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Reframing your mind to battle depression and CBT
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The Lizard of Oz Offline
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RE: Reframing your mind to battle depression and CBT
(03-30-2014 11:19 AM)killongy Wrote:  mini hijack if you dont mind.

I lost someone close to me but I never felt depressed but at times the feeling of loneliness lingers like a dull ache in regards to the role that person played in my life.
Shouldn't I be bawling my eyes out or curled up in a foetus position since its only 5 months since the loss....

I wonder if its that I didn't care enough and I would hate to think its because of that.

Normally I hate to go this personal but I ask , is any of this normal?

Worrying about how you "should" feel is just a waste of time. You feel as you do.

Very strong emotion of the kind that causes a grown man to be bawling his eyes out or be curled up in a fetal position is pretty rare -- people think it's more common than it really is because there is so much exaggerated portrayal of it in movies or in text of various kinds. People then see that they are colder and calmer in reality than they imagine they "should" be, and waste untold amounts of time feeling guilt or shame about it.

Young men (as I imagine you are) are naturally pretty selfish, and it would be an affectation to pretend otherwise. It is both a vice and a virtue (a virtue because it's a sign of strength). It is completely futile to worry about it or feel guilty. You should always acknowledge what you actually feel, even if it's nothing, and never try to manufacture feeling where there is none. It will come if and when it comes.

same old shit, sixes and sevens Shaft...
03-31-2014 08:04 PM
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RE: Reframing your mind to battle depression and CBT - The Lizard of Oz - 03-31-2014 08:04 PM

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