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Broke up with my gf because of her past - loremipsum - 09-10-2019 06:45 AM

We had been over 2 years together, but I found out she has been with at least 10 ONS, and has had only mini LTRs with bad boys. God only knows what the real number is. She lost her virginity at 13, shes 23.

I honestly thought I was filtering the red flags. Intact good family, anti-feminist, conservative, slim, long hair. There's only (1) redflag that I missed and it was one of her friend and no previous LTRs.

Not sure if I am going to regret this, as this has been in my mind for a while and have mentally prepare myself for this day to come.

I don't feel like even seeing other women. What's the point of fornicating with sluts or collecting notches, you banged her - great, so has others.
Even as I am now becoming more spiritual, I want nothing to do with the hookup culture. It's bad for your soul and it's bad for women. I can't criticize sluts yet be part in enabling them, it's male hamsterization at it's finest.

When I first heard about her past I started looking similar posts on RVF and many people adviced others in same situation to go with their gut. I thought, my gut has been wrong before I can do it. It literally felt like my gut was on fire for the last months, it's something innate in men. I thought I could forget those feelings, that I was somehow stronger than men older than me here who have written extensive posts on the subject.

I wonder if I did the right thing, but the feeling in my gut would not leave me. I saw dreams of her last night in the days we met, and felt childlike longing, but waking up realized that it was nothing how the relationship really was, merely an idea in my dreams.


RE: Broke up with my gf because of her past - Bienvenuto - 09-10-2019 07:05 AM

My experience is that no one woman (with few exceptions) is ever really that great or irreplaceable.

So, even if by some crazy stretch (sounds like you did the right thing) it was somehow a bad decision - who cares? There are so many more women who are as good and probably much better than her out there for you to meet.


RE: Broke up with my gf because of her past - loremipsum - 09-10-2019 07:10 AM

Thank you for your reply, I really appreciate at this point.


RE: Broke up with my gf because of her past - JiggyLordJr - 09-10-2019 07:15 AM

Think you made the right choice. I've noticed that with the moral turn the forum has taken, a lot of members have embarked on spiritual journies. The process of seeking insight often leads to certain realizations, for one that dating a slut leads nowhere good. And this can be difficult info to attain, as it seems you had already screened for flags. The best you can do is take some time to get your life straight and attain me teal clarity.


RE: Broke up with my gf because of her past - wwtl - 09-10-2019 08:08 AM

Is the girl really on fire for you or is she incapable of bonding already?

That answers the question, not how your one-itis feels like.


RE: Broke up with my gf because of her past - loremipsum - 09-10-2019 08:16 AM

(09-10-2019 08:08 AM)wwtl Wrote:  Is the girl really on fire for you or is she incapable of bonding already?

That answers the question, not how your one-itis feels like.

She was a bit more bitchy than other girls. She cooked and cleaned, and had a job, had good relationship with her family etc.
When she told me about her pasts she also told me how she can't trust men and after that point it all got clear in my head that I need to escape asap. I tried to rationalize it, but tough luck. I realized that it was not the bitchiness of typical bitches, it was some kind of revenge against men type of thing.

Honestly I don't know where to go from this point on in relationships. Good luck finding a virgin in this day and age of social media. And if not a virgin, she should at at least have had an LTR, not hookups. I pray that God leads me the way.


RE: Broke up with my gf because of her past - Simeon_Strangelight - 09-10-2019 08:18 AM

There are other women out there.

These are huge red flags and I can't say whether that is wrong. I knew girls who dated Alpha Players and were faithful only to one guy while he was fucking around other girls. This is a better mindset.


RE: Broke up with my gf because of her past - General Mayhem - 09-10-2019 09:32 AM

(09-10-2019 06:45 AM)loremipsum Wrote:  I honestly thought I was filtering the red flags. Intact good family, anti-feminist, conservative, slim, long hair. There's only (1) redflag that I missed and it was one of her friend and no previous LTRs.

(09-10-2019 08:16 AM)loremipsum Wrote:  She was a bit more bitchy than other girls. She cooked and cleaned, and had a job, had good relationship with her family etc.
When she told me about her pasts she also told me how she can't trust men and after that point it all got clear in my head that I need to escape asap. I tried to rationalize it, but tough luck. I realized that it was not the bitchiness of typical bitches, it was some kind of revenge against men type of thing.

Did you ever figure out what in her past got her feeling that she couldn't trust men?

The reason I ask is because most of the behavioral flaws in my ex I could trace back to issues with her family. Even though time had healed a lot of wounds and the family was still intact, a lot of damage had been done during her formative years.

As far as the rest of your feelings about the path ahead, you are not alone. Since my breakup I've talked to other forum members who have made the hard decision to leave mostly good women for one reason or another. It's not uncommon.

I can relate to a lot of the feelings you are having with my own breakup. The future seems bleak when you look at the state of women right now, but you shouldn't dwell on that.

The piece of advice I am trying to follow is not to worry too much about where to find good girls and virgins. I have believed for a long time that people attract the kind of relationships they deserve.

Focus on being the man you want to be, living the life you want to live, woman or no woman, and keep your trust in God. It sounds like you have realized that you aren't going to find the type of woman you want if you are living the hookup culture lifestyle.

That being said, it's tough to replace a good LTR because you have built something over time that can't be replaced quickly. Don't try to rush that.


RE: Broke up with my gf because of her past - Simeon_Strangelight - 09-10-2019 09:39 AM

Have some Red Pill to savor that - though I would like to add that any man can become a better man, but there is a lot of truth in those cartoons:

[Don't share pornographic cartoons -Mod]


RE: Broke up with my gf because of her past - loremipsum - 09-10-2019 09:47 AM

(09-10-2019 09:32 AM)General Mayhem Wrote:  
(09-10-2019 06:45 AM)loremipsum Wrote:  I honestly thought I was filtering the red flags. Intact good family, anti-feminist, conservative, slim, long hair. There's only (1) redflag that I missed and it was one of her friend and no previous LTRs.

(09-10-2019 08:16 AM)loremipsum Wrote:  She was a bit more bitchy than other girls. She cooked and cleaned, and had a job, had good relationship with her family etc.
When she told me about her pasts she also told me how she can't trust men and after that point it all got clear in my head that I need to escape asap. I tried to rationalize it, but tough luck. I realized that it was not the bitchiness of typical bitches, it was some kind of revenge against men type of thing.

Did you ever figure out what in her past got her feeling that she couldn't trust men?

The reason I ask is because most of the behavioral flaws in my ex I could trace back to issues with her family. Even though time had healed a lot of wounds and the family was still intact, a lot of damage had been done during her formative years.

As far as the rest of your feelings about the path ahead, you are not alone. Since my breakup I've talked to other forum members who have made the hard decision to leave mostly good women for one reason or another. It's not uncommon.

I can relate to a lot of the feelings you are having with my own breakup. The future seems bleak when you look at the state of women right now, but you shouldn't dwell on that.

The piece of advice I am trying to follow is not to worry too much about where to find good girls and virgins. I have believed for a long time that people attract the kind of relationships they deserve.

Focus on being the man you want to be, living the life you want to live, woman or no woman, and keep your trust in God. It sounds like you have realized that you aren't going to find the type of woman you want if you are living the hookup culture lifestyle.

That being said, it's tough to replace a good LTR because you have built something over time that can't be replaced quickly. Don't try to rush that.

She said she had been dumped and ghosted and switched to hotter girls (in other words pumped and dumped by bad boys.) There must be a reason why she is attracted to such people in the first place.


RE: Broke up with my gf because of her past - questor70 - 09-10-2019 10:22 AM

In the past I used to rationalize my feelings for women that I simply DID NOT RESPECT. It's not that they had no good qualities, but I was struggling over the bad ones. I felt like I had to manufacture excuses for them which I'd need to pull out if I were to ever introduce them to friends and family. That's pretty much the definition of white-knighting there and I think it eventually ruins the relationship one way or another. Women are going to sense that she doesn't measure up in your eyes no matter how much you try to hide it.

All women you meet are going to have baggage of some kind and the baggage only accumulates as you get older and are forced to date older (as I'm discovering). So as a practical matter I really don't know where to draw the line. But I know I have my own priority list of red-flags. Raw bodycount is lower down. Cheating or being the "other woman" in an affair is at the top. I'm less concerned about how long a relationship is gonna last than I am about keeping it honest while it's active. Respect comes from admiring a woman's value-system. I've learned that women tend to only follow rules when they know they can't get away with breaking them, so the more a woman convinces me she believes in rules (as a matter of principle) the more it impresses me. That's kind of the "real" virtue-signal, standing for personal virtue like honesty and loyalty.


RE: Broke up with my gf because of her past - ThriceLazarus - 09-10-2019 11:29 AM

I was in a similar situation, and made a similar choice. In most cases, formative sexual experiences become the bedrock of who we are as a person. In the case of the woman you left, she - like many others - has compartmentalized her identity. This is natural, we all do it. However, the issue here is that that buried identity, that black pearl, will always be within her. You could feel it - that who you were with was a facade, a persona. Did you make the right choice? Who knows. Probably, as everything which is done and doing and to be done is in line with the Will. What is good and what is bad.

This brings me to a tangential point, the reason I came here to ramble.

If your gut is healthy always trust it. The enteric nervous system is massive compared to that blob bumbling about in our brain-cases. And so much more sensitive. It is directly responsible for producing and managing the vast majority of our serotonin. As Men in this modern age we have lost our connection to that belly brain - it’s coated in layers of toxic fat, stippled with micro-polyps encasing heavy metals/radioactive materials/dyes and preservatives/etc, and we’ve been conditioned (most of us) to shut out that voice and go with the flow.

So, to bring it back, if you are healthy, if you move through the world with integrity, have faith in yourself. Faith in yourself is faith in the Self is faith in GOD.


RE: Broke up with my gf because of her past - loremipsum - 09-10-2019 11:40 AM

(09-10-2019 11:29 AM)ThriceLazarus Wrote:  I was in a similar situation, and made a similar choice. In most cases, formative sexual experiences become the bedrock of who we are as a person. In the case of the woman you left, she - like many others - has compartmentalized her identity. This is natural, we all do it. However, the issue here is that that buried identity, that black pearl, will always be within her. You could feel it - that who you were with was a facade, a persona. Did you make the right choice? Who knows. Probably, as everything which is done and doing and to be done is in line with the Will. What is good and what is bad.

This brings me to a tangential point, the reason I came here to ramble.

If your gut is healthy always trust it. The enteric nervous system is massive compared to that blob bumbling about in our brain-cases. And so much more sensitive. It is directly responsible for producing and managing the vast majority of our serotonin. As Men in this modern age we have lost our connection to that belly brain - it’s coated in layers of toxic fat, stippled with micro-polyps encasing heavy metals/radioactive materials/dyes and preservatives/etc, and we’ve been conditioned (most of us) to shut out that voice and go with the flow.

So, to bring it back, if you are healthy, if you move through the world with integrity, have faith in yourself. Faith in yourself is faith in the Self is faith in GOD.

I have had gut feelings that feel like the worse nausea, but only leave when you do something psychological, such as in this case leave the girl.
I guess I should also admit that I had almost two week case of nausea in my gut because of her stories, went to doctors and they found nothing. When I left her the feeling left, just like that. If I still think about the stories it might come back for the time thinking, but I think that's a good sign.


RE: Broke up with my gf because of her past - SilentOne - 09-10-2019 01:17 PM

I'm afraid the girl you are looking for is a unicorn. We live in a world of sexual liberation. Women lose their virginity on the average by age 16 and that's being generous. It's the easiest thing a girl can do and we know they will choose the easiest path in life most of the time. In the past they were held in check by men with a backbone, but now they can run loose with no real consequences until they age 40 and no men feel like dealing with them anymore.

I didn't see anything about her breaking her bond with you by cheating. Her past is her past. No one is perfect. As long as she is willing to follow your lead I don't see a problem. You may have to just go monk mode if that bothers you too much. That is a good option to preserve yourself.

Trust your gut. Don't ask women for their body count. You won't like their answer anyway.


RE: Broke up with my gf because of her past - NoMoreTO - 09-10-2019 02:11 PM

I think you made the right call. But I am seeing a couple more red flags, at least what would be red flags for me:
- If she lost her virginity at 13, that is a red flag.
- If she has had 10 One Night Stands, that is a red flag

Yes, the majority of girls get around, as mentioned above - but not all.

Also, if you are not comfortable that she got around in the past, I would doubt those feelings will diminish after you are married.

I assume you are fairly young if she is 23, so you will get a chance to find someone who has more purity or some semblance of it. Who has not had so many 'mini relationships'. Maybe get a girl who is 23 and had one Long Term Relationship, or a couple LTRs with very short stints of being single. Smart move on your part looking at her friends, its very typical to meet the girl who plays the part of the responsible friend to the slutty one, but that is just an act she puts on for you.

I have an ex gf from a few years back who cooked for me all the time, wasn't a feminist at all, was a perfect girl to intro to my parents brought flowers and behaved with class. Still I knew what was up with her, similar situation to you but different, and in the end I was right. So from my vantage its a good call.


RE: Broke up with my gf because of her past - loremipsum - 09-10-2019 02:15 PM

"its very typical to meet the girl who plays the part of the responsible friend to the slutty one, but that is just an act she puts on for you."
If only I had read this very sentence earlier, damn. You described her perfectly. Holy shit.


RE: Broke up with my gf because of her past - MichaelWitcoff - 09-10-2019 02:42 PM

I think you made a good decision. What's the use in being with a "conservative anti-feminist" who lives exactly the same way as the most radically "progressive" feminist? Ignore what she calls herself and look at how she lives.


RE: Broke up with my gf because of her past - Simeon_Strangelight - 09-10-2019 04:22 PM

This one is titled The Past is the Past:

[Image: 41HtNg9.jpg]


RE: Broke up with my gf because of her past - SilentOne - 09-10-2019 05:17 PM

(09-10-2019 04:22 PM)Simeon_Strangelight Wrote:  This one is titled The Past is the Past:

[Image: 41HtNg9.jpg]

The glaring problem here is that he's getting married. A ticking time bomb. As I mentioned earlier to any guys reading, do not ask your significant other about how many guys she has slept with. Regardless if shes lieing or not, you will not like her response. It is also why they lie. You can't handle the truth.

If you thing the girl by you is sewing clothes or baking cookies when she's not around you, I'm afraid you are naive.


RE: Broke up with my gf because of her past - General Mayhem - 09-10-2019 06:13 PM

(09-10-2019 05:17 PM)SilentOne Wrote:  
(09-10-2019 04:22 PM)Simeon_Strangelight Wrote:  This one is titled The Past is the Past:

[Image: 41HtNg9.jpg]

The glaring problem here is that he's getting married. A ticking time bomb. As I mentioned earlier to any guys reading, do not ask your significant other about how many guys she has slept with. Regardless if shes lieing or not, you will not like her response. It is also why they lie. You can't handle the truth.

If you thing the girl by you is sewing clothes or baking cookies when she's not around you, I'm afraid you are naive.

I had a friend in college who married a girl who he broke up with previously for cheating on him in vegas. Still don't know how he rationalized that one.


RE: Broke up with my gf because of her past - Roosh - 09-11-2019 12:05 AM

If a woman has pre-marital sex, how "good" can she really be? She has zero control over her lusts, just like you. When you stop fornicating, you start to train your eyes to notice a different type of girl.


RE: Broke up with my gf because of her past - MusicForThePiano - 09-11-2019 12:37 AM

(09-11-2019 12:05 AM)Roosh Wrote:  If a woman has pre-marital sex, how "good" can she really be? She has zero control over her lusts, just like you. When you stop fornicating, you start to train your eyes to notice a different type of girl.

Have you met any yet since you've been back here in the U.S.? I feel like I'm always surrounded by harpies, npc sluts, and jezebels. I also have noticed this effect of looking for a different type of girl, but I can't tell for sure if the creature I'm looking at is just in her bedside manners. I've seen snakes shed skins slower than some women can with their personality; sweet one instance, then in a nanosecond they are possessed by some evil incarnate.


RE: Broke up with my gf because of her past - SilentOne - 09-11-2019 12:55 AM

(09-11-2019 12:05 AM)Roosh Wrote:  If a woman has pre-marital sex, how "good" can she really be? She has zero control over her lusts, just like you. When you stop fornicating, you start to train your eyes to notice a different type of girl.

I'm not sure what you mean by "good". That first sentence alone wipes out over 95 percent of the female gender.


RE: Broke up with my gf because of her past - Tikimalore - 09-11-2019 12:58 AM

How do you find a girl which is over 25 with less than 10 different sex partners ? Nearly impossible.


RE: Broke up with my gf because of her past - loremipsum - 09-11-2019 07:50 AM

(09-11-2019 12:05 AM)Roosh Wrote:  If a woman has pre-marital sex, how "good" can she really be? She has zero control over her lusts, just like you. When you stop fornicating, you start to train your eyes to notice a different type of girl.
(09-11-2019 12:58 AM)Tikimalore Wrote:  How do you find a girl which is over 25 with less than 10 different sex partners ? Nearly impossible.

Then it comes down to the eternal question of what is a good notch count for a woman.
3? 4?
The difference between 3 and 10 is time. Her views of sex are already screwed for life with the the first couple hookups. If a girl is not religious, she's already a slut in heart. It's one man against society. Even having parents with intact family won't help a thing anymore.

I would not settle for a non virgin with the intent to spend the rest of the life with her. That was first my foolish intent with this woman, because of her conservative appearance. I knew she was not a virgin as she is an atheist woman in 2019, but I was so stupid to think her self proclaimed "forever single" meant that she had problems finding a suitable, masculine bf from all the beta males. Maybe she's been with a couple dudes in her life, it's only maybe a 3 guys and not from bars, I thought.

Perhaps my opinions will change as years go by and the difficulty becomes a realization, or maybe they won't and I will become the old man here talking about looking unicorns. For now it's no hymen no diamond.