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Let's have a laugh - share some jokes
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Geomann180 Offline
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Post: #203
RE: Let's have a laugh - share some jokes
Some military jokes for y'all:

Q: What do you call a Marine with an IQ of 60?
A: A platoon

Q: What does MARINES stand for?
A: My Ass Rides In Naval Equipment Safely

Q: How do they separate the men from the boys in the Navy?
A: With a crowbar!

Q: How do they separate the men from the boys in the Navy?
A: That's not funny, Mr. Spacey.

Q:How many guns do the US need to combat an enemy?
A:Two - one to shoot and one to sell him to shoot back.


An Army Captain is assigned to a remote desert post.
During inspection, he notices a camel tied up outside the barracks.

He asks the soldier showing him around, "why is that camel there?"

The soldier says: "There are 250 men here and no women. Sometimes men get frustrated if you know what I mean. When they do, they use the camel."

A month later the Captain is himself sexually frustrated. Finally, after months of wrangling with his libido, he relents in desperation.

He puts a ladder behind the camel, climbs up, drops his trousers and starts having sex with the camel, with gusto.

The same soldier who had shown him around earlier appears, so the Captain asks him, "Is that how the men do it?"

The soldier replies, "No sir, they usually ride it to the next village where the women are."


Officer: Soldier, do you have change for a dollar?
Soldier: Sure, buddy.

Officer: That's no way to address an officer! Now let's try it again. Do you have change for a dollar?

Soldier: No, Sir!


A piece of experience from my own life. During 'hell week' at my military college, all of the rats were released to their respective ROTC branches, Army, Marines/Navy/ and Airforce. After the day was done, the rats compared their experiences amongst one another. The army, my ROTC, issued the rats all of their equipement that they'd be responsible for, for the next four years. The Marines/Navy got taken to a recital hall and got yelled at and shown powerpoint about how "Dont' Ask, Don't Tell" was repealed and how they shouldn't be homophobes or bigots. The airforce had a quick powerpoint presentation and served brownies and cupcakes.


How to Tell the Difference Between the Branches of the US Armed Forces!

If you give the command SECURE THE BUILDING, here is what the different services would do:

The NAVY would turn out the lights and lock the doors.

The ARMY would surround the building with defensive fortifications, tanks and concertina wire.

The MARINE CORPS would assault the building, using overlapping fields of fire from all appropriate points on the perimeter.

The [CH]AIR FORCE would take out a three-year lease with an option to buy the building.

(This post was last modified: 11-03-2017 01:29 PM by Geomann180.)
11-03-2017 01:29 PM
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RE: Let's have a laugh - share some jokes - Geomann180 - 11-03-2017 01:29 PM

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