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NoPorn / NoFap Google Group - For Those Who're Serious
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Requiem Offline
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RE: NoPorn / NoFap Google Group - For Those Who're Serious
(03-14-2016 07:56 PM)Travesty Wrote:  This is the #1 problem with me and no fap. If I didn't need to sit and focus for work and was just a wandering wealthy playboy it would be amazing.

When I do no fap long term I cannot concentrate on work for long periods. I start literally resenting everything about having to concentrate when I want to be out daygaming or drinking and nightgaming instead.

I understand the problem and used to have it as well. It is a mind-/attention-control thing you have to train. My guess is that the people who report laser-like focus on no fap are also the ones who started meditating. I would advise meditation to everyone regardless of their circumstances or not, but if it's not for you, you don't have to do it. But then use some similar practices, maybe while lying down or however feels comfortable.

When you get a strong urge, focus your attention on your body. Try to sense as much as possible. How does your left foot feel right now? Where does it have contact with the shoe or ground? How does your right knee feel like? Cann you feel the inside of your knee maybe? Don't say it's bullshit - just look and see if you can. Scan your whole body and see if you're tense, where you're tense, how strong the tension is. Feel how the air goes by your nostrils while breathing. After having done this for a while, focus on your "internal life". How do you feel exactly? Tense? Jittery? Not only bad feelings, you probably also feel very vital and energized. Really focus on how that feels.

ONLY IF the urge is still there at this point, sense that urge also. "Take it in" - don't be afraid of how strong it is, don't be afraid that focusing on it could make it even stronger. If the urge increases, let it increase, but focus on HOW EXACTLY it feels. Realize it as just that: a feeling. Don't be afraid of it, don't try to hide from it or push it away, accept the urge, let it grow if it does. If the urge is so high that all you can do is focus on the urge, then REALLY focus on the urge.
The mechanism is this:
you think: urge --> fuck that's bad, I don't want to feel the urge because it will make me break the streak --> try to avoid the urge --> I want to get rid of the urge --> make the urge go away, I HAVE TO MAKE THE URGE GO AWAY --> what is the only known method that your brain has learned thus far to reduce the urge? --> that's right, fap --> you set yourself up for relaps

if you do it the other way, it goes like this: urge --> oh there is the urge again --> let's see exactly how it feels this time, let's see how strong it gets this time, let's see what it does to me this time --> wow it's a really strong feeling, it increases my nervousness to quite some level, it is so strong that I can only focus on this, it triggers me to want to touch my dick --> I know this already, it was there yesterday and then it became weaker again, I allow it to be there for now and observe how it changes --> I feel extremely horny right now. It is just a feeling that I allow to be there. It is a part of me that I don't have to fight, I rather welcome it. It feels energizing. -->
Now for the mind control part: the urge feels good in a way and is so powerful that it triggers me to bring up sexual images in my head. --> When I have these images in my head, it feels even better and the urge grows even stronger --> the stronger the urge, the more images --> vicious circle --> I want to use the power of the sexual tension instead to bring up other stuff that feels good --> the horniness makes me feel very manly --> what else feels manly? Hitting the gym harder than everyone else feels manly. Being productive, getting things done feels manly. I'm using the energy to cruise on life. What did I have to do today that I didn't complete yet? --> There are the 40 pages of biochem I still have to study through. --> let's get it done instantly.

If you do it right, this should enable you to work very focused on the task. The trick is to not follow the feeling in a way that you think of sexual scenes in your head. The feeling itself is not the problem, it just feels powerful. The problem is what that energy gets directed at. Sexual energy is just your driving force. Up until now you've always deflagrated it by shooting a load. You can train your brain to put that energy into any other task you like, it's just a little hard in the beginning. It takes some practice.
These thinking patterns need to become automatic if you want to go that route.

People who meditate regularly have it easier. They learn to recognize thoughts and feelings as thoughts and feelings that come and go. The meditation trains their ability to not give attention to their thoughts and feelings if they don't want to. They are still there, but they have no power, because the power is given to them by you focusing your attention on them. If you train to manage your attention, that breaks that chain.
Again, I really want to stress that: the feeling (urge) is not the problem, but if you then give your attention to sexual thoughts because if it. That last part is the problem. The urge can be there but your attention can be focused on calculus or whatever. It's something that most people have to train. DO NOT THINK ABOUT it. That's the best way. It feels inevitable, but it's not. I used to relapse so much because feeling --> thought --> feeling just increased each others exponentially. If you stay with the feeling but have your attention on the task at hand, then you will be extremely productive. Don't try to push the sexual thoughts away though. If you try to fight the thoughts, they become stronger, because fighting them means focusing your attention on them, which they live on. Let the sexual thoughts be there if they come, but shift the attention away from them. This way they will incur.

If you can't focus on the task at hand, you're likely in that "horny mode" that makes us rawdog the chubby bitch we just picked up from the gutter. You can't think straight, so you need to first calm down again and get out of that zone. So if nothing else helps, as I'm sure it's been advised in this thread multiple times already - take a super cold shower, go for a walk, stretch, go to the gym, go out jogging, go out and have a coffee, meditate if you can manage to do that (very hard in this situation without practice)... etc. etc. Just do things that distract you and clear your mind, then see if you can focus on your work again.
03-19-2016 05:08 AM
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RE: NoPorn / NoFap Google Group - For Those Who're Serious - Requiem - 03-19-2016 05:08 AM