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NoPorn / NoFap Google Group - For Those Who're Serious
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fenetre Offline
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Post: #2078
RE: NoPorn / NoFap Google Group - For Those Who're Serious
It's been over 6 months since my last time PMOing, and about 5 months since I last jacked off.

Why did I want to quit?

- I was having terrible sex. Not able to orgasm/ejac with the girl. I felt ashamed and like a bitch.
- I was making excuses for my lack of direction in life. I knew I was lying to myself. Each time I experienced anxiety about life I would turn to porn to take my mind off it. I should have confronted the anxiety and learned about what was causing it and taking action on it. This was my life for 10 years.
- I felt no zest for life. I just thought "is this it?" Life was grey and no ups/downs - just a dull existence.
- I felt more and more like a pathetic bitch jacking off in my room instead of going out into the world. I started to really resent myself, and my self-loathing compounded until I became angry. I used this anger to fuel some long nofap stretches.

I tried for about 12 months to quit porn because I knew it was at the root of my life's misdirection. I tried everything:

Promising myself/swearing off porn: it doesn't work. You always find your rational/front brain overruled by your hindbrain. Your shame is compounded by breaking promises you make to yourself.

Porn blockers for your computer/phone: I made long passwords and posted one half to my brother and onto my dad. Just told them it was computer passwords for security blah blah. It worked for a while before I realised I could go to an internet cafe, download Tor onto a USB and upload the browser to my laptop. I was overcome by the urges again and broke an approx. 30 day streak. The dam burst then and I called my dad and brother to get the passwords back to make it easier to fap.

Reading about PMO and trying to understand it: this helped to open my mind to the mechanics of the problem. There are some good books out there which will definitely help, but it's only a step along the way. Reading about it makes you understand that you're involved in a deeply addictive process that you can't just change with words. You have to take definite and accountable action.

Seeing a therapist: I spent about 10 hours talking with a therapist. Looking back, this was no magic bullet for me but another useful exercise. I found that porn was like a pacifier for me when I felt angry, sad or distressed. I harboured some anger from childhood (which I'm convinced we all do) and I worked though some of this. This helps to lighten your emotional load, helps to clear the path ahead so you can see more clearly.

What worked for me eventually?

In a moment of utter desperation one morning I called my brother. He's my closest friend and I told him my problem in a few words. I said, "brah I am trying to kick a porn habit - can you help?"

I told him I'm going to wire him £500 and that if I PMO before 2016 is finished, he is to donate the money to some feminist/SJW charity. Two things: I knew deep down that I would never lie to my brother. The second, I could think of few things worse than some pink haired land whale getting my precious money.

For the month after that when I felt the urges I would think of my brother and I stayed strong. I had a few "dark nights of the soul" when I lay awake in bed, feeling the deepest sadness you can imagine. Sadness and sorrow that I have never described but I stayed strong and knew that I would have to power through if I was ever to break this habit.

6 months on and I am growing steadily. My confidence has improved dramatically. My sexual confidence is through the roof. I've had girls addicted to me sexually, this is what they have said to me. The sex is just so animalistic. I also find myself more motivated to take action to get what I want.

Nofap is not a panacea for your life's problems but PMO is a roadblock for your progress in life. If you laugh at nofappers and say that porn is healthy blah blah I think you're in denial. It's a serious fucking deal and it's at the core of the Cuck society we live in.

Please feel free to PM if you need advice or more specific info.
08-19-2016 09:35 AM
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RE: NoPorn / NoFap Google Group - For Those Who're Serious - fenetre - 08-19-2016 09:35 AM