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Let's have a laugh - share some jokes
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Suits Offline
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Post: #265
RE: Let's have a laugh - share some jokes
(11-29-2017 10:27 PM)Geomann180 Wrote:  
(11-27-2017 02:56 AM)Paracelsus Wrote:  A man is walking down the beach and finds a lamp in the sand. When he rubs the lamp, a genie pops out and offers him three wishes. "But," the genie tells the man, "there is a price. Whatever you get, whatever you wish for, your ex wife gets double.

The man says "I'd like a red Ferrari."
Bam, a red Ferrari appears right there. "And as I said, I have given your ex-wife two Ferraris," says the genie.
The man says, "I'd like a million dollars."
Bam, a million dollars in unmarked bills appears in front of the man. "And as I said, I have now given your ex-wife two million dollars," says the genie. "You have one wish left. What will it be?"

The man thinks about it for a moment.

Then he looks at the genie and says "Genie, I want to be beaten half to death."

I've heard the same joke but with a slightly different punchline.

"Well, I've always wanted to donate a kidney."

G

Time for a modern twist.

A man is walking down the beach and finds a lamp in the sand. When he rubs the lamp, a genie pops out and offers him three wishes. "But," the genie tells the man, "there is a price. Whatever you get, whatever you wish for, your ex wife gets double.

The man says "I'd like a job that pays 5 million dollars a year with a contract that guarantees a minimum of 30 years of employment."
The man immediately gets a call on his phone and is offered the CFO position at Yahoo.

A helicopter arrives within moments and a HR rep and Yahoo's CEO join him for a quick contract signing.

After they depart, the genie informs the man that his wife has been hired as CTO of Google and will be earning $10 million dollars a year.

Then the genie asks him for his second wish. The man thinks for a moment and then says, "I'd like a million dollars."

Bam, a million dollars in unmarked bills appears in front of the man. "And as I said, I have now given your ex-wife two million dollars," says the genie. "You have one wish left. What will it be?"

Then he looks at the genie and says "Genie, I want to remarry my ex-wife."

"You've got it," says the genie.

A series of helicopters arrive, bringing a justice of the peace, witnesses and the man's ex-wife.

They marriage ceremony is quickly performed and the two are rejoined in holy matrimony.

Just as the man and his newly remarried wife are about to depart to start their new life together...again...the man says, "Hold on one second."

He calls up the CEO's office at Yahoo and informs the CEO that he is quitting his job.

Then he turns to his wife and says, "I want a divorce."

(This post was last modified: 11-29-2017 10:44 PM by Suits.)
11-29-2017 10:43 PM
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RE: Let's have a laugh - share some jokes - Suits - 11-29-2017 10:43 PM

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