Read The Forum Rules: We have a clear set of rules to keep the forum running smoothly. Click here to review them.

Post Reply 
Morbidly obese. Desperate for advice on where to start.
Author Message
etwsake Offline
Gold Member

Posts: 312
Joined: Dec 2014
Reputation: 6
Post: #1
Morbidly obese. Desperate for advice on where to start.
I was reluctant to start this thread, but my situation gets more desperate by the day and if I don't do something drastic it will be too late.

I'm 39 years old, 6 feet tall, and just weighed in at over 300 pounds. I'm not just fat....I'm fucking fat and I'm feeling powerless to reverse it.

A few years ago I was in the best shape I'd been in in about a decade. I lost about 70 pounds of fat and was down to about 240 pounds. Still fat, but it was a tremendous improvement over 300+.

In the last year I put it all back on. I know my mental health played a role in this, but now my depression and weight are so intertwined I don't know where one ends and the other begins.

I've tried dozens of times to replicate my success using the same methods that worked the last time (protein/veggies diet, no carbs, no sugars; weightlifting; cardio) but I can't seem to make it stick more than a few days.

I always go right back to overeating. And I eat the worst shit imaginable for the human body. Lots of oily fatty foods and sugar and chocolate. I get that dopamine blast from the shitty foods and feel really great for an hour or so, and then the self-loathing creeps in. The best way to drown it out? More junk food. Everyone can see the pattern here.

I quit drinking alcohol and haven't had a drop in two years, and I intend to keep it that way. But without booze to soothe me to sleep, any time I've felt anxiety I've turned to food as my drug of choice.

Needless to say I haven't been getting laid.

And now it's worse than just not even wanting to approach women. I don't even want my family, friends, or coworkers to see me. I'm so ashamed of what a fat pig I've become I just want to hide in my room like a recluse.

And I live in Japan, home of some very healthy eating options and a healthy, active lifestyle. Most people come here and drop pounds like crazy. I've done the opposite.

I'm ashamed and disgusted with myself. It was bad enough when I got this fat over years and years of self-indulgence, but after struggling to lose all the weight and watching it come right back on; I just can't express how terrible that feels.

But I have a very simple choice: Either I do something drastic and get myself the fuck back on track right now, or I'm gonna die alone after eating myself to an early grave.

I'm appealing to anyone here that's been in my shoes or even remotely knows what this feels like. I need to find the will power and discipline to make it work. I'm so far gone right now I don't even know where to start...starve myself for a week or two? That always ends in me binging after a few days.

I apologize for displaying such obvious desperation. I know the point of this website is to be self-reliant, but I've never felt so defeated and hopeless before. I just want to get back on the path to burning fat, building muscle, and being healthy. I want to not hate the very fucking sight of myself in the mirror.

Thank you for reading.
05-07-2017 03:09 AM
Find all posts by this user Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[-] The following 27 users Like etwsake's post:
Transsimian, UlteriorMotive, Giovonny, billbudsocket, debeguiled, Number one bummer, Jack_Smith, Soothesayer, Latan, samsamsam, komatiite, kinjutsu, Matrixdude, DJ-Matt, Kaii, stugatz, doc holliday, Vacancier Permanent, Chowder Head, gework, Prince Machiavelli, Tytalus, Gmac, Marshall D. Teach, Gopnik, Ivanis, RunsWithScissors
Post Reply 

Messages In This Thread
Morbidly obese. Desperate for advice on where to start. - etwsake - 05-07-2017 03:09 AM

Forum Jump:

User(s) browsing this thread: 1 Guest(s)

Contact Us | | Return to Top | Return to Content | Mobile Version | RSS Syndication