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Let's have a laugh - share some jokes
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Touchdown Offline
Pigeon

Posts: 3
Joined: Dec 2019
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Post: #447
RE: Let's have a laugh - share some jokes
An older man from the gym told me this one. It's a bit of a long one but I had a hearty laugh when he told it to me. Forgive me if there's something similar in this thread - I haven't read the whole thing.

So a man goes to bar, sits down and orders a drink. The bartender comes over to ask how he's doing when the man says to him: "I'll bet you $100 dollars that I can lick my eyeball."

"No way, impossible. I'll take that bet." the bartender replies. The man smiles and goes to remove his fake eye, licks it, and places it back in the socket. "I'll be taking that $100 now please," to which the bartender hands it over.

A couple nights pass by and the man returns to the same bar, where the same bartender is working. Similar to the other night, the man gets a drink and grabs the bartender's attention, telling him: "I'll bet you $200 that I can bite my own elbow."

The bartender scoffs - "There's no way you can do that either! I'll take that bet" The man smiles and places his hands in his mouth to remove his fake-teeth, which he then uses to bite his own elbow. "Fine, I guess you win again," says the bartender as he hands over the $200.

A few nights later the man returns to the same bar, where the same bartender is working. The man once again approaches the bartender to make a bet with him. The man says "I'll bet you $500 dollars that if you slide a bar-glass down the bar-table, I'll be able to take a piss and aim every single drop into the glass to fill it, without any piss dripping onto the bar,"

The bartender is astonished. "There's absolutely no way that's possible. This is an easy $500 for me," So the bartender reaches for a glass as the man whips out his junk and aims it upwards. The bartender slides the glass down the bar-table and the man begins to piss, missing every single drop, the majority of it splattering all over the table. The bartender cracks up and begins laughing as the man takes out $500 and hands it to the bartender. The bartender says to the man: "I don't understand why you would bet so much money for something so difficult to do. That was an easy $500 for me,"

The man, smiling to himself, replies to the bartender, while making a gesture towards another customer: "I made a bet with the guy over there for $1000 that I could piss all over your bar, and you'd be smiling and laughing after I did so,"
01-25-2020 05:49 PM
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RE: Let's have a laugh - share some jokes - Touchdown - 01-25-2020 05:49 PM

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