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Dealing with the death of your pets - HeyPete - 07-04-2014 04:07 PM

I know many of you have gone through this before, but I haven't since I was a little kid and didn't know any better.

What did you do to help deal with the situation?

Last year at this time I had two dogs and two cats. Today, after putting my last buddy to sleep I have none.

My black lab died after Christmas and my pit bull mix and two cats have all died since May 30. So, I lost all three in just over a month.

I'm pretty devastated.

Any tips, things to read, would help. Much appreciated.


RE: Dealing with the death of your pets - Yeti - 07-04-2014 04:13 PM

I'm sorry for your loss.

Adopt another pet and you will probably feel better.


RE: Dealing with the death of your pets - ryanf - 07-04-2014 04:17 PM

It might sound cold, but the absolute best way is to get another pet. The sting will still be there, but it alleviates the stress by giving you something else to focus your attention on.


RE: Dealing with the death of your pets - AnonymousBosch - 07-04-2014 04:21 PM

There's no quick fix. You need to hurt to learn to carry the burden of loss without buckling under. Just know that, in time, the pain lessens, so ride it out.

There'll always be some degree of sadness, but you become tough enough to still be happy regardless.

It's part of being a man. Strength, brother.


RE: Dealing with the death of your pets - Baldwin81 - 07-04-2014 04:22 PM

It is a sad thing when your pets die. I'm sure this is compounded by the fact that you've had three go recently and haven't dealt with it since you were a kid.

Pets are not human but they are your friends and are a part of your family. I've been through the same over the with some good dogs (labs). This sounds simple (and possibly easier said than done if you're very sad over it), but you think back to the good times you've shared with the dogs or cats and also realize nobody - human or animal - gets out of this thing alive.

If you're taking this hard I can safely assume that you gave your animals as good of a life as you could and that they enjoyed your company. I hope you can take some solace in that as well. It really does suck but you'll feel better in time. I wish you the best.


RE: Dealing with the death of your pets - Lizard King - 07-04-2014 04:23 PM

This might not help you, but my mother told me: 'pets are a way for children to get used to death'. Because animals have shorter lifespans than humans, children who grow up with animals in the household will at some point have to deal with the death of one of those creatures.

This might be of help: print some photos of your buddy, keep their memory alive. Spend some time on your own reflecting and reminiscing upon what a cool creature they were. Basically go through a grieving process as you would a human, surely they deserve that?


RE: Dealing with the death of your pets - Cheetah - 07-04-2014 04:23 PM

Console yourself with a girl and let her console you for the loss, then get her instead of the pet.


RE: Dealing with the death of your pets - Cheetah - 07-04-2014 04:31 PM

http://www.dogstrust.org.uk/_resources/resources/factsheets09/factsheetcopingwithdeath09.pdf


RE: Dealing with the death of your pets - HeyPete - 07-04-2014 04:39 PM

(07-04-2014 04:31 PM)Cheetah Wrote:  http://www.dogstrust.org.uk/_resources/resources/factsheets09/factsheetcopingwithdeath09.pdf

This is good stuff. Thanks.

Thanks for the kind words and replies. My girl pit mix was a poosy magnet.

I think at one point I had six different girls borrowing her to go jogging in a nearby park (and more than 20-plus over the years, since she was a friendly, docile pit bull mix). She got me laid dozens of times.


RE: Dealing with the death of your pets - nogamenick - 07-04-2014 06:21 PM

Getting a new pet is a good idea. I picked up my cat from a shelter where he had been for a while after having been taken from the street. He had been a stray for a long time they said. It's always hard because as they say: The owner doesn't choose the cat, the cat chooses it's owner. This was true in my case. My cat never seemed to like being around anyone but me. He could be vicious and would often attack any girls I had over when he got the chance. He never once attacked me. Was a sad day when I went downstairs and found him howling in a pool of piss. He suffered a heart attack and no longer had any feeling in the back half of his body. Sucks to seem them that way. Sadly he had to be put down. I held him as they gave him the shot.

I was completely devastated for a while and was completely opposed to the idea of getting a new cat as it felt like I was replacing him. I thought going to the animal shelter just to have a look would be good distraction. Needless to say I picked up another cat. This was about a week after my old cat passed. I still think about my old cat every now and then but I suppose it's normal. Each cat is different and it's ok to miss something you have spent so long with. But looking back I'm glad I had the opportunity to give him a better life than the shelter could. It's important to think about it that way. reflect and be happy.

I'm sorry for your loss man. Hope some of this helps you a bit.


RE: Dealing with the death of your pets - Sawyer - 07-04-2014 06:45 PM

Sorry for your loss.

Time is the only thing that heals something like this. When my dog died I ran out and got another dog from the shelter and it was a mistake. It's hard to see the new dog for who he is because you're constantly looking for the companionship the old dog gave you, and it's never the same. It's hard on the new dog and it's hard on you. You can't relive those times. Cherish them while they are fresh, don't try and replace them or recreate them and let time to its work.

Out of respect for your lost pets, wait until you're ready to get new pets. That's my two cents.


RE: Dealing with the death of your pets - Rigsby - 07-04-2014 09:34 PM

I had a cat I was very close to.

She would come and bother me up on the roof. She would toss around and stay for the whole night. I loved her very deeply. She was a shit load of fun.

I do miss the little minx.

She looked up to me, and I looked after her.


RE: Dealing with the death of your pets - Thug Muffin - 07-04-2014 11:20 PM

I lost both my boxers June of last year. One to cancer and the other jumped out of my parents yard and she was hit by a car. Prior to these two dogs I had a boxer as well that passed away from cancer.

I rescued my dogs from shelter groups and I felt that rescuing more dogs from euthanasia was the best way to honor my pets. If I didn't adopt them when I did who knows what kind of life they would be living. So a week or two after my second boxer passed I started looking for a new dog to adopt.

The new girl I adopted absolutely helped me get through the loss of my dogs. A few weeks after she settled in I got another pit mix and couldn't be happier with them. Each dog is different and unique and I've loved them all. The girl boxer that was hit by a car I loved more then anything and I didn't think I would love another dog like that ever again.

Then I got my male pittie. Absolute goofy retard that I can't get enough of.

Maybe also think about fostering a dog. Plenty of pitbull rescue groups desperately need foster dogs.


RE: Dealing with the death of your pets - Marmite - 07-04-2014 11:34 PM

I don't form emotional bonds to people let alone animals, so cannot empathise. I do however enjoy playing with my brothers German shepherds and cat, but couldn't have animals myself as I consider them to be more of a burden than bringing joy into my life.

If you do decide to get another pet, maybe get something with a longer life span like a parrot. At least that way there is a significant delay before you have to deal with its death.


RE: Dealing with the death of your pets - Windom Earle - 07-04-2014 11:53 PM

Sorry to hear.

I had to give up my two dogs after my divorce.

They went to good homes, and is not as bad as them passing away, but it was pretty heart wrenching.


RE: Dealing with the death of your pets - big poppa - 07-05-2014 01:18 AM

I don't think the answer is to go out and get another pet straight away. I feel like it's kind of a betrayal, like banging a new girl the day after your wife passes.

It's cliche but time heals all wounds. Just remember the good times, you treated your pets very well and gave them a better life than 99.9% of animals on this earth. Take comfort in that


RE: Dealing with the death of your pets - Remington - 07-05-2014 11:56 PM

Life is not easy. Dealing with death is never easy. Everyone needs a grieving period. If you are a single man and you just lost a pet, I feel like that equivocates to losing a best friend. After you adjust to losing your best friend, get yourself a puppy, and raise it. It will help create a strong bond and alleviate the pain you are currently feeling. Keep trucking, brother.


RE: Dealing with the death of your pets - EisenBarde - 07-06-2014 12:11 AM

My family had a big rotation of Animals. When one would die another would join the pack, though not always.

I know a guy that collects strays and has every last one cremated.

Maybe fate is telling you to use the pet shop opener.


RE: Dealing with the death of your pets - speakeasy - 07-06-2014 02:15 AM

Lost my favorite pet of all time a couple years ago right before Christmas. A cocker spaniel. Had a bond with that dog like no other. Truly loved the little guy. I watched him die right in my hands. I believe it was congestive heart failure, he was old as hell. After dropping him off at the place to be cremated, I went back to bed and just cried. I grieved pretty hard for several days. It was very dark, the acute period after you lose them. But a week later, the acute phase was over. It was still sad, but the overbearing grief stage where you can't even smile about anything was over. Within a couple weeks I felt back to normal. Obviously still missed the little guy(and still do a couple years later, would give anything to have him back), but I was feeling normal by then.

Just give it some time. The first week or so hurts like hell.


RE: Dealing with the death of your pets - Conquerer7 - 03-10-2018 06:53 AM

This just happened to me on Thursday. A guinea pig with a heart attack in old age. My father and I found the poor guy lying on his side in his cage still warm but gone. Took him to a vet's I always use. He was passed on to be cremated and they have a great reputation. I've had 8 pets so far and this is different from the crying when you're younger but saddens me more. Perhaps as he is the longest i've had a pet around (7 years). Also, he was adopted.

As I was an only child my parents thought it was important to have pets around the house from when I was about 5. It's been good to see how my girl reacted to this and supporting me. After we came back from the vets she got me a takeaway and just sat and consoled me without saying much. She took me out yesterday to the pet shop as i wanted to see the small animals, bought me some clothes in town, some lunch in the sun and then cooked me dinner. She buys me stuff and cooks often but I really appreciate how she got me out as there was no way I was getting any work done.

I've been fortunate enough to not have any human close to me die apart from when I was very young and can't remember so pets dying has been a good way for me to get used to death when the time comes for a family member or friend.

I'm still sad but feeling so slightly better. The silence and feeling of being the only living thing in your flat during the day will be difficult next week though. No more squeaking and calling. It is sad that the chapter of having animals as a child/teenager/young person with my parents is over. I see some other members have got a pet straight away which I have done before with great success. Seeing the rabbits and guinea pigs yesterday it was tough not to want to enquire about them but at 22 I know I want to focus on other things and definitely have pets again when I am older and also if I have a family. Living rurally with a family while having dogs, cats, small animals and chickens. Never say never though.


RE: Dealing with the death of your pets - Guitarman - 03-10-2018 09:06 AM

I made sure I was present when both my cats were put to sleep. The Siamese several years ago and my Tabby last year. I took them each home and dug a big hole for each one.

I don't mind admitting burying them were the only two times I've teared up in the last ten years. Did that privately though.


^^^^^^ post above^^^^ seven years is a good innings for a Guinea pig. We had those when I was young and they only lasted 3 or 4 years. Perhaps the UK weather is too cold for them.


RE: Dealing with the death of your pets - Syberpunk - 03-10-2018 09:20 AM

The death of an beloved animal is a plum opportunity for a pet shop opener.


RE: Dealing with the death of your pets - Ski pro - 03-25-2018 01:48 PM

For those of you that has had to put a dog down.

The wisdom says when it’s time you will know but I struggle to see when one would see this.

How did you know it was time?


RE: Dealing with the death of your pets - deerhunter - 03-25-2018 01:57 PM

(03-25-2018 01:48 PM)Ski pro Wrote:  For those of you that has had to put a dog down.

The wisdom says when it’s time you will know but I struggle to see when one would see this.

How did you know it was time?

I get pretty attached to my dogs. All the years of accompanying me in the truck, hunting often and being happy to see me add up in your brain. What I have found is that by the time I or many of my friends with their dogs realize that it is "time", it is long past time. When the dog loses it's quality of life and doesn't enjoy it's usual activities then it is "time".


RE: Dealing with the death of your pets - godfather dust - 03-25-2018 02:35 PM

It's hard but I usually spend 2 weeks to a month and get another dog. Dogs aren't replaceable, they all have different personalities but most any dog will offer complete and total loyalty as well as companionship.