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Confession thread
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BeardedMastodon Offline

Posts: 116
Joined: Aug 2018
Reputation: 1
Post: #42
RE: Confession thread
Ok, I am actually really glad this came up... something I have been wanting to share, that I haven’t even dared to put on the internet.. because it’s specific enough that well.. my social circle could easily figure out it’s me. But hey, this isn’t reddit!

So I was pretty clean cut in college( other than like ahh one night), and we had a student farm where we even had cows and butchered them (part of the Aggie department). I was the farm foreman so I had the keys. It was just me, Jack (the best friend who you always reconsider) a girl we called Cady (she once told us she wanted to be a pro
golfer and we called her that from there on out, Jack gave her this nickname, he could not spell)

Anyways. Cady was a peacock among the chickens, the only hot girl in our department.. and really hot! Yet she liked doing agg stuff and butchering, cool chick, they kind where you thought she had slept with every other guy and your turn was next, but she was really just playing everybody and didn’t sleep around much...

Anyways. We had bond fires after a hard day, and to make a long story short Jack wanted a shot at Cady so much he couldn’t take it anymore, and he told me that evening “ I am sick of this, I am just going to do whatever the hell I want and say whatever the hell I want”

After just random conversation Jack says” the fires getting low, we need more wood” and Cady says “I need wood”. To which my former bud Jack says “ bullshit your all talk, it’s all bullshit, Cady, I bet you don’t even like sex, you just like attention!” She stared at him for 10 seconds... it seemed a lot longer.. maybe 98 seconds or so... I was sure she was going to break into tears! Her whole persona, discovered! And confronted!

...she didn’t. What she did was totally unexpected, she got up and slowly walked away from the campfire, I was going to get up to comfort her, but in shock I just kind of stood there. And she walked back slowly, like paper bag blowing in the wind with a rock in it slow.

She came back with two hands full of green corn fed herferd shit!! I thought she was going to throw it at Jack, but rather she threw both handfulls at me. It hit my eye, and well my first reaction was to jump up. Jack meanwhile was holding a chunk of hay to rekindle the fire (like 1/2 foot). It utter shock he dropped it, right on the fire, it flared up and with my eyes covered in “processed cow corn” I was more concerned with shit being in my face so I ignored the slow build up of heat... untill the hay reached its flash point and flared up!

All of my hair on my head... seared, burnt, smelling terrible. Cady was too shocked to do anything, but Jack he dragged me to the water troughs and dunked my head in.. 5 min later after splashing water in my face and rinsing my nose, eyes and mouth I ask for a mirror. Caddy pulls one out of her purse.... the only fully intact hair I had was my eyebrows... which the wet cow shit covered.

Caddy slowly said.... “Green shit saves eyes”...

I am pretty pissed at this point, and I don’t know what came into me, but I asked Cady for a shovel, and out of confusion she looked for one and handed it to me... I scooped up a big pile of cow shit, and for the next 30 seconds I must of thrown 120lbs of cow crap at her, while she stood there in shock...

We really didn’t know how to redeem the night so well we thought we would try. Cady had anti nausea patches in her purse(scopolamine ) which we read you could get high off of and I had some DXM pills. We each put like 7 patches all over our body. (Cady being a tease acted like she was going to put them on her ass and rack, but you know just put them on her stomach and back).

Next thing I know we all wake up and we each notice (but too timid to tell each other untill weeks later) a tattoo that says “ Shit show sisters, shit saves they eyes!” With a tattoo of the eye and the pyramid from the dollar bill with a cow taking a shit over it!!!! ( mine is on my stomach).

Both Jack and I, when we find out about each other tats , blame Cady, we are so furious at her, she just a big tease... her being so hot... and it led to what.. to this..!! We decide to get back at her.

She was really into nature and stuff and Native American Indian lore.. we didn’t yet have a plan on how to get back at her, but we just wanted to make her look like an idiot ASAP. Next time we were around the camp fire on the farm, we made sure she was good and drunk. And we were some too.. we thought, let’s get her to eat some random ass plants, like a lot of them. We saw some weeds in the ditches with this spiky ball fruit hanging down and I said “ hey Caddy, the native Americans use to eat those, they had a tangy flavor” well She nibbled on it, seemed to be ok.. like a minute later (yeah we were drunk) and we said eat the whole damn plant Pocahontas! She did..things got weird really weird, she started talking to people who didn’t exist, started itching all over and saying it felt hot as hell (was like 40 degrees) Jack and I left, because frankly we were so pissed and fed up with her being a tease and attention whore at this point we thought maybe it would show her we were done with her bullshit. Anyways, on Monday she didn’t show up for class... we were kind of worried but didn’t say anything because we didn’t want to be responsible. It turns out, it triggered a phycotic episode in her and she was admitted and had to drop out of school. She apparently didn’t remember eating the plant (which we later found out was datura), so we never said anything...

Heard she got pregnant like 3 years later and addicted to meth.....
(This post was last modified: 09-22-2018 04:04 AM by BeardedMastodon.)
09-22-2018 03:57 AM
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Messages In This Thread
Confession thread - Vladimir Poontang - 07-21-2018, 05:43 PM
RE: Confession thread - Vladimir Poontang - 07-21-2018, 05:44 PM
RE: Confession thread - Kona - 07-21-2018, 10:07 PM
RE: Confession thread - mikado - 07-21-2018, 09:30 PM
RE: Confession thread - ShotgunUppercuts - 07-22-2018, 12:49 AM
RE: Confession thread - Winston Wolfe - 07-22-2018, 01:37 AM
RE: Confession thread - CJ_W - 07-22-2018, 11:45 AM
RE: Confession thread - Mr. D - 07-22-2018, 12:13 PM
RE: Confession thread - RIslander - 07-22-2018, 02:29 PM
RE: Confession thread - Horus - 07-22-2018, 02:34 PM
RE: Confession thread - RIslander - 07-22-2018, 02:43 PM
RE: Confession thread - Diop - 07-22-2018, 09:23 PM
RE: Confession thread - DJ-Matt - 07-23-2018, 09:45 AM
RE: Confession thread - debeguiled - 07-22-2018, 02:18 PM
RE: Confession thread - RIslander - 07-22-2018, 09:45 PM
RE: Confession thread - vinman - 07-23-2018, 07:23 AM
RE: Confession thread - Horus - 07-23-2018, 07:29 AM
RE: Confession thread - debeguiled - 07-23-2018, 10:07 AM
RE: Confession thread - Hypno - 07-25-2018, 05:04 AM
RE: Confession thread - Geomann180 - 07-24-2018, 08:21 AM
RE: Confession thread - balybary - 07-23-2018, 10:14 AM
RE: Confession thread - YoungBlade - 07-24-2018, 12:54 AM
RE: Confession thread - balybary - 07-24-2018, 01:29 AM
RE: Confession thread - MPD - 07-24-2018, 06:15 AM
RE: Confession thread - YoungBlade - 07-24-2018, 08:26 AM
RE: Confession thread - Suits - 07-24-2018, 08:38 AM
RE: Confession thread - ShotgunUppercuts - 07-24-2018, 06:35 PM
RE: Confession thread - Contagion - 07-24-2018, 11:52 PM
RE: Confession thread - Mikestar - 07-27-2018, 06:02 PM
RE: Confession thread - Tex Cruise - 08-01-2018, 03:25 AM
RE: Confession thread - ADEBISIGARANA - 08-02-2018, 12:50 PM
RE: Confession thread - Fortis - 08-02-2018, 01:00 PM
RE: Confession thread - choichoi - 08-03-2018, 01:40 PM
RE: Confession thread - Vladimir Poontang - 09-21-2018, 06:03 PM
RE: Confession thread - flyinghorse - 09-21-2018, 08:17 PM
RE: Confession thread - Echovoid_52 - 09-21-2018, 09:27 PM
RE: Confession thread - trippin_squares - 09-21-2018, 09:43 PM
RE: Confession thread - Dulceácido - 09-21-2018, 09:57 PM
RE: Confession thread - exmormon - 09-22-2018, 12:39 AM
RE: Confession thread - torridon747 - 09-22-2018, 01:53 AM
RE: Confession thread - Vladimir Poontang - 09-22-2018, 06:41 AM
RE: Confession thread - BeardedMastodon - 09-22-2018 03:57 AM
RE: Confession thread - Saweeep - 09-22-2018, 04:43 AM
RE: Confession thread - USplayer642 - 09-22-2018, 08:48 AM
RE: Confession thread - torridon747 - 09-22-2018, 11:38 AM
RE: Confession thread - Vladimir Poontang - 09-22-2018, 01:01 PM
RE: Confession thread - Zaza from Zazaland - 09-22-2018, 02:15 PM
RE: Confession thread - Vladimir Poontang - 09-22-2018, 02:40 PM
RE: Confession thread - Dulceácido - 09-22-2018, 02:16 PM
RE: Confession thread - Vladimir Poontang - 09-22-2018, 04:39 PM
RE: Confession thread - torridon747 - 09-22-2018, 04:52 PM
RE: Confession thread - Vladimir Poontang - 09-22-2018, 04:55 PM
RE: Confession thread - Dulceácido - 09-22-2018, 04:57 PM
RE: Confession thread - Vladimir Poontang - 09-22-2018, 05:03 PM
RE: Confession thread - blck - 10-15-2018, 03:56 AM
RE: Confession thread - lonewolf1992 - 10-15-2018, 07:19 AM
RE: Confession thread - Horus - 10-15-2018, 08:04 AM
RE: Confession thread - Vladimir Poontang - 08-10-2019, 11:13 AM
RE: Confession thread - The Stronger Sex - 08-11-2019, 07:26 AM
RE: Confession thread - Vladimir Poontang - 12-17-2019, 06:51 PM

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