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The curse of attraction to a specific physical attribute - RawGod - 09-20-2019 12:42 AM

Do you have a specific body part or attribute in women that makes you weak at the knees?

For example:

*Big butt
*Perfect boobs/big boobs
*Blond hair/blue eyes combo
*Sexy voice

Whatever it is, its hold on you is strong, and to find it in a woman is rare.

As for my fetish, I won't say what it is, but maybe 1 in 20 women or fewer has it, and while I've had short term relationships with women who have it, I've never been in an LTR with a woman who possesses my particular kryptonite.

I find my eyes wandering whenever I'm in a relationship with a normal, attractive woman who doesn't possess this specific, cursed attribute. It's like evolution telling me to throw away everything just to scratch this itch.

Is it worth holding out for a woman who has it? Or should a man just ignore it?


RE: The curse of attraction to a specific physical attribute - Leonard D Neubache - 09-20-2019 12:52 AM

Is it something that will disappear during the ageing process?


RE: The curse of attraction to a specific physical attribute - RawGod - 09-20-2019 01:00 AM

(09-20-2019 12:52 AM)Leonard D Neubache Wrote:  Is it something that will disappear during the ageing process?

Mostly yes. But the time she's 35 my eyes will be wandering to the 22 year olds who have it, if I don't control myself.

If you can't relate to the "specific fetish", think of it as "being a 9/10". I'm distracted by the 9s I see, have never scored one for a LTR, and wonder if I should hold out for that 9/10. The difference being that 9/10s are sought after by everyone, while not everyone values my fetish attribute, so these women aren't necessarily super high in SMV, just hard to find.


RE: The curse of attraction to a specific physical attribute - Leonard D Neubache - 09-20-2019 01:08 AM

I suspect you need to kill the fetish by any means necessary if you want to lead a happy, wholesome family household at some point in the future. It sounds like an unhealthy psychological disorder, albeit a socially harmless one if you're not in a committed monogamous relationship.

As to the how, well I'm not sure about that. Of late I'd suggest issue-specific-prayer to remove this unhelpful desire. But if you're not in that space then that's not suitable for you.


RE: The curse of attraction to a specific physical attribute - loremipsum - 09-20-2019 02:27 AM

Flat stomach. Sadly in this age of fat women it seems to be more rare than any of the things OP listed.
I need to get over it since that's one of the things which will change due to childbirth, if I were to meet my future wife.


RE: The curse of attraction to a specific physical attribute - loremipsum - 09-20-2019 02:28 AM

edit:double post


RE: The curse of attraction to a specific physical attribute - Bienvenuto - 09-20-2019 02:35 AM

(09-20-2019 02:27 AM)loremipsum Wrote:  Flat stomach. Sadly in this age of fat women it seems to be more rare than any of the things OP listed.
I need to get over it since that's one of the things which will change due to childbirth, if I were to meet my future wife.

Mate in this day and age that's like - your Jason and the Argonauts seeking The Golden Fleece.


RE: The curse of attraction to a specific physical attribute - Koolman - 09-20-2019 03:18 AM

my fetish: dark curly hair with dark eyes.


RE: The curse of attraction to a specific physical attribute - MichaelWitcoff - 09-20-2019 03:38 AM

You're in for a rough life if women can make you weak. Overcome the reaction you have to beauty and you will know a freedom that few men do.


RE: The curse of attraction to a specific physical attribute - Devilsdice - 09-20-2019 04:26 AM

Whatever the nature of your specific fetish is of minor significance compared to the real issues that the fetish masks: your fear of intimacy which is itself a fear of Death, and your evident passivity which is itself a fear of Life.

Your fear of intimacy is revealed because you have allowed yourself to get into long-term relationships with women who do not have this feature. Why do this if you know from the beginning that the relationship is doomed to fail? The first time is excusable because you perhaps hoped that the fetish would be extinguished (at least consciously) but the later relationships would have been entered into knowing full well that they were futile. Alongside this you have had short-term relationships with women who do have the desired feature, and yet those relationships have fallen apart- either through your sabotage during the relationship or before it when you selected a woman with the feature who could not be a long term match.

The obvious solution is to go out into the world specifically looking for women with the desired feature and also with the other personality features that are essential for a generative long-term relationship. But you haven't done that, you have come and posted about your fetish on an internet forum.

Which brings us to your passivity- which, as I asserted above, is a fear of Life. You refuse to go out into the world to find and secure as your own a woman who is a suitable match for you, by your own standards, for a generative long-term relationship. Why?

Answer that question for yourself honestly and you will have the knowledge you need to move forward. But even that knowledge will not serve as a substitute for Courage, which is the virtue you must cultivate through action.


RE: The curse of attraction to a specific physical attribute - JiggyLordJr - 09-20-2019 06:29 AM

Stop watching porn, and this specific "preference" will fade into black. I learned this from firsthand experience. Aside from physical signs of fertility, there is no reason that one aspect of a woman should take precedence over the others. Because men are very wired to visual stimuli, the dopamine released when we view our "preference" serves to further reinforce it. Whether be on a screen (porn/media) or in real life (gf/chick you saw), any specific preference is artificial, and most likely wired unconsciously through constant hypersexualized exposure. Luckily, most fetishes can be unlearned.

The only real preference a man will have is his natural inclination towards feminine women. Sadly, this gets buried due to 1) Lack of such women available and 2) Stronger visual stimuli crowding it out. Hence, you have men who are "butt" guys, yet can't find a feminine woman to save their life.

Cut out the porn and go back to your roots.


RE: The curse of attraction to a specific physical attribute - Augustus_Principe - 09-20-2019 09:17 AM

I agree with the responses given so far. The best thing you can do right now is to quit pornography. Second, quit masturbation but if you cannot quit cold turkey, lessen the amount of times you do so until you just dont feel the need for that "release" anymore. It will take some time, but its possible. The easiest way to do this is to turn to Christianity.

Doing the above should start the recovery process within you. As far as your preferred attributes, it doesn't sound like it would be impossible to find a woman with them, except for this fetish part you refuse to tell us about. In any case, clear your mind of all the forced, sexual stimuli that you have been fed for all these years and it should make it easier for you to find the girl that you want.

Anyway, the attributes that grab my attention instantly are:
White, pale skin
Brunette hair
Blue/grey eyes
Modest attire
Sweet/shy personality.

We all have our preferred looks, but best to not "Idolize" such idea, because you will make it unattainable in your mind since you basically worshiped the idea of such a woman for so long.


RE: The curse of attraction to a specific physical attribute - loremipsum - 09-20-2019 10:36 AM

(09-20-2019 02:35 AM)Bienvenuto Wrote:  
(09-20-2019 02:27 AM)loremipsum Wrote:  Flat stomach. Sadly in this age of fat women it seems to be more rare than any of the things OP listed.
I need to get over it since that's one of the things which will change due to childbirth, if I were to meet my future wife.

Mate in this day and age that's like - your Jason and the Argonauts seeking The Golden Fleece.

I know, but it's still up there in my top list and luckily I have my experiences of being with women having it.
Fucking alcohol man, these bitches in the west have gotten the beer gut only bums had the means to acquire.


RE: The curse of attraction to a specific physical attribute - PapayaTapper - 09-20-2019 11:19 AM

(09-20-2019 01:00 AM)RawGod Wrote:  
(09-20-2019 12:52 AM)Leonard D Neubache Wrote:  Is it something that will disappear during the ageing process?

Mostly yes. But the time she's 35 my eyes will be wandering to the 22 year olds who have it, if I don't control myself.

If you can't relate to the "specific fetish", think of it as "being a 9/10". I'm distracted by the 9s I see, have never scored one for a LTR, and wonder if I should hold out for that 9/10. The difference being that 9/10s are sought after by everyone, while not everyone values my fetish attribute, so these women aren't necessarily super high in SMV, just hard to find.

Have hope amigo...Most any woman's gag reflex can be eliminated with proper training, practice and determination


RE: The curse of attraction to a specific physical attribute - Laner - 09-20-2019 11:26 AM

(09-20-2019 10:36 AM)loremipsum Wrote:  
(09-20-2019 02:35 AM)Bienvenuto Wrote:  
(09-20-2019 02:27 AM)loremipsum Wrote:  Flat stomach. Sadly in this age of fat women it seems to be more rare than any of the things OP listed.
I need to get over it since that's one of the things which will change due to childbirth, if I were to meet my future wife.

Mate in this day and age that's like - your Jason and the Argonauts seeking The Golden Fleece.

I know, but it's still up there in my top list and luckily I have my experiences of being with women having it.
Fucking alcohol man, these bitches in the west have gotten the beer gut only bums had the means to acquire.

Don't fall for that. Flat stomachs after childbirth are common. It just takes slightly more work than no work at all.


RE: The curse of attraction to a specific physical attribute - KMK - 09-20-2019 05:03 PM

(09-20-2019 06:29 AM)JiggyLordJr Wrote:  Stop watching porn, and this specific "preference" will fade into black. I learned this from firsthand experience. Aside from physical signs of fertility, there is no reason that one aspect of a woman should take precedence over the others. Because men are very wired to visual stimuli, the dopamine released when we view our "preference" serves to further reinforce it. Whether be on a screen (porn/media) or in real life (gf/chick you saw), any specific preference is artificial, and most likely wired unconsciously through constant hypersexualized exposure. Luckily, most fetishes can be unlearned.

The only real preference a man will have is his natural inclination towards feminine women. Sadly, this gets buried due to 1) Lack of such women available and 2) Stronger visual stimuli crowding it out. Hence, you have men who are "butt" guys, yet can't find a feminine woman to save their life.

Cut out the porn and go back to your roots.

The last time I watched porn was about 10 years ago but I still have a very strong type preference.


RE: The curse of attraction to a specific physical attribute - Rush87 - 09-20-2019 05:13 PM

A cute smile. It's the devils way of tricking you into thinking this girl couldn't be anything but sweet.


RE: The curse of attraction to a specific physical attribute - Repo - 09-20-2019 07:35 PM

Funny that some people just straight assume porn like it couldnt possible be from being with their preferred type of woman countless times in their life. I like big butts and full lips because that's what I've had my entire life. Never going to change.


RE: The curse of attraction to a specific physical attribute - RoadKill503 - 09-20-2019 07:56 PM

Slavic accents get me every time.


RE: The curse of attraction to a specific physical attribute - questor70 - 09-21-2019 11:46 AM

Wide-eyed, perky, girl-next-door neoteny. There's something about my type that screams "It's safe to approach me. I like everyone."

[Image: 54db661514a03_-_sev-annasophia-robb-de.j...size=480:*]

[Image: f5c7b225-eb8e-46ef-961e-3382253bcbd6_1.e...nBg=FFFFFF]

[Image: 300?cb=20161029020226]

[Image: Amy+Adams+set+Enchanted+OtMoEj8yVUul.jpg]

This look has probably always been unicorn rare but is rarer than ever these days.


RE: The curse of attraction to a specific physical attribute - tomzestatlu - 09-21-2019 12:58 PM

Long slim legs
Thin waist
Blond hair
Blue eyes

Sometimes it is very difficult for me not to be focused only on these atributs and go for other girls. I can get attracted to girls who are not like this of course, but sometimes I just overlook them. Which is not good.
When I meet girl like this, it´s like something inside myself is shouting "go get these genes".


RE: The curse of attraction to a specific physical attribute - Eban - 09-21-2019 03:51 PM

@RawGod --- Please tell us the fetish you have, I am so curious.


RE: The curse of attraction to a specific physical attribute - idolatry - 09-21-2019 04:03 PM

(09-20-2019 01:08 AM)Leonard D Neubache Wrote:  I suspect you need to kill the fetish by any means necessary if you want to lead a happy, wholesome family household at some point in the future. It sounds like an unhealthy psychological disorder, albeit a socially harmless one if you're not in a committed monogamous relationship.

As to the how, well I'm not sure about that. Of late I'd suggest issue-specific-prayer to remove this unhelpful desire. But if you're not in that space then that's not suitable for you.

Leonard making a foray into the player's forum!

Pray for your sins, my child.


RE: The curse of attraction to a specific physical attribute - The Catalyst - 09-21-2019 04:06 PM

(09-21-2019 11:46 AM)questor70 Wrote:  Wide-eyed, perky, girl-next-door neoteny. There's something about my type that screams "It's safe to approach me. I like everyone."

[Image: 54db661514a03_-_sev-annasophia-robb-de.j...size=480:*]

I've always really liked AnnaSophia Robb.


RE: The curse of attraction to a specific physical attribute - Kid Twist - 09-21-2019 06:06 PM

For an attractive woman, she brings to mind one attribute that I can't stand (haha, like the pointy elbows): the pointy chin. Or is it a lack of mandible on the side? Gummy smile with chiclet teeth would be another.