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The RVF worst-case-scenario survival/preparedness thread.
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Leonard D Neubache Offline
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RE: The RVF worst-case-scenario survival/preparedness thread.
A simple set of rules that could mean the difference between life and death.

Quote:You Can Figure Out What's Edible Using The Universal Edibility Test

There's no obvious way to tell if a thing is edible simply by looking at it. You could put it in your mouth, sure, but many poisonous wild-growing plants look an awful lot like the kind of thing you'd put on the dinner table. For example, regular carrots and parsnips look almost identical to hemlock, a plant that will kill you so dead that they used it to execute people in the olden days.

Remember: "Leaves of white, not all right. Carrots of orange ... uh ... shit."
Fortunately, there is a way to figure out whether or not something is okay to eat. It's called the Universal Edibility Test, or UET. It's not flawless, but it's better than, say, prayer, which is your only other option. It goes like this: When you find something that looks like it might be edible, smell it first. Plants that don't want to be eaten have evolved for millions of years to communicate that fact to us, and many of them smell like a skunk's ass. If it smells okay, rub it on the inside of your elbow or wrist, and wait to see if you develop a rash or hives or anything.

If you die from the rash, it is super not safe to eat.
Ideally, you have enough time before you starve to death to give this test the scientific rigorousness it warrants, but if time really is short, then you want to give each step between 15 minutes and an hour before you move to the next stage. If the plant passes the elbow test, the next thing is to rub it on your lips, then wait again. If you're still feeling okay, put some of it in your mouth and swish it around, but don't swallow. After that, eat a very small amount of it and wait overnight. If you don't shit your organs out like you unwisely ordered Carl's Jr. at the tail end of a tequila bender, then whatever you're thinking of eating might be safe.

Of course, this test comes with some disclaimers. For example, it apparently doesn't work very well with mushrooms, and experienced survivalists will tell you that you should never eat a wild mushroom no matter what it looks like. In fact, don't eat any mushrooms. They're gross. And you're gross for arguing. Yes you, Reader #15623. Knock it off.

You can find a more professionally presented version of this here:

God demands of Man responsibility. God demands of Woman vulnerability. These are their curse and blessing alike. Libertianism is to Man as Feminism is to Woman.
04-24-2019 05:18 AM
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RE: The RVF worst-case-scenario survival/preparedness thread. - Leonard D Neubache - 04-24-2019 05:18 AM

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