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NoPorn / NoFap Google Group - For Those Who're Serious
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Zona Offline
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Post: #1927
RE: NoPorn / NoFap Google Group - For Those Who're Serious
(05-04-2016 07:30 AM)redbeard Wrote:  Here's a topic for discussion - what would you do if you had a son? In regards to porn/masturbation.

Modern parenting would suggest giving him some porn and letting him run free. Those of us here know the dangers of porn, and would say this is enabling addiction formation.

Old-school parenting would prohibit porn use, which would make porn even more appealing to the teenage brain.

There has to be a happy medium. I'm thinking there should be a way to do this "good cop bad cop" style with the mother, so if I had a son, I would have her catch him and reprimand him like the 1940's.. "oh my gosh you're gonna go fur on your hands! That is the work of the devil!!" After that I'd have a one on one talk with him and explain him some about sexuality, how it should be channeled, and how addictions (in general, not just porn) are extremely damaging to the mind.

I ask because I've got a little cousin who is 13, his mom just caught him and his friends watching Nikki Minaj's Anaconda video and she was wondering if this is gateway to porn use, what we could do, etc. I first of all applauded and said "thank god he'll become an ass man" then went on to explain how porn addiction is real and it could damage him. At his age, you can't really say "NO PORN OR ELSE!" but you should be able to monitor his behavior for signs of addiction. Is he acting strange at certain times of the day, hiding out in his room, acting antsy, being covert or short with answers.

Might be a potential thread topic, but I'm interested to hear what this group has to say.

Realistically the kid is probably already watching porn. I know I was at that age...and I didn't even have access to high speed internet on a plethora of devices.

I think some version of your approach is probably the best way to handle it, or at least that's how I'd do it. I probably wouldn't hit him with any of the old wives tales, seeing as how a 15 second web search would tell him otherwise. That would only bring my or my wife's credibility on the matter into question. However, I agree that making porn a "forbidden fruit" by installing porn blockers and all that will only make him want to view it more, and he'll find a way to do so.

Basically I would do everything in my power to impress upon my son that there are certain addictive behaviors that make men weak and lower their quality of life, porn being chief among them. I wouldn't even hesitate to lump it in with other addictive behaviors like doing drugs, smoking, etc. I'd acknowledge the fact that most of his friends are probably into it, but that's because they don't know any better and they will ultimately suffer because of it. One of the most important lessons I would want to impart on my son in general is the necessity to do the right thing even when others around him won't. This is one of those times, and it will only make him a stronger man in the end.

I also think that it would be good to educate him on the topic of healthy sexuality, like you said, because I wouldn't want him to grow up with a bunch of weird hangups about normal sex or even masturbation. Might be a good time to show him some of the stuff from YBOP so that he'll know that there is real science behind all of this, and I'm not just pulling it out of my ass. Even though some of the dopamine/neurotransmitter stuff might be a little over his head, if he's reasonably intelligent he'll understand the gist of it.
05-06-2016 11:37 AM
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RE: NoPorn / NoFap Google Group - For Those Who're Serious - Zona - 05-06-2016 11:37 AM