Roosh V Forum
Girls are trying to monkeybranch to me - what to do - Printable Version

+- Roosh V Forum (https://www.rooshvforum.com)
+-- Forum: Main (/forum-1.html)
+--- Forum: Relationships (/forum-52.html)
+--- Thread: Girls are trying to monkeybranch to me - what to do (/thread-74449.html)

Pages: 1 2 3


Girls are trying to monkeybranch to me - what to do - PixelFree - 11-27-2019 11:45 PM

Hey all,

I'm in an unusual situation where some decent wife-able women are attempting to monkey-branch over to me.

I'm 41 and am looking to settle down and start a family.

These women are 26 and 27 and have been in ~5-6 year LTRs. One of them is even engaged.

They simply seemed bored with their 'OK but not amazing' beta boyfriends, have identified I'm a better option or are looking for an older, more driven man who is a more serious about kids. Their similarly aged BFs might be thinking kids are another 5 years off for them, which doesn't work well for the them. I think it's also important to recognise they've been in these relationships since they were 21 or so (University/College relationships).

In the past I've taken the abundance mentality here and have not considered these unavailable women. Although, over the years I have noticed that these type of women are rarely single, they go from one relationship straight into another, or just stay in their 'not great but secure' relationships.

On the plus side these women are high quality - educated, good families, healthy/happy, pleasant, the right age and so forth. I would put them both at an 8.5 (possibly a 9 depending on tastes).

On the downside some may question of their loyalty - who's to say they won't be doing this to me 5 years down the track. Counter to this would be if I were to start a family with them soon their ability/motivation to do this drops a lot.

I have settled on trying to get to know them better to see if we have a solid connection here and to assess their LTR and motherly potential. If anything is going to happen it needs to be worth the drama (without having an 'emotional affair' with them). I'm also trying to assess how much potential their current relationships have - are they going to break up soon anyway with or without me being around?

In an ideal world they'd be single, but the reality in which we live in women (being security seeking creatures) usually don't have the courage to break off these 'OK' boyfriends and do this monkey-branching thing instead when they want out.

I recognise this is the opposite end of SnowHuggers situation (although they are not married).

Thoughts?


RE: Girls are trying to monkeybranch to me - what to do - Leonard D Neubache - 11-27-2019 11:58 PM

Personally I'd work conversation innocently around to the topic of infidelity. Note how you'd never consider someone who's already in a relationship. Sometimes women need a not-so-subtle hint to do the right thing. They don't have the courage and convictions of men.

These dudes are obviously still trapped in childhood so it's no loss to the world if pearls cease to be cast in front of those swine. That the girls are still with them after all that time indicates some level of value.

You're in an enviable position. There are two girls to screen so make your requirements (indirectly) clear and may the most courageous girl win.


RE: Girls are trying to monkeybranch to me - what to do - RawGod - 11-28-2019 12:04 AM

I may be a bit jaded here, but honestly I feel nothing but disgust at women like these.


RE: Girls are trying to monkeybranch to me - what to do - Nascimento - 11-28-2019 12:40 AM

(11-28-2019 12:04 AM)RawGod Wrote:  I may be a bit jaded here, but honestly I feel nothing but disgust at women like these.

Well, it's one thing for women to cheat and then monkeybranch. Another if she's feeling another man out or showing curiosity before she does. I wouldn't say the two always go together.

It's not like women will take the harder road – leave a relationship they know isn't right for them for whatever reason to be single and alone until they find a right person. That's much harder and has risk involved, and it doesn't really complement their natural strategies at all.

The main question is a tricky one. Not sure how I'd react. I think it's important to state your values and how you will not promote or condone cheating in any way. If the woman wants, she's free to join you in your path in life, but she'd have to leave bf. Most cases this probably won't happen because of what I've already mentioned and we already know, but if she does, it's safe to assume she's unhappy enough and/or sees your value as much higher than her current man.

The latter is especially important. No woman cheats on a man she's deeply in love with. So if you get this devotion from her in the future I woudn't worry about her monkey branching from you. The prerequisite for her to be deeply in love with you is your value being higher than hers – whether that's objective or not it's her perception that matters most.


RE: Girls are trying to monkeybranch to me - what to do - Geomann180 - 11-28-2019 12:43 AM

I'm not going to tell you how to live your life...but should you decide a future with any of these women is in the cards, I recommend that you make it subtly clear that a future with you is only in the cards if they break up with their boyfriend first before doing anything. And if you pursue that, be sure that you want kids inside of two years, maybe three.

I wish you all the best.

G


RE: Girls are trying to monkeybranch to me - what to do - SilentOne - 11-28-2019 01:28 AM

(11-27-2019 11:45 PM)PixelFree Wrote:  On the plus side these women are high quality - educated, good families, healthy/happy, pleasant, the right age and so forth. I would put them both at an 8.5 (possibly a 9 depending on tastes).

On the downside some may question of their loyalty - who's to say they won't be doing this to me 5 years down the track. Counter to this would be if I were to start a family with them soon their ability/motivation to do this drops a lot.

I guess high quality is subjective. Educated is not what i call high quality for my female partner. I just see a long stream of college debt that you will have to pay for thanks to that so called...education.

Then you said their happy? Maybe because they found their next target. If they were so happy they wouldn't even be entertaining the idea of being with you especially while engaged to another man.

Also your Counter is terrible. If you want kids, do it because YOU want them. Not because you think it will keep them around. It won't. If they want to leave later, they will. Easily. Then you will be forcibly charged child support. Fun times.

Above all protect your finances. You are in your peak years and will continue to be a target. The good thing here is you are at least dealing with girls in their peak years too.

Its ok to have a family. Just don't get a state marriage. Apparently to some people here I'm an evil sociopath so take my advice with a grant of salt.


RE: Girls are trying to monkeybranch to me - what to do - TigOlBitties - 11-28-2019 02:18 AM

I understand the mindset, but I don't think it's wise to ever think of a woman as high quality. It's putting them on a pedestal, when they should be putting us on a pedestal. They need us a lot more than we need them, and I don't mean that as a negative thing towards women. It's just the way it is. A better way to view a woman is she either acts right, or she doesn't. She's compatible, or she isn't. She's attractive enough, or she isn't.

I also agree on the education thing. Couldn't care less about a woman going to college, and in many cases it can even brainwash them into being very irritating to be around. The debt and degenerate lifestyles on campuses can be significant problems too. Of course if they studied something respectable, then it's a different story.

I don't think it's wise to commit to either of these women. Their behavior is a red flag, and could cause similar problems for you in the future. The risk is too high in my opinion, but you know them better than us so it's your call. A woman over 25 is not as appealing for commitment either.


RE: Girls are trying to monkeybranch to me - what to do - N°6 - 11-28-2019 02:24 AM

Once they’ve monkeybranched and there’s been consummation, they’ll deem themselves equal with you.

When this happens, you’ll need to manage the relationship or risk them feeling tempted to claim equality with another man on an even higher branch.

In the corporate world, a man sometimes needs to switch companies to move up the professional ladder. The membrum virile is like that for women.


RE: Girls are trying to monkeybranch to me - what to do - Basil II - 11-28-2019 02:44 AM

I've been in this situation with a girl who was engaged to another guy, who I was acquainted with (he had a mean drinking problem). My mistake was meeting up with her while she still had one hand on the branch behind her, so to speak. It was regrettable, even though she left him two days later I would have felt better if I had made her break off the engagement first before considering her, as others have already recommended here.


RE: Girls are trying to monkeybranch to me - what to do - MichaelWitcoff - 11-28-2019 03:05 AM

One of my grandmothers was engaged when she fell in love with my grandfather, and they got married and stayed married until she died several years ago. There are many stories like this out there.

There are also many stories where the woman monkey branches to you, and you think you mean the world to her, until she completes the swing and moves on to the next branch. Proceed with caution.


RE: Girls are trying to monkeybranch to me - what to do - mr_ks - 11-28-2019 03:29 AM

It just looks to me like women who are always in relationships and monkey-branch around just view men as a kind of convenient accessory in their lives.

You don't wanna be that guy they monkey-branch to, you will be seen in the same light as the previous (and possibly later) bfs. Just one in a series of men.

Then again, if you end up really liking one of them it's gonna be hard to say no.


RE: Girls are trying to monkeybranch to me - what to do - hkhathaj - 11-28-2019 04:28 AM

TLDR at the end. Long version:

In your case I would consider what does that mean to your SMV if 8.5s in their 26-27 are thinking to monkey branch to you? Girls at 26-27 think their SMV is highest and 8.5s are rare! So you have to be very good for that!

Are you in the alpha spot or do they only see you as a beta-bucks? That can be a problem if much of your "game" is being a beta-bucks. But otherwise you are good!

As the others I have a bad smell with these branch swinging girls. Maybe they are a little more clever than the average girl and they feel the approaching of their wall and they try to cash out with a beta-buck? Don't be that guy! If they had genuine desire for you then they would be more intense and maybe already leaving their boyfriends.

And if your SMV is high then you should aim high! If I was planning a marriage I would aim girls in the 17-23 age range. (It also depends on the legal age, here in Hungary it is legal to marry at 17 if the parents also consent to it. And if you start to meet a 17 year old then by the time when you marry she will be 18 so underage will not be a problem. By human nature even younger ones would be perfect but that may be illegal in some countries.) Low notch count or best if virgin.

Actually when I wanted to find a wife - and mostly I have only dated with the intention of finding a wife - I have really aimed at and below 23 years. And my now wife was 23 when we first met. Just imagine: reconditioning her to become a wife early takes quiet a few years. Her conditioning works against you. Maybe I could have done better but it took me 2 years until we married and 1 more year when our child was born. Then she was 26. That is already not the ideal age for a first child biologically - but not bad compared to current standards. And if you want a big family - which you should want - then it is already a little late. My original plan was 5 children what is still achievable but with an even younger wife first giving birth at 18-19 10 or even more children are possible.

TLDR: if your SMV is so high then go for an even younger and preferably virgin wife.


RE: Girls are trying to monkeybranch to me - what to do - MajorStyles - 11-28-2019 09:36 AM

One would have to know the specifics of these various women to make an educated guess. Moreover, the right one has to meet your specific desires. For example, there could be an amazing black/asian/arab woman in the mix, but you're not attracted to that aesthetic. Or, one of them does not cook, which is very important to you, etc.

The fact that they are monkeybranching is, in my opinion, not overly important. Women have a finite amount of time to choose their life partner, so they are more serious at an early age. It's quite common for women to find a "serious" boyfriend during their college years and then, once the realities of life settle in, decide that he is not the one.

I would be more concerned with whether or not any of these prospects are aligning with your requirement list.


RE: Girls are trying to monkeybranch to me - what to do - Deusleveult - 11-28-2019 11:47 AM

I understand at your age that you start to feel an urgency to find someone and you are considering every options available.

But you said it yourself, they are not loyal and trustworthy, so not the kind of women you want to start a relationship and a family with.

Deep down you know that you would never fully trust her, so spare yourself future troubles and don't even consider women who are in a relationship or engaged.


RE: Girls are trying to monkeybranch to me - what to do - jcrew247 - 11-28-2019 11:48 AM

OP, you neglected to mention if these women are specifically looking to get married and find a husband. It seems that once women pass 30, they realize that their desirability goes immediately downhill and they want to get married fast and their biological clock is ticking to have children. So, this may simply be a case where their current boyfriends don't want children, don't have the money to pay for children, or don't want to get married. So be wary that these women just see you as an older rich guy who can better afford child support.

As for hot women in LTR is more common but they may get bored and their BF may not want to marry them or may be too poor to marry them. So get to know these women better and find out the inside scoop on why they are unhappy and see you as the better option. IN LTR, the BF may have cheated in the past or they may have been unhappy and no longer have sex.

Do these women have jobs or are their bf paying their rent and mortgages? Another user mentioned only marrying young 18 year old virgins. I would also watch out for this because they might get bored and leave you after 10 years to go find them selves because they never got to party and sow their wild oats as a college student.


RE: Girls are trying to monkeybranch to me - what to do - ohionukes - 11-28-2019 11:52 AM

I would never date a cheater. Tell them to break up with bf if they are interested in you. And absolutely get a pre-nup


RE: Girls are trying to monkeybranch to me - what to do - mr_ks - 11-28-2019 12:31 PM

OP, say you end up wanting to be with one of these girls, how will you handle it with the current bf?

Also, wont you feel weird talking to a girl with a view to having a relationship knowing she is still fucking another guy?

If I'm talking to a girl in a 'romantic' way it is under the pretense that I'm the only guy in the world and no other guy exists. There can be no bf because there is no other guy. She would need to pretend to be single to even be having the conversation.

But you and the girls are interacting, under the assumption there are other men who are relevant and that exist. Doesnt look like a good way to start a relationship.


RE: Girls are trying to monkeybranch to me - what to do - lunchmoney - 11-28-2019 06:13 PM

Dating a cheater is a scary proposition


RE: Girls are trying to monkeybranch to me - what to do - BlastbeatCasanova - 11-28-2019 11:00 PM

25 year old 9/10's trying to latch on to a 45 year old? Sorry for being a skeptic/downer but it sounds too good to be true, especially after some of recent cases of larping on this forum...and I know some high-value men in their 40's with game. If true then this is great problem to have


RE: Girls are trying to monkeybranch to me - what to do - No More Mr. Soy Boy - 11-28-2019 11:27 PM

(05-16-2012 07:53 AM)Roosh Wrote:  1. Do not talk about pre-marital sexual activity. You can discuss how to meet, attract, and date women with the intention of entering a relationship with them, but not how to have sex. You cannot discuss cheating or casual hook-ups. You cannot ask where to travel to in order to have sex. You also cannot post meetup threads (use Private Messages instead).

Isn't this supposed to be a forum with Christian values?

If that's the case then I can't see how anyone would tell you anything else than to get rid of those whores, stop wasting your time on them and go elsewhere to seek a better woman.

For me this seems like insanity, to believe a cheating woman would be "wife-able". These are immoral whores.

And once a woman has broken that barrier I think it will be a much easier time for her to rationalize her infidelity in the future as well.


RE: Girls are trying to monkeybranch to me - what to do - PixelFree - 11-29-2019 12:21 AM

No-one has cheated, is talking about cheating nor thinking about cheating. Also, I'm 41, not 45. Read the posts.

The reality we need to deal with is many women will only want to jump straight from one relationship into another. Many quality women don't stay single for long, if at all. They constantly have a never ending orbit of decent men willing to LTR them up.

Previously I also felt uncomfortable with these situations, but now that I've come across 4 of them (e.g. a pattern), and they are very good in other ways, and have shown a good history of many years of loyalty to their existing BFs (how many women do you know have had a single BF since school?) has made me wonder if there is a better way to deal with them that just forgetting them.

If I:
- can determine their current relationship has no potential, or is making them unhappy (or at worst possibly may even prevent them from the fulfillment of children)
- honestly believe there is a good connection (or potential for one), compatible values, etc
- have honest, genuine intentions with them (LTR, marriage, kids)
- can convince them to break up fully first

Then I think it's moral. This is up for debate of course.

Quality women don't grow on trees, it would be foolish not to explore this.


RE: Girls are trying to monkeybranch to me - what to do - Leonard D Neubache - 11-29-2019 01:13 AM

A woman in an infertile relationship dropping subtle IOIs and looking for subtle reciprocation before breaking it off with the dickless soyboy she's currently with is hardly a cheating whore.

Some of you guys expect women to act like men or you don't really understand women at all. Her being in an LTR for 5 years during the most typically hypergamous time of a woman's life speaks for more about who she is than her testing the waters before making a jump.

If these soykin boyfriends are not willing to marry and get these girls pregnant after half a decade then they deserve to get blindsided.

The forum should beware becoming a zone for male crybabies whining like the mirror image of the feminist "all men are pigs" types.


RE: Girls are trying to monkeybranch to me - what to do - jcrew247 - 11-29-2019 01:50 AM

Do you know these women from work or through friends?
Or are you meeting these women online and on tinder?
Maybe they are talking to you because you are rich and they just
want your money or want to make a business connection to advance
their careers?
Could there be another reasone they are talking to you besides wanting to date you or marry you.

Its very easy to chat up carefree attached women at a bar at a platonic level. They are bored and enjoy talking to new people because there is no pressure or expectation beyond a platonic relationship. It is far less stressful talking to someone when there is no pressure to flirt and escalate and not screw up and turn her off. When there is no care about rejection or getting a phone number, kiss, etc. then you can just chat up people just to have an interesting conversation.

Some women just enjoy talking to men and being teases to boost their own egos. I guess the point is that if you see a woman giving you repeated attention and constantly calling you and texting you, then maybe she is unhappy with her boyfriend and looking for a white knight to save her. It does sound like these 27 year old women are desparate for marriage and babies, so if that is something you want with her, then discuss the topic further.


RE: Girls are trying to monkeybranch to me - what to do - Captainstabbin - 11-29-2019 01:50 AM

If you can land a 26 year old 9, I'd shoot for a 21 year old 7 with little education and few life experiences.

Quote:On the downside some may question of their loyalty - who's to say they won't be doing this to me 5 years down the track. Counter to this would be if I were to start a family with them soon their ability/motivation to do this drops a lot.

Actually, it goes up exponentially because you'll be paying crazy high child support. If these girls are bored with a same-age dude with plenty of energy, imagine how bored they'll be with 2 kids and a 50 year old husband. They'll bail at 35 and have you support them for the next 18 years.


RE: Girls are trying to monkeybranch to me - what to do - Leonard D Neubache - 11-29-2019 02:00 AM

OP didn't say they were bored. He said they want kids and the soyboys weren't willing to commit after 5+ years.

These girls are precisely what the forum keeps bitching that there are none left of. Women who want an LTR that will result in childbirth under 30 years of age. Then we get a stream of dudes bitching that these girls aren't willing to spend another 5+ years with their boyfriends while these dudes focus on racking up their X-Box achievements.