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NoPorn / NoFap Google Group - For Those Who're Serious
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RE: NoPorn / NoFap Google Group - For Those Who're Serious
(04-01-2016 07:30 AM)redbeard Wrote:  OK - a few things regarding paying attention.

I am sitting at day 86 right now, I've been doing this for a while, and I know that after two weeks of no orgasm I start to feel "the itch" like you guys say. I'm still horny as fuck constantly, but two weeks is where it starts toppling over into concentration. I've been having sex regularly so I don't have to worry about this too much.

There is nothing wrong with thinking about pussy constantly. Society will have you believe otherwise, but as a high-testosterone, high-sex drive male, it's natural to think about pussy constantly. We as a forum have higher available sexual energy than average males.

That high sexual energy is GOOD, IF you are able to channel it. This is one of the reasons why meditation is so recommended. If you can learn to control your thoughts, you can better take that sexual energy and direct it toward your work.

This is a good opportunity to utilize self-talk. Look at yourself in the mirror and say "I am horny. This is male energy that I will use to get work done. I do not want to jerk off. I am a hunter." Self-talk is amazing for NoFap.

I also like to engage in some shaking therapy. I started doing this from this Elliott Hulse video (starts at 3:00). MikeCF wrote that "emotions have weight," so I imagine all the pent up sexual energy as bugs on my body that I have to shake off.

Like many of the posters have mentioned, the best way to stop jerking off and watching porn is to DO SOMETHING ELSE, or "DON'T TOUCH YOUR DICK" as Isaac Jordan suggests. Not touching your dick, and instead channeling that energy towards approaching, work, the gym, is beneficial. When I am overflowing with sexual energy I love gym time. I check out all the asses and throw weights around, sweating and yelling, letting all of the excess energy out. I try to beat my body up, to tire it out, so that I can stop being so horny when I go to sleep. But that's just me.

Porn and masturbation are BAD channels for sexual energy, in that they are not beneficial. Think of sexual energy like money. Transferring it to self-improvement, the gym, approaching, is like putting it into a bank and watching it grow. Getting laid is a great investment in sexual energy, because at the end your brain releases all of the happy pair bond chemicals you get from being with beautiful women. On the other hand, watching porn is like buying a $200 bottle of Ciroc at the club and pouring it down the drain. It's kind of fun, but is it worth it?

I increasingly think you have to be getting laid for this challenge to work. I don't think I've ever gone 90 days without cumming, I would explode.

So to recap, the best way to be able to focus when you're horny is to meditate, self-talk, recognize your emotions, and channel energy elsewhere.

If you can't do this? There are a few ways to temporarily fix the horniness.

The best way to beat the urges while doing work is work in a public place. Do your work in the library, or at a coffee shop, where you are in public view of everyone. Turn your phone off and put it in your backpack, or better yet, leave it in your car so there's no chance to look at it. Ditch the laptop and use good ol' textbook and notebook to study. Use Self-Control App to control access to trigger sites.

Removal of the phone is what really worked for me, because my phone was the major trigger. By removing temptation of the phone, I was able to cut off the pathway to PMO and extend my streak. Next time you relapse, recognize what exactly happened. Was it sexy pictures on reddit? Was it...the forum? Analyze yourself, find the problems, and adjust.

First off, congrats on making it to day 86!

As for why no fap = no productivity for me, St. Germain pretty much hit the nail on the head. I end up in this state where all I can think about is sex, as if there is this primal fire that needs to be doused. It gets so bad that I can hardly concentrate on anything else.

This is great when I have free time because I can go out and put that energy toward good use, either in the gym or in my approaches. It feels amazing to channel that energy in a healthy way. However, it's not so great when I have work to do and all I can think about is sexual release. It's pure torture.

(Obviously this only applies when I'm not flatlining. During a flatline the feeling is of a different type of misery.)

So yeah, I agree that meditation is one of the keys to success here. Just take 5-10 minutes to close your eyes, focus on your breath, and let the feeling wash over you. It will eventually pass...if you don't fuel the urges. That last part in bold is key because it's so easy to let your mind go to that place where you're mentally fueling this continual erotic feedback loop. Focus on something else, particularly a physical sensation like your breath because it can ground you to the present moment and allows you to detach from your current thoughts until that fire slowly dies down.

As a last resort, particularly in the case where you've got blue balls and are quite literally aching for release, that's when I would advocate for having a quick wank (focusing purely on the sensations, if possible, rather than some sort of porn-like fantasy). Obviously this might be tough while at work, and in that scenario meditation + toughing it out is probably the only option.

Also, to the phone issue...that's something that I struggled with quite a bit as well until I installed an app locker. I think I mentioned this in a post awhile back in here, but there is a great app for android called AppLock. I'm sure there's something similar for iphones. It allows you to lock certain apps and phone functions with a passcode. Simply install it, set a difficult code that you won't remember (write it down and store it someplace safe, yet highly inconvenient to access just in case you need it), and then lock all of the apps/access points that would allow you to get in trouble.

This app, along with K9 for my pc/laptop, has been the equivalent of taking the bullets out of a loaded gun. I can't look at porn even if I wanted to unless I'm willing to go through the effort of disabling everything. You'll still have to develop some measure of self control, which is a good thing, because you'll never be able to completely eliminate sexual triggers. But it can make the process a lot easier, especially in the beginning during those crucial first few months.

I'm also going to give the self-talk thing a shot. It's about the only tactic that I haven't tried at this point, but it seems like it could definitely work. The shaking stuff is good too, and if I'm working at home I have my own version where I'll shadow box for a little bit just to rid myself of some excess physical energy. Difficult to pull that one off when working around others though razz
04-01-2016 02:39 PM
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RE: NoPorn / NoFap Google Group - For Those Who're Serious - Zona - 04-01-2016 02:39 PM