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RE: NoPorn / NoFap Google Group - For Those Who're Serious - redbeard - 09-29-2018 08:23 AM

The difference now is that I've climbed Mt. Everest. I know it's possible. I know what it takes to reach the finish line. All I have to do is duplicate it.

That's why it's important for beginners to take this one day at a time, and avoid being over critical of themselves.

If you've been masturbating every day for your entire adult life, just making it two days without jacking off is a major accomplishment.

The goal should be to get better day by day. Going cold turkey is great, but it usually doesn't work.

Challenge yourself to go longer each time.

Start with a day. Then 3 days. Then a week. Then a month. Then 90 days. Then a year.

Rome wasn't built in a day!


RE: NoPorn / NoFap Google Group - For Those Who're Serious - Mikestar - 09-29-2018 11:07 AM

Reached 16 days, the biggest contributor is that I’m sleeping in the same room as my flatmate and my girl flew over so I bust as many nuts as possible with her during that period (I probably won’t get sex for a while). Now I just need to keep it under control and strive till New year and beyond


RE: NoPorn / NoFap Google Group - For Those Who're Serious - Rorogue - 09-30-2018 11:15 AM

I am currently about 38 days without fapping, and 14 days without Orgasm.

I am trying to get to about 42-60 days free from any activity.

The only problem I'm finding now is my testosterone feels like it's going down (after 14 days without orgasm)

I didn't lift weights today when I was meant to, and I don't feel intensity.

Does anyone have at solutions for resparking the testosterone (without sexual activity)?


RE: NoPorn / NoFap Google Group - For Those Who're Serious - Crash_Bandicoot - 09-30-2018 02:53 PM

I started NoFap more than 2 weeks ago and have failed everyday. Many times I've failed more than once a day.

Yesterday I went on a fap marathon. I couldn't stop myself.

I need to get out of the kind of environment that allows me to fap in the first place. And that means not idly sitting in my bed. Going forward, I'm going to try to go to work and then after work head directly to a cafe, class, or anything as long as I can stay away from my home and my bed until bedtime.


RE: NoPorn / NoFap Google Group - For Those Who're Serious - chrisblackbeard - 09-30-2018 05:37 PM

(09-30-2018 11:15 AM)Rorogue Wrote:  I am currently about 38 days without fapping, and 14 days without Orgasm.

I am trying to get to about 42-60 days free from any activity.

The only problem I'm finding now is my testosterone feels like it's going down (after 14 days without orgasm)

I didn't lift weights today when I was meant to, and I don't feel intensity.

Does anyone have at solutions for resparking the testosterone (without sexual activity)?

Why are you deliberately avoiding "organic" orgasms? I think that's a recipe in itself for Low-T.


RE: NoPorn / NoFap Google Group - For Those Who're Serious - redbeard - 09-30-2018 06:46 PM

(09-30-2018 02:53 PM)Crash_Bandicoot Wrote:  I started NoFap more than 2 weeks ago and have failed everyday. Many times I've failed more than once a day.

Yesterday I went on a fap marathon. I couldn't stop myself.

I need to get out of the kind of environment that allows me to fap in the first place. And that means not idly sitting in my bed. Going forward, I'm going to try to go to work and then after work head directly to a cafe, class, or anything as long as I can stay away from my home and my bed until bedtime.

Do work in a coffee shop. You'll avoid masturbating and also meet cute chicks. Win-win!


RE: NoPorn / NoFap Google Group - For Those Who're Serious - modernist - 09-30-2018 07:17 PM

I didn't masturbate for more than 6 months, many years ago before this nofap trend was even a thing, just for the personal challenge.

And... I felt no difference when it came to interacting with women. Nor with my self steem. Nor with basically anything else in my life.

Actually it made my sex performance slightly worse as I was coming earlier if I didn't have sex in some time, compared to when I was masturbating on the regular.

Just my personal experience.


RE: NoPorn / NoFap Google Group - For Those Who're Serious - Rorogue - 09-30-2018 08:02 PM

@Chrisblackbeard

I have to abstain totally for about 42-60 days, for medical reasons

I was already interested in abstaining before then, though


RE: NoPorn / NoFap Google Group - For Those Who're Serious - redbeard - 09-30-2018 08:04 PM

(09-30-2018 07:17 PM)modernist Wrote:  I didn't masturbate for more than 6 months, many years ago before this nofap trend was even a thing, just for the personal challenge.

And... I felt no difference when it came to interacting with women. Nor with my self steem. Nor with basically anything else in my life.

Actually it made my sex performance slightly worse as I was coming earlier if I didn't have sex in some time, compared to when I was masturbating on the regular.

Just my personal experience.

Then you weren't addicted, plain and simple. The fact that you can easily go 6 months, "just for the personal challenge," proves this.


RE: NoPorn / NoFap Google Group - For Those Who're Serious - YoungBlade - 09-30-2018 10:22 PM

So, after being on nofap and noporn for months, I decided to check out some porn to see if there were still signs of addiction.

Doesn't even make me hard anymore. Nudes from my girls? Sure. Physically seeing gorgeous women? Naturally.

Artificial dopamine-inducing simulated sexual stimulation? Not even a stirring.

Gods be praised, one more step towards an all-natural life.


RE: NoPorn / NoFap Google Group - For Those Who're Serious - redbeard - 10-03-2018 09:03 AM

(09-30-2018 10:22 PM)YoungBlade Wrote:  So, after being on nofap and noporn for months, I decided to check out some porn to see if there were still signs of addiction.

Doesn't even make me hard anymore. Nudes from my girls? Sure. Physically seeing gorgeous women? Naturally.

Artificial dopamine-inducing simulated sexual stimulation? Not even a stirring.

Gods be praised, one more step towards an all-natural life.

Great to hear! Thanks for sharing.

Fellas - this is what you can expect from disconnecting your brain from porn.

Personally, I became a firm believer in NoFap after seeing how it improved my relationships. My first extended runs (30 days+) were done when I had a serious girlfriend, and our sex (and connection) both became better when I quit the porn.


RE: NoPorn / NoFap Google Group - For Those Who're Serious - Mikestar - 10-04-2018 04:57 AM

I’m falling back to the addiction, I’m on day 25 and I edged to porn yesterday and today for 15 mins. Is it better to bust and then restart or just stop edging?


RE: NoPorn / NoFap Google Group - For Those Who're Serious - redbeard - 10-04-2018 06:22 AM

(10-04-2018 04:57 AM)Mikestar Wrote:  I’m falling back to the addiction, I’m on day 25 and I edged to porn yesterday and today for 15 mins. Is it better to bust and then restart or just stop edging?

That's your decision. Only you can decide what counts as "breaking."


RE: NoPorn / NoFap Google Group - For Those Who're Serious - Mikestar - 10-04-2018 07:47 AM

Back to day 1, I edged too much and I think it’s better to restart rather than to get aroused and stop, in that state I get major brain fog. I’m now striving to beat my record last month of 25 days


RE: NoPorn / NoFap Google Group - For Those Who're Serious - Belgrano - 10-04-2018 08:01 AM

(10-04-2018 04:57 AM)Mikestar Wrote:  I’m falling back to the addiction, I’m on day 25 and I edged to porn yesterday and today for 15 mins. Is it better to bust and then restart or just stop edging?

Stop watching porn.
Stop edging.

Are you addicted to quickly rubbing one out or are you addicted to porn?
You know the answer.

If you really feel the strong, intense need to clean the pipes and there's no way to overcome it anymore, just do it quickly and without porn, and then move on with your life without thinking too much about it.

In that case it's basically like taking a shit or clipping your nails.
Pure maintenance. Annoying, pretty much a waste of time, but necessary.


However, odds are that you're actually not physically uncomfortable.

You're just bored.

Go do something with your life. Get a girlfriend, make some new friends and get a social life, get a new hobby, lift some weights or do sports, learn something useful, improve yourself. I think most guys who jerk off too much do so because they are bored out of their minds, they have nothing else going on in their lives, no success, nothing that excites them, nothing that gives them a nice dopamine hit. So they turn to porn and choking their dick until it's dead.


I'm also wondering when guys are going to find out that they are framing the whole thing in a completely wrong way.
I hate those words, "relapse" and "restart". Everyone's always worrying about that to the point where it's frankly absurd.

It's basically a negative feedback loop.
"I went 20 days. Relapsed. I went 35 days. Back to the start. This time I managed to do 12 days. Aaaand I relapsed."

You are always losing.
NoFap as most guys practice it has no positive reinforcement, no positive feedback loop (actually it does, but not the one you want).
It's just fail after fail after fail.
You are setting yourself up for failure the moment you start it. You actually start to feel more like a loser than you did before you went on NoFap.
It results in regular doses of self-imposed feelings of failure and dejection. Guess what this does to your body's hormonal balance.

But maybe you are really disciplined and determined, and only "relapsed" after 6 months? Shouldn't you feel proud and happy and accomplished?
Well, congratulations, but guess what, it's yet another fail, so back to the start you go, feeling like a loser again.

Where does it end? Where's the progress? When do you win this game?
You can't.


I posted it earlier in this thread, and I'll say it again, just for good measure.
Porn addiction and compulsive masturbation are the symptom, not the cause.
If you are fighting the symptom, you will always lose in the long run.
You have to identify the cause to heal the disease.
Find out what's wrong with your life and fix it.

That's the ugly little secret of NoFap.
It's not self-improvement at all.
It's mental masturbation for people who want to feel like they are doing something, without really making an effort (notice the pattern). And then in the end they can all hug each other after they inevitably "relapse", maybe create some drama or earn pity for their sob story, get some support and engagement and words of encouragement before they start again, and enjoy the fuzzy feeling of not being alone, being part of a group, of having other people care about them and believing in them.

So the only positive emotional feedback you'll ever get on NoFap is when you fail.
Hm, I wonder what this incentive leads to?

And then after that short spike of positivity you go back to feeling like a loser and the whole vicious circle starts again.


So stop being a bitch, and start to fix your life.
Stop counting days, stop treating this like a challenge.
NoFap is a game, a game that never ends, a game that you can't win once you are in.
So the only way to win this game is not to play.

Improve yourself and improve your life, and the urge to watch porn or jerk off will gradually decrease as you discover other, much more sustainable and satisfying ways to get that dopamine hit.


RE: NoPorn / NoFap Google Group - For Those Who're Serious - redbeard - 10-04-2018 08:52 AM

I agree with the sentiment of your post, but with a few additions:

1. Tracking your days is a great way to stay motivated, and remind yourself of what you're trying to accomplish.

2. Like you mention, the greatest way to defeat porn & masturbation is to build a life where you don't have the time, energy, or need for it.

3. Resetting to zero days does not necessarily mean "you failed," and it doesn't mean that "you haven't improved." What it does mean is that you slipped up, that's all. It's important to look critically at the resets and figure out why you cracked, so that you can improve in the future.

Ignoring your resets is ignorant. There's a lot you can learn from your mistakes.


RE: NoPorn / NoFap Google Group - For Those Who're Serious - kosko - 10-06-2018 10:02 AM

I think three months now...

Reset...

Day one.


RE: NoPorn / NoFap Google Group - For Those Who're Serious - Player_1337 - 10-08-2018 10:30 PM

This shit is a lot easier when you're having consistent sex with a variety of women.


RE: NoPorn / NoFap Google Group - For Those Who're Serious - Rhyme or Reason - 10-09-2018 06:55 PM

I'm committing to 90 day NF. I got 3 days right now.


RE: NoPorn / NoFap Google Group - For Those Who're Serious - redbeard - 10-09-2018 07:11 PM

(10-08-2018 10:30 PM)Player_1337 Wrote:  This shit is a lot easier when you're having consistent sex with a variety of women.

Yes and there's two key takeaways from this:

1. The goal should be having sex as much as possible, this shouldn't have to be said.

2. Despite that, there's more value in a sex-less "reset" than one filled with sex.

It's important to watch how your body responds and judge it yourself.


RE: NoPorn / NoFap Google Group - For Those Who're Serious - Rhyme or Reason - 10-09-2018 08:22 PM

^ I agree with point #2 especially.

It's easy to go without a shitty alternative to sex when you're already getting sex. Doesn't say much about your willpower in that case.

The more I live the more I realize delaying all gratification seems to be the best way to get the most out of life regardless of context. NF is just one example. The times i've gone one or two months with NF and then said "fuck it, just once" and broke the streak I found myself giving into temptation much more in all other areas of life, quite quickly. I guess there's a reason it's NOfap and not "once in a while" fap.


RE: NoPorn / NoFap Google Group - For Those Who're Serious - PakMan - 10-10-2018 10:07 PM

I still fap on a daily/semi-daily basis usually to porn, but there have been periods throughout the year when I went days without it and even in that short period of nofapping I noticed a big difference in my libido and game with real women. Nice to see there are dudes who can attest to genuine benefits of dropping it altogether. Really glad I found this thread. Now I'm going to really try and abstain permanently starting tonight.

Next step after this will be to quit smoking! Any advice on that one (or is there already a thread on that; sorry guys, I'm new to the forum)?


RE: NoPorn / NoFap Google Group - For Those Who're Serious - Rorogue - 10-11-2018 02:02 AM

I am about 49 days nofap, although I have had some sexual activity with women in that time.

Nofap and the spiritual aspect of abstinence is overtaking the red pill for me as the most important aspect of my life as far as women goes.

Today I have exuded a glow that a couple of women in my work environment reacted to. Objectively speaking, I looked terrific.

Abstinence from over eating is next most important.

For men who gravitate towards the spiritual side, I think Nofap is fantastic


RE: NoPorn / NoFap Google Group - For Those Who're Serious - Captain Gh - 10-11-2018 03:47 AM

(10-04-2018 08:01 AM)Belgrano Wrote:  
(10-04-2018 04:57 AM)Mikestar Wrote:  I’m falling back to the addiction, I’m on day 25 and I edged to porn yesterday and today for 15 mins. Is it better to bust and then restart or just stop edging?

Snip

You're just bored.

Go do something with your life. Get a girlfriend, make some new friends and get a social life, get a new hobby, lift some weights or do sports, learn something useful, improve yourself. I think most guys who jerk off too much do so because they are bored out of their minds, they have nothing else going on in their lives, no success, nothing that excites them, nothing that gives them a nice dopamine hit. So they turn to porn and choking their dick until it's dead.


Snip

I really really like your post as someone who's a Big Fan of Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP), but to simplistically boil down Fapping to the bolded part of your Post... Hmmm got an issue with that! If simple boredom & lack of motivation were the cause of extreme Fapping... this thread wouldn't be 169 Pages Long. I myself struggle with Daily food buying... regardless of what's in my fridge... and spent a lot in the process. And I'm still Fit so it's no overeating issue! Outside of this bolded part, I mostly agree with your message. And I would also strongly suggest to all the guys who are struggling with this to give NLP a try!

As per it's NLP's Main tenet, all behaviors we do are done for a positive reason at THE primal level… but then it’s the consequences of that Behavior Messing Up Our Lives. Maybe this will help out you fapping guys who struggle mightily with this! I felt the same way with my eating! One thing’s for sure… all you guys relying on Will Power, like Rorogue mentioned, are sure to lose. Will Power treats the symptoms, but not the causes aka the Frames justifying this behavior to yourself on a Primary level. Until these frames “Pop”, you entire being will continue to think fapping is great on a primary sensory level, even though consciously you deeply want to stop doing it because of it’s destructiveness. Our brain is truly our greatest ally… and our powerful enemy depending on where we stand!

After thinking about this for the Gazilion Time, and getting so-so results with NLP, I angrily said to myself that it makes no sense! I stated to myself that It was as if it was built in for me to physically obtain daily food! Not only to eat like everybody, but to physically obtain it! That was my Ha Ha moment! Ever since I broke this down in details as per NLP Guidelines... it's been going pretty good! I simply have to consciously dissociate the frame of Nourishment & Physically Buying Food! On top of the conventional stuff when it comes to emotional eating, my nervous system somehow linked buying food Daily (which I broke down to Hunting for myself) to living & surviving!

Yeah I know this sounds absolutely retarted... but the bottom line is I've spent $8.17 in the last 2 days with no will power, while I previously had to Will Power myself like crazy, and wrestling back & forth to keep thing down under $30 each for the last 2 days before! Even when I read the books I was like why would anyone think like this… and here’s my Issue, which sounds even more ridiculous! But anyway if you guys wanna check it out the book in question It’s Mind Lines: Lines for Changing Minds by Michael Hall. Normally would like to Amazon… but not anymore!

TL;DR Bolded Part is too simplistic! Will Power won’t work for your Fapping Issues if they are excessive. Somehow a positive frame in your body links fapping to pleasure! To Break the Link Up, give NLP a shot since it currently works wonder for me!


RE: NoPorn / NoFap Google Group - For Those Who're Serious - Rorogue - 10-11-2018 04:14 AM

@Captain
I agree, when triggered go do something
I am triggered right now (only slept 3hrs),
I either need to read a novel and go to the gym