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NoPorn / NoFap Google Group - For Those Who're Serious
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philosophical_recovery Offline
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RE: NoPorn / NoFap Google Group - For Those Who're Serious
(10-26-2016 03:50 PM)Comte De St. Germain Wrote:  
(10-26-2016 02:28 PM)philosophical_recovery Wrote:  Day 19. My nuts are actually aching.

Sign of pent up aggression. Right there with you right now bro.

It's odd. Unusual for me.

I've prided myself on having pretty good self control, all things considered. Ability to focus. Willpower over a lot of things.

Yet I would fail at this goal.

The past time I did this I avoided porn for some time, but I think around 2 weeks in I was jerking it in the shower. I cannot remember going this long, ever, without an orgasm.

I went climbing today and I reached a new level that I haven't before. Just about every day except today, I would get frustrated in a frankly pathetic way. I would try new route difficulties, find a challenge, and the negative thoughts would talk me out of pushing it. I would give up too early, without really trying. I would feel like whimpering to myself but prided myself on not giving in to such weakness.

Today was something else.

Background - I've been pushing my body pretty hard, going to the regular gym every week day, hitting my core a lot harder, and getting more reps than I've done for 3-4 years of working out. I've also lost 2 pant sizes. Back to where I was "skinnyfat" before, except my chest and shoulders are significantly bigger. Someone asked me the other day how I'd been losing weight, and I just told them I dropped a lot of carbs. I've been eating simple, easy meals of burger + veggies + fruit that takes me almost no time to make at night. 2 meals a day with ~16 hours between dinner and lunch. I've lost somewhere around 10-15 pounds depending on the day. I'm trying to do it slowly without losing much muscle, as I'm not far off now from where I want to be, bodyfat wise. 1.5-2 more pant sizes and I'm a totally flat, sixpack stomach.

So all of this going on, feeling great, I got productive frustration.

My only real comparison is back to when I was a kid, playing video games, and trying my damnedest to beat a level. I would go nuts, get frustrated as hell, but keep on doing what I could to beat the level. That carried over into my schoolwork and got me to where I am today, where I can honestly coast on a lot of solid past effort.

Anyway, I'm attacking the wall today with my frustration. I fell off? Fuck you, wall. I'm climbing up. Fell off a hold? Fuck that hold, I'm going to own it if I have to squeeze it off its mount so that I don't tumble. And on and on. I didn't get sapped of energy today. Didn't make excuses, just hit the wall harder than I had before. Attempting things that I just wouldn't have bothered before. Figuring out problems.

Angry. Controlled.

(This post was last modified: 10-26-2016 08:49 PM by philosophical_recovery.)
10-26-2016 08:48 PM
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RE: NoPorn / NoFap Google Group - For Those Who're Serious - philosophical_recovery - 10-26-2016 08:48 PM