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RE: The No More Adultery Thread - wwtl - 08-10-2019 03:49 AM

(08-09-2019 12:37 PM)EndsExpect Wrote:  
(08-09-2019 11:54 AM)Montrose Wrote:  Yes, some women want a relationship or money. But in my experience the vast majority of them will happily have sex with a guy who tells them stories, listens to their stupid stories, provides them with affection and attention, and is only half decent in bed. With kindness and compassion.

I agree, but how do you extricate yourself from such a situation without causing... damage?

My only guess so far is to present them with a flaw so serious they can't imagine things working out. However, I've never tried it.

In that case they might still fall in love, but decide to be wretchedly in love without telling you. In that case you usually get a loyal FWB - the female version of an orbiter.

Fornicating without damage - that's a myth.


RE: The No More Adultery Thread - EndsExpect - 08-11-2019 04:37 PM

(08-10-2019 03:49 AM)wwtl Wrote:  In that case they might still fall in love, but decide to be wretchedly in love without telling you. In that case you usually get a loyal FWB - the female version of an orbiter.
Fornicating without damage - that's a myth.

I'm personally unsure. I think what Montrose says is likely correct, however his target age is likely 18-22 and that's not really my thing.


RE: The No More Adultery Thread - Polniy_Sostav - 08-18-2019 08:56 AM

A quick update , on what I think is 2 weeks since my "change".
Positive things :
- I feel more "free" , I see a nice girl or interact with a nice-looking girl and do not feel like she is sexual target. I don't feel frustrated and although I acknowledge she is pretty , it does not increase my anger. She is just a woman , and she is not mine , and that's it. I dont feel bad about it.
- I feel stronger. I can focus on my own life , my own goals , without having to lose time to chase women. This time goes for my children and my wife.
- I feel like I have some sort of aura (the presence of God) around myself , which is kind of protecting me. A bit like when you play Mario Kart , and you get some "invicible" blitz around you (not sure how to explain in English). I am sure this presence can be kept and reinforced through prayers , which is probably the next step.

Negative things :
- It is more "boring". Life has lost a bit of its luster , it s less fun to be serious. I have always been a serious guy but it is definitely less fun to not chase girls. I highly recommend being fully into a hobby or into sports/training . Use this time to call your parents if they are still alive , your nephews , etc. To read books.
-I feel that the distance between the clown world and me is getting bigger and bigger , so while I have no problem with this , this might be hard for people who are used to be very social.


RE: The No More Adultery Thread - Zenta - 08-18-2019 04:45 PM

(08-18-2019 08:56 AM)Polniy_Sostav Wrote:  -I feel that the distance between the clown world and me is getting bigger and bigger , so while I have no problem with this , this might be hard for people who are used to be very social.

Thanks for the update. What exactly do you mean by the distance is getting bigger and bigger? You are seeing more or less of the clown world?


RE: The No More Adultery Thread - Polniy_Sostav - 08-19-2019 08:12 AM

I am seeing more of it , and I feel more and more like an outcast when I go to public places.
And still I am in a place where women are more or less normal compared to the west...


RE: The No More Adultery Thread - rustjinanne - 10-02-2019 03:17 PM

I made a conscious decision to stop any kind of adultery / cheating down to messaging other girls. I didn't trust myself or those other girls to break contact so I changed number, new phone and came off all social media. I too only liked to prove to myself I've "still got it" until I came scarily close to being caught.

Suddenly the risks of what I could lose and the pain I could cause were all too real and I suddenly appreciated my wife - young, Russian, religious, faithful for the rare diamond in the rough of this modern clown world society. From that moment of clarity I have not come close to sinning.

I don't miss it, like the OP I feel better about myself and this has definitely contributed to a more positive feeling in general. I am at the very early stages of finding religion after a lifetime of atheism but I think this is a big step for me and proves I'm headed in the right direction.

Even after deliberately breaking contact I've been presented with a couple of distinct opportunities for breaking this vow, but again I found an instant clarity and none of the temptation that used to fill my mind. I wonder if that was Him testing me, I'm proud to say I passed.


RE: The No More Adultery Thread - Laner - 10-02-2019 05:19 PM

I came clean back in April and, besides one slip up in the first three weeks, I have been on the straight and true. In hindsight, it was a lot more difficult than I realized at the time. I had some great support from some of the biggest poon hounds on earth. Not ironic, it just shows the strong brotherhood of the men I met from here.

The first month was very hard for me. I was used to having sex every night of the week. At this point I was mostly just having sex with my wife and my girlfriend, but because I was already cheating, my brain was programmed to get more women. Even having sex with two different women in a week makes things exciting. Two different styles, different looks, different movements; it was very pleasurable.

After I broke my first streak three weeks in, I doubled my resolve. It was still early on so I didn't feel that bad other than for having to start over. So I did.

I soon realized that my orgasms were far less intense and pleasurable now that I was having sex with my wife only. My body was used to having seven or more orgasms a week, and I was having trouble with only having 3 or 4. One night I decided to do a line of cocaine and take half a viagra before sex. The orgasm was amazing, perhaps even better than what it would be with having sex with different women. So I began using cocaine and viagra before sex and it worked very well, but I was now using cocaine three or four times a week and viagra just as much. I knew this couldn't last, so after two months I stopped using drugs for sex.

It was now getting into summer, and my wife, son and I were going to the beach more, having later nights and spending more time together as a family. I started seeing her through the eyes of a horny man again. She is still hot - and she has an unreal body that I remembered was one of the major reasons I was attracted to her in the first place. It took a while, but I gradually started to lust after her again. It took about four hard months, but eventually I found myself where I am now. I feel like I love her more deeply than ever before.

The one thing that we don't have too much control over is the way the woman feels about sex. Its been six months, and I still want to bang the hell out of her 4 nights a week. She rarely says no, but she only truly enjoys it maybe half the time. This will be the part that will get more difficult in the coming months as our sex lives balance out somewhat.

I know I am not out of the clear quite yet, but I have made more progress in the past 6 months than any other time in my life. I feel free to focus on other things and even found that I have time for myself again. I have stopped going out at night, which made my business networking suffer greatly, but I felt it was needed in order to give me the focus to improve. Having a solid foundation on which to build my monogamy is the goal.


RE: The No More Adultery Thread - Leonard D Neubache - 10-03-2019 08:50 AM

Well done. Living proof that a man can be more faithful than his options.


RE: The No More Adultery Thread - Polniy_Sostav - 10-04-2019 11:21 AM

2 months and a half update :

I found myself guilty of chatting with other women online , although i have never made it further friendly discussions.
I said I was married , with kids etc from the first line .
The women always live 6000 km away from my home . There are one or two interesting ones , and they are average physically. I use them as "language improvement" teachers. (Far-East Russia)

This is the best compromise i can do now. I don't think this is immoral at all. I do not even have them on whatsapp or anything like this.

But I believe that God is testing me . A few of my airplanes got cancelled recently for a trip which has to happen close to new year , leaving me with only transit choice one place where my former lover lives. Haven't done anything yet to change my route , but with a bit of courage , I will take this route without telling this lover.
She anyways almost never writes me anymore , since I told her I want to be serious and change. This is another sad conclusion to make : Women are not interested anymore in someone who decides to be serious , however , should I still behave immorally and be a bit of a "disgusting" person , she would often want my love and my sex. We all know in this forum the true nature of women , but I think this goes far beyond logic.

Ironically , I have kept 5 contacts all in all , including the former lover I ve just mentioned in the paragraph above. I almost never write them. Maybe once a month , and usually we discuss about kids like friends. Out of these 5 , I believe that one of them is more and more interested in me , since I am able to explain to her my new life vision and to rationalize everything. She is a believer , but I ve always felt that she does not understand her own faith. She has a few times tried to "sexualise" the conversation , which is very weird as in the past , she was always the first to reject my pathetic attempts to sexualise the conversation. I can guess something is not totally right with her husband , as he is "going out with his friends to drink" very often and she is pregnant. I tried to take his defence and act as beta as I could , but she probably understands that I am interested in her sexually even if I pretend that I am not. I met her more than 10 years ago , and before my wedding she told me that she was waiting from a move from me. I was shy and did nothing. MY mistake. But I cannot really accept it now that I know her better.

I ve told her that she missed the right time frame to get me , and that , should she have done this in the past before I marry and meet my wife ( I know her from before) , we would probably be married. I was not strong enough to give a clear no or to block her.

Why am I scared to lose women , who are married ? I know that a categorical "NO" , or blocking , or telling them that i don't want to talk to them at all , would make me sad ? I often ask myself , if simply I am not weak. Even though I do not want to cheat , subconsciously I m fighting with myself to have the possibility to cheat one day , should this possibility arise , and blame the woman for "provoking" me.

I blame women , because I hate them. See my previous posts. And yet I kind of like these two women , who are not my wife. How can you keep a moral relationship - mostly friendly - and yet not be sexually attracted ? I feel a bit lost , like my lack of gaming is bringing me back to the time I was particularly shy and inefficient with women.
I am in a constant fight with myself to become a man with social skills , and with high level of respectability and desirable , but also keep the serious and reliable husband image.

Is it wrong to want to be desired by a few women you know for years and who are not your wife ? If you do not have sex with them , is it still wrong ? Can you really delete an honest friendship of 10 years just because "I want to be serious" ?
I do not hate women as much as I did the past , but now I start to feel affection for these "friends".

One thing which bothers me at the moment is the strange feeling of stagnating , of losing social skills and gaming skills. Not that I need them , but I came back to the state of someone very "cold" and very "distant" with any woman is not my wife. I am not able to chit-chat or to joke with them , even without any bad intentions. So these girls I kept , are the "last ones" which I met in person and value as good girls.

The "aura" which I felt "protecting myself" , probably coming from the skies , is now not here anymore. I think that this is an obstacle God is putting on my way to see if i can pass the test and resist.

For the time being , it is a draw. I am resisting , but I am also giving some ground to the devil calling me. I am not a social media , I do not do any drugs , I don't drink , I do not have toxic people around me , and I train a lot (even things outside my comfort zone , such as starting boxing as 33 yo) .I don't think I have any big trauma. I set myself a lot of goals , financially , professionally , and I care about my kids a lot. But there is still a voice in my head , sometimes very strong in some days , which tells me to fornicate with a woman I see in the street. Especially after training , I can feel women looking at me , and there is always something telling me , "if i was still interested , I could do something..."

By Christmas , we will know if i can win this victory. I am not in danger at all emotionally , everything is fine with me , but I admit that I am particularly confused with the relationship I have with my sexuality and possible cheating. I feel that I have made so many efforts to have these "women close to me" , I just dont want to lose it , especially since I do not have newcomers in what we could call in the past the "harem" , although this harem is not sexual and has never been , with the exception of one woman.

What I believed would be an easy path , (not having extra marital sex to not compensate my lack of sex in my youth) is proving to be harder than I thought.
I wish I could go back pre-wedding time , and have sex every day for 2 months with two or three of these girls ,delete them and focus on my wife but I can't.


RE: The No More Adultery Thread - MichaelWitcoff - 10-05-2019 03:20 PM

There is no “victory” aside from what Christ had already won. This is your cross and you will probably always struggle with it to some degree. I’m not saying this to make you sad, but rather to protect you from the trap of believing there will be a point at which the temptation ends - because as soon as you feel you’ve overcome it and let your guard down, that is the moment you’ll end up falling and having to start over. But there is no starting over without a discrete “end point,” so it’s healthier in the long run to see the struggle as a process at which you can improve over time, but never expecting yourself to fully “arrive.” You might, if God decides to remove it from you completely, but it’s usually better not to expect anything but a rough and long-term fight. You will keep improving if you stay on the path regardless.


RE: The No More Adultery Thread - Oberrheiner - 10-11-2019 02:23 PM

(10-04-2019 11:21 AM)Polniy_Sostav Wrote:  What I believed would be an easy path , (not having extra marital sex to not compensate my lack of sex in my youth) is proving to be harder than I thought.

You cannot do this.
What you did (or did not) in the past stays so in the past and cannot be changed.
What you didn't get then, you'll never be able to compensate for - that's just the way it is.

Also many people say that you always want what you can't have, and that you lose interest in things as soon as you get them.
For me it was always the opposite : very often I can get something I have wanted in the past right after I have lost interest in it.
So sometimes I still say yes but am always disappointed.

Anyway, congrats on your decision, and of course it's a hard path.
There are only very few things in life which are both good and easy.


RE: The No More Adultery Thread - LoveBug - 10-11-2019 02:50 PM

One thing is for sure, if I get married, adultery is against the Ten Commandments

That’s why I’ll be damn sure who I marry, damn sure, if that ever happens.


RE: The No More Adultery Thread - Kungfu - 10-12-2019 01:55 PM

Cheating is definitely bad, just don't toss your manhoods in the trash in the process. Women subconsciously pick up on the fact that their man is no longer open to other women.

A man is a fisherman and a woman is a fish.

He catches her then throws her back in the water.

Fish jumps back on the boat, wants a committed relationship, then wants him to stop fishing. "Now that we're together, why do you still have your boat?"

Man tosses out his pole and boat.

Fast forward...

"You don't even have a boat no more, pussy".

That's what women do. When a man stops being what we was to get her, she's no longer interested in him.


Wise words of Patrice O'neal. 23 minutes but worth the watch.






RE: The No More Adultery Thread - Oberrheiner - 10-12-2019 02:09 PM

(10-12-2019 01:55 PM)Kungfu Wrote:  A man is a fisherman and a woman is a fish.

He catches her then throws her back in the water.

Fish jumps back on the boat, wants a committed relationship, then wants him to stop fishing. "Now that we're together, why do you still have your boat?"

Man tosses out his pole and boat.

Don't toss the boat before mrs fish gives you a batch of small fishes ..


RE: The No More Adultery Thread - Kungfu - 10-12-2019 02:16 PM

(10-12-2019 02:09 PM)Oberrheiner Wrote:  
(10-12-2019 01:55 PM)Kungfu Wrote:  A man is a fisherman and a woman is a fish.

He catches her then throws her back in the water.

Fish jumps back on the boat, wants a committed relationship, then wants him to stop fishing. "Now that we're together, why do you still have your boat?"

Man tosses out his pole and boat.

Don't toss the boat before mrs fish gives you a batch of small fishes ..

How has this system worked so far? 50% of these arrangements end in divorce and the man ruined.

Monogamy only works if women are kept loyal.


RE: The No More Adultery Thread - Dr. Howard - 10-12-2019 03:56 PM

(10-12-2019 02:16 PM)Kungfu Wrote:  
(10-12-2019 02:09 PM)Oberrheiner Wrote:  
(10-12-2019 01:55 PM)Kungfu Wrote:  A man is a fisherman and a woman is a fish.

He catches her then throws her back in the water.

Fish jumps back on the boat, wants a committed relationship, then wants him to stop fishing. "Now that we're together, why do you still have your boat?"

Man tosses out his pole and boat.

Don't toss the boat before mrs fish gives you a batch of small fishes ..

How has this system worked so far? 50% of these arrangements end in divorce and the man ruined.

Monogamy only works if women are kept loyal.

Pretty well for Christians serious about their faith, not well for those whose anchor in marriage is just a personal promise that can be broken for financial gain.

https://www.thegospelcoalition.org/article/factchecker-divorce-rate-among-christians/

apparently being Jewish cranks up the likelyhood of divorce by large margins.

Also, the baseline divorce rate from a 2008 study is how about 35% The 50% percent was from the "Oprah" first wave of divorce that eat pray love boomers went through.


RE: The No More Adultery Thread - Going strong - 10-12-2019 08:52 PM

(08-02-2019 01:11 AM)MrLemon Wrote:  In my opinion, the "no flirtation" rule is a great rule.
Now you are running game to protect your little family from the massive and never-ending evil of the world.

You are no longer the wolf. You are now the most fierce guard dog in the world. Be that guard dog.

A guard dog, even a fierce one, is still a slave pet though. Useful for his masters, but what does it get in exchange? Leftovers from the table of its masters, and a few pats on the head.

So I'm afraid that it's not by describing a married man as a "guard dog" that you'll convince single men to tie the knot.

But I'm also afraid that you're actually right, because, well, it's the current year. There were times in History when married men could still be lions and Kings, but nowadays, they're probably doomed to being, at best, "guard dogs" (often of dubious fierceness, given the current state of the West). If I marry someday, in any case, I'll try to be the master surrounded by sweet loving (non Western) cats eating from my hand, not the guard dog standing watch for little reward.


RE: The No More Adultery Thread - wwtl - 10-12-2019 11:28 PM

(10-12-2019 03:56 PM)Dr. Howard Wrote:  
(10-12-2019 02:16 PM)Kungfu Wrote:  
(10-12-2019 02:09 PM)Oberrheiner Wrote:  
(10-12-2019 01:55 PM)Kungfu Wrote:  A man is a fisherman and a woman is a fish.

He catches her then throws her back in the water.

Fish jumps back on the boat, wants a committed relationship, then wants him to stop fishing. "Now that we're together, why do you still have your boat?"

Man tosses out his pole and boat.

Don't toss the boat before mrs fish gives you a batch of small fishes ..

How has this system worked so far? 50% of these arrangements end in divorce and the man ruined.

Monogamy only works if women are kept loyal.

Pretty well for Christians serious about their faith, not well for those whose anchor in marriage is just a personal promise that can be broken for financial gain.

https://www.thegospelcoalition.org/article/factchecker-divorce-rate-among-christians/

apparently being Jewish cranks up the likelyhood of divorce by large margins.

Also, the baseline divorce rate from a 2008 study is how about 35% The 50% percent was from the "Oprah" first wave of divorce that eat pray love boomers went through.

Indeed. Instead of just looking at the general stats skewed by non-believers, wrong-believers and paper Christians, closely watch how common divorce is in your own parish, especially with those attending church. That gives you a good hint on what to expect.


RE: The No More Adultery Thread - bucky - 10-13-2019 07:07 AM

(10-03-2019 08:50 AM)Leonard D Neubache Wrote:  Well done. Living proof that a man can be more faithful than his options.

Yes. I never bought the manosphere mantra about faithfulness and options myself. Sure, a lot of guys are like that, but not a man with children and a good, loyal wife who truly cares about his family. Personally, I limit myself to noticing when girls who are younger and prettier than my wife check me out, although sometimes I worry that even the pride I take in this is sinful and a bit of a slippery slope. Nevertheless I feel like I could never take things with another women further because of the likelihood that it would cause severe pain to my wife and children and eventually destroy my family.


RE: The No More Adultery Thread - Polniy_Sostav - 10-13-2019 07:59 AM

A quick update,

I have had a few breakdowns and moments of weakness (not leading to adultery of course !) but I am still determined.
There are a few things I am realizing , since being loyal and faithful is reducing options full of adrenaline. The relationship with my wife is really great now , so I can only work to keep it at the same level and focus on parenting. Besides this , there are a lot of things which are establishing themselves as the right things to do for me to live a more healthy life.
Here are the main directions in a nutshell :

1) Keep training physically , sports is reducing the frustration and the anger . There is nothing greater than taking a shower after a hard match or a hard session , where you feel "clean" from the inside.

2) Fix problems inside family. Improve relations between brother , parents , etc and try to consolidate the spirit of family. So far I have done it with my wife and my kids , but I want to extend it . In every family there are dysfunctional things , but I believe I should be the catalyst - the one who will try to fix things and make efforts to stop divisions , often fruits of lack of communication and egotism.

3) Trying to read one book per month , on various topics (religion , geopolitics etc) to not be lazy and keep cerebral activity high. Watching YouTube is too easy.

4) Be available and provide good advice to friends ,colleagues ,etc .. offer my help when I feel that someone is in bad mood and/or has some issue. Being an attentive ear (not to everyone , but to people you know) is not only a way to help people , but to also show a good image of believers and inspire other people. I see it not only as a human duty , but as a form of light and healthy proselytism.

5) Until now , I had no idea how to prey and how to be receptive to the power of the prayer. I found a unorthodox way , I regularly listen every night to a catholic "cantor" (is that the right word?) from Ivory Coast. His voice and the lyrics of his songs act as a "benediction canal" , which allows me to fully focus on my personal contact with Jesus Christ when I pray. I estimate that I can really pray and be in a form of absolute devotion in my brain for around 5 real minutes. I would like to keep doing this every time before to sleep , as silence is really helping - at this time everyone sleeps in my household-


6) I ve kept only one girl to have contact with (and not so regular). I called her and told her that we are friends , but should her husband or my wife pass away (both ) , we would switch from friendship to official relationship/wedding. She agreed with this , so it s all fine. I hope this will never happen , and somehow I know that should we both undergo a drama , we would most likely be together. So overall , this is a very positive evolution.


RE: The No More Adultery Thread - Polniy_Sostav - 10-13-2019 08:02 AM

(10-05-2019 03:20 PM)MichaelWitcoff Wrote:  There is no “victory” aside from what Christ had already won. This is your cross and you will probably always struggle with it to some degree. I’m not saying this to make you sad, but rather to protect you from the trap of believing there will be a point at which the temptation ends - because as soon as you feel you’ve overcome it and let your guard down, that is the moment you’ll end up falling and having to start over. But there is no starting over without a discrete “end point,” so it’s healthier in the long run to see the struggle as a process at which you can improve over time, but never expecting yourself to fully “arrive.” You might, if God decides to remove it from you completely, but it’s usually better not to expect anything but a rough and long-term fight. You will keep improving if you stay on the path regardless.

Thank you , this was a very helpful answer.


RE: The No More Adultery Thread - Going strong - 10-13-2019 08:12 AM

(10-13-2019 07:59 AM)Polniy_Sostav Wrote:  A quick update,

6) I ve kept only one girl to have contact with (and not so regular). I called her and told her that we are friends , but should her husband or my wife pass away (both ) , we would switch from friendship to official relationship/wedding. She agreed...

Seriously? You actually told her that? Confused

Half of the things I, as a Single dude, read on this thread, make marriage look depressing in my eyes. Could someone please post positive, light-hearted and agreeable things, about marriage? Or is it all about sacrifice, suffering, and being a glorified "fierce guard dog"?

My father and grandfather seemed to have fun in life and marriage, though, but it was when men were still confident and wealthy Kings, and women were almost all pretty, thin, untattooed, and reasonably obedient. Nowadays, I believe marriage can only be sustainable with non-first World, traditional and somewhat humble women. Unless one is a multi millionnaire super Alpha man.


RE: The No More Adultery Thread - Polniy_Sostav - 10-13-2019 09:17 AM

Yes , we know each other for a long time , so it is OK to talk about such things. It is scary for me to imagine that if my wife dies , i will have to start everything from zero after. I would prefer to have a married woman with kid , undergoing the same tragic events , on my side , with 10+ years friendship behind. But this is a very unlikely thing to happen. Maybe it is simply a personal thing , for some reason I have always imagined the possibility of my wife dying in the future and how I could face it. And to be honest I am a bit of an ignorant , because I do not know what is the official official catholic standpoint on re-marrying after someone's death.

It is difficult to talk about the positive sides of wedding in a simple way , but I will try to express what comes in my mind right now. I guess the majority of things are not personal advantages , but advantages in the very long term to perpetuate the well-being of your family , by instilling a zest of morality in every aspect of life. I actually do not talk about wedding itself , it is relatively useless without kids. I cannot talk about the Bible or things like this , so I will try to keep concrete thoughts :

- Your kids benefit from the union of the mother and the father. Assuming that the wedding is not dysfunctional and full of conflicts , kids are more prone to be healthy in mind, to respect authority , to be competent intellectually , and to be at peace with themselves. So you have more chance to have children caring about you when old , and having a good life , and then , consequently , having good grandchildren and so on. Talking about the country I know , it is not a secret that most aristocratic families before the 1789 revolution (and even after) were very strong Catholics. It probably helped to keep a high level of discipline and morals.

- As a married couple , you have a direction , you have perspectives. You don't have to think about "maybe with this girl it will work" , or "maybe in a few years i will look for a serious one" etc... Your wife is here , and you are with her. Probably not a great comparison , but it s like having a phone or a car , which will work all your life , and which wont have planned obsolescence. It is having a clear horizon in front of you , you have to find the cruise speed , instead of turning left and right to find your way.

- You learn how to control your frustrations , and how to make positive things out of obstacles. This makes you less thin-skinned , gives you more "consistence". You cannot jump "dump" the girl when there is something wrong because one of your challenge is to keep your wedding healthy. So you start to be more creative , and to solve issues in more diplomatic ways etc... of course assuming you have a partner who has the same view of religion than you. I guess the same applies to your wife , fighting her own demons and finding solutions to accept your leadership and your presence.

- It can even help your career , being married before the age of 30 and having many kids is often seen as a sign of seriousness in many cultures. Not sure about the USA , but surely in Turkey , Albania or Ukraine you will rarely see a top manager of a certain age without wife or kid. I am aware this might be irrelevant in most rich countries , but still I would always be suspicious to give a job to someone who divorced 3 times or who is not married at 45 years old.

- You focus on your kids more than yourself , you "give away" your free time , this makes you less obsessed about unimportant things ( going out , watching sports on TV etc) and develop other qualities. You have to convey authority , and yet be credible. It is not very easy. You have to be here for your family , you have more weight on your shoulders , and you have to fight more to get a good job , there is no room to be lazy or spending nights playing video games or in the club because there are many people who need you at home to be in control of things.

- Ask yourself what lifestyle was more respectable. Your grandfather's ? or "the average one nowadays". It is of course very difficult to find a good woman for this , but if you believe it is your grandfather's , then there is no need of theological discussion to understand that you will comply to a more noble lifestyle if you marry. This investment , might cost you a lot in terms of personal freedom , but will be a testimony on how we are able to keep our traditions . Somehow , it is a form of respect for our ancestors. One should not succumb to the evil forces and the peer pressure telling us that wedding is outdated and useless. The more people like us , the more people may believe that this is the right way.

- In general , it is like having a lifetime contract. You respect the woman who gave you kids and (ideally) her best years , by not giving her up when she starts to get older and when this age conflicts with the young women becoming more attractive than her. Being married , even though the title of this thread might imply the contrary , reduces a lot the risks of being promiscuous. So you are "thanking" your wife for being not promiscuous during the time she could abuse this power. I guess this is what women are actually looking for deep inside . Someone not giving her up because other women will be more attractive on long term. Maybe wedding is the ultimate form of feminism , somehow , but the noble one which differentiates us from other cultures not allowing women to eat with the presence of men or go out in the street on her own , not the modern one. Being married in 2019 is then almost an act of bravery and a defiance against the globohomo agenda.

To conclude , there is no real immediate benefit of being married for a man. It is a long road paved with obstacles , but little by little it makes you a better person , and at peace with yourself. Interior life is much more important than the "outside" , and this cannot be taken away from you even after the worst physical tortures. Getting married and raising kids , and accepting monogamy is a big challenge , it frustrates you , but what you get back emotionally and internally in exchange on long term , is always more positive than negative.

I am sorry that I cannot explain better. I hope other forum members find a way to explain better in their mother tongue.

I will always remember the words of an orthodox priest (although I am Catholic) who said that wedding is the union of a man and a woman with God , and not an union of a man and a woman. I guess this sums up how more beautiful , ambitious , and respectful is to be married as opposed to have "free" relationships.


RE: The No More Adultery Thread - bucky - 10-13-2019 09:32 AM

(10-13-2019 08:12 AM)Going strong Wrote:  
(10-13-2019 07:59 AM)Polniy_Sostav Wrote:  A quick update,

6) I ve kept only one girl to have contact with (and not so regular). I called her and told her that we are friends , but should her husband or my wife pass away (both ) , we would switch from friendship to official relationship/wedding. She agreed...

Seriously? You actually told her that? Confused

Half of the things I, as a Single dude, read on this thread, make marriage look depressing in my eyes. Could someone please post positive, light-hearted and agreeable things, about marriage? Or is it all about sacrifice, suffering, and being a glorified "fierce guard dog"?

My father and grandfather seemed to have fun in life and marriage, though, but it was when men were still confident and wealthy Kings, and women were almost all pretty, thin, untattooed, and reasonably obedient. Nowadays, I believe marriage can only be sustainable with non-first World, traditional and somewhat humble women. Unless one is a multi millionnaire super Alpha man.

I'm happily married with kids. I would never behave as OP has toward his wife, including trying to be "just friends" with a side piece that he obviously wants to bang. Admirable that he's trying to be a loyal husband, but he still has a long way to go. My rule of thumb with women I want to nail is don't talk to them.

I notice other girls checking me out from time to time. It's nice for my ego, but I never take it further than that. Anything else is a slippery slope where I risk hurting my children and my wife and potentially destroying my family, and my family is by far the most precious thing in my life. My wife is a wonderful, loyal woman and deserves better. To be honest, she is from south of the border and generally exponentially better wife material than your typical American woman. You might be right about white girls being a lost cause. It's not easy for single guys out there who want what I have.


RE: The No More Adultery Thread - Dr. Howard - 10-13-2019 09:51 AM

(10-13-2019 09:32 AM)bucky Wrote:  
(10-13-2019 08:12 AM)Going strong Wrote:  
(10-13-2019 07:59 AM)Polniy_Sostav Wrote:  A quick update,

6) I ve kept only one girl to have contact with (and not so regular). I called her and told her that we are friends , but should her husband or my wife pass away (both ) , we would switch from friendship to official relationship/wedding. She agreed...

Seriously? You actually told her that? Confused

Half of the things I, as a Single dude, read on this thread, make marriage look depressing in my eyes. Could someone please post positive, light-hearted and agreeable things, about marriage? Or is it all about sacrifice, suffering, and being a glorified "fierce guard dog"?

My father and grandfather seemed to have fun in life and marriage, though, but it was when men were still confident and wealthy Kings, and women were almost all pretty, thin, untattooed, and reasonably obedient. Nowadays, I believe marriage can only be sustainable with non-first World, traditional and somewhat humble women. Unless one is a multi millionnaire super Alpha man.

I'm happily married with kids. I would never behave as OP has toward his wife, including trying to be "just friends" with a side piece that he obviously wants to bang. Admirable that he's trying to be a loyal husband, but he still has a long way to go. My rule of thumb with women I want to nail is don't talk to them.

I notice other girls checking me out from time to time. It's nice for my ego, but I never take it further than that. Anything else is a slippery slope where I risk hurting my children and my wife and potentially destroying my family, and my family is by far the most precious thing in my life. My wife is a wonderful, loyal woman and deserves better. To be honest, she is from south of the border and generally exponentially better wife material than your typical American woman. You might be right about white girls being a lost cause. It's not easy for single guys out there who want what I have.

The judgement on this thread is strong. I have been in the poster's shoes before in my first marriage.

An adulterous relationship, especially with another woman who is married is like crack cocaine.

You and the other woman form a strong bond because you are "co-conspirators" against the world, and "no one understands you". Its like teenagers vs. their parents. You see all of the positives about your fornication partner, and you both complain about your spouses and see all of their negatives, because it justifies what you are doing. You see the other person only in secret, and communicate in secret and so your relationship exists in a bubble of isolated anti-reality that the two of you prop up. Because there are no outside influences it becomes the 'perfect' relationship. You meet, you fornicate, you spend the time not fornicating planning about how to fornicate again, how 'no one understands your relationship' and your spouses are terrible.

However, there is only one way to stop, that is to cease all contact with this other woman. In my case, we got caught and STILL kept contacting each other. The thing that helped me end it, and cut things off with her was when I was divorced and single, and she was still married I could see how I was enabling her to damage her family and husband. I did not care about my own spouse, but her husband was an innocent party. Like anything with a woman, it is your job as a man to lead the way and make the right choices for yourself and for her.

Don't make any contingency plans with her, explain that you can't poison the marriages anymore and no one is going to move forward if the two of you have any contact.