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Reframing your mind to battle depression and CBT
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The Lizard of Oz Offline
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Post: #102
RE: Reframing your mind to battle depression and CBT
(10-10-2014 02:19 PM)kbell Wrote:  I don't have much game so I would assume that would be a turn off for meeting people though.

I think there are many other guys on the forum who feel the exact same way but are not honest enough to say it, and just run shy of others on the same assumption.

And guys with game don't just always want to meet other players. Quite a few of them would just enjoy talking to a like-minded intelligent guy while being able to showcase their superior game.

(10-10-2014 02:19 PM)kbell Wrote:  One thing I have noticed is that when I talk to several people I get nervous since its seems like its too much information is being said. I tend to just chime in at moments, but don't seem to to have the energy to be the life of a party and dominate the conversation to a degree. Its much easier talking to a person one on one. I will have to put myself in more multi-people conversations to make me relax more in the situation.

Use your CBT. Who said you have to be "the life of the party" or dominate the conversation? And if you miss some of the precious "information" that is being said, is that really so terrible? Most of that information is just chatter of one kind or another. Nothing wrong with that, but neither are you likely to be missing a whole lot. Relax about the whole thing...

By definition, not everyone who is part of the conversation can be dominating it, otherwise you'd just have a lot of people talking at each other at the same time. Each guy has his own personality. The truth is that the quiet guys who do more of the listening are just as important to the social flow of the conversation as the dominant guys who do the talking. If you think about it, it has to be that way -- the talkers need the listeners to be around to have someone to talk to. Low-key quiet guys who are cool and have a sense of humor are appreciated more than you know. And on the rare occasions when the low-key thoughtful guy pipes up and talks, others tend to listen. So it can all balance out over time if every type is comfortable in his own skin.

same old shit, sixes and sevens Shaft...
10-11-2014 11:45 AM
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RE: Reframing your mind to battle depression and CBT - The Lizard of Oz - 10-11-2014 11:45 AM

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