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I feel smothered in my relationship
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Terneuzen Offline
Male Feminist

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I feel smothered in my relationship
I bet you will tell me to finish my current relationship and focus on my life instead. This line of reasoning would be correct if not the following factors to be considered:

1) I want to have kids and believe that the sooner I have them, the better for me and them. Having kids at younger age means lower risk of complications and diseases for kids. Besides this young age means that we have more energy and balls to shape young human beings. The older we are, the more risk averse and overprotective we become and this is not a role for a father, but grandparents. I am lucky enough to have tons of energy at the age of 31 and feel like I am wasting it only on work-related matters, sports and entertainment.

2) My current girlfriend seems to be a good candidate for a mother – breaking up with her can have the following consequences:

a. I may not be able to find another good girl like her and I may be seeing some serious flaws in all new acquaintances, which means that my plan to have a family and kids will not materialize. Or alternatively I will have kids with multiple, average women and will feel sorry for my kids to have such mothers. Not to mention that in this scenario my contact with kids will be very limited.
b. Finding the right girl can take a lot of time and we all know that maintaining certain level of attractiveness requires a lot of time. I am 31 now and I fear that I get too old before I meet a suitable candidate for having kids. My target is under 25 and they usually prefer guys that are younger than 30, max 35 – at least this is what they say…
c. Prolonging the decision to have kids increases the risk of unpredictable accidents and diseases that can make me unable to pass my genes on.

On the other side I feel smothered in my relationship, because my girlfriend is very jealous of all my female friends she deems attractive. This feeling makes me even more willing to have sex outside my relationship and reduces my readiness to have sex with my girlfriend. This results with lack of sex for me whatsoever, because so far I haven’t cheated on her. She is also frustrated, because her appetite for sex is high and I am not able to satisfy it – not because I don’t have the technique, but I am not willing to. I suspect that I’m just bored by having sex with one girl after having spent almost two years living a bachelor lifestyle to the fullest.

My other problem is very high level of testosterone (I tested my blood for it) which is a product of a carnivore diet and active life outside office hours. I adopted a carnivore diet and have never had such an appetite for new girls before. My hormones tell me to pick up and bang chicks in large quantities, but my logical side of brain tells me that I have already hunted one and the current sociocultural circumstances do not allow us to have more than one at a time.

On a side note: ironically enough, my sexual needs increased so much when I did my homework in all other aspects of life – I got rid of all my health issues caused by chronic inflammation, I got promoted in my job (now being a manager) and started doing well in side business that was followed by making more money than a vast majority of my peers. I also studied the psychology of females, which helped me mastering my game – with all those experiences pick up girls became a no-brainer for me. It seems that women can smell confidence in men and it attracts them more than anything else, while successful men unconsciously know that they can afford multiple women at a time and this is the goal that they chase in their sexual lives.

My girlfriend is 30, we have been together for 1,5 years and been living together for one year. I know that it is about time for her to have kids if we want to have 3 or more - she wants 3, I would like to have more, but realistically it’s rather unlikely at her age. She’s still physically attractive and have several orbiters, but she’s not interested in them because they all have lower SMV than me. She’s also very intelligent and conscientious – these traits bode well for the future, but her emotional programming destroys the picture – too many Disney movies in the childhood and Instagram in later years.

I don’t want to break her heart by breaking up or cheating on her, but the more I think about the situation we are in the more I believe that banging chicks on the side would be the best solution if we both want to be happy together. The two other solutions are:

1) We remain in the relationship with little sexual interest towards each other – both unhappy and I am the culprit
2) We break up – initially both unhappy, but this can change rather quickly. In this scenario I know I will get my shit together faster than her, because I have my female friends still interested in me
3) Overt polygamy – not allowed beyond the Muslim world, not an option

What do you think of it? Am I normal having such dilemmas? It would be much easier to have less money, less testosterone, work a shitty job and play video games on my free time…

P.S. I forgot to mention – we are not married, but we signed a partnership contract for tax reasons, it is a legal contract that treats fairly both parties and one can terminate it unilaterally. No need for lawyers, your assets remain yours, etc. Marriage is not an option for me and my girlfriend knows that – she was initially outraged (what a surprise), but finally calmed down and accepted it for the time being. I know that she deep in her heart she is resentful about that as well as the fact that she has to pay her fair share of monthly expenses until we have children. This is also kind of a red flag for me, but maybe I am too strict about her – no one is ideal…
(This post was last modified: 07-12-2019 08:30 AM by Terneuzen.)
07-12-2019 08:13 AM
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I feel smothered in my relationship - Terneuzen - 07-12-2019 08:13 AM

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