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How to use couchsurfing to hook up
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dontuan Offline
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How to use couchsurfing to hook up
Hey everyone, I'm new here but I have been using the forum as a resource for hooking up abroad. I bought Roosh's Bang Poland book and -- lo and behold -- I am now in Poland.

Couchsurfing is a great site to meet girls abroad. The response rate is usually pretty high and the girls are enthusiastic about meeting foreigners. But it's not a dating site, so how do you turn what's essentially a site for cultural exchange into a real sex pipeline?

The strategy I came up with is based on Roosh's method, with some tweaks here and there.

- I would do a search for locals and filter it by either "users who recently logged in" or "newest profiles." Those who were recently on the site tend to be active users and the newest users will be the most responsive.

- I only contact the girls with less than 200 profile views and the ones who don't have a lot of couchsurfing friends. My take is that the ones who are experienced users are also likely to be travel geeks who are into the site for what it is. The newer profiles are fresh to the whole thing so they haven't developed a firm mindset on what the site is for.

- I send them an innocent request asking if they know of any cool bars or places to check out, which Roosh suggests. And if they reply enthusiastically, like asking me curious questions or even inviting me to hang out, then I respond to those.

- I fire off a response suggesting a daytime coffee date, just to feel her out and not waste a whole night doing "cultural exchange" when I can be out at a bar gaming girls.

- Now here's the key, in the message I also ask something like "Btw, do you think it's ok with your boyfriend that we meet? I heard French guys are the jealous type and I don't want anyone to get mad." Of course, you can say that about any guy from any country. But the point is to screen her to ensure that you don't end up spending the afternoon with a girl who already has a boyfriend and near zero potential to hook up (weird, but it's happened to me). Sure, she might suspect something, but it's an innocent enough question that you won't look like you have some kind of agenda. Sometimes they tell me they have a boyfriend, but he's ok with it or other times she says something like "not all of them are jealous. Luckily I don't have oneSmile"

- The best place to meet up is a park maybe, and then a bar later on if you're feeling her. Find a bar in the daytime that feels intimate and cozy. Dimly lit, but not pitch dark. Trust me in every city there is a bar like this.

- If you are good at switching it from "cultural exchange" framework into a sexual framework of interaction and physically escalating, go for it. Sometimes it's tough to get on that wavelength so as a failsafe, I use a gimmick called the "secrets game"

Goes something like this: I tell her that in the US we sometimes play this game that helps people get to know each other better. It's basically truth or dare, without the dare. I start off with soft questions like "What's your favorite ice cream flavor." Then I eventually go no holds barred with something like "When's the last time you had sex?'

This helps to initiate not only a deeper connection but moves the interaction toward a sexual level pretty quickly. Anyway, I found this approach pretty effective for me. But if you guys have some ideas or your own methods, I'd love to hear them.
(This post was last modified: 07-03-2012 02:23 PM by dontuan.)
07-03-2012 02:10 PM
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Icarus Offline
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Post: #2
RE: How to use couchsurfing to hook up
(07-03-2012 02:10 PM)dontuan Wrote:  Couchsurfing is a great site to meet girls abroad. The response rate is usually pretty high and the girls are enthusiastic about meeting foreigners. But it's not a dating site, so how do you turn what's essentially a site for cultural exchange into a real sex pipeline?

Go to the meetings. In some cities there are regular BBQs and happy hours and so on. If there are no meetings in the city you're in (let's call it "City X"), then create an event, and post an announcement on the group corresponding to City X inviting people to show up. Lots of beta dudes will join, a lot of ugly chicks too, but sometimes one finds real gems, i.e., girls that have just moved to City X and do not know anyone and are trying to build a social circle. If you do things properly, hooking up is relatively easy.

The joke is that CS is not a dating site, but the dating site Banana

"The great secret of happiness in love is to be glad that the other fellow married her." – H.L. Mencken
(This post was last modified: 07-03-2012 03:20 PM by Icarus.)
07-03-2012 03:20 PM
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AlphaTravel Offline
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RE: How to use couchsurfing to hook up
Yeah it's an inside joke that CS is not for hooking up yet people hook up on it so often.
07-03-2012 03:27 PM
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Icarus Offline
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RE: How to use couchsurfing to hook up
(07-03-2012 03:27 PM)AlphaTravel Wrote:  Yeah it's an inside joke that CS is not for hooking up yet people hook up on it so often.

They do that to weed out the betas.

The women want to be hosted by betas, as the betas treat them like princesses, but they do not want the betas to make a move at them as that would make them go "ewwww, creepy!". But if the alphas make a move, then it's all good. The alpha / beta dichotomy applies also on CS: some men are good only as accommodation-providers, whereas a select few are also good for sport-fucking.

"The great secret of happiness in love is to be glad that the other fellow married her." – H.L. Mencken
07-03-2012 03:36 PM
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dontuan Offline
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RE: How to use couchsurfing to hook up
(07-03-2012 03:27 PM)AlphaTravel Wrote:  Yeah it's an inside joke that CS is not for hooking up yet people hook up on it so often.

You'll be surprised, but I have met up with some girls who use couchsurfing just to learn about other cultures and such. Some even have boyfriends. That's why I had to fine tune my methods to weed out girls who wouldn't be down.
07-03-2012 03:45 PM
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RE: How to use couchsurfing to hook up
(07-03-2012 03:45 PM)dontuan Wrote:  You'll be surprised, but I have met up with some girls who use couchsurfing just to learn about other cultures and such. Some even have boyfriends. That's why I had to fine tune my methods to weed out girls who wouldn't be down.

Have women ever been honest about their intentions? Do you expect them to tell you that they just want to fuck? Maybe they will do that while sober if you're super-alpha, but a mere mortal will have to be on the lookout for hints and signals, and then make a move.

"The great secret of happiness in love is to be glad that the other fellow married her." – H.L. Mencken
07-03-2012 03:48 PM
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dontuan Offline
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RE: How to use couchsurfing to hook up
(07-03-2012 03:48 PM)Icarus Wrote:  
(07-03-2012 03:45 PM)dontuan Wrote:  You'll be surprised, but I have met up with some girls who use couchsurfing just to learn about other cultures and such. Some even have boyfriends. That's why I had to fine tune my methods to weed out girls who wouldn't be down.

Have women ever been honest about their intentions? Do you expect them to tell you that they just want to fuck? Maybe they will do that while sober if you're super-alpha, but a mere mortal will have to be on the lookout for hints and signals, and then make a move.

well, thats exactly my point. i dont want to waste my time corresponding or even hanging out with a girl just to figure out her intentions. i get a lot of responses on the site so i have to be judicious with who i pick to go out with. And for the most part, the method i outlined is quite effective.
07-03-2012 04:02 PM
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RE: How to use couchsurfing to hook up
(07-03-2012 04:02 PM)dontuan Wrote:  
(07-03-2012 03:48 PM)Icarus Wrote:  
(07-03-2012 03:45 PM)dontuan Wrote:  You'll be surprised, but I have met up with some girls who use couchsurfing just to learn about other cultures and such. Some even have boyfriends. That's why I had to fine tune my methods to weed out girls who wouldn't be down.

Have women ever been honest about their intentions? Do you expect them to tell you that they just want to fuck? Maybe they will do that while sober if you're super-alpha, but a mere mortal will have to be on the lookout for hints and signals, and then make a move.

well, thats exactly my point. i dont want to waste my time corresponding or even hanging out with a girl just to figure out her intentions. i get a lot of responses on the site so i have to be judicious with who i pick to go out with. And for the most part, the method i outlined is quite effective.

Dontuan, how old are you by the way? I'm in my mid 30's and as I get older, couchsurfing seems to be a less effective internet tool for hooking up. The only girls of value in CS are obviously around 18-25. Though i get a good amount of responses back, it is not as much as 5 or 6 years ago. Maybe I need to lie about my age a bit more in CSIdea.
Dating pay sights (i.e. Filipino cupid, Colombian cupid, etc), Badoo, local sites, etc tend to pay off way more for me and are a lot more straight forward. You know what they want and they know what you want.
07-03-2012 08:45 PM
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AlphaTravel Offline
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RE: How to use couchsurfing to hook up
Quote:You'll be surprised, but I have met up with some girls who use couchsurfing just to learn about other cultures and such. Some even have boyfriends. That's why I had to fine tune my methods to weed out girls who wouldn't be down.

Yeah so do some guys and I imagine the majority of people on the site probably are on it primarily for the cultural exchange and the chance to stay locals but there's still plenty of fucking to be done. I've smashed a few chicks that I've met from the site.

Quote:Dating pay sights (i.e. Filipino cupid, Colombian cupid, etc), Badoo, local sites, etc tend to pay off way more for me and are a lot more straight forward. You know what they want and they know what you want.

A few years back I wouldn't have even thought to use dating sites when going abroad and if someone suggested it would probably think it was a bit sad but I happily used CS to meet women on the off chance it would go somewhere. Now I rarely use CS and go straight on the dating sites as it's straight forward, there's no working out what each others intentions are and you know what you're in for.
07-03-2012 08:54 PM
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dontuan Offline
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RE: How to use couchsurfing to hook up
(07-03-2012 08:45 PM)chochemonger1 Wrote:  
(07-03-2012 04:02 PM)dontuan Wrote:  
(07-03-2012 03:48 PM)Icarus Wrote:  
(07-03-2012 03:45 PM)dontuan Wrote:  You'll be surprised, but I have met up with some girls who use couchsurfing just to learn about other cultures and such. Some even have boyfriends. That's why I had to fine tune my methods to weed out girls who wouldn't be down.

Have women ever been honest about their intentions? Do you expect them to tell you that they just want to fuck? Maybe they will do that while sober if you're super-alpha, but a mere mortal will have to be on the lookout for hints and signals, and then make a move.

well, thats exactly my point. i dont want to waste my time corresponding or even hanging out with a girl just to figure out her intentions. i get a lot of responses on the site so i have to be judicious with who i pick to go out with. And for the most part, the method i outlined is quite effective.

Dontuan, how old are you by the way? I'm in my mid 30's and as I get older, couchsurfing seems to be a less effective internet tool for hooking up. The only girls of value in CS are obviously around 18-25. Though i get a good amount of responses back, it is not as much as 5 or 6 years ago. Maybe I need to lie about my age a bit more in CSIdea.
Dating pay sights (i.e. Filipino cupid, Colombian cupid, etc), Badoo, local sites, etc tend to pay off way more for me and are a lot more straight forward. You know what they want and they know what you want.

I'm 35 years old, but look 25. The thing with CS is that the response rate is pretty high compared to dating sites. Girls aren't constantly bombarded with emails from horny guys. I'm trying a local dating site here called Sympatia and the response rate is definitely lower. And the ones who responded tend to be a bit flakey and cautious even, making me write them back and forth for days. I think if you can finagle it so that you're on a sexual wavelength with them, CS can be a gold mine. It's already working well for me.
07-04-2012 08:08 AM
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chochemonger1 Offline
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RE: How to use couchsurfing to hook up
(07-04-2012 08:08 AM)dontuan Wrote:  
(07-03-2012 08:45 PM)chochemonger1 Wrote:  
(07-03-2012 04:02 PM)dontuan Wrote:  
(07-03-2012 03:48 PM)Icarus Wrote:  
(07-03-2012 03:45 PM)dontuan Wrote:  You'll be surprised, but I have met up with some girls who use couchsurfing just to learn about other cultures and such. Some even have boyfriends. That's why I had to fine tune my methods to weed out girls who wouldn't be down.

Have women ever been honest about their intentions? Do you expect them to tell you that they just want to fuck? Maybe they will do that while sober if you're super-alpha, but a mere mortal will have to be on the lookout for hints and signals, and then make a move.

well, thats exactly my point. i dont want to waste my time corresponding or even hanging out with a girl just to figure out her intentions. i get a lot of responses on the site so i have to be judicious with who i pick to go out with. And for the most part, the method i outlined is quite effective.

Dontuan, how old are you by the way? I'm in my mid 30's and as I get older, couchsurfing seems to be a less effective internet tool for hooking up. The only girls of value in CS are obviously around 18-25. Though i get a good amount of responses back, it is not as much as 5 or 6 years ago. Maybe I need to lie about my age a bit more in CSIdea.
Dating pay sights (i.e. Filipino cupid, Colombian cupid, etc), Badoo, local sites, etc tend to pay off way more for me and are a lot more straight forward. You know what they want and they know what you want.

I'm 35 years old, but look 25. The thing with CS is that the response rate is pretty high compared to dating sites. Girls aren't constantly bombarded with emails from horny guys. I'm trying a local dating site here called Sympatia and the response rate is definitely lower. And the ones who responded tend to be a bit flakey and cautious even, making me write them back and forth for days. I think if you can finagle it so that you're on a sexual wavelength with them, CS can be a gold mine. It's already working well for me.

So did you put on your profile that you are 25? Most CS girls
I've met who are natives, of a 3rd world or 2nd world country for example, are relatively more westernized than the average girl. So these CS chicks tend to want men a bit older but not by much, while the majority of the girls in their country don't have a problem with bigger age discrepancies.
07-04-2012 12:13 PM
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dontuan Offline
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RE: How to use couchsurfing to hook up
(07-04-2012 12:13 PM)chochemonger1 Wrote:  
(07-04-2012 08:08 AM)dontuan Wrote:  
(07-03-2012 08:45 PM)chochemonger1 Wrote:  
(07-03-2012 04:02 PM)dontuan Wrote:  
(07-03-2012 03:48 PM)Icarus Wrote:  Have women ever been honest about their intentions? Do you expect them to tell you that they just want to fuck? Maybe they will do that while sober if you're super-alpha, but a mere mortal will have to be on the lookout for hints and signals, and then make a move.

well, thats exactly my point. i dont want to waste my time corresponding or even hanging out with a girl just to figure out her intentions. i get a lot of responses on the site so i have to be judicious with who i pick to go out with. And for the most part, the method i outlined is quite effective.

Dontuan, how old are you by the way? I'm in my mid 30's and as I get older, couchsurfing seems to be a less effective internet tool for hooking up. The only girls of value in CS are obviously around 18-25. Though i get a good amount of responses back, it is not as much as 5 or 6 years ago. Maybe I need to lie about my age a bit more in CSIdea.
Dating pay sights (i.e. Filipino cupid, Colombian cupid, etc), Badoo, local sites, etc tend to pay off way more for me and are a lot more straight forward. You know what they want and they know what you want.

I'm 35 years old, but look 25. The thing with CS is that the response rate is pretty high compared to dating sites. Girls aren't constantly bombarded with emails from horny guys. I'm trying a local dating site here called Sympatia and the response rate is definitely lower. And the ones who responded tend to be a bit flakey and cautious even, making me write them back and forth for days. I think if you can finagle it so that you're on a sexual wavelength with them, CS can be a gold mine. It's already working well for me.

So did you put on your profile that you are 25? Most CS girls
I've met who are natives, of a 3rd world or 2nd world country for example, are relatively more westernized than the average girl. So these CS chicks tend to want men a bit older but not by much, while the majority of the girls in their country don't have a problem with bigger age discrepancies.

I took my listed age down a notch, to be a bit under 30. I don't think it matters as much as long as you look fine.
07-04-2012 12:44 PM
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speakeasy Offline
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Post: #13
RE: How to use couchsurfing to hook up
Anyone ever use it to just hit up local girls for dates? Do you have a strategy for that?

I once hit up a local girl on there who was foreign born. I asked her something about her country. She was surprisingly compliant in our online communcation, by that I mean she was asking me follow up questions as well. I told her we should meet sometime soon and I took her number and we did meet up.

I've tried that maybe a couple other times and the girl answered my email but didn't seem interested enough to carry on a conversation. I figure you have to be very innocuous and indirect when you message them or else you'll trigger that "CS is not a dating site" thing they are so adamant about.

There are a number of cute local girls who have profiles on there but aren't a active in the group meetups. It's usually just the same 30 or so people.

If you do find a cute girl on there, they are likely to be more open-minded, active, cosmopolitan, less cliquey and generally nicer than your average chic.
07-04-2012 07:56 PM
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Roosh Offline
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RE: How to use couchsurfing to hook up
Quote:Now here's the key, in the message I also ask something like "Btw, do you think it's ok with your boyfriend that we meet? I heard French guys are the jealous type and I don't want anyone to get mad." Of course, you can say that about any guy from any country. But the point is to screen her to ensure that you don't end up spending the afternoon with a girl who already has a boyfriend and near zero potential to hook up

When I first read that I thought, "Hmm that's a bit beta" but then I thought of my CS experiences and it would have saved me many hours I wasted to find out about a BF down the line. I will try this "Strategic Beta" move.

If a girl says she has a BF, do you just cancel?

By the way just a friendly reminder to everyone: don't publicly post your CS profile on here ever. CS white knights are lurking.

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07-04-2012 08:17 PM
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dontuan Offline
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RE: How to use couchsurfing to hook up
(07-04-2012 08:17 PM)Roosh Wrote:  
Quote:Now here's the key, in the message I also ask something like "Btw, do you think it's ok with your boyfriend that we meet? I heard French guys are the jealous type and I don't want anyone to get mad." Of course, you can say that about any guy from any country. But the point is to screen her to ensure that you don't end up spending the afternoon with a girl who already has a boyfriend and near zero potential to hook up

When I first read that I thought, "Hmm that's a bit beta" but then I thought of my CS experiences and it would have saved me many hours I wasted to find out about a BF down the line. I will try this "Strategic Beta" move.

If a girl says she has a BF, do you just cancel?

By the way just a friendly reminder to everyone: don't publicly post your CS profile on here ever. CS white knights are lurking.

If you really want to be Alpha, you can ask directly if she has a boyfriend. but I feel that can be a bit much. I just figured this was a more subtle way of screening for my purposes without coming off like I just want to hook up, which can put some girls off.

It's funny. A lot of girls on the site are DTF but for some reason they feel weird about being so explicit. I don't know any other way to get around the ambiguity.

If the girl says she has a bf, I pretty much say I prefer to hang out with single girls and it saves a lot of time.
07-05-2012 11:15 AM
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RE: How to use couchsurfing to hook up
(07-04-2012 08:17 PM)Roosh Wrote:  
Quote:Now here's the key, in the message I also ask something like "Btw, do you think it's ok with your boyfriend that we meet? I heard French guys are the jealous type and I don't want anyone to get mad." Of course, you can say that about any guy from any country. But the point is to screen her to ensure that you don't end up spending the afternoon with a girl who already has a boyfriend and near zero potential to hook up

When I first read that I thought, "Hmm that's a bit beta" but then I thought of my CS experiences and it would have saved me many hours I wasted to find out about a BF down the line. I will try this "Strategic Beta" move.

If a girl says she has a BF, do you just cancel?

By the way just a friendly reminder to everyone: don't publicly post your CS profile on here ever. CS white knights are lurking.

Say instead "Alot of boyfriends tend to be threatened by me and so i prefer to meet with single girls." That appears stronger than what you said.
07-08-2012 02:18 PM
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dontuan Offline
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RE: How to use couchsurfing to hook up
(07-08-2012 02:18 PM)RaulValdez739 Wrote:  
(07-04-2012 08:17 PM)Roosh Wrote:  
Quote:Now here's the key, in the message I also ask something like "Btw, do you think it's ok with your boyfriend that we meet? I heard French guys are the jealous type and I don't want anyone to get mad." Of course, you can say that about any guy from any country. But the point is to screen her to ensure that you don't end up spending the afternoon with a girl who already has a boyfriend and near zero potential to hook up

When I first read that I thought, "Hmm that's a bit beta" but then I thought of my CS experiences and it would have saved me many hours I wasted to find out about a BF down the line. I will try this "Strategic Beta" move.

If a girl says she has a BF, do you just cancel?

By the way just a friendly reminder to everyone: don't publicly post your CS profile on here ever. CS white knights are lurking.

Say instead "Alot of boyfriends tend to be threatened by me and so i prefer to meet with single girls." That appears stronger than what you said.

Hey, so I just took your advice and replied to a girl with that "boyfriends threatened by me" line. This is how she replied:

"I will be honest with you, I'm very surprised by your message. If you’re looking for single women, in my opinion, you should consider changing the portal. CS is the place, where you can find people with the same passion which is world, travelling or cultural differences, not looking for single women and dating opportunities. When you understand this philosophy, you will also understand that it shouldn’t be important to you if I have a boyfriend or not... or will he be threatened by you or not...
By the way, you must be very presumptuous to write things like that."

Ouch! won't be using that one anymore.
07-11-2012 08:29 AM
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Handsome Creepy Eel Offline
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RE: How to use couchsurfing to hook up
Oooh yeah, you "need to understand the philosophy". LMAO.

I think it's best not to explain why, but if you need to, rather than saying "threatened", say that you once had a scene where the girl's boyfriend was convinced that you were doing something with her and went crazy, so you prefer single people.

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07-11-2012 08:45 AM
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dontuan Offline
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RE: How to use couchsurfing to hook up
(07-11-2012 08:45 AM)Handsome Creepy Eel Wrote:  Oooh yeah, you "need to understand the philosophy". LMAO.

I think it's best not to explain why, but if you need to, rather than saying "threatened", say that you once had a scene where the girl's boyfriend was convinced that you were doing something with her and went crazy, so you prefer single people.

I guess this just drives home the point that a lot of girls buy into the philosophy that CS is for "cultural exchange" rather than hooking up. Blame the beta guys on the site for reinforcing that vibe. Still, I have had success with it as a thinly veiled disguise for dating.

Of course you don't want to creep the girl out by making a sudden move and getting a negative testimonial, so plant the seeds in a subtle way. The key is to imply as much as you can what the terms of engagement are. Use a lot of Wink instead of Smile Use my tactics and when you're out with her, talk about dating, sex, attraction etc. Frame it as sexual as possible and see if she goes along with it.
(This post was last modified: 07-11-2012 09:19 AM by dontuan.)
07-11-2012 09:18 AM
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RE: How to use couchsurfing to hook up
(07-11-2012 08:29 AM)dontuan Wrote:  Hey, so I just took your advice and replied to a girl with that "boyfriends threatened by me" line. This is how she replied:

"I will be honest with you, I'm very surprised by your message. If you’re looking for single women, in my opinion, you should consider changing the portal. CS is the place, where you can find people with the same passion which is world, travelling or cultural differences, not looking for single women and dating opportunities. When you understand this philosophy, you will also understand that it shouldn’t be important to you if I have a boyfriend or not... or will he be threatened by you or not...
By the way, you must be very presumptuous to write things like that."

Ouch! won't be using that one anymore.

She has a point. You violated the cardinal rule: you openly used CS as a dating site. You cannot do it! People hook up on CS all the time, but they like to think that it "just happened" and that it was "spontaneous". In other words, fucking is a happy by-product, not the goal. Being too direct too early will make those hippy sluts think you're "creepy". You can be direct after you have built attraction, i.e., after you have met them face-to-face.

That is why I think that organizing CS meetings is the way to go. First of all, you're the one in charge. You chose the date and the location. You tell people what to bring. You're in a position of power. So, you organize a BBQ at the beach and some 20 chicks show up. Most of them will be fugly, but if you're lucky there will be some talent. You can now try to build attraction. You also have to use the right words, such as "open-minded" and "non-judgemental", to prove that you and them belong to the same "tribe". From then on, use standard Game 101.

"The great secret of happiness in love is to be glad that the other fellow married her." – H.L. Mencken
(This post was last modified: 07-11-2012 09:25 AM by Icarus.)
07-11-2012 09:21 AM
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Travel85 Offline
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Post: #21
RE: How to use couchsurfing to hook up
Dontuan,

That's what you get for un-reflectively listening to keyboard jockeys like Raul. From the first time I read his suggestion, I knew it was nonsense. And now we have empirical proof that it is crap.

I really like your CS approach. It seems, however, you don't really understand why it works, for if you did, you definitely would not try Raul's misguided advice. Your whole approach hinges on the fact that you do not alert the critical factor of the girls you are trying to fuck. So you come across as a guy who merely wants to know about the city the girl is in, and that you don't want to get her boyfriend upset if she has one, while you are positioning yourself as a harmless beta in her eyes. Thus she get her guards down, which makes it immensely easier for you to later seduce her. (I know, I know, you won't present yourself as a harmless beta once you meet her, but for the initial interactions online, your strategy is golden).

The other approach, suggested by our resident KJ, clearly alerts the girl to your intentions. And I agree with Roosh here, direct game, without building attraction first, is way less effective than indirect game. Moreover, as the girl you wrote rightly points out in her reply, it is very presumptuous to assume that a girl's BF, if she has any, would feel threatened by you. For all we know, if she has a BF, he could be of much higher value than you, i.e., in looks, status, success, etc. By using the asinine suggestion by Raul, unless a girl is very dunce, she would see clearly that your goal on CS is to use it to fuck as many girls as possible, which does not bode well for your prospects of doing just that. Yeah, I know many girls use CS for fucking too, but , given the ASD nature of women, you often have to use under the radar strategy to get into their pants. (For instance, telling a girl to come back to your place to "watch a movie", "to have one more drink", etc., are just such strategies.)

So the lessons here are 1) If you have empirical evidence that something works, be wary of changing it. 2) Yes, it's good to try new things to see if they are better or more efficient than what you may be already trying. However before you do, you should reason a priori to see if it makes sense within the system you are already operating. In other words, given the whole premise of your CS approach is to come under the radar, you should have seen that employing the KJ suggestion above would directly undermine and contradict what you are trying to accomplish with your CS approach.

Thus, despite the fact that many uses CS for fucking, going direct on CS is definitely the wrong strategy. And listening to the kj suggestion above is tantamount to going direct.
(This post was last modified: 07-11-2012 09:59 AM by Travel85.)
07-11-2012 09:52 AM
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Post: #22
RE: How to use couchsurfing to hook up
(07-11-2012 09:21 AM)Icarus Wrote:  
(07-11-2012 08:29 AM)dontuan Wrote:  Hey, so I just took your advice and replied to a girl with that "boyfriends threatened by me" line. This is how she replied:

"I will be honest with you, I'm very surprised by your message. If you’re looking for single women, in my opinion, you should consider changing the portal. CS is the place, where you can find people with the same passion which is world, travelling or cultural differences, not looking for single women and dating opportunities. When you understand this philosophy, you will also understand that it shouldn’t be important to you if I have a boyfriend or not... or will he be threatened by you or not...
By the way, you must be very presumptuous to write things like that."

Ouch! won't be using that one anymore.

She has a point. You violated the cardinal rule: you openly used CS as a dating site. You cannot do it! People hook up on CS all the time, but they like to think that it "just happened" and that it was "spontaneous". In other words, fucking is a happy by-product, not the goal. Being too direct too early will make those hippy sluts think you're "creepy". You can be direct after you have built attraction, i.e., after you have met them face-to-face.

That is why I think that organizing CS meetings is the way to go. First of all, you're the one in charge. You chose the date and the location. You tell people what to bring. You're in a position of power. So, you organize a BBQ at the beach and some 20 chicks show up. Most of them will be fugly, but if you're lucky there will be some talent. You can now try to build attraction. You also have to use the right words, such as "open-minded" and "non-judgemental", to prove that you and them belong to the same "tribe". From then on, use standard Game 101.

Ha, Icarus beat me to the punch. Same idea as him.
07-11-2012 09:55 AM
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dontuan Offline
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Post: #23
RE: How to use couchsurfing to hook up
(07-11-2012 09:21 AM)Icarus Wrote:  
(07-11-2012 08:29 AM)dontuan Wrote:  Hey, so I just took your advice and replied to a girl with that "boyfriends threatened by me" line. This is how she replied:

"I will be honest with you, I'm very surprised by your message. If you’re looking for single women, in my opinion, you should consider changing the portal. CS is the place, where you can find people with the same passion which is world, travelling or cultural differences, not looking for single women and dating opportunities. When you understand this philosophy, you will also understand that it shouldn’t be important to you if I have a boyfriend or not... or will he be threatened by you or not...
By the way, you must be very presumptuous to write things like that."

Ouch! won't be using that one anymore.

She has a point. You violated the cardinal rule: you openly used CS as a dating site. You cannot do it! People hook up on CS all the time, but they like to think that it "just happened" and that it was "spontaneous". In other words, fucking is a happy by-product, not the goal. Being too direct too early will make those hippy sluts think you're "creepy". You can be direct after you have built attraction, i.e., after you have met them face-to-face.

That is why I think that organizing CS meetings is the way to go. First of all, you're the one in charge. You chose the date and the location. You tell people what to bring. You're in a position of power. So, you organize a BBQ at the beach and some 20 chicks show up. Most of them will be fugly, but if you're lucky there will be some talent. You can now try to build attraction. You also have to use the right words, such as "open-minded" and "non-judgemental", to prove that you and them belong to the same "tribe". From then on, use standard Game 101.

Wait. So what? Am I supposed to waste hours hanging out with girls who may have a boyfriend all along or only intended to share pleasant stories about culture and travel?

I only used RaulValdez739's suggestion to test their reaction. When I used the toned down "You think it would be OK with your boyfriend?" response the girls didn't get weirded out. And I was able to screen them. That's way more efficient in my book.
07-11-2012 10:04 AM
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IpsaScientiaPotestasEst Offline
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Post: #24
RE: How to use couchsurfing to hook up
Tons of creepers on CS, you pretty much HAVE to make sure that you are running anti-creeper game. The girls aren't stupid and know shit happens or is highly likely to happen if you're hanging out/enjoying each others time (and if you're good). I highly recommend the creating meetups advice as well, which I've been meaning to do in my area but just haven't been able to yet.
07-11-2012 10:18 AM
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Post: #25
RE: How to use couchsurfing to hook up
(07-11-2012 10:18 AM)IpsaScientiaPotestasEst Wrote:  Tons of creepers on CS, you pretty much HAVE to make sure that you are running anti-creeper game. The girls aren't stupid and know shit happens or is highly likely to happen if you're hanging out/enjoying each others time (and if you're good). I highly recommend the creating meetups advice as well, which I've been meaning to do in my area but just haven't been able to yet.

Listen, the times I went out with a single girl on CS, it worked out fine, often ended up making out. But I have also wasted nights out with girls who were taken and thought it was just going to be innocent fun.

I am not in the business of showing non-single girls a good time. Yes, it may end up being only innocuous fun with no sexual undertones, I'm fine with that. But I have to get a sense beforehand that there's a possibility for more and not run into the "I have a boyfriend" dead end.

I've seen too many chodes at the club dancing with girls, thinking they're about the get lucky when all along she's already taken. Girls with boyfriends are often the most flirtatious cause they think its harmless. She gets off on the attention since she's been with the same guy for so long. I prefer not to be be tooled.
(This post was last modified: 07-11-2012 10:39 AM by dontuan.)
07-11-2012 10:37 AM
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