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NoPorn / NoFap Google Group - For Those Who're Serious
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Travola Offline
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Post: #4626
RE: NoPorn / NoFap Google Group - For Those Who're Serious
I relapsed today after 4 weeks, this sucks.

I feel like crap and wanna break this cycle.
01-02-2020 09:50 PM
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JiggyLordJr Offline
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Post: #4627
RE: NoPorn / NoFap Google Group - For Those Who're Serious
NoPorn - Normal mode
NoFap - Hard mode
NoNut - Extreme mode

Make this decade a clean one
(This post was last modified: 01-03-2020 12:27 AM by JiggyLordJr.)
01-03-2020 12:26 AM
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Sherman Offline
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Post: #4628
RE: NoPorn / NoFap Google Group - For Those Who're Serious
I would like to bring up a topic that I have not been able to find anywhere else. It is relevant to this thread. The insight has come to me through years of meditation. It is the connection between anger and lust. My claim is that anger sensitizes a man and opens the doors to sensuality. You can see this historically, for example, in the Roman Empire where high levels of violence and sexuality occur together. They are intimately connected.

This is the description of the psychological process.

If you closely examined your anger, you would discover that it is extremely painful. Every angry thought is like being branded with a hot fire. To bear that pain, your psychological defenses kick in to deaden it. That is why you may not even be aware that you are experiencing pain when you are angry. One way of deadening and diverting the mind from the pain of anger are sexual fantasies. The fantasies are like a cool fog that clouds the mind distracting it from the pain of the anger.

Anger is fire; sexual fantasies are a cool fog.

Anger sensitizes you and makes you sensual. When you have a burn (anger), you respond by applying a soothing ointment (sexual fantasies).

To reduce your lust, reduce your anger.

The only way that anger can enter the mind is through judgment. Don’t judge and you don’t get angry. Judgment is how the world enters you. “Judge not lest ye be judged” In other words, when you don’t judge a transgression, you don’t become part of it; i.e, the world has not entered you. So you have done nothing wrong. However, you can still “discern” – which is a purely objective realization, without any emotional attachment. But any judgment brings pain which needs to be soothed by the ointment of pleasure.

It seems that anger and lust are thus spiritual problems (judgment being a spiritual act), and other approaches don’t get to the root of the problem.

Rico... Sauve....
01-05-2020 07:05 PM
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redbeard Offline
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Post: #4629
RE: NoPorn / NoFap Google Group - For Those Who're Serious
11 weeks.

"Every saint has a past, every sinner a future."
01-13-2020 08:29 AM
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whitewashedblackguy Offline
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Post: #4630
RE: NoPorn / NoFap Google Group - For Those Who're Serious
5 weeks in, i believe. The only thing I’m having issues with is keeping eye contact with girls. It’s mildly irritating, and makes interactions awkward.

Travola Wrote:I relapsed today after 4 weeks, this sucks.

I feel like crap and wanna break this cycle.

Turn off your cell phone data, and don’t use WiFi at home. It makes relapsing much harder.

After talking to a young lady for a while, she told me “Even though your skin is black, I can tell your heart is white.”
01-13-2020 04:24 PM
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Mikeyd03 Offline
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Post: #4631
RE: NoPorn / NoFap Google Group - For Those Who're Serious
@redbeard congrats on 11 weeks, that’s a huge accomplishment.

Currently 3 weeks clean. The biggest thing I can say that has helped me is taking it one day at a time.

Recommit every morning: “I will conquer porn today.”

Another thing that helped: I eliminated one of my biggest triggers. Creeping on the social media accounts of my exes. Checking in on them always reiterated a feeling of loneliness/inadequacy in my own mind...which I would try to eliminate with porn.

Some side effects: moodiness, lack of sexual desire, difficulty sleeping, larger appetite

Beating this is an exercise of immense willpower. I can see how beating porn could parlay into many aspects of your life.

I beat porn now I can beat:

-the smartphone
-video games
-television
-alcohol
-sugar

And all of a sudden you gain huge chunks of time that can be reinvested into yourself.

One day at a time.
(This post was last modified: 01-15-2020 04:43 PM by Mikeyd03.)
01-15-2020 04:40 PM
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roberto Offline
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Post: #4632
RE: NoPorn / NoFap Google Group - For Those Who're Serious
Still struggling here. Just closed some tabs after browsing for a few minutes trying to find a cute girl, not a porn star.

It's ridiculous. I went a year clean. I have a great girl who gets me hard as a rock. Yet it I'm tired or bored, I impulsively want to open a private tab, even if I know it'll just bore me.

They who would give up essential Liberty, to purchase a little temporary Safety, deserve neither Liberty nor Safety- Benjamin Franklin, as if you didn't know...
01-16-2020 01:34 PM
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redbeard Offline
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Post: #4633
RE: NoPorn / NoFap Google Group - For Those Who're Serious
Can confirm. Looking at an ex’s social media accounts is one of the worst things you can do. Mentally, physically. emotionally, spiritually...avoid it at all costs.

"Every saint has a past, every sinner a future."
01-16-2020 04:38 PM
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BlastbeatCasanova Offline
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Post: #4634
RE: NoPorn / NoFap Google Group - For Those Who're Serious
To be clear, and forgive me if I asked this before, this is just No Fap and No Porn correct? You can still ejaculate while having sex with your wife/common-law wife?
01-17-2020 10:07 PM
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VNvet Away
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Post: #4635
RE: NoPorn / NoFap Google Group - For Those Who're Serious
(01-17-2020 10:07 PM)BlastbeatCasanova Wrote:  To be clear, and forgive me if I asked this before, this is just No Fap and No Porn correct? You can still ejaculate while having sex with your wife/common-law wife?

Yes, of course. Some guys do enjoy the benefits of semen retention, but that's a bit more hardcore.

In order of damage to yourself:

1. Porn.
...
...
...
2. Masturbation.
3. Ejaculation.
01-17-2020 10:25 PM
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Teedub Offline
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Post: #4636
RE: NoPorn / NoFap Google Group - For Those Who're Serious
Since I stopped drinking, I've had no desire to masturbate. I don't know if there's any correlation, as Muslims don't drink but do the latter, perhaps it's some kind of subconscious spiritual cleanse. Who knows.

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01-24-2020 10:45 AM
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debeguiled Offline
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Post: #4637
RE: NoPorn / NoFap Google Group - For Those Who're Serious
[Image: 2N0niKj.jpg]

“That sig BTW is a very asinine anti-family anti-parent quote. You live in a country where 40% of children grow up without a biological father, yet somehow “the greatest burden a child must bear is the unlived life of its parents”? Sorry but this is fruity Boomer nonsense.”

911
02-01-2020 01:57 PM
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Patriot Offline
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Post: #4638
RE: NoPorn / NoFap Google Group - For Those Who're Serious
I wanted to say that the this thread has helped me tremendously. I am 36 and a long time porn user, I am so happy that I am finally making strides in correcting this behavior. This is my first post, I have been a long time lurker of ROK and this forum but I feel the need to share my gratitude and a few things that helped me.

1) This thread/community. Having people with a shared issued, knowing, even if it is online, that you are not alone in trying to correct this behavior is truly helpful. Thanks to everyone who has shared experiences, tips and the like. When desire to open an incognito tab hit, I would come here instead.

2) Figuring out how to re-wire habits and behavior has been paramount in my behavior change, in the book 'Atomic Habits,' they talk about making bad habits and triggers to bad habits invisible, it has been one of the most helpful pieces of advice I have read.

3) The realization. I have realized so much about my consumption of porn and it is all negative, it pisses me off that I have let it dominate my life for so long. When I think about the time wasted, the things I could have done, written, built, money I could have made, projects I could have completed, etc., I haven't done the math but I would venture to guess that porn has taken literal years from my life. The realization of how much you really don't need it and the realization of how silly it is, step back and think about what you are watching, it's not hot, it's ridiculous. It is a ridiculous put on designed to make you weak and docile.

Hope this might help someone the way the way so many of everybody else's posts have helped me. Keep posting here, keep at it and thanks again everybody.
02-02-2020 10:17 AM
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redbeard Offline
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Post: #4639
RE: NoPorn / NoFap Google Group - For Those Who're Serious
Thanks for the post, Patriot. I'm glad this thread has helped you out.

Care to explain some of your habit changes?

(02-02-2020 10:17 AM)Patriot Wrote:  2) Figuring out how to re-wire habits and behavior has been paramount in my behavior change, in the book 'Atomic Habits,' they talk about making bad habits and triggers to bad habits invisible, it has been one of the most helpful pieces of advice I have read.

I've long been a fan of "goals < systems" as explained by Scott Adams. The concept is that if you can make a system (by removing the triggers) it'll be easy to stay clean. Creating systems (like turning my computer off early) has helped more then any app or blocker can.

"Every saint has a past, every sinner a future."
02-02-2020 10:43 AM
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Patriot Offline
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Post: #4640
RE: NoPorn / NoFap Google Group - For Those Who're Serious
(02-02-2020 10:43 AM)redbeard Wrote:  Thanks for the post, Patriot. I'm glad this thread has helped you out.

Care to explain some of your habit changes?

(02-02-2020 10:17 AM)Patriot Wrote:  2) Figuring out how to re-wire habits and behavior has been paramount in my behavior change, in the book 'Atomic Habits,' they talk about making bad habits and triggers to bad habits invisible, it has been one of the most helpful pieces of advice I have read.

I've long been a fan of "goals < systems" as explained by Scott Adams. The concept is that if you can make a system (by removing the triggers) it'll be easy to stay clean. Creating systems (like turning my computer off early) has helped more then any app or blocker can.


Sure. So in that book he speaks of another book, Allen Carr's "How to Quit Smoking," and explains that it repeats over and over that you really don't want to smoke and by the time the book is finished, smoking seems the most ridiculous thing ever. I have applied this to porn use and have told myself you don't really want to do it, it's just habit, you won't enjoy it and you won't feel good about yourself after.

The other thing is replacing the habit when something triggers that habit with something positive or at least inert. I visited this thread when I felt the need to reinforce that abstaining was the better option.

And, as many here have always pointed out, making the habit 'invisible' or more difficult to engage in. Turning off the computer early, putting phone on airplane mode, turning of mobile data, what have you. I also think having a go to hobby, something you can do singularly, like draw or work on a model car will help, idle hands and all that.
02-03-2020 01:19 PM
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Rob Banks Offline
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Post: #4641
RE: NoPorn / NoFap Google Group - For Those Who're Serious
I am currently in a situation where I'm not having sex after being married for years. I am trying to fix things with my wife and I have no desire to find another woman (as I discussed in another thread).

I also recently came to the realization that all sexual activity outside marriage (including masturbation) is wrong.

After all, priests go their whole lives without sex or masturbation, so it's not impossible to resist.

I don't watch porn, but that's only because I used to watch porn when I was in my teens and I became desensitized to it so it doesn't do anything for me anymore.

As far as the other thing, I can go about 3 or 4 days at a time without doing it. After 3 or 4 days, I get to the point where if I don't do it I can't sleep and I can't think about anything besides sex.

Does this eventually go away and become more tolerable? Is there anything that helps with this (maybe meditation, exercise, working or studying long hours, etc.)?
(This post was last modified: 02-03-2020 06:05 PM by Rob Banks.)
02-03-2020 06:02 PM
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Doubting Thomas Offline
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Post: #4642
RE: NoPorn / NoFap Google Group - For Those Who're Serious
I gave up porn as a New Year's resolution in 2016. Haven't used it since. I don't really ever think about it either or have urges to use it either.

No Fap is something much more recent that I started. I've been single for that time as well, so I guess it's really No Nut. I sort of noticed that most of the time I was masturbating, I wasn't even horny, just mostly bored. I've been doing that since late October, with one exception in early December. If I'm honest, it has been surprisingly easy for me. It makes me wonder if it is maybe just the result of a declining libido. I tried to do a No Fap once in my in my late teens or early 20s (I'm 30 now), and I remember struggling to get through 1 day. I know some people earlier in this thread stated libido can decline after doing No Fap, so it kind of makes it hard to tell cause from effect. I don't think masturbation is nearly harmful as pornography use, but best case scenario, it's unproductive.
02-03-2020 07:32 PM
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Rob Banks Offline
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Post: #4643
RE: NoPorn / NoFap Google Group - For Those Who're Serious
(02-03-2020 07:32 PM)Doubting Thomas Wrote:  ...I know some people earlier in this thread stated libido can decline after doing No Fap...

I sure hope so.

(02-03-2020 07:32 PM)Doubting Thomas Wrote:  ...I don't think masturbation is nearly harmful as pornography use, but best case scenario, it's unproductive.

I always feel like shit immediately afterwards, and then for at least a day or so I have no energy and I am less motivated to do things.

My body can immediately tell that something is off (i.e. there is no woman present).

It must be for a reason that religions look down on it and consider it a sin.
02-03-2020 07:45 PM
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redbeard Offline
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Post: #4644
RE: NoPorn / NoFap Google Group - For Those Who're Serious
14 weeks. No porn, no masturbation, no nut. If you would've told me a year ago that I wouldn't coom for 3 months, I would've laughed at you. If I can do it, you can too.

"I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me"

"Every saint has a past, every sinner a future."
02-04-2020 07:48 AM
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Patriot Offline
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Post: #4645
RE: NoPorn / NoFap Google Group - For Those Who're Serious
(02-03-2020 06:02 PM)Rob Banks Wrote:  I am currently in a situation where I'm not having sex after being married for years. I am trying to fix things with my wife and I have no desire to find another woman (as I discussed in another thread).

I also recently came to the realization that all sexual activity outside marriage (including masturbation) is wrong.

After all, priests go their whole lives without sex or masturbation, so it's not impossible to resist.

I don't watch porn, but that's only because I used to watch porn when I was in my teens and I became desensitized to it so it doesn't do anything for me anymore.

As far as the other thing, I can go about 3 or 4 days at a time without doing it. After 3 or 4 days, I get to the point where if I don't do it I can't sleep and I can't think about anything besides sex.

Does this eventually go away and become more tolerable? Is there anything that helps with this (maybe meditation, exercise, working or studying long hours, etc.)?

This is a difficult scenario and all too often a sexless marriage is trivialized especially from a male point of view. I would suggest, since you replied to another that you always feel badly afterwards, that you remember the negative feeling associated with indulging. You will never regret abstaining.

I think that the next time you really feel the desire, just do 15-20 minutes of some other activity and maybe the urge will pass. One day at a time. You will never regret abstaining.
02-04-2020 12:25 PM
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Ruslan Offline
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Post: #4646
RE: NoPorn / NoFap Google Group - For Those Who're Serious
(01-24-2020 10:45 AM)Teedub Wrote:  Since I stopped drinking, I've had no desire to masturbate. I don't know if there's any correlation, as Muslims don't drink but do the latter, perhaps it's some kind of subconscious spiritual cleanse. Who knows.


I think there is a strong spiritual aspect of getting drunk. Hence liquors are called spirits.

My thoughts are my deeds, my deeds are my words, my words are my habits.
02-06-2020 09:35 AM
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Nolimitz Offline
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Post: #4647
RE: NoPorn / NoFap Google Group - For Those Who're Serious
@Redbeard That's awesome. Truly an inspiration.

Couple nights ago I almost relapsed and looked at porn.

Triggers were activated: Alone in room, tired, and slightly sad

In that moment of weakness I prayed to God "please protect me from this addiction."

And I closed the tab and took a shower instead.

Have to fight this battle daily.

The moment before relapse is the moment where true transformation happens.
02-14-2020 05:45 PM
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Lenny Marmor Offline
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Post: #4648
RE: NoPorn / NoFap Google Group - For Those Who're Serious
NoFap is a psy op and is very unhealthy. The male body was designed with a biological need to ejaculate. I recently did 17 days of NoFap and developed huge dark circles under my eyes. They were my body's way of telling me that this isn't healthy. Why are you doing this? Why do you think it is good for you? At best you are getting a placebo effect, which isn't to say that isn't working. Sugar pills produce real results in controlled studies. You really think the male human body was designed to benefit from not having sex/ejaculating? I'm sure i'll be banned for red pilling you on NoFap
02-14-2020 09:00 PM
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Mikeyd03 Offline
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Post: #4649
RE: NoPorn / NoFap Google Group - For Those Who're Serious
Lenny,

Perhaps nofap is a placebo. But one can not argue against the negative effect of porn on a man’s well being.

It’s very simple to see.

The dopamine in your brain is what gives you drive in life. Porn exhaust your dopamine receptors.

Not a placebo, but a fact. These nofap “superpowers” are likely the result of the dopamine in a man’s brain returning to its base level.

Don’t forget video games, smart phones, online dating...these are all dopamine suckers.

And likely why so many are miserable. Defeating porn is a rite of passage.
02-14-2020 09:58 PM
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Lenny Marmor Offline
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Post: #4650
RE: NoPorn / NoFap Google Group - For Those Who're Serious
(02-14-2020 09:58 PM)Mikeyd03 Wrote:  Lenny,

Perhaps nofap is a placebo. But one can not argue against the negative effect of porn on a man’s well being.

It’s very simple to see.

The dopamine in your brain is what gives you drive in life. Porn exhaust your dopamine receptors.

Not a placebo, but a fact. These nofap “superpowers” are likely the result of the dopamine in a man’s brain returning to its base level.

Don’t forget video games, smart phones, online dating...these are all dopamine suckers.

And likely why so many are miserable. Defeating porn is a rite of passage.

Yes, porn is terrible. That we can all concur. My 2nd to last night of my recent 17 day NoFap I had trouble sleeping. I even said to myself "if I just rubbed one out I'd sleep like a baby" but I didn't want to have to start all over. Eventually I fell asleep, but the last night I couldn't sleep at all. The next day I realized that I had raccoon eyes because my body was telling me it is unhealthy to deprive it of ejaculation. So I busted one out, and got some sleep. I always sleep better after busting a nut, so I have decided that if i'm not getting laid, 1 fap per day right before bed is optimal. Sleep is so important, so if fapping at bed time helps you sleep then daily fapping is beneficial imo.
02-14-2020 11:14 PM
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