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I'm converting to Judahism, the winning tribe. Join me. - Printable Version

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I'm converting to Judahism, the winning tribe. Join me. - MrLemon - 07-17-2019 03:57 PM

After reading a lot of comments from my pals like Nomadbrah, Easy_c, etc. it's become clear to me that I need to make a decision. So I made it.

I'm a typical American mixture of German/English/French, with no real religious ties -- parents were Catholic and some wimpy Protestant demonination, but that never caught my attention.

But I need a religion, clearly. My relationship to God is important.

Like most Americans, I love winners. And based on the posts by you guys, it's clear that Jews are behind the scenes running the world. In other words: JEWS ARE WINNERS. They're a small group with huge influence. They control the money -- I like money. Isreal has an oversized importance in the world. Clearly being Jewish is "where it's at".

I thought about converting to Mormonism -- they are the other most aggressive religion. They control many branches of the US government (CIA and FBI) and they rule 1 of the 50 American states. They have an explicit mandate to take over and rule America. Mormons also rich (a side benefit of owning an American state.)

But ultimately I decided that becoming a Jew was better.

So I have visited my local Rabbi and talked to a few Jewish neighbors, and am starting down the journey towards success and power. Anybody else who wants to join a winning team -- just pm me and we can discuss.


RE: I'm converting to Judahism, the winning tribe. Join me. - Latan - 07-17-2019 04:00 PM

I always thought being religious was about a spiritual call, something to do with reaching towards divine beautiful ideals, not a bet on a potential winning team while calculating returns on investment.
Guess I was wrong.

I hope you'll win OP, whatever this means.


RE: I'm converting to Judahism, the winning tribe. Join me. - Kona - 07-17-2019 04:05 PM

I've said it before... if you can't beat (((them))) join (((them))).

Aloha!


RE: I'm converting to Judahism, the winning tribe. Join me. - Foolsgo1d - 07-17-2019 04:21 PM

Strangelight wants to know your location.


RE: I'm converting to Judahism, the winning tribe. Join me. - MrLemon - 07-17-2019 04:23 PM

(07-17-2019 04:05 PM)Kona Wrote:  I've said it before... if you can't beat (((them))) join (((them))).

Aloha!

You were right man. Oh so right.

The other great thing about Jews is, they have a great take on booze. Drink up! I like that.


RE: I'm converting to Judahism, the winning tribe. Join me. - Chiosboy90 - 07-17-2019 04:23 PM

Have fun when your future ((daughter)) is on the streets pushing for feminism or whatever Jewish new globo homo trend will be in the future. The only Jews that are winning, are the ones on the very top. Your queer genderless non human Jewish daughter with blue hair, will give you for sure many nice sleepless nights. Also, the average Jew doesn't even benefit from the globo homo. What is the benefit of an average Jewish guy in the globo homo world? I really don't see any outside of being protected from criticism of any sort sure. You can call "anti Semitism" if you don't get your dream job I guess. But don't be surprised when everyone secretly hates you by your Jewish behaviors.


RE: I'm converting to Judahism, the winning tribe. Join me. - MrLemon - 07-17-2019 04:25 PM

(07-17-2019 04:23 PM)Chiosboy90 Wrote:  Have fun when your future ((daughter)) is on the streets pushing for feminism or whatever Jewish new globo homo trend will be in the future. The only Jews that are winning, are the ones on the very top. Your queer genderless non human Jewish daughter with blue hair, will give you for sure many nice sleepless nights. Also, the average Jew doesn't even benefit from the globo homo. What is the benefit of an average Jewish guy in the globo homo world? I really don't see any outside of being protected from criticism of any sort sure. You can call "anti Semitism" if you don't get your dream job I guess. But don't be surprised when everyone secretly hates you by your Jewish behaviors.

Join me! You too can be a member of the tribe.


RE: I'm converting to Judahism, the winning tribe. Join me. - Sword and Board - 07-17-2019 04:42 PM

Hah, please. You’ve been a Jew all along.
The whole im a French/German/African/Italian/whatever raised as a catholic shtick has been a cover Jews have been using on the internet since its inception.


RE: I'm converting to Judahism, the winning tribe. Join me. - RIslander - 07-17-2019 04:45 PM

Is it April 1st or is my watch wrong?


RE: I'm converting to Judahism, the winning tribe. Join me. - MrLemon - 07-17-2019 04:48 PM

(07-17-2019 04:42 PM)Sword and Board Wrote:  Hah, please. You’ve been a Jew all along.
The whole im a French/German/African/Italian/whatever raised as a catholic shtick has been a cover Jews have been using on the internet since its inception.

I wish you were right...I would be much richer and more successful that I am now. Sad it took me so long! But now I'm joining up for real! Thank you for your support, I appreciate it!


RE: I'm converting to Judahism, the winning tribe. Join me. - nomadbrah - 07-17-2019 04:49 PM

They don't want you man lol.


RE: I'm converting to Judahism, the winning tribe. Join me. - MrLemon - 07-17-2019 04:51 PM

(07-17-2019 04:49 PM)nomadbrah Wrote:  They don't want you man lol.

Come on Nomad, don't be jealous. You can become jewish too. I know that's what you want deep in your heart.

It's you that mostly prompted this decision, so I feel a strong bond with you.


RE: I'm converting to Judahism, the winning tribe. Join me. - 911 - 07-17-2019 04:55 PM

I guess there is some doubt as to whether you were a crypto member of the tribe, or the most zio-pozzed BoomerCon in the history of BoomerCons. You're really better off coming out as the former, because the level of zio-pozzing would be simply unreal if you really weren't a member of tribe.

You're saying it's the latter, but there is a bit of a freudian slip there when you write "So I have visited my local Rabbi", a convert would have used "a" instead or "my", because that rabbi wouldn't be your rabbi before you actually go through the conversion...


RE: I'm converting to Judahism, the winning tribe. Join me. - Dan Woolf - 07-17-2019 04:56 PM

I quite like my foreskin so I'll have to respectfully decline Your invitation, thank you.


RE: I'm converting to Judahism, the winning tribe. Join me. - PapayaTapper - 07-17-2019 04:57 PM

A bunch more holidays plus Saturdays off.

Agree2

Whats the downside?

Unless youre not already circumcised that is ...


RE: I'm converting to Judahism, the winning tribe. Join me. - wwtl - 07-17-2019 05:05 PM

(07-17-2019 04:57 PM)PapayaTapper Wrote:  Whats the downside?

No salvation without Jesus Christ.


RE: I'm converting to Judahism, the winning tribe. Join me. - PapayaTapper - 07-17-2019 05:09 PM

(07-17-2019 05:05 PM)wwtl Wrote:  
(07-17-2019 04:57 PM)PapayaTapper Wrote:  Whats the downside?

No salvation without Jesus Christ.

Well is it ever too late to sincerely repent?

Edit: Asking for a friend


RE: I'm converting to Judahism, the winning tribe. Join me. - MrLemon - 07-17-2019 05:09 PM

(07-17-2019 04:57 PM)PapayaTapper Wrote:  A bunch more holidays plus Saturdays off.

Agree2

Whats the downside?

Unless youre not already circumcised that is ...

Luckily, like most American male population of my age group (40-70) I"m already circumcised. So neither I or my wife face any messy transition period. Helmut-polishing techniques unchanged.

It's interesting how many men in the US are snipped. What is it now, like 75%?

[Image: past_present-US-rates.png]


RE: I'm converting to Judahism, the winning tribe. Join me. - captain_shane - 07-17-2019 05:10 PM

Huh, didn't know someone could convert to something they already belong to.


RE: I'm converting to Judahism, the winning tribe. Join me. - MrLemon - 07-17-2019 05:11 PM

(07-17-2019 04:55 PM)911 Wrote:  You're saying it's the latter, but there is a bit of a freudian slip there when you write "So I have visited my local Rabbi", a convert would have used "a" instead or "my", because that rabbi wouldn't be your rabbi before you actually go through the conversion...

Freud was a jew, wasn't he?


RE: I'm converting to Judahism, the winning tribe. Join me. - Leonard D Neubache - 07-17-2019 05:13 PM

Pathetic.


RE: I'm converting to Judahism, the winning tribe. Join me. - Easy_C - 07-17-2019 05:27 PM

Doesn’t work that way. I can get away with claiming that because an immediate relative has the DNA test to back it up, and the tribe expects you to prove legitimate descent.

You’re most likely SOL for trying to pass.


RE: I'm converting to Judahism, the winning tribe. Join me. - TigerMandingo - 07-17-2019 05:30 PM

Lemon is trolling lol. But I have to say he takes Jew-criticism very VERY personally, which leads me to believe that he might be partially Jewish, has a Jewish spouse or close Jewish friends. Nothing wrong with that obviously but it makes any attack on them very close to his heart and he starts having mini-meltdowns like this.

Lemon have you read my posts where I mentioned I’m half-tribe? Yet I don’t go around policing the forum whenever the subject comes up. Read some Ron Unz, himself a Jew businessman from your home state. He writes things about them that would make David Duke blush. Point is you’re a grown-ass man, so take the criticism in stride and ask if there are things heebs might be doing that are pissing many people off.


RE: I'm converting to Judahism, the winning tribe. Join me. - MrLemon - 07-17-2019 05:32 PM

(07-17-2019 05:27 PM)Easy_C Wrote:  Doesn’t work that way. I can get away with claiming that because an immediate relative has the DNA test to back it up, and the tribe expects you to prove legitimate descent.

You’re most likely SOL for trying to pass.

Really? I talked to the local rabbi (yes, not "my" rabbi yet, don't want another Freudian slip) and he said I could study the scrolls for some period of time, and bingo-bango I'm in.

From Wiki:
Quote:Nowadays, with the notable exception of some Syrian Jewish communities, (primarily the Brooklyn, NY and Deal, NJ communities),[13] all mainstream forms of Judaism today are open to sincere converts,[14]



RE: I'm converting to Judahism, the winning tribe. Join me. - PapayaTapper - 07-17-2019 05:33 PM

(07-17-2019 05:27 PM)Easy_C Wrote:  Doesn’t work that way. I can get away with claiming that because an immediate relative has the DNA test to back it up, and the tribe expects you to prove legitimate descent.

You’re most likely SOL for trying to pass.

Good thing DNA tests didnt exist back in 60's or (((they'd))) never have let this guy in the club

[Image: Sammy-1080-450x450.jpg]