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NEWB FAQ: Comprehensive Guide Answering Common Newbie Questions
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CJ Offline
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Post: #1
NEWB FAQ: Comprehensive Guide Answering Common Newbie Questions
I have no problem answering questions, but these ones keep coming up, so let's try to use this guide before asking them again and again...


1. Where do I start & How do I stop being so lame?

A lot of guys initially getting into game want to know what they can do to immediately improve their success with women. You'll hear "be confident" thrown around a lot. While that is true, what you don't hear is how to improve your social confidence. I'd advise every newbie to start off by just being a friendlier person, and by that I mean start small talk with your cashier, bank-teller, etc, say hello to people you don't know on the street, overcome your fear of the unknown. The second thing you can do right away is start working out. You don't have to be He-Man, but a regular exercise routine never hurt a man's confidence. If working out isn't for you a good alternative is learning a martial art.

Here's some tips on being a man from Roosh's blog.

Here's more solid tips from Mixx.

Above all else, stop over-analyzing every little thing, and start doing.


2. Am I too old/young to get into game?

I've been seeing this one a lot. First off, you can never be too young to learn about game. As for being too old, can your dick still get hard? If so, you probably owe it to your penis to keep gaming. Look at guys like Tenderman100, don't let age be an excuse.


3. Approach anxiety & What to open with:

This is a common deterrent for many guys getting into game; they simply lack the ability to go up to a woman they've never met and say, "Hello."

Roosh has blogged on openers and AA many times:
http://www.rooshv.com/hung-up-on-the-opener
http://www.rooshv.com/the-best-motivator...hing-girls
http://www.rooshv.com/7-signs-you-should...ach-a-girl
http://www.rooshv.com/foundation-of-your-game
http://www.rooshv.com/how-to-deal-with-approach-anxiety

I could go on, but the basic idea is to become comfortable through repetition. Think of any skill you've learned in your life, be it a sport, an instrument or a foreign language. How did you get good? Practice. The more you approach, the less you care what a girl says because you know you can always approach another one.

As far as canned openers go, it really doesn't matter what you say, but how you say it. I find that situational openers offer the most to talk about though.


4. Is 'this' an IOI?

Chances are if you *think* it is an IOI, it is, and you should approach. Or if you've already approached and are in a good conversation, you should start finding out just how DTF she is through touching and sexual innuendos. If it wasn't an IOI, not a big deal either, you took a chance and worst case scenario you scare away a girl that wasn't DTF anyway; if she sticks around just work on building attraction and try again.


5. What if I don't know which girl to pick?

Let's say you've got two girls on opposite ends of the bar that are both into you, but you can only try to bang one tonight, what do you do? This is very simple: You pick the horniest one. If both seem like a 'sure thing' then you pick the more attractive one. If you pass up on the sure thing at any point in the night, you will more than likely regret it later. If the girl is especially DTF, work on getting her out of that venue and into a bed, ASAP!


6. Dealing with cock-blocking:

Roosh's line: “Did you really just do that? I’m being friendly and respectful to your friend and you rudely interrupt. Did your parents teach you to be anti-social like that?” from this blog post.

Here's a post from Tuth that links to many other forms of rooster blocking.

The main thing is to keep your cool, and to not let the offender get away with their crime unpunished. You want to give the perpetrator something to think about next time they try to stop you (and their friend) from getting laid.


7. What about Facebook?

My advice is don't add girls to your facebook, especially before you've banged them. Facebook gives away too much information for free, and that could cost you your prospect. If the girl brings up facebook I tell her I'm one of the 23 people left on Earth that doesn't have one, and I'm waiting for a personal invitation and six figure contract from Mark Zuckerberg before I join. Only once has this cost me a potential bang. The only exception is if you're in a place where you can't communicate with a phone, then you'll just have to do what it takes.


8. Texting:

The most common questions here are 'When should I text?' and 'What should I text?' I follow Roosh's texting mantra of keep it simple. Here's my common text template, all from a previous post I made and assuming you've yet to bang the girl you are texting:

I always open with a simple, "What's up?" I don't even put my name, if she wants to know badly enough she can text "Who is this?" or whatever. Telling her "What's up, this is CJ" has never made a difference.

I don't wait extra days to text a girl. If I feel like I can get the bang quickest by texting her the next day, that's what I do. Otherwise I try to text her within 48 hours. If you go much passed that you run the risk of her not wanting to respond to what could become a random name/number. The ideal time of day for this text is between 7pm and 9pm. This is a window frame where she should be out of work/class, but not asleep or out for the night.

During that first exchange I'll banter meaningless bullshit with her, as per playing girls' retarded text message games. I don't help her write a novel mind you, there's pauses to match hers and I try to always make sure she sends the last message that day/night.

Making sure she sent the last message means she's waiting for you to eventually respond, I do this the next day/night. Don't wait more than 24 hours, or she's likely to just divert to one of the other half dozen guys she's texting.

During the second exchange I keep things more simplistic, trying to set up a date. If she doesn't commit to anything here, then I wait several days before trying a restart using "what's up" again and basically going through the routine from the start. If you don't get her out within two weeks, you can safely delete her number as she's put you in texting limbo.

Always read the crap you type before you send it. If it sounds really dumb, then you should probably re-write it.


9. Why did she flake? How can I stop flaking?

So many guys that are just getting into game ask this question. They think that just because they get a number from a friendly girl, had a great first date, texted each other all night, made out and everything but sex happened, that there's no way she'd flake on them now. WRONG! The reality is you will be flaked on a lot as you delve into game. There's a million reasons girls will flake, but to me the most common is:

"The Curse of the Drunken Bar Chick"

-Girls will get drunk out at the bar, do whatever the hell they want - be it making out, getting groped, blowing some dude in the bathroom - as long as they don't get pregnant nothing they did really happened or counts, because guess what? They were drunk!

More fun facts about girls:
1. They'll make out with anyone (especially when drunk)
2. They'll give their number to anyone (especially when drunk)
3. They'll text anyone (especially when bored)
4. They bleed out their snatches every month and get even more illogical, acting solely on emotion.

So, there's a good chance she has other options/distractions going on and you're not a priority. Don't make her a priority either.

The good news is there are two solutions to flaking:

1. You accept that flaking happens, and stop giving a shit about it. In fact you start to expect her to flake, but don't care because you're too busy with your other options.

2. Bang her the day/night you meet her. The fact is, if you bang her and then she flakes, who cares? You've already got what you wanted! Even if you want to make her your girlfriend, Bang her ASAP. Conversely, it's a lot of fun to flake on girls after you've banged them.


10. Breaking a cold streak/dry spell:

As your game develops you start to expect pussy on the regular, so you may be a bit stunned when all of a sudden your fuck buddies have moved on and you have no new prospects. Don't worry, this is normal and you will eventually get laid again. My advice (in order of importance):

- Go out more! If you only go out twice a week, try four nights, if you're going out 7 nights a week, try day game. You get the idea. Just make as many approaches as possible.
- Don't panic! You'll start to look desperate and scare girls away.
- Casually hit up old fuck buddies that fell out of your rotation. You never know, they may be in a dry spell too.
- Try to find a slut online. Don't make this your sole avenue, but you can really supplement your total approaches by spamming online messages hoping to end that drought. Keep in mind online interactions do little to improve your game.
- Lower your standards. I'm not saying go out and fuck a whale, but consider banging a very average to slightly below average girl just to get the wheels rolling again.


11. Re-connecting with ex-gfs, fuck-buddies, friends, neighbors, etc:

When it comes to getting back with a girl, or making another attempt at a girl now that you have 'game' on your side, the general advice is to forget it, and spend your time looking for other girls instead. The reason for this is because you care too much; trust me on this, deep down you do. An ex can also become a crutch, inhibiting you from discovering the delicious tastes of new fruits. The real reason you want to get with an ex is because that is more comfortable for you; don't be too much of a pussy to step out of your comfort zone and try something new.

With girls you've already known for years (friends/neighbors), they've put you in their 'friend-zone' by now, so it's quite unlikely you'll ever bang them, no matter how much you've changed.

The exceptions:

Girls you've known for a long-time, but never really got to know each other. Maybe this is a friend of a friend you've seen at parties, but never talked. Or the girl that lives in your apartment complex that you've seen for months, but never engaged in conversation. In this case you likely don't even exist in that girl's mind, so game away.

Fuck-buddies, and I don't mean the kind you've gone out to dinner with, shared some deep conversations with, but never dated. I'm talking about girls that you used strictly for sex. Maybe she fell out of your rotation, or you just got tired of banging her because something new came along. Now you're bored on a Friday night, on a drought, or you just can't find a girl that swallows, go ahead and hit that bitch up and see if she's still a nympho (she is).


12. What is Oneitis and how can I avoid it?

So you got some game, got a girl, but now you've reverted back to your pussy ways putting her happiness before yours. Worse yet, you're on the forum asking us what you can do to keep her/get her back! Don't be that guy, we'll all laugh at you and then tell you to remember there's other girls out there.

I'm not saying to condition yourself to be completely numb and void of emotions, that's robot-like and unnatural. Instead condition yourself to not be afraid of losing any particular girl. When there's no fear of loss you can say and do whatever you like, because you know you can easily go out and replace her. Plus, if you're like yours truly, you've always got more than one girl in the rotation with your eyes on the next recruit, so you never have to worry about going without sex for long.


13. How do I un-game a girl?

Some of you are asking why the hell you'd ever want to do this? Well, let's say you've got a girl, but you've had enough of her. Maybe you want to let her down soft, or maybe you're worried that she's bat-shit crazy and might try to Bobbit you if you break things off.

Luckily un-gaming a girl is easy, just do what you used to do before discovering game: act needy, call/text her all the time, beg for sex, start acting real jealous when she goes out, etc.

My preferred option is to just phase her out. Start hanging out less and less, while returning fewer calls/texts until she gets the idea that you'll both be moving in separate directions soon.

The other option, is to completely ignore her. This may seem like a real dick move, but think of how many girls have flaked on you. Turnabout is fair play, and sometimes this is the only viable option.


14. Going out solo:

So you're getting into game, and you want to go out every night, but can't find someone to go with you everyday, no big deal! Roosh, G and Houston have you covered. The idea was crazy to me when I first got into game, but now I have no problem at all.

Myself, I like to post up at the bar on busy nights, check out the action have a few drinks while talking to the bartenders (flirting with them if they're girls), and let the action come to me. You can get a lot of conversations started with girls waiting to get their drinks. Aside from that I always remember that Happy Hour is your friend, and I make no excuses for being out alone. I'm out having a drink alone, because that's what I wanted to do.




I hope this list helps serve as a reference to RVF's new members, and can help you quickly answer early questions as you embark on a path to becoming happier and more successful with women. My final piece of advice is to always remember to keep approaching, more and more, as a fellow playa on this site once said, "The only bad approach, is the one you did not make."
03-08-2012 03:01 PM
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Basil Ransom Offline
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Post: #2
RE: Comprehensive Guide Answering Common Newbie Questions
Great thread idea, it's nice to have threads here devoted to enhancing your game.

#1 is the most interesting thing to me, as a non-newb. Aside from all the game, there is the question, "Are you cool?" You meet someone, and sometimes immediately, you can sense that this person is Not Cool. What goes into making that judgment? How do you develop an edge? It's not talked about much, and it's sort of a prerequisite to success with women. All the game in the world might not work if you're not cool. There are aspects that determine how cool you are that are immediately apparent, like your look and voice, while others may take time to evaluate, like your lifestyle and background.

For instance, you may hear a guy say all of one sentence, and you already have the strong sensation that he is a loser. You just want to get away. I think your voice is a part of it, that often goes unnoticed when people think about such things - sometimes I'll hear a guy talk, and I can tell immediately that they're a loser from their cadence, pitch and other vocal qualities alone. (If I knew nothing else about him, I'd think that of Neil Strauss.)

This topic probably deserves it's own thread.

Additionally, #14 made me think of another possible thread: What distinguishes the game of Roosh and this forum from mainstream pickup and alternately non-game guys. Going solo, suiting up, traveling, building an interesting background, calling out cockblockers and fatties, animalistic sexual rites...
(This post was last modified: 03-08-2012 04:01 PM by Basil Ransom.)
03-08-2012 04:00 PM
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Enfant_Terrible Offline
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Post: #3
RE: Comprehensive Guide Answering Common Newbie Questions
Dinner

This ought to be a sticky
(This post was last modified: 03-08-2012 04:49 PM by Enfant_Terrible.)
03-08-2012 04:49 PM
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Skyhigh Offline
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Post: #4
RE: Comprehensive Guide Answering Common Newbie Questions
(03-08-2012 04:49 PM)Enfant_Terrible Wrote:  Dinner

This ought to be a sticky

That only happens to betas
03-08-2012 05:31 PM
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Scott Offline
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Post: #5
RE: Comprehensive Guide Answering Common Newbie Questions
Chocolates

Even though they're the basics it's pretty damn cool to have it all in one place.
03-08-2012 05:38 PM
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MrXY Offline
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Post: #6
RE: Comprehensive Guide Answering Common Newbie Questions
Newbs also need to learn correct body language, which is a huge part of sexual communication. Supposedly, 70% of what you are communicating to others about yourself is done through body language
It is a fundamental pillar of good game

"If anything's gonna happen, it's gonna happen out there!- Captain Ron
03-08-2012 05:50 PM
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peterthephoenix Offline
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Post: #7
RE: Comprehensive Guide Answering Common Newbie Questions
+1 This is a really good thread. Before I found this forum I spent a lot of time on the Lovesystems forum. Which was pretty good, guys faced a lot of the same issues as me, and knowing I wasn't going crazy helped.

But I found it usually boiled down to a few core issues. Shit that could have been covered by a few well detailed sticky threads. I like this forum because it innovates into new game.

Another common question by rookies is: How do I get the "girl in my class/girl next door/girl I like"?

We can give tips. But chances are you're going to fuck it up. That's ok. It's a learning experience.
But general advice would be: chill out, be interesting, don't be needy, see other girls.

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03-08-2012 05:57 PM
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Deluge Offline
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Post: #8
RE: Comprehensive Guide Answering Common Newbie Questions
Amazing thread dude. We ought to sticky this. And add on stuff dispelling Height/Race/Looks Insecurities that always pop up.
03-09-2012 12:40 AM
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Samseau Offline
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Post: #9
RE: Comprehensive Guide Answering Common Newbie Questions
Ought to be stickied in the newb forum.

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03-09-2012 01:24 AM
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CJ Offline
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Post: #10
RE: Comprehensive Guide Answering Common Newbie Questions
(03-08-2012 05:38 PM)Scott Wrote:  Even though they're the basics it's pretty damn cool to have it all in one place.

That's the idea man, I want guys to join this forum with their feet on the ground running.

These were the questions I saw that were asked the most. The only one I didn't address was the frequent questions about online dating, but I have little expertise there (perhaps a good area for improvement?), and I didn't want to go all DASH on you guys.
03-09-2012 03:24 AM
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WestCoast Offline
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Post: #11
RE: Comprehensive Guide Answering Common Newbie Questions
Love the thread, only part I kinda disagree with is the Facebook section. I work at a computer so having them post girly stuff all the time just makes the other ones jealous. Maybe I'm wrong though?
03-09-2012 11:50 AM
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WestCoast Offline
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Post: #12
RE: Comprehensive Guide Answering Common Newbie Questions
As mentioned on the FB thread FML i just deleted that shit. I cockblocked myself by having drama on there, grim reaper sickel death to my dick. I'll be out swooping today for the pure sake of punishment to my body for being a dumbass and not listening to the clear players on here.
03-13-2012 10:04 PM
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Deluge Offline
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Post: #13
RE: Comprehensive Guide Answering Common Newbie Questions
(03-09-2012 11:50 AM)WestCoast Wrote:  Love the thread, only part I kinda disagree with is the Facebook section. I work at a computer so having them post girly stuff all the time just makes the other ones jealous. Maybe I'm wrong though?

Facebook is a great way to make girls jealous. A girl made a check in with me at her place this weekend, when another girl I'm gaming asked what I did that day I gave a vague answer. Made her hampster spin so to speak. Make sure the check in is JUST you and one other girl and it will set off jealously spikes in your "plates" and in your ex's.
03-14-2012 01:56 AM
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BadgerHut Offline
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Post: #14
RE: Comprehensive Guide Answering Common Newbie Questions
(03-08-2012 05:50 PM)MrXY Wrote:  Newbs also need to learn correct body language, which is a huge part of sexual communication. Supposedly, 70% of what you are communicating to others about yourself is done through body language
It is a fundamental pillar of good game

Another reason it's good to try some "post up at the bar and have a drink" game. Stand in the same place for 30 minutes with open body language and you'll get comfortable. And no beer shields, hold your drink at your waist or put it on the bar itself.
03-14-2012 03:26 PM
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soup Offline
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Post: #15
RE: Comprehensive Guide Answering Common Newbie Questions
(03-14-2012 03:26 PM)BadgerHut Wrote:  
(03-08-2012 05:50 PM)MrXY Wrote:  Newbs also need to learn correct body language, which is a huge part of sexual communication. Supposedly, 70% of what you are communicating to others about yourself is done through body language
It is a fundamental pillar of good game

Another reason it's good to try some "post up at the bar and have a drink" game. Stand in the same place for 30 minutes with open body language and you'll get comfortable. And no beer shields, hold your drink at your waist or put it on the bar itself.

This is exactly what I do.
03-14-2012 08:00 PM
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Post: #16
RE: Comprehensive Guide Answering Common Newbie Questions
(03-14-2012 08:00 PM)soup Wrote:  
(03-14-2012 03:26 PM)BadgerHut Wrote:  
(03-08-2012 05:50 PM)MrXY Wrote:  Newbs also need to learn correct body language, which is a huge part of sexual communication. Supposedly, 70% of what you are communicating to others about yourself is done through body language
It is a fundamental pillar of good game

Another reason it's good to try some "post up at the bar and have a drink" game. Stand in the same place for 30 minutes with open body language and you'll get comfortable. And no beer shields, hold your drink at your waist or put it on the bar itself.

This is exactly what I do.

At last i can register. Was waiting for the first of the month lolll

I was reading u guys for almost a month now and enjoyed it alot.
I hope roosh wont be to hard on me as a newbee Smile
12-01-2012 12:04 PM
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Albert Offline
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Post: #17
RE: NEWB FAQ: Comprehensive Guide Answering Common Newbie Questions
I've been reading these forums for 6 months and never bothered to check this thread. Great info on the basics/fundamentals.
12-05-2013 09:51 PM
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birdie num num Offline
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Post: #18
RE: NEWB FAQ: Comprehensive Guide Answering Common Newbie Questions
This is a great list of fundamentals and the perfect starting point for newbies. Especially "stop over-analyzing every little thing, and start doing." That was my biggest stumbling block before adopting an attitude of "who gives a shit, we'll all be gone 100 years from now."

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(This post was last modified: 01-08-2014 04:23 PM by birdie num num.)
01-08-2014 04:15 PM
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h3ltrsk3ltr Offline
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Post: #19
RE: NEWB FAQ: Comprehensive Guide Answering Common Newbie Questions
My new study guide. I feel like a dick for not doing this right off.

So much for thinking I was smarter than the collective brain of RVF.

Per Ardua Ad Astra | "I have come here to chew bubblegum and kick ass. And I'm all out of bubblegum"

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11-15-2014 06:29 PM
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finedme Offline
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Post: #20
RE: NEWB FAQ: Comprehensive Guide Answering Common Newbie Questions
It would be great to post some definitions and what not to help out us noobs..

ONS= one night stand
P4p= pay for play
Shoring= banging a hooker w/o paying
HMV= high male value

You get the idea. I scratch my head at some of these because there are so many definitions and acronyms to learn...
03-26-2015 12:20 PM
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icyT Offline
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Post: #21
RE: NEWB FAQ: Comprehensive Guide Answering Common Newbie Questions
>or maybe you're worried that she's bat-shit crazy and might try to Bobbit you if you break things off.

>Luckily un-gaming a girl is easy, just do what you used to do before discovering game: act needy, call/text her all the time, beg for sex, start acting real jealous when she goes out, etc.

What if this just makes it worse? Would not want to fall asleep in same room if there was Sharon Osborne suspicion.
05-17-2015 03:15 PM
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redbeard Offline
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Post: #22
RE: NEWB FAQ: Comprehensive Guide Answering Common Newbie Questions
Bump. More newbies should read this.

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10-04-2015 08:26 PM
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Joined: Nov 2013
Reputation: 15
Post: #23
RE: NEWB FAQ: Comprehensive Guide Answering Common Newbie Questions
To any newbies browsing this thread, read this post and internalize it:

(12-01-2015 10:59 AM)Phatom Wrote:  1-That girls sleep with guys they just met, even raw dog.
2-That women cheat on their husbands.
3-That your value is fluid and you can be the biggest loser and still bang the hottest girl, if you are cool that day.
4-That an ugly girl might reject but a hot one like you.
5-That you'll never get out of the friend zone.

Here is the post link. Read the whole thread if you get the time.
(This post was last modified: 12-01-2015 05:06 PM by xpatplayer.)
12-01-2015 05:05 PM
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nickoz22 Offline
Male Feminist

Posts: 11
Joined: Jan 2016
Reputation: 0
Post: #24
RE: NEWB FAQ: Comprehensive Guide Answering Common Newbie Questions
Ty, OP. Excellent post.
01-22-2016 06:22 PM
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Druber Offline
Beta Orbiter
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Posts: 125
Joined: May 2015
Reputation: 0
Post: #25
RE: NEWB FAQ: Comprehensive Guide Answering Common Newbie Questions
Just got back from trying to do daygame (ended up as a bitch/pussy, and chickened out!). A good reminder to keep at it.
03-22-2016 09:25 AM
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