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When people say being a nice guy is bad, what do they mean?
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Hypno Offline

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Post: #24
RE: When people say being a nice guy is bad, what do they mean?
(10-21-2019 11:45 PM)Leonard D Neubache Wrote:  Even if you're a good looking "nice" guy then lasting attraction will dry up when a woman finally senses that she cannot commit your good graces to herself primarily.

In biological terms she's not interested in a guy that will "waste" an unreasonable amount of resources on people that aren't her or her kids. Husbands and fathers will have experienced this female drive in even the most characteristically benevolent wife from time to time.

John from down the road helps you out several times but when the time comes to return the favor she starts asking why he can't sort his own problems out.

This is unfortunately a female drive for which there is no simple solution and as women gain more power in society the civilised reciprocal behaviour of men required to keep society running smoothly is increasingly maligned in the relationship market.

When a woman says she wants a nice guy what she means is she wants a guy that will be nice to her but be ready to slit the throat of the guy who cut her off when he merged on to the freeway.

This is a good post as far as it goes, but it doesn't go far enough.

Even once you've selected a particular woman - she has beat out the competition - you will get farther by making her earn things and not being nice. In fact, being a bit unkind will stoke desire more than kindness. Its part of what makes them female.

Also, part of what makes someone a nice guy is that he puts other people first. But from an evolutionary perspective, women want a mate who puts himself and his family first. The irony is if you put yourself first before her, it only makes her want you more. So the opposite of being a nice guy is not being a bad guy, but simply being forceful enough to put your own interests first and demand that they are satisfied. This attitude can be manifest in a 1,000 different ways. Do you ask her where she wants to eat, or tell her that you are going to eat at X and you expect her to join you. When the host seats you, do you accept the table or do you say no, we want that table over there. When she texts at dinner, do you wait for her to finish or do you call her out for her rude behaviour. Thrown in some dominance to take it to another level - if you don't put that phone away, I'm going to have to bend you over my knee and give you some spankings right here in the restaurant.

None of those things require you to lose your moral compass, although they can border on narcissism. But that is what women find attractive.
11-12-2019 07:09 AM
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RE: When people say being a nice guy is bad, what do they mean? - Hypno - 11-12-2019 07:09 AM

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