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NoPorn / NoFap Google Group - For Those Who're Serious
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HankRearden Offline
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Post: #767
RE: NoPorn / NoFap Google Group - For Those Who're Serious
(03-18-2014 11:46 PM)blueshark747 Wrote:  
(03-17-2014 10:04 PM)HankRearden Wrote:  I received some PMs from members asking me about my NoFap experience. As such, I have decided to write a longer post here about how porn affected me, and how quitting it has changed my life. You might call it a 'Quitting Porn Data Sheet' if that feels more familiar. If anyone needs an accountability partner, or wants to speak to me more privately about their problems I encourage you to PM me. As of this current cycle of quitting I am 9 weeks free from porn. My longest previous record was 129 days.

My story is probably an uncommon one: I am 21 years old and, when I decided to quit for real, I was probably at around 20-25 notches. (Since I've intentionally decided to stop counting, a story for another day). But was it really 'sex' with these girls? For 50% of the experiences I could barely get it up at all, for another 30% I probably hit mid-range capacity at best, and I had only ejaculated twice (once in a car and once in a bathroom on New Years). I never had a serious girlfriend. To fix this, I saw doctors in two separate countries and I learned nothing useful at all.

When I was younger I used to masturbate on my stomach against the bed, which probably crushed my nerve endings. I started this at a pretty young age. To this day I seriously struggle to masturbate 'normally' and would have to do it through my boxers in this weird circular motion. I have never met anyone else who does it the same way; it's clearly bizarre. I used to watch copious amounts of porn: 10 tabs going at once, for a better half of a decade. I have no doubt that this was my biggest problem.

One day I realized that the porn I was watching became more and more extreme. Remember when you were 11 and the mere sight of a girl on a poster in a bikini would excite you? How far I had fallen from that utopia! While the porn wasn't overly extreme, I noticed that my tastes began to escalate. I spoke about this to a close friend of mine, who confided in me that his doctor diagnosed him with HOCD (Trust me guys, google this. it alone should scare you into stopping), and that he had tested out shemale porn a few times which confused him because he thought he wasn't gay. I pause here to pose a to you all: do you think anyone is born attracted to shemale rape porn? Nevertheless, the existence of disgusting types of porn suggest that there is indeed a market for it. There are men out there who are so weak, and whose brains have been so destroyed by porn - think about the effect of two hours a day for decades - that they have no way out. They live in a dark, sick, abyss.

Hearing about his fucked up porn taste scared the living fuck out of me. I used to have a really high voice when I was younger, acted in plays and musicals, and because I was relatively fashion-aware I would be asked by girls probably once a year if I was gay. Could I be gay? I can tell if another guy is good looking. Does that make me gay? Does me not being able to finish with girls mean that I have latent homosexuality? Thankfully, because my friend went through this ordeal first I was able to put this all behind me.

After consulting some other sights I and getting my head together I once quit for 129 days. By the end, things were amazing. I felt like I had more concentration, I felt sharper, and most of all I noticed that I was MUCH better with women. I had more confidence with approaches, took rejection better, and just generally felt better about myself. I wonder if the extra testoterone might have helped with that.

The initial flatline was pretty intimidating as I had nothing going on down there for at least 2 months, but afterwards my erections were like tree trunks - that is to say they were fucking awesome.

I went to South East Asia and didn't jerk off for 7 weeks. I was on fire there with girls. I fucked a Thai girl in an alleyway on my second night in Asia.

I'm currently in Mexico, and again, have noticed that I care WAY more about getting with women than I normally do. I smile and flirt with girls during the day much more now, and on nights out I feel more animalistic.

But above all, I have some great news to share with my fellow RVFers:
I finished again from sex in Mexico City, and finished from my first blowjob ever (while shitfaced) in Cancun. I actually think I might be cured!!


Still, I need to be careful. I finished from sex back home recently but the sex was the kinkiest I've ever had and I feel that, as much as I enjoyed the hell out of it, it's going to bring me down a path that can lead back to porn. Either way, my goal is to live a life porn-free.

Below I will give you some reasons to quit porn, and then some steps on how to do it.

Why to Quit

1) a) Crushes the male libido. Do some Googling on this to see how serious it really is. 'Delayed Ejaculation' (the condition I suffered from) rates are soaring at an astronomical rate.

1) b) On the flipside, not masturbating can maintain your high libido and actually improve your game. It keeps testoterone high and your desires for women strong. You'll want sex more, and odds are you'll have more sex as a result.

2) Desensitizes you to traditional sex and morphs your sexual tastes.

3) It's a massive waste of time, for an ultimately meaningless orgasm.

4) It's been proven to be addictive. The longer you keep watching the longer it will take to stop. If you don't think you're addicted try to go three weeks without it. Tons of guys can't even go a full week...how sad is that?

5) If you're so inclined to have a girlfriend or get married one day, you don't want to be that 45 year old guy sneaking off to watch porn twice a week. It's pathetic. I mean, just imagine what it would look like if someone watched your masturbating: crouched over your computer, eyes red from staring, furiously slamming your dick into your hand... does it not seem a little juvenile?

6) For guys new to sex I think it really twists the idea of what sex is meant to be. Most young girls will be totally unaccustomed your concept of sex, and this can actually hurt your chances of having sex or continuing to have sex with a girl. For example, when I lost my virginity I spanked the girl's ass during it, assuming that it was standard procedure. She stopped and went "what was that for"? Absolutely crushing moment (although admittedly very funny in hindsight).

7) From a simple standpoint, most porn provides a third person view of porn and your hand provides a different stimulation than a vagina does. I kind of compare it to training for a tennis match by playing squash.

8) I have even pulled girls by telling them I don't watch porn. They're usually impressed to hear it (if they believe it) and it makes me stand out a bit, and seem less sex-oriented. If only they knew, if only they knew.

9) Tons of women in the industry are abused, and end up with serious drug addictions or committing suicide. One forum member once told me I was essentially a pussy for bringing this up, but I think his comment was unjustified. Just because you like to game women doesn't mean you have to assist an industry which ultimately ruins the lives of many women. I put this last because not all of you will be convinced by this. Fair enough, quit porn for YOU then!

Steps for Quitting:

1) It will never work unless you're serious about it - that is, you need to rationally convince yourself and explain to yourself WHY you are quitting. What is driving you to quit? What will this change in your life?

2) Find a trigger switch. Everytime you're about to open up a porn link do something immediately, almost without thinking, which is different. Do 20 pushups, walk up and down the stairs, put your ipod on for a bit. The key is that you get far away from your computer.

3) Download programs that help with this. There are programs which can block porn and I use one of them called K9 Blocker at home.

4) Believe it or not, I stumbled upon an amazing resource while looking for a way to get around the K9 Porn Blocker in a moment of weakness. Talk about a coincidence! You all NEED to join yourbrainrebalanced.com and create a blog about your path to quitting porn. However, before you do so, read some of the tragic stories of older members on the forum. Read about men whose wives have left them over porn, of 35 year old virgins, of broken men out that that are finally trying to quit. Do you want to end up like them? For me, this was the most important step. It finally showed me that there is a world of men out there who shared my problem, and that they were willing to do something about it. Honestly, I have so much praise for that forum.

5) Get an accountability partner. I personally didn't do this but it seems like a good plan.

6) Talk to your friends about this. I have gotten tons of friends to quit porn, which in turn puts pressure on me to keep it up. I owe it to myself and I owe it to them now.

7) This one is important as well. Just because you start a porn clip doesn't mean that you have lost! There is always a moment to quit the screen and walk out. For me, I would remind myself how feeble and debilitating the eventual orgasm would be, and the self-loathing I would experience after each time. You need to remind yourself why you are quitting, and how you aren't missing out on anything. That's the truth folks.

8) I'm about to say something controversial, and I apologize to moderators in advance if they don't like this. Please don't ban me. The truth is, you might need to spend some time away from this forum. One of the first things the experts say is that you need to reduce the amount of porn triggers you come across (i.e. things that give you the urge to masturbate). For many, reading stories about fucking on RVF, about gaming women hard, etc will be a trigger to masturbate as quite obviously one will get excited. In the same light I would recommend against watching movies with gratuitous sex scenes, against going to strip clubs, etc as well. This stuff is fairly obvious. Alternatively, maybe just stay away from Notches threads or Trip Reports and keep to more PG areas of the forum for a few weeks to see if you can get your feet off the ground - a small sacrifice to make for a big gain.

Finally, I should say that I'm far from perfect. Often at nights I find myself playing around with my dick in bed, perhaps edging at 20% to help me fall asleep. This is not ideal, and I should cut it out. That being said, I really feel like I'm on the right path now.

I have never met anyone who quit porn and found it to be anything other than worthwhile.

Good luck, gentleman!

I don't know it sounds like you've had other psychological problems.
Also at 21 your not even in your full mental sexual prime.
You've been fapping to internet porn since you were 11?

I feel your not even experienced enough to make generalized diagnosis with some of your points.

Really??? Fucking a Thai woman in an alleyway is something to brag about?
Those desperate sexual urges where I lose my maturity and actual class are something to look forward to?

The older you get you will find this stuff called "balance".

Where wacking off actually motivates you to go out and get more pussy.

The whole shemale porn thing you posted about also sounds ridiculous along with your reasons for quitting and effects.

Along with the whole 45 year old married man scenario, do you have experience with being married? Obviously not.

To each its own....

I have never had any psychological problems, nor do I expect to have any, unless you count a teenage addiction to porn. Although I'm not a doctor, I would imagine that if you can't go 3 weeks without porn you're probably addicted. This might be a good way for some of you to see whether or not you are addicted. If you're not, and you don't think porn is affecting you, then you're lucky. Otherwise...

I've probably used internet porn since I was 11-13, although it's hard to say exactly. I don't think the difference in 2 years is relevant. The point is that I, like most other guys, would use it daily for a period of years. This process effectively 'rewires' the brain to very different tastes.

The Thai girl experience wasn't really a bragging point, it was more to say that the lack of porn and increased sex drive probably brought out a different side of me. Guys here use the word 'caveman' with frequency, and it could be described as that.

Thanks for telling me about the concept of "balance", one which I am already very aware of. The problem is that most guys simply do not jerk off once every 2 weeks to softcore porn with condoms on... it's more like jerking off daily to some variant much more extreme. And herein lies the problem, once you've grown use to this cycle it's extremely hard to break it.

The shemale porn example was a true story my friend told me, I'm not sure what more to say. I brought it up because it shows just how far one can fall when being addicted to porn. He has since quit porn and smoking weed, which for him was doubly addictive and problematic, and totally changed his life. When we go out together he's a huge threat now and pulls way way way more girls than he used to. He used to be unable to even hold basic eye contact with girls he was so insecure.

(On that note, I found that after jerking off in the past I too would be worse with holding eye contact later that day. Just a small piece of anecdotal evidence)

If you weren't banned I would have asked you which reasons/steps for quitting are ridiculous because I looked them over and they seem pretty logical to me.

And as for the married man, I don't need to be married to have an opinion on the weak behaviour of sneaking off to jerk off when your wife isn't looking, much like I don't need to be a climatologist to have an opinion on global warming.

It seems you don't have a problem with porn. Count your blessings!

For the rest of us mortals, I'm not embarrassed to admit that I used to have a problem and don't anymore. That's all, really.
03-19-2014 09:58 AM
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RE: NoPorn / NoFap Google Group - For Those Who're Serious - HankRearden - 03-19-2014 09:58 AM