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The I-Just-Had-Sex Thread (Plus-Notch Thread)
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RE: The I-Just-Had-Sex Thread (Plus-Notch Thread)
(04-14-2015 04:03 PM)AnonymousBosch Wrote:  Since joining this forum, I'm a lot less arrogant about my superiority to Blue Pill guys. I've talked to too many guys on here who are starting out and lost and looking for guidance, or were like these guys in their younger years and had to harden up and kill the good parts of themselves just to have success with women.

When I saw her Fiance, I saw the father who failed him, the educational system who castrated him, the media who harangued and belittled him, and the community network of men who should have mentored him, but didn't.

I'm disgusted men have been brought down to the level they currently exist at. I'm disgusted that I rarely see a man who doesn't instantly look at the ground, or in a different direction, when notices me walking towards him. I hate that the concept of Community I remember from my 70's childhood is barely there, and that everyone who looks like me is detached, isolated, and staring at their fucking phones.



I've added only one to my notch count since seriously studying Game, but I'm feeling exactly what you're feeling. I told myself a couple of nights ago before falling asleep, "You're not a Devil, and even if you were, you've no more souls left to torture because the torture doesn't teach anybody anything. It only makes people angry enough to torture others."

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RVF Member OregonToSoCal reminded me of my own narcissism by posting, "I think for some of us it touches that last little bit of blue pill nice guy that remains in us, deep in the recesses of our soul. Let's face it, if we were naturals from day 1 we wouldn't have consciously started the red pill journey and found this forum."

My narcissism is that, despite how obvious his conclusion is, I never fucking thought of it. And this blind spot would cause depressed/worried thoughts such as, "I wonder if Game will really be worth it?" and "How many other guys do I have to bury psychologically in order to use Game to get what I want?"

Now, it's a daily reminder programmed into my phone that, "There are no souls left to torture."

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The Last Psychiatrist has a wonderful article on the mid-life crisis. You'll definitely like it, and I hope others will, too.

Quote:I can't tell you how to be successful, but I can tell you how to successfully get through this kind of misery. Note that this advice is not for people in their 20s, it will not work for you, it will only work if you're over 40.

The trick to solving physics problems is to recognize the form of the equation; the trick to solving your life is to know the form of the conflict.

Maron was having a mid-life crisis, which is always of the form: "will I do anything useful with the rest of my life?" Note the emphasized "always." There is no alternative question.

Typically, people misinterpret the mid-life crisis as, "I'm 45 years old and I've never done X" where X equals: blondes; car collecting; skydiving, a book, loved, learned Italian. And while these things are enjoyable, and will bring the person happiness of varying amounts, they don't solve the crisis because the crisis isn't about doing things but about running out of time. "That was fun," you say as she drives back to Wellesley, but then you glance at the calendar and it says you're still 45. There are only two things that will make that 45 less painful, and one of them is alcohol.

All the maneuvers indicative of a mid-life crisis-- younger women, sportscars, new hobbies, new careers, new looks-- are easily interpreted as new beginnings to help you trick yourself that the clock has been rolled back. (That these things do, in fact, make you slightly younger is not here the point.)

So other than alcohol, what answers the question, "Will I do anything useful with the rest of my life?" The key to navigating this stage is to understand that the word "useful" has a very specific definition and can only be fulfilled through limited ways: it has to serve the next generation.

I can see you rolling your eyes. This isn't touchy-feely nonsense; this is how humans were built, no different than they were built to see Roy through Biv or to find the absence of eyeballs uncanny. It explains why happy people still go through this; why making millions of dollars doesn't solve this; why having kids, being celebrated or even famous all fail, not because these are intrinsically "bad" but because they do not specifically fulfill the human necessity to believe it is useful to the next generation.

Most people get through this by raising kids (not just having them), teaching them things, "getting them into college," passing on the culture. The more you feel responsible to this process the easier mid-life will be. Nor does it require active or even good parenting; it is an internal conceptualization of your life, rather than any external activity. Not changing what you do, but how you thinks about it. Though it sounds like a cognitive trick, it is as simple as not saying, "I want to get rich" and instead saying, "I want to get rich so my family has a good life." To emphasize, this is not about the comparative morality of wealth vs. poverty, but the inclusion of the clause "so that" by which the narcissism is dissolved. (Yes, this means one could fool themselves into thinking they are "useful," thus passing through the crisis with not having accomplished anything.)

Maron, however, doesn't have kids. Other options:

1. Become someone's "mentor." You can unload a lot of that rage if you feel valuable, and giving of your wisdom and experience serves the dual function of confirming your identity (I am the guy who..) and connecting with someone else in some meaningful way. (E.g. the ex-player who goes into coaching.)

2. Become everyone's "mentor."
04-15-2015 10:10 AM
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Messages In This Thread
Several "firsts" in one night - Col. Tigh - 01-12-2013, 12:38 AM
RE: Several "firsts" in one night - MrXY - 01-13-2013, 01:28 PM
RE: The I-Just-Had-Sex Thread (Plus-Notch Thread) - MMX2010 - 04-15-2015 10:10 AM
Mali flag - Col. Tigh - 06-14-2015, 09:31 AM
My Lil' Hoodrat - Col. Tigh - 06-16-2015, 07:41 PM