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Considering a LDR with a woman with debt
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PapayaTapper Away
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Post: #51
RE: Considering a LDR with a woman with debt
(07-07-2019 08:40 AM)treypound Wrote:  Thanks all for the varying views and advice. To provide an update and give additional clarity:

We have had a few discussions in-depth on this topic, and I have come to the conclusion that while I am enjoying her company in the present, I would find myself miserable in the future. Her spending habits on frivolous retail purchases and pampering (spas/massage etc) is excessive. When we began dating, she somewhat hid some of her behavior, but I also had not been exposed to her social circle until a couple months in. Once I had a chance to see how her friends operate and think, I could see we would have issues.

Re: her family, she comes from a working class family in which in her mother worked as a teacher until she and her sister came around. Her mother then stayed at home and took care of the house/kids while her father ran an auto repair shop in her hometown. I have met her parents, and they seem like decent people. It wasn't until she went away to college that she connected with her clique of girls that seem to have changed her views on life.

I honestly don't see her wanting to resume her career after having a child. Again, I am not at a point where I feel she's the only fish in the sea, however some of the feedback here has reinforced my gut instinct.

As I intimated in my earlier post. Her spending habits are an inculcated cultural conditioning. She's most likely compensating for social insecurities caused by her modest upbringing. This is especially true if her friends come from more affluent families.

In this day and age where the height of social status is to be rich and famous for no reason (think Kardashians) based on merit (ie talent, and hard work ) to most western women there's nothing worse than to be seen as "poor".

After all everyone is special and deserves all life's rewards (YOLO )...right?

Only special losers dont get what they want, when they want it

This is a lot for her to overcome

- Does She Have The "Happy Gene" ?
-Inversion Therapy
-Let's lead by example

"Leap, and the net will appear". John Burroughs

"The big question is whether you are going to be able to say a hearty yes to your adventure."
Joseph Campbell
07-09-2019 02:25 PM
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RE: Considering a LDR with a woman with debt - PapayaTapper - 07-09-2019 02:25 PM

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