no mistake about it: Just talking to "Shy Girl" & being yourself around them CAN'T Work since you DON'T know How!

Good Self Care + Game Knowledge => will you to the Promise Land you desire! Good Luck!!
02-16-2020 03:00 PM
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Elmore Offline
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RE: Mid-Stage 20’s Inceldom—Is there any hope for me?
(02-08-2020 05:31 PM)tylerdurden1993 Wrote:  Are you in a position to travel to South East Asia?

And if you are would you be willing to go?

He is only in his twenties, and sounds like just lacks a bit of confidence around women. Why should he be considering throwing the towel in on getting a girl of his own race, and going and playing on easy mode?

It's this kind of piss-weak thinking why the West is in decline.
02-17-2020 08:01 AM
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RE: Mid-Stage 20’s Inceldom—Is there any hope for me?
(02-17-2020 08:01 AM)Elmore Wrote:  
(02-08-2020 05:31 PM)tylerdurden1993 Wrote:  Are you in a position to travel to South East Asia?

And if you are would you be willing to go?

He is only in his twenties, and sounds like just lacks a bit of confidence around women. Why should he be considering throwing the towel in on getting a girl of his own race, and going and playing on easy mode?

It's this kind of piss-weak thinking why the West is in decline.

Let's be honest, the women aren't making it easy either. I believe in taking responsibility for relationships in life, but it takes two to tango.
02-17-2020 08:11 AM
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RE: Mid-Stage 20’s Inceldom—Is there any hope for me?
(02-17-2020 08:11 AM)monsquid Wrote:  
(02-17-2020 08:01 AM)Elmore Wrote:  
(02-08-2020 05:31 PM)tylerdurden1993 Wrote:  Are you in a position to travel to South East Asia?

And if you are would you be willing to go?

He is only in his twenties, and sounds like just lacks a bit of confidence around women. Why should he be considering throwing the towel in on getting a girl of his own race, and going and playing on easy mode?

It's this kind of piss-weak thinking why the West is in decline.

Let's be honest, the women aren't making it easy either. I believe in taking responsibility for relationships in life, but it takes two to tango.

As much as we liked to say that American women are far easier than EE, SEA, and Latina girls on the old version of the forum, I'll admit that I didn't do very well with them outside of the relatively small religious culture I grew up in. I eventually gave up and just went for European and Latin women exclusively and I've never really regretted it.

Not saying OP shouldn't develop game and try his luck with American women if he wants to, but If anything I get the impression that American women have gotten even worse since I was single, so the return on his effort might be pretty low. If OP is like I was as a single man (bad game, bookish and religious interests) putting a lot of effort into American women might not be worth it, so maybe looking overseas would be for him.

When people would ask me why I always went for foreign girls, if I was being honest I'd say that European women are intellectual, Latinas are spiritual, and American women are neither. If I wasn't being honest, I'd say that foreign women can't tell I'm weird, although there was a lot of truth to that too.

Feminism in ten words: "Stop objectifying women! Can't you see I've hit the wall?" -Leonard D Neubache
(This post was last modified: 02-17-2020 11:46 AM by bucky.)
02-17-2020 11:44 AM
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Augustus_Principe Offline
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RE: Mid-Stage 20’s Inceldom—Is there any hope for me?
You should see being an "incel" as an opportunity to grow in virtue. Instead of being angry that you cannot have casual, sterile sex with a 6/10 that thinks of herself as a 9, is used up, and doesn't want kids, be grateful that God has guided you to avoid these women. E michael jones mentions how God works throughout history and he gives examples of how God takes evil and turns it into good.

In this case, God has saved millions of men from throwing their chastity away to broken women. View this as an opportunity to grow spiritually (join the Catholic Church) and grow your virtues. You're an "incel"? Great. Now you will only expect equally chaste women when a woman comes into your life. Be grateful that you did not throw your life away to the endless pursuit of chasing tail and instead, kept pure and chaste, whether by choice or not. Reframe your mind, look towards God, learn about the 4 cardinal virtues and grow spiritually. Take this opportunity to become a better person that God wants you to be and not grovel in your own misery of unable to throwing your chastity away to broken women just for the sake of a 5 second orgasm that will not produce children.

http://www.newadvent.org/cathen/03343a.htm
(This post was last modified: 02-18-2020 09:48 AM by Augustus_Principe.)
02-18-2020 09:47 AM
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Bury Zenek Offline
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RE: Mid-Stage 20’s Inceldom—Is there any hope for me?
(02-18-2020 09:47 AM)Augustus_Principe Wrote:  You should see being an "incel" as an opportunity to grow in virtue. Instead of being angry that you cannot have casual, sterile sex with a 6/10 that thinks of herself as a 9, is used up, and doesn't want kids, be grateful that God has guided you to avoid these women. E michael jones mentions how God works throughout history and he gives examples of how God takes evil and turns it into good.

In this case, God has saved millions of men from throwing their chastity away to broken women. View this as an opportunity to grow spiritually (join the Catholic Church) and grow your virtues. You're an "incel"? Great. Now you will only expect equally chaste women when a woman comes into your life. Be grateful that you did not throw your life away to the endless pursuit of chasing tail and instead, kept pure and chaste, whether by choice or not. Reframe your mind, look towards God, learn about the 4 cardinal virtues and grow spiritually. Take this opportunity to become a better person that God wants you to be and not grovel in your own misery of unable to throwing your chastity away to broken women just for the sake of a 5 second orgasm that will not produce children.

http://www.newadvent.org/cathen/03343a.htm

I know the nature of this forum has shifted but this is just insane advice for someone who doesn't seek to be a monk or a priest. Get out of your bubble man.

Scorpion: "When the government and the media tell you that you should be very afraid, you should automatically be skeptical. When the government and media tell you that you should be very afraid and that you need to give up your rights and freedoms to stay safe, you should dig in your heels and resist. Because that's when they give the game away. That's when you can be sure that your fear is being weaponized against you."

COVID-19 – One Gigantic Western Pharma Rip-Off
(This post was last modified: 02-18-2020 09:58 AM by Bury Zenek.)
02-18-2020 09:55 AM
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Rob Banks Offline
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RE: Mid-Stage 20’s Inceldom—Is there any hope for me?
↑ I haven't been following this thread, but in what world is Augustus's advice "insane"?

Sex outside of marriage, and sex within marriage with contraception, are wrong. So is masturbation.

The whole reason priests and monks are celibate is because it makes them stronger. If you are celibate (and obviously that includes no porn or jerking off), it means you are in control of your mind and you are not dominated by animalistic urges.

I have trouble with this myself. I am in a situation (discussed extensively in another thread) where I may have to go months or even years without having sex. In the meantime, it is hard to avoid things like masturbation and lusting after women I meet in day-to-day life.

Indulging my lust and other desires/vices is what got me into a bad situation to begin with. If I hadn't done that, I would be happily married with kids right now.

When I first became aware of Roosh and red pill ideas, I believed that it was only bad for women to sleep around and be slutty, but it was OK (even good) if a man did it. "A key that opens many locks is a master key, but a lock that is opened by many keys is a shitty lock," I would tell myself.

While it is true that it's worse for a woman to sleep around than for a man to do it, both are actually bad. Lust and fornication are bad in all circumstances.

Augustus is 100% right.
(This post was last modified: 02-18-2020 10:28 AM by Rob Banks.)
02-18-2020 10:27 AM
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Post: #18
RE: Mid-Stage 20’s Inceldom—Is there any hope for me?
You can follow your convictions all you want but at some point that is going to have to intersect with the real world and the sorry state of the romantic marketplace.

There was an old thread before the changeover talking about "white triad" alphas (or maybe it was another term). But it was the saintly archetype as epitomized by Richard Chamberlain in The Thorn Birds.

[Image: 151db6aa-e4c9-4c3a-b4c8-ee709a7cd690_1.d...nBg=ffffff]

Women today don't want this. They want Christian Grey and Patrick Bateman from American Psycho.

It's easy to say well, hey, I don't WANT women who want guys like this, and that's fine, but by filtering all of them out, what are you going to be left with? That's been an open question ever since the shift in the forum.

It's a simple case of demographics.

You can be the man you want to be all you want but if you are running across the grain of larger society you're going to go down a lonely road.
02-18-2020 01:00 PM
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Augustus_Principe Offline
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Post: #19
RE: Mid-Stage 20’s Inceldom—Is there any hope for me?
(02-18-2020 09:55 AM)Bury Zenek Wrote:  
(02-18-2020 09:47 AM)Augustus_Principe Wrote:  You should see being an "incel" as an opportunity to grow in virtue. Instead of being angry that you cannot have casual, sterile sex with a 6/10 that thinks of herself as a 9, is used up, and doesn't want kids, be grateful that God has guided you to avoid these women. E michael jones mentions how God works throughout history and he gives examples of how God takes evil and turns it into good.

In this case, God has saved millions of men from throwing their chastity away to broken women. View this as an opportunity to grow spiritually (join the Catholic Church) and grow your virtues. You're an "incel"? Great. Now you will only expect equally chaste women when a woman comes into your life. Be grateful that you did not throw your life away to the endless pursuit of chasing tail and instead, kept pure and chaste, whether by choice or not. Reframe your mind, look towards God, learn about the 4 cardinal virtues and grow spiritually. Take this opportunity to become a better person that God wants you to be and not grovel in your own misery of unable to throwing your chastity away to broken women just for the sake of a 5 second orgasm that will not produce children.

http://www.newadvent.org/cathen/03343a.htm

I know the nature of this forum has shifted but this is just insane advice for someone who doesn't seek to be a monk or a priest. Get out of your bubble man.

So it's insane advice to reframe his situation into a more positive one? I thought that was red-pill/masculinity 101, or am I wrong? Did at any point in my post insinuate that she should stay celibate for the rest of his life? No.

OP is feeling this pressure because our society has made it that if you're a man and you're not pulling women, you should feel inadequate, you're not a man, when that couldn't be further from the truth. The ability to fornicate with dozens of women does not equal masculinity. Being masculine should be based on your ability to successfully get a traditional women who will bear your children, your ability to care for them, your piety as well as guiding them spiritually, among other things that i've already mentioned in my previous post (ie. controlling your passions)

obviously OP is facing a bigger issue as "being an incel" only accounted for a paragraph of his post. However, my earlier point still stands. I have a family member in a similar situation (but with a job), great guy, good job, early 20s, but unable to get a vapid IG/western wh*re through no fault of his own, just the way the society is. I told him something similar to what I said before: Start focusing on building yourself up (in this case, OP needs to get a job), start saving your money and focus your power on your ability to care for a family in the future. When you do this, your confidence will automatically go up, then women will see this and you will be in the position to pick and choose who you court. Sleeping with countless women isnt going to help you do any of that and it actually hurts you in the process.

Roosh already stated Game is useless to land a Good, pious, woman, so what im saying not beyond the pale. But perhaps it is for those that remain secular/atheist:

https://www.rooshv.com/game-is-for-fallen-women

No one said getting a good woman in today's day and age was going to be easy, but
after 3 failed LTRs, over a dozen ONS, the last thing I will do is lead other men astray and tell them how to fornicate with broken women as I and many other got nothing to show for it.
(This post was last modified: 02-18-2020 03:45 PM by Augustus_Principe.)
02-18-2020 03:21 PM
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22qwert22 Offline
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Post: #20
RE: Mid-Stage 20’s Inceldom—Is there any hope for me?
(02-18-2020 03:21 PM)Augustus_Principe Wrote:  after 3 failed LTRs, over a dozen ONS, the last thing I will do is lead other men astray and tell them how to fornicate with broken women as I and many other got nothing to show for it.

I guess the forum has changed for the better. I am in a similar situation. 25 have a job. Some money saved 10-15k. Have a car. Live with my parents. Go to the gym regularly 3 times a week and do strong lifts. Have been slowing trying to go everyday.

But After University have met no girls. I often hang out with my friends on the weekends. And they usually bring their girlfriends along. But that's about it. I know people suggest joining "groups" hobbies but to be honest I don't think a lot of chicks are into fixing cars. I know know there are unicorns. Seems like I am just coasting through life with the occasional drama at work or with parents.

Note I don't drink smoke or do drugs. Pretending to be a man of the lord. Would be nice to find a religious chick she doesn't need to be nun but someone who will thank the lord for the day he has given.
(This post was last modified: 02-18-2020 04:04 PM by 22qwert22.)
02-18-2020 04:03 PM
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Captainstabbin Offline
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Post: #21
RE: Mid-Stage 20’s Inceldom—Is there any hope for me?
(02-08-2020 04:17 PM)Travola Wrote:  Honestly I think I need to make a personal goal to flirt with a girl at least once a day.

Make that 10 and your problem will be solved in a month or less. Numbers, bro - always be approaching.

I had a fraternity brother who wasn't good looking and was short and fat. Dude always had a date. He would literally get out the sorority directory and start dialing numbers down the list until a girl said yes. The girls said they could hear the phones ringing one after another down the hall.

He had a goal and no shame about going after it.
02-19-2020 04:46 PM
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bucky Offline
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Post: #22
RE: Mid-Stage 20’s Inceldom—Is there any hope for me?
(02-19-2020 04:46 PM)Captainstabbin Wrote:  
(02-08-2020 04:17 PM)Travola Wrote:  Honestly I think I need to make a personal goal to flirt with a girl at least once a day.

Make that 10 and your problem will be solved in a month or less. Numbers, bro - always be approaching.

I had a fraternity brother who wasn't good looking and was short and fat. Dude always had a date. He would literally get out the sorority directory and start dialing numbers down the list until a girl said yes. The girls said they could hear the phones ringing one after another down the hall.

He had a goal and no shame about going after it.

I'd suggest keeping notes on your approaches and what you think went well, as well as what you could have done better. Look at it as something that might take a while, but also don't be surprised if you have success earlier than you think.

Feminism in ten words: "Stop objectifying women! Can't you see I've hit the wall?" -Leonard D Neubache
02-20-2020 11:22 PM
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Travola Offline
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Post: #23
RE: Mid-Stage 20’s Inceldom—Is there any hope for me?
Background:

Bad job, felt crushed all the time, although I was a manager. Competent but green. High stress environment. Killed the chance at building a social life because of the schedule. Any chance to score was dashed because I worked all nights and all weekends. Felt drained every week. Drank somewhat on days off to forget about the situation.

The root cause as I see it: female supervisor, and also the male supervisor above her. Rumors of something going-on between them. Walking into their conversations and feeling like I was missing out on the in-jokes (classic symptom of office affairs). Anyway, I am very disagreeable, ambitious, self-critical, and analytical to a fault. Felt like being on the grade school playground and getting snubbed by all the other kids, every day.

This all came to a head, keep in mind I was doing the job competently, when they tried to blame me for something i didn't do. Saw the writing on the wall, I was not going to die on this hill. I told them exactly what is wrong with the way things operate, to one of the higher ups in the company and quit on the spot. I know I'm not getting stellar reviews from these guys, but they can go huff some glue.

Was this all planned out by me? Yes, barely. Quitting is a good feeling, I know I can always walk away regardless of my paycheck, or the work environment. Some mentors told me I did the right thing.

Those close to me say my confidence is back past half year or so. I feel that way.

//

As to the future, now that I'm not in that boat anymore, I will find a new job, and be more ambitious about it this time. Will also enjoy the change of pace to work on personal development more.

Not gotten far with women, but I think maybe now is the time to forget about them, and cultivate relationships and make some gym goals. Still haven't found a church, I want to be part of an orthodox one.

That said, sucks being an incel. I say it's one of the main reasons I still lack some self-confidence that other, more normal, men have. My attitude about american women is largely negative, but as another poster said, it takes two to tango.

//

Something I've been doing lately, don't know if it's good or not, is small-talking to complete strangers. It's helping with my social anxiety a lot.
02-21-2020 10:40 PM
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kel Online
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Post: #24
RE: Mid-Stage 20’s Inceldom—Is there any hope for me?
(02-21-2020 10:40 PM)Travola Wrote:  Not gotten far with women, but I think maybe now is the time to forget about them, and cultivate relationships and make some gym goals.

Yes, focus on yourself right now, since that's what you have the most control over. Get healthy, get your job/education in order, get your social (non-sexual) life in order (which, frankly, is a subset of "Get healthy"), etc.



(02-21-2020 10:40 PM)Travola Wrote:  Something I've been doing lately, don't know if it's good or not, is small-talking to complete strangers. It's helping with my social anxiety a lot.

Definitely a good thing. Do it just for the experience, without any expectation of anything and be as zen as possible in completely detaching yourself from the "results". Do it just to do it and get used to that and be proud of yourself for having done it.
02-21-2020 11:15 PM
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Travola Offline
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Post: #25
RE: Mid-Stage 20’s Inceldom—Is there any hope for me?
(02-21-2020 11:15 PM)kel Wrote:  
(02-21-2020 10:40 PM)Travola Wrote:  Not gotten far with women, but I think maybe now is the time to forget about them, and cultivate relationships and make some gym goals.

Yes, focus on yourself right now, since that's what you have the most control over. Get healthy, get your job/education in order, get your social (non-sexual) life in order (which, frankly, is a subset of "Get healthy"), etc.



(02-21-2020 10:40 PM)Travola Wrote:  Something I've been doing lately, don't know if it's good or not, is small-talking to complete strangers. It's helping with my social anxiety a lot.

Definitely a good thing. Do it just for the experience, without any expectation of anything and be as zen as possible in completely detaching yourself from the "results". Do it just to do it and get used to that and be proud of yourself for having done it.

Yeah, will be working on cutting, before starting bulking.

Will continue the small-talking and being completely outcome independent.
02-22-2020 11:41 AM
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