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Wife Hunting Abroad - Travesty - 08-22-2015 07:19 PM

Looked through the "Wife" threads some piecemeal stuff about abroad, nothing serious I came across that comes close TravelerKai's China dating thread which is specific to that country and I will most likely use heavily in the future.

I've recently had strong gut feelings that are telling me I need to have a teammate, a real wife, to build a happy home and have at least 2 children with. I haven't felt this way in the past few years. I think my game currently is the best it has ever been. I am very tired of balancing hoes. I have exceeded almost every game fantasy I ever wanted and then some. I have done it without getting a permanent STD and want to keep it that way. I am not nomadic at heart. I love a comfortable home and I want a woman to build it with that wants to host friends and raise a close family.

I'm 30 and I want to find a wife 8-12 years younger. The age gap I'd want would be wider if I was ok with finding an older girl when I am older - I'd like to find her younger though and with less experience. I think I'd stay in the low-mid 7 range as far as looks. Open to religious girls, they just have to have my best interests at heart. I don't want to sustain the level of Game over the long term that comes with marrying a truly hot a girl.

I'd want a girl that is into her family. I would be find spending lots of time with her family as long as they are warm and happy people. I would have no problem treating them as I treat my own family. I'd be okay with lending them some financial support over the years etc... if they were good people I cared about.

Fact is I'd like to find a girl before she hits 24, and I want to do it before I hit 36 so I have a good amount of time to form a solid relationship before children.

I'd like to say I would commit to living abroad, I am not sure that is possible though financially to support a family. I do have a career in tech where I could work for an international.

I'm working on getting my current gig to let me remote from South America for a year. I am going to Colombia for a month in November. This decision was made before really desiring to spend my time looking for the best teammate possible over the span of the next 6 years.

My plan is to spend my vacation time over the next year on going to South America to scout incase I am granted the ability to remote in the future.

Whether or not that works out I would go to Europe then Asia after on scouting trips over the next 2 years using all my vacation. This assumes I do not find a suitable remote gig or international job before then.

The countries I would visit in this order over the next 2 years before picking one or two to heavily concentrate on trying to work at remotely or find an international gig:

Mexico
Brazil

Poland
Romania
Serbia (maybe Albania and Bosnia - are they worth it?)

China
Taiwan
Vietnam
(I prefer Vietnamese looks over any other in SEA by far - I left PI off the list because I have heard the quality is lower than people like to admit from forum members in PM's and in person and that they place is mostly a shit hole with too much pollution - strong words I know. I left off Japan because of all the crazy social and sexual norms I have heard about (also heard about no sex after marriage) and Korea due to the chicks crazy emotional nature, and what I have read is a tough dating scene for an outsider.)

I am going to visit these all with an open mind, honestly I think the only country on the list I could really live in for the long term maybe would be Taiwan or Poland, which I see as a large challenge.

I am putting work into learning Spanish presently. I will probably spend my mornings in Colombia going to intensive language school. I would study Portugese before my Brazil trip, and Mandarin before China and Taiwan.

Once I decide on a country I think I could find the best teammate I would dedicate myself as I said to working there remotely or getting an international gig. Maybe I will build an online business before then.

If I felt taking a girl back to the U.S. for whatever reasons may come up I would roll the dice probably live in Colorado or Texas where I think there is the best chance of raising a grounded family with a prenup or anything I could to defend myself against the worst.

Just looking for thoughts about my plan.


RE: Wife Hunting Abroad - bacon - 08-22-2015 08:13 PM

As a thought experiment I have explored the possibilities of marrying a foreign chick and there are obvious pros but you already know what they are so let me explore some of the negatives to considering a foreign wife.

Legal issues:
I believe when you accept a foreign bride and marry her you are also putting yourself out there for supporting her if things go bad. The government is not going to be on the hook for some woman who has citizenship via marriage but can’t hold a job because she can’t speak English or whatever. Anyway I don’t know all the legalities of this but I have heard and read that you would need to cover social support for her for a couple years I think this could be tens of thousands of dollars in the event of a divorce and she tries to claim government benefits. Obviously if she divorces you and remarries then you are off the hook as she’s someone else’s problem. (An older white guy I met in Thailand had a kid with a Thai girl in the US she divorced him and married a much richer guy in the US. He was able to get out of child support for signing away his visitation to the child.)
Also in the event of a divorce or separation she could theoretically take your kid and get on a plane to her home country and disappear. Fathers, especially foreign fathers have little to no rights in other countries. I met a guy who had this happen to him in Thailand he literally can’t find his child and has paid detectives who have had no luck. Obviously this is a really worst case scenario type thing but it’s a possibility so you should at least be aware of it.

Personal/Cultural issues:
A big concern is that she might get Americanized (get fat, stop doing domestic things for you, become less feminine etc) when she moves to the US. One thing I have learned from talking to expats who had married foreign women before is that they told me their wives changed after a few years when they relocated back to their Western country and that now they just date them abroad and keep them in their country.

Also even if they don’t get Americanized how will she get used to the relocation? She might suffer depression and have difficulty if she is far away from her family, siblings and friends she has seen every day for her life. Remember family units are stronger in other countries than the US so this could be very hard for her. Also I think men are just better adapted for the challenges of expatriation than women and even as a guy it’s still not easy.

Also you risk being played for a ticket to wealth. This is hard to know but you have to consider that she might put on an act to love you especially if she sees you as a way out of poverty and to let her move to a rich country. She might not understand that for Americans money doesn’t grow on trees and you have to work a lot to pay for nice things. She might just she you as just rich but not really understand the hard work or efforts you make to provide that lifestyle. So she might expect money to pay for her extended family or refuse to work since she is rich now. I haven’t had this happen to me before but I have met guys who didn’t understand how little she carried about him other than what he could materially do for her.

What I would do if you really wanted a family in the US with a non bitchy, younger woman then consider dating foreign chicks already in the US. I guarantee if you are near a major city you can find them. That really makes things much easier for you since it avoids some of the issues I brought up but still gets you access to traditional foreign women who are already in the US.

Your wild card option:
Move to Salt Lake City Utah. Join the Mormon church and marry and have a family with a Mormon girl. They are traditional, very low divorce and since they are from America so no homesickness etc.

If you want to permanently relocate abroad just find a country you would like to live in long term then play the field til you find one who you want marriage and a LTR and just live and marry there. Much of the problems I brought up are related to bringing her back to the US things so you can avoid those if you just decide to live abroad for good.


RE: Wife Hunting Abroad - Travesty - 08-22-2015 08:20 PM

Thanks for the detailed and thoughtful post +1.

If I had the thought of bringing a girl to the U.S. I'd be very vigilant about making sure I could date the same looks and age-wise in the U.S. anyways, so we'd level.

My number one option would be to stay abroad, I am unfortunately a creature of comfort though a nice safe, cozy sizable home is a dream of mine. If I brought a girl back I think I'd just have to live with the financial consequences if things went south.

I need to travel more to see if I would want to live abroad which is what my scouting trips are all about.

Mormons... haha man I have had heard some horror stories though. A friend of a friend in SoCal ran away from his family and disowned them because he thought they were so hardcore. I don't know if I am at that level. Mormons don't drink caffeine even right?

I need a chick that is okay with me smoking a joint and having a cocktail once in awhile.

Do you have thoughts about my list of countries as far as which are the most livable?

And which would most like be the best candidates to bring to the U.S.?

I feel like Asian girls in general would fare better leaving to the U.S. and keeping their values.


RE: Wife Hunting Abroad - Dusty - 08-22-2015 08:22 PM

I don't like the Viet accent.

You might want to give the Phils a chance. The girls speak English, and are catholic and traditional (i.e., feminine). General quality is low, but there are some gems. Look for the educated ones.

As far as having them "go native" in the US, live in a suburb that is family oriented. Keep her busy with kids. Have her join a church and get her social life from there (and you and the family). Preach red pill at home. Nip any feminism in the bud with shaming.


RE: Wife Hunting Abroad - Dr. Howard - 08-22-2015 08:27 PM

let me also throw out there a non-abroad suggestion of the rural south for wife hunting, 2nd tier cities and 3rd tier towns with an online pipeline...ie online dating with searches centered on middle of nowhere or small town zip codes. The quality is there and if you move them out of lets say, hazard county and they've never been across state lines you may be able isolate them enough to reduce some attention whoring.


RE: Wife Hunting Abroad - scotian - 08-22-2015 08:41 PM

I've considered knocking up a Colombian girl in the past and was actively dumping loads in one the last time I was down there, I must be sterile or something. I think it could work, even bringing them back to an Anglo country but there's a lot of variables that you have to consider. I think that if I do it, I will marry her there, have at least two kids and raise them there until they're at least a couple of years old, then take them back home. You will have your work cut out for you in finding the right Colombian girl, there are some real gems down there but the culture can be fucked and seems to produce a lot of untrustworthy whores, who can be fun, but don't wife them up. Mexico may be a better option for a Latina wife.


RE: Wife Hunting Abroad - Travesty - 08-22-2015 08:49 PM

(08-22-2015 08:27 PM)Dr. Howard Wrote:  let me also throw out there a non-abroad suggestion of the rural south for wife hunting, 2nd tier cities and 3rd tier towns with an online pipeline...ie online dating with searches centered on middle of nowhere or small town zip codes. The quality is there and if you move them out of lets say, hazard county and they've never been across state lines you may be able isolate them enough to reduce some attention whoring.

This is something I struggle with. I only have so much off time and money to scout around. It feels like I'd have a better shot abroad.

Are rural Southern girls down to get locked down to a guy 10 years older when they are 22?

In SoCal a decent looking non-party girl 7 (most attractive girls are party girls here or had a significant slut phase) that would be pretty tough, and there are lots of 7's here. Even if I did that shit is expensive for a family here and the divorce rate is like 70% in the state with possible lifetime alimony.

I need a girl that in her early 20's wants to form a serious relationship and doesn't have the party bug.

I am aiming definitely for the more bookish, introvert, like to stay home and cook on a Saturday. I have dated girls like that here and they still slut around a bit which is why I think SoCal is a pretty bad place to find long term material. There are way too many options here for everyone.


RE: Wife Hunting Abroad - Travesty - 08-22-2015 08:59 PM

(08-22-2015 08:41 PM)scotian Wrote:  You will have your work cut out for you in finding the right Colombian girl, there are some real gems down there

Do you recommend I go to mass at church when I visit? I was raised Catholic.


RE: Wife Hunting Abroad - bacon - 08-22-2015 09:04 PM

(08-22-2015 08:20 PM)Travesty Wrote:  Do you have thoughts about my list of countries as far as which are the most livable?

Personally I have lived abroad primarily in Latin America and SEA because I like warm weather, the relaxed vibe and the aesthetic look of the women. Currently Thailand is my home and while I like living here I have to deal with a much stranger culture and tougher language compared to when I was in Mexico. I don't mind that but there are days where I miss being back in Mexico since I was able to connect to the language and culture more easier. However as I spend more time in Thailand this is less of an issue. Honestly your best bet is to travel and experience these places yourself to find which fits your personality the best and which would be the most livable to you. If you have enough money then most of your creature comforts you like in the US can be had pretty easily often for less money. Any country you have an interest in you should pm members living in those countries to address your specific questions.


RE: Wife Hunting Abroad - Vacancier Permanent - 08-22-2015 11:12 PM

Travesty,
I'll touch your most important points in selecting a country and a wife in order of importance IMO.

First and foremost, if you're from a family of immigrants from any country in the world, then your first choice should be to look into going to the Old Country and have relatives there recommend a good family girl. Spend at least 3-6 months with her in order to know her and see if there is compatibility between the two of you before tying the knot.

If going to the Old Country and use your family connections to hook you up is not a viable option, then the next best option is look into a country where you have a genuine interest in it. Genuine interest in the country, the culture, the language, the music, the food, etc...That will be crucial because that country, that culture, that language, that cuisine is going to become an integral part of you for the rest of your life. You've listed some pretty "exotic" countries on that list.

Finding a girl to marry is not the same as finding a girl to date and or have a fling with. There needs to be a lot of things in common for it to have the best and highest chance of success. So take some time and think carefully about which country you have the most genuine affinity with.

Learning Spanish or Portuguese is very easy relatively speaking. Learning Russian is hard. Now, learning Mandarin, or any Asian language, these are probably the hardest languages to learn for a non native adult. Again, a very important factor to take into consideration.

Once you've narrowed down your list of countries of interest to one or two which passes the above filter, then go spend time there. Not 1 or 2 weeks or even 1-2 months as that would not be anywhere near the amount required to get a good feel for the vibe, the culture, the local people and for you to build a solid social circle there. But rather spend at least 6 months to get a basic understanding of a place and the social proclivities of the locals.

Needless to say, I would not recommend pipelining girls online to find prospects for marriage. For short flings and perhaps casual dating, by all means. But marriage? A resounding no!

First find a country using the above filter, then go spend ideally 6-12 months there with the main goal of first and foremost to build a solid social circle of real local friends of both sexes and to learn about the culture from the ground and see and understand the local people and way of living. Then, once you've built a solid social circle, let them know that you are looking to get married to a good girl from a good family and background. By then, you would have shown them you're for real and not just playing and you've gained their trust and respect, thus they would be more than happy to assist you in finding a solid trustworthy woman.

Again, do not using online dating sites and pipelining for a wife! That's a surefire recipe for disaster!

I don't have any hard stats, but I am willing to bet anything, that the guys who are being fleeced by their foreign brides once they have reached the Promised Land in the West, they were found online, on dating sites or in bars/clubs. And I'm equally positive and equally willing to bet anything that those men who have been happily married for years, if not decades, with foreign women, they've met them and were introduced through their local mutual friends back in her country.

Once you do find her, spend the time to get to really know her, her family, her friends, co workers etc. Spend at least 1 year with her in country before making any major moves such as marrying her. And if you do go ahead, stay there and build a life in her country.

The least desirable option, at least IMO, would be to bring her to the US or the Anglosphere for all the reasons that have been already mentioned here. But most importantly because life is a beautiful adventure and the world is big and beautiful. And once you start traveling and spending enough time in other places around the globe, you realize that Life is actually more fulfilling, more fun and more healthy elsewhere than in the Anglosphere.

Use geo-arbitrage to your advantage man! Your $ will go way further outside of most of the Anglosphere countries than inside of it. You WILL enjoy a much higher and more luxurious quality of life for half, if not 1/3 or even a 1/4 of what you're currently spending in the US just to live a "normal" life where you'd be only surviving and going through the motions as a robot. Hence the importance of building an online, portable business.

Now, regarding work. If you want to go the corporate/work route, then the ideal would be learn a portable skill (trades are perfect for that!, or say if you've got the academic and professional credentials, become an expert in your field and either make it so that your company relocates you to the country of your choice or by working remotely yourself).

If you're more the entrepreneurial type of guy, then the best thing to do is to learn a skill and build an online business that you can run from anywhere in the world as long as you have reliable and fast internet connection.

IF you've already got a skill/academic and or professional credentials, then build a productized service business around it that you can run online. If you don't know what that is, head to tropicalmba.com and run a search for the "productized service business" and listen to all the podcast episodes on it! That will get your creative juices flow and work on overdrive at the speed of an F1 racing car!

Here's a 3 year game plan I'd recommend you to achieve all of the above:

- Save say 20K, then head off to Asia, to one of the many hubs of entrepreneurs in the region such as say Bangkok, Chiang Mai, Saigon, Davao or even Shenzhen if you're into physical products. (I recommend Asia for that as Asia is cheaper to bootstrap.

However, if you're more keen on a Latin or European base, then you do have options there too. Medellin in Colombia, Belo Horizonte in Brazil, Santiago in Chile for South America as well as Budapest, Berlin and Barcelona for Europe are major hubs for digital entrepreneurs.

You can post up in these places and bootstrap your biz for about 1-2k/month. During that year, network with like minded people, get inspired and motivated, form your own mastermind with them to get you pumped and going and bounce ideas off of each other.
- In that first year, your goal will be to learn a skill that you will use to build your service business around.
- In the 2nd year, your biz will be starting get some good traction and making decent money. That's where your focus is on selling the crap out of that skill!
- In the 3rd year, your business will be at a point where you are scaling it as fast and as much as possible.

Give yourself 2-3 years to achieve that, which is very realistic and doable.

Use your existing credentials and or professional skills. Are you a lawyer? accountant? Dr? IT professional? Programmer? Graphic Designer? Financial advisor? Insurance salesman? Car salesman? Real estate agent? You name it! Use your existing skills and build an online service business around it. You know your industry better than most people and already have the contacts so it's all a matter of execution.

Or do you have a talent for say writing? Copy writing is a fantastic option!

Do you have a great voice? Use it to offer voice over services/commercials on a freelance basis.

Are you good at something or are you familiar with a very specific and niche related software/programme? Then focus on becoming an expert on it and then, build a service biz around it.

Want some examples of that?

US/Canadian/European/Aussie Drs consulting over Skype from Thailand for $75/hr instead of the standard 300/hr while living the good, relaxed and stress FREE lifestyle.

Lawyers doing 10 hrs/week of consultations over Skype while jet setting around the world on their own schedule instead of having the life suck out of them and working themselves to an early heart attack working 80-90 hours/week for a firm back in the US/Canada.

Same for accountants, IT pros, programmers, etc...

Here's a concrete example of a girl, a financial advisor, who was sick of the corporate grind and just did that, built a service business around a very specific niche and is now crushing it!
http://genyplanning.com

You can even hear her talk about how she built that biz. Very informative and inspiring!
http://www.tropicalmba.com/10trueclients/

I highly recommend you go over all the content on the following link as it covers in details what I just wrote above and especially pay close attention to the section on productized services:
http://www.tropicalmba.com/best-of-tmba/

To recap, first build a solid foundation and get your finances in order. Start first with going over your existing skills/credentials and see what service you could build a business around.

Next, save enough (20K or so) to take one year to fully focus on learning a skill and build that biz. Go and put yourself in an environment that's positive, inspiring and fertile in making you reach your goals. Being around like minded people is key! Remember that you're the product of the 5 people you spend most time with! So choose carefully who you surround yourself with!

Go to one of the many hubs of entrepreneurs around the world and get down to work to build that biz.

After a year or so, you'd have built it.

Then, tackle the next phase of your plan, that is going to the country that you've selected your future wife to be from. Post up there, build a solid social circle, learn the language, the culture, immerse yourself into that culture and after you've built that social circle, let the word out that you are looking for a good, high quality local woman to marry.

The plan is laid out in front you. Now, go make it happen my friend!

To your advanced success Travesty!
Clap


RE: Wife Hunting Abroad - elcidcampeador - 08-22-2015 11:46 PM

Mexico, hands down. Those girls are very loyal, feminine, and obviously sexy. I think loyal is the key when getting married, otherwise what's the point.

This is coming from someone who has lived in China, Taiwan, and Vietnam.

Not really sure on the Europeans.


RE: Wife Hunting Abroad - Travesty - 08-22-2015 11:52 PM

Thanks VP, probably the best reply I have ever gotten to any post on here. +1 I thought I had repped long ago.

I have over $20k saved.

I am a programmer. I am working on ideas with my other programmer friend for a productized service you speak of. I still need to gain a bit more skill to do some pretty complex things, I am getting there. I have another programmer friend that has a decent amount of share at a very successful start up he is working at. He has his own software product out and pushes it in his spare time. I'd like to try to come up with something with him too.

My job may let me work remote from South America for at least a year if I keep going a bit longer and keep gaining skill. I think it would be nice to have a stable job and be able to explore down there. If that goes out the window then I think I would look for another remote job or an international company.

Once I get a bit more programming skill and have a good business idea I will knuckle down to start my own thing using all this.

Last few years I have been taking it easy in my career and skills in general. I am working right now on to just building more work ethic back up. I will need to have the drive to work a lot of 60hr+ work weeks. Lately I just work 40hrs with little stress and chase chicks.

I am hoping the stars align that I find the country I like best in the next few years while I have been upping my skills and work ethic, then take my stab at something.


RE: Wife Hunting Abroad - Merenguero - 08-23-2015 12:28 AM

(08-22-2015 11:46 PM)elcidcampeador Wrote:  Mexico, hands down. Those girls are very loyal, feminine, and obviously sexy. I think loyal is the key when getting married, otherwise what's the point.

This is coming from someone who has lived in China, Taiwan, and Vietnam.

Not really sure on the Europeans.

There is no way that I would ever get married, but if for some reason I didn't have a choice, I have to agree with Mexico. Some of the some reasons that it is difficult for me to get girls there when I go there for just a week at a time, make it a good place to find a wife. I would say that the guys who are in a rush to marry Colombians and Venezuelans need their heads checked, but when you run the numbers, I think marriages in which American guys marry women from those two countries are much more successful than American/American marriages. The highest risk of having an unsuccessful marriage, at least among Latin American countries, would be to marry a Cuban. The upside to Cuba is that those marriages also give you the best chance at having kids who are successful at life (please no all Miami people are stupid stuff. If you doubt me, check the statistics).


RE: Wife Hunting Abroad - Merenguero - 08-23-2015 12:28 AM

Dupe.


RE: Wife Hunting Abroad - Tytalus - 08-23-2015 12:31 AM

I second the idea of finding a country you have a genuine interest in, building a real social circle there, and then start wife hunting when you have credibility with the locals. I also agree, if you're dating woman who wouldn't normally date a foreigner, chances are much lower that you will be fleeced.

The other thing, keep in mind, when you're looking for someone to marry, is that you're investigating their character for long term stability. No woman is going to be perfect, so if there's anything you'd like changed, you have the most leverage to demand change before you get married.

If anything, I recommend reading Athol Kay's blog and books - he's the only red pill guy talking about how to stay married long and successfully. If you're marrying a foreign woman, some of it would have to be tailored for what are displays of high value and low value in her culture. Athol's big point is that if you're not careful, you can lose all your alpha and become a chump over the years if you don't know how to pass your wife's shit tests and appease her instead.

http://marriedmansexlife.com/2015/02/books-the-old-the-new-and-whats-coming-starting-summer-2015/

Edit:

And whatever you do, don't feel you have to make a "moral" choice. If you're game aware this probably isn't an issue... But the type of shaming men get in society is that they must make a "virtuous" choice when picking a wife. It's subtle, and I'm not sure how much it's spoken about, but you see it places in the media.

For example, the Dresden Files, a supernatural urban fantasy series about a wizard. The main character, over time, has his much younger apprentice fall completely in love with him. This apprentice graduates, becomes a capable wizard in her own right, described as very feminine in her actions and how she interacts with Harry. She is also ridiculously hot. Harry is super attracted to her and the author basically implies he gets hard looking at her.

But it wouldn't be "right" for him to be with her. So who does he go for? The aging detective Karen who's now in her late 40's who Harry had a crush on 15 years before and would be "the right" fit for him. Seriously fuck that noise.


RE: Wife Hunting Abroad - Travesty - 08-23-2015 12:40 AM

I just want to state I named this thread Wife Hunt for the connotations that it meant having children, a life long bond and so on.

I myself am fine not getting married, I am assuming though most foreign women, the kind that would make good mothers of children and partners in life wouldn't commit to said life without traditional marriage.

If there are countries where these girls will go for the long haul and kids without a marriage I am all ears. I am guessing also in the worst case I would try to take a woman back to the U.S. it helps a lot to be married. I don't know the rules if you knock up a chick in her country can she come over to the U.S. since she is the mother and not married to you?


RE: Wife Hunting Abroad - Merenguero - 08-23-2015 12:47 AM

(08-23-2015 12:40 AM)Travesty Wrote:  I don't know the rules if you knock up a chick in her country can she come over to the U.S. since she is the mother and not married to you?

I don't have the best handle on immigration law, but generally speaking, the answer to your question is no. She would have to come over here either through an employment visa, through another family member, or through a diversity visa. The only other way would be to sneak across the border or to come over on a tourist or fiancee visa and just never leave. I strongly recommend not pursuing any illegal means.


RE: Wife Hunting Abroad - Tytalus - 08-23-2015 01:04 AM

I'm quoting myself from another thread, because I think it's important. When you really need ?When you really need frame? Is when you're living with the same woman day in day out. Yes, an incredibly attractive woman can be extra work, but just because you have a "cute" wife instead of a hot one does not mean you need less game.

http://www.rooshvforum.com/thread-47878-post-1047854.html#pid1047854

Quote:There is NO SUCH THING as unconditional romantic love. It is hopeless, hopelessly naive and immature to believe such a thing exists. Your parents will probably love you forever, but in love? No way. Romantic love lasts 2 years tops. Then your blinders come off and your judgement comes back and you wonder who the fuck you married and what the fuck you were thinking. This happens to BOTH genders. She will not be enchanted with you forever. You will make mistakes and displays of low value (hopefully not too many) and will become much more realistic about who you really are over time. The same will happen with you about who she is.

If you want someone to unconditionally love you no matter what, then yeah, don't get married and have a good relationship with your mom.

You want your wife to love and appreciate you forever? Well be a man, not a chump. Fix the shit in your house without her asking you to, let alone having to remind you. Keep your cool. Keep your career and income steady and rising over time. Be good with your kids and not lose your shit. Help out a bit when she's having a bad day. Flirt with her plenty and play grab ass when the kids aren't looking. Pass her shit tests.

You cannot just be, and expect her to love you.

Also I think one should also keep in mind that you really can't be looking for a unicorn. Everyone has rough parts of their personalities. Everyone. We here accuse women of having long laundry lists of desirable traits, well, guys can do the same thing.

With things that are NOT major red flags, remember that the only time you have leverage to change her behavior is BEFORE the wedding, the engagement in particular.

She has a lousy diet but still thin? Get her to clean it up. Doesn't exercise as much as you like? Get her to the gym more. She gains 5 lbs? Tell her she needs to lose it ASAP.

My wife's friend married a man, who I shit you not, will not drink anything (or so I hear) other than cherry coke. Goes through at least 6 cans a day of the stuff. So severely unhealthy in his lifestyle that the friend can't get pregnant. Had she spoken up and said this HAD to change for them to get married, well, his health may be lousy instead of being a wreck.

Conversely, another friend of my wife's was complaining that her husband spoke up as she hit 145 lbs, and was 140 when she married him. I couldn't believe it, this quiet, mild mannered dutch guy belligerently on his wife's case every time she hit 145 on the scale. And, to boot, she lost the weight every time he told her to.



RE: Wife Hunting Abroad - tomtud - 08-23-2015 01:09 AM

Before marrying one, make sure that it's no vacation romance and you want to start the spousal visa process asap. This for sure will head for disaster. Your best bet is to live in the said country, get to know the nuances of the culture,,,the difference between the sexes, cultural norms in dating, work, family etc. Then, live with her. See how that goes. If your vacations are flexible great. For those in the typical office type jobs that give you 2-3 weeks of vacay, guess where your vacations will be? Yup her country, to see the family. No other spots for you most likely.
Somebody mentioned marrying a Cuban. This goes for most women. When you bring them to your world, you better be certain who she is. My advice is this..... If your town has any of the girls you like from xyz countr go to where they shop, eat, go out. You are bound to find one who is divorced from her sponsor. Not all, but pick her brain if you can.
Big age differences work elsewhere.... In the western world,,,, I am not so certain.
I am sure you can find other forums or even YouTube videos about the pros and cons of doing this.
If you own property, put it in your parents name etc. don't trust some prenup to be 100%. Pay "rent" to your parents via check every month to leave a paper trail and if you get divorced, disposable income will be low and it won't cost you as much hopefully.

Hit the trail. Meet others who have married foreign women. Some have it great, some not so great. Pick their brains. Good luck.


RE: Wife Hunting Abroad - CamelToe - 08-23-2015 06:24 AM

(08-22-2015 08:41 PM)scotian Wrote:  You will have your work cut out for you in finding the right Colombian girl, there are some real gems down there but the culture can be fucked and seems to produce a lot of untrustworthy whores, who can be fun, but don't wife them up. Mexico may be a better option for a Latina wife.

why not a Venezuelan? they seem like a good option


RE: Wife Hunting Abroad - iknowexactly - 08-23-2015 06:58 AM

I like this suggestion of Mexico, I'm embarrassed to admit I haven't been there but have been to EE and SEA.

The mentality of Filipinos is definitely more alien than Mexicans as far as I can tell from living in USA and meeting many Mexicans, and coming up on a year here and dealing with Filipinos. I like Filipinos but I have no fucking idea what is going through their minds. It is absolutely opaque to me. I do not feel comfortable marrying someone when I don't know who she is.

VP, great wonderfully plotted out suggestions for getting out of The Cube. I have found part-time life coaching over Skype works great, and even a small amount of money makes a difference when your income is low. I leveraged a skill and license I already had and am making money and not in The Cube.
Living over seas even gives you MORE credibility with a certain market as they can see you are a person who can manage to have an interesting life.

I also agree with VP that most dating site girls have some type of problem, either extreme poverty, personality problems or health problems. It might not be anti-sociality, the ruthless party-girl type, it could also be depression, some level of Aspergers, I even met one girl who was clearly schizophrenic.

VPs idea of social network first and spending at least 6 months seems smart. I could not interpret Filipino social cues for at least that long. When you ask a question and they giggle, it means "no fucking way"; it's how they say "no."

Plus keeping her there ( in Mexico) would be much less deprivation, the flights and jet lag are an order of magnitude less stressful than going to Asia. I've read some of the Mexico threads, but are there any suggestions for locations to hunt with a decent lifestyle for the OP ( who is 30) and sneak some in for me (50s)?

Mexico's proximity may be favorable for several reasons:
-- while you're waiting for her papers to come through so she can come to the US, you can visit her easier
-- when you're married and she's in the USA, she can visit home more easily and cheaply so she won't get homesick
-- there are more resources in USA to make Mexicans comfortable even while they are in the USA....

Another off-the wall type idea is there are some cities in former East Germany that are coming up now and still have cheap housing. I've forgotten where but you can branch out there , go to Poland etc .


RE: Wife Hunting Abroad - SlickyBoy - 08-23-2015 07:22 AM

(08-22-2015 11:12 PM)Vacancier Permanent Wrote:  Lawyers doing 10 hrs/week of consultations over Skype while jet setting around the world on their own schedule instead of having the life suck out of them and working themselves to an early heart attack working 80-90 hours/week for a firm back in the US/Canada.

I would have to see this in action in order to believe it. The only overseas lawyers (outside of top firms) working on US cases typically tend to be Indian document reviewers, or even drafters - they make nowhere near what you might think a lawyer makes. Even those guys in doc review sweatshops both foreign and domestic are at great risk of being eclipsed by the machines (computer software eliminating their jobs). I'm just not seeing how the average US-barred lawyer overseas can eek out more than bare subsistence at best, absent some very unusual niche and work arrangement.

But I like the overall approach - finding remote, decent paying and consistent work is challenging, to say the least. And as far as Asia, I would not recommend China for purely health reasons - the air quality in mainland China is like smoking a pack a day. Instead I'd pick Vietnam as it has plenty of desirable women with a very reasonable COL. I've seen IT jobs posted over there where you didn't even need to know the language - might be worth a look.

Good advice on not going online - way too many scams. The OP is also wise to consider a 7 versus an 8 or above, as the second a girl like that gets into the US and finds out you're just another Joe Blow with a half-decent job, she'll start social climbing almost immediately and leave you in the dust.


RE: Wife Hunting Abroad - dalbroker - 08-23-2015 09:21 AM

Not sure if this will help.

I have been to Philippines 4 times....racked up so many notches I
can not even count. Number of wife oriented girls - 2-3 total.

I went to VN for 10 days. Found 2 out of 5. Night and day difference
between the two.

I love Phily but it might be the worst place for a serious LTR
unless you are too old to game elsewhere.

You better know spanish if you are going for a LTR with a latina.
Absolute must.

I would also VISIT all of these places before deciding which country
to focus on.....if you have not already. You will get an idea which culture
you like the most.

Good luck.








(08-22-2015 07:19 PM)Travesty Wrote:  Looked through the "Wife" threads some piecemeal stuff about abroad, nothing serious I came across that comes close TravelerKai's China dating thread which is specific to that country and I will most likely use heavily in the future.

I've recently had strong gut feelings that are telling me I need to have a teammate, a real wife, to build a happy home and have at least 2 children with. I haven't felt this way in the past few years. I think my game currently is the best it has ever been. I am very tired of balancing hoes. I have exceeded almost every game fantasy I ever wanted and then some. I have done it without getting a permanent STD and want to keep it that way. I am not nomadic at heart. I love a comfortable home and I want a woman to build it with that wants to host friends and raise a close family.

I'm 30 and I want to find a wife 8-12 years younger. The age gap I'd want would be wider if I was ok with finding an older girl when I am older - I'd like to find her younger though and with less experience. I think I'd stay in the low-mid 7 range as far as looks. Open to religious girls, they just have to have my best interests at heart. I don't want to sustain the level of Game over the long term that comes with marrying a truly hot a girl.

I'd want a girl that is into her family. I would be find spending lots of time with her family as long as they are warm and happy people. I would have no problem treating them as I treat my own family. I'd be okay with lending them some financial support over the years etc... if they were good people I cared about.

Fact is I'd like to find a girl before she hits 24, and I want to do it before I hit 36 so I have a good amount of time to form a solid relationship before children.

I'd like to say I would commit to living abroad, I am not sure that is possible though financially to support a family. I do have a career in tech where I could work for an international.

I'm working on getting my current gig to let me remote from South America for a year. I am going to Colombia for a month in November. This decision was made before really desiring to spend my time looking for the best teammate possible over the span of the next 6 years.

My plan is to spend my vacation time over the next year on going to South America to scout incase I am granted the ability to remote in the future.

Whether or not that works out I would go to Europe then Asia after on scouting trips over the next 2 years using all my vacation. This assumes I do not find a suitable remote gig or international job before then.

The countries I would visit in this order over the next 2 years before picking one or two to heavily concentrate on trying to work at remotely or find an international gig:

Mexico
Brazil

Poland
Romania
Serbia (maybe Albania and Bosnia - are they worth it?)

China
Taiwan
Vietnam
(I prefer Vietnamese looks over any other in SEA by far - I left PI off the list because I have heard the quality is lower than people like to admit from forum members in PM's and in person and that they place is mostly a shit hole with too much pollution - strong words I know. I left off Japan because of all the crazy social and sexual norms I have heard about (also heard about no sex after marriage) and Korea due to the chicks crazy emotional nature, and what I have read is a tough dating scene for an outsider.)

I am going to visit these all with an open mind, honestly I think the only country on the list I could really live in for the long term maybe would be Taiwan or Poland, which I see as a large challenge.

I am putting work into learning Spanish presently. I will probably spend my mornings in Colombia going to intensive language school. I would study Portugese before my Brazil trip, and Mandarin before China and Taiwan.

Once I decide on a country I think I could find the best teammate I would dedicate myself as I said to working there remotely or getting an international gig. Maybe I will build an online business before then.

If I felt taking a girl back to the U.S. for whatever reasons may come up I would roll the dice probably live in Colorado or Texas where I think there is the best chance of raising a grounded family with a prenup or anything I could to defend myself against the worst.

Just looking for thoughts about my plan.



RE: Wife Hunting Abroad - The_CEO - 08-23-2015 09:56 AM

Travesty,
the guys I know who have married overseas basically did what VP outlined.

+1 VP.


RE: Wife Hunting Abroad - jimukr104 - 08-23-2015 10:49 AM

Marry them overseas .Don't bring them back if you marry them!


*Said by the town hypocrite!