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The Approach Thread
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ksbms Offline
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Post: #3076
RE: The Approach Thread
(01-12-2017 07:04 AM)JWLZG Wrote:  About an hour ago, I was walking down my platform at a station in the city, passing by a chick with her back to my side. A few metres down from her, I stopped and turned to look her way. I almost gave up on approaching as I thought she wouldn't be my type. Fuck it.

The train arrived, and we boarded the same door. It was fairly empty and I stood by the door, making to take a book from my backpack. She had taken a seat opposite me, and I sat directly opposite her after a few minutes. She had given me the briefest glance, after playing with her phone. She seemed rather preoccupied in expression; it sort of put me off saying anything.

I want to apply the 3-second rule a bit more as I've had the impression from previous approaches that waiting much longer seriously puts the girl off, given that she'll have enough time to have seen your approach coming. Dammit. There was a lady sitting next to me, and I felt self-conscious opening my quarry while someone else was so close. Whip

3rd lady got off. 1st girl still had a slightly distracted look. She looked to be early twenties (I later found out — 21), was tall, brunette, had blue eyes, rosy skin, a cute face, with lipstick, and an unusual amount of rose gold jewellery. She's got a particular look to her that made me wonder if she was part Greek or Italian. All in all, an 8.

I opened her soon after it was just the both of us.

"All dressed up to go out?" I asked, indicating her jewellery, fixing her gaze.

"I just got back from work," she replied with a slight frown, although there was something in her tone that implied she wanted to continue.

"All those pretty rings and necklaces?" was my rejoinder. She had two of those, among others.

"I work at a jewellery store," she fingered her bracelet.

"Yeah, part of your uniform?"

"Haha yeah, showcasing them," she started to soften a bit.

"Visual merchandising, that's what it's all about eh?"

"Exactly, blah blah." (I forgot what she said exactly)

"Which jewellers' do you work at? Swarovski, Georg Jensen?" I think I said that as a test.

"I work at Lovisa. You know that one?"

"Yeah, I used to work at Swarovski," I lied. (I said that on impulse, I probably shouldn't have.)

"Reeeally? What did you do there?" She seemed a tad incredulous.

"Retail," I kept lying. "What's wrong?"

"I've never heard of a working in jewellery," she admitted.

"That's a really gender-discriminating to think," I said in a rather chiding tone. (I could've teased her about her lack of understanding of the industry.)

"Yeah it suppose it is, but not unless it's like mens' jewellery," she returned in a playfully-defensive tone.

"I know a guy who works at Georg Jensen," I protested. "And that's like saying that Tag Heuer should be employing just guys."

I dunno if I should have played to her logical side like that.

"What's that?" She drew a blank.

"You know, Tag Heuer, the watch brand," I said almost patronisingly, holding up my wrist. I do have a Tag Heuer watch, just not the one that I was wearing. "Haven't you been to Collins St.?"

"No, I don't know the city that well," she said haplessly.

"It's like, the one smack in the middle."

"Yeah, I'm not too familiar with the streets yet....blah blah I'm not from here," she admitted.

"Blah blah where are you from?" I asked. She didn't have much of an accent.

"I'm from Adelaide."

A bit of banter about Adelaide being just an oversized country town ensued. I compared it to Hobart, she said she'd never been.

"How about yourself? Are you from Melbourne?" She turned the conversation to me.

"Yeeeah," I replied, rather matter-of-factly.

"Were you born here?" She pressed.

"Nah, I wasn't."

"Where were you born?" She asked.

"Singapore," I replied without much hesitation.

"Oh I know people from Singapore," she said perkily.

"What; your customers?" I teased.

"Haha not really...I mean yeah some of them," she smiled. "But I know other people from there. Why did "

"Blah blah," (I don't recall what I said.)

"Singapore's really clean, I like it," she went on. "Don't you get fined for chewing gum there?"

"Hah, yeah, like $5000," I said.

"Ouch, that's harsh," she said. "That'd never happen here. No-one would stand for it."

"Yeah they'd just stick them everywhere."

"Haha right, in policemens' face and stuff."

"It's what I'd do, that's why they didn't want me there anymore," I said with mock seriousness.

She laughed, then her attention diverted to the stop that our train was heading past.

"Have we gone past this stop already?" she asked.

"What'd you mean?" I frowned.

"This stop," she explained. "Will the train pass by it later?"

"Errr yeah, in like an hour or so, when it's coming back to the city," I told her almost patronisingly. "Why not?"

"Ooohh I must've been thinking of trams, right," she said with a bit of embarrassment.

"Trains, trams, big difference eh," I said sarcastically. "Don't you have trains back in Adelaide?"

"Yeah we do! It's just one line, and it heads to the main nightlife area."

"Oh yeah I remember that about Adelaide," I said. "You've only that one strip, that's where all the bars and clubs are concentrated."

"Yeah Keppel St (sp?)," she said. "Blah blah."

There was yet more ramble about how everyone was stuck there one nights out in her city.

"Yeah, like your mum," I teased.

"Haha not that!" she laughed. "I miss my mum. I meant more like people you went to high school with."

Still more ramble, which I've forgotten.

"You know what it's like meeting people from high school," she continued.

"Oh yeah right, that awkward 5 minutes of conversation and shit," I dismissed. "I sort of got that hell away from that part where I grew up from."

"Oh was that like, the west?" she ventured.

"C'mon, do I really look like a Westie?" I feigned mock hurt. The western suburbs are a lesser-circumstanced part of the city, and I hardly looked the part.

"I'm new remember, what's someone from the west side supposed to look like?"

"Oh, just hoodies and trackie dacks (Australian slang for tracksuit trousers) and dropping out of school at 15 and punching out 5 kids . . . " I responded graphically.

"I'd better not head there then," she said.

". . . and those 2 kick arse kebab shops," I finished.

"Wow, maybe I should pay it a visit," she changed her mind.

"Oh there's a fair few of them here," I waved my hand about nonchalantly.

"In Brunswick? (I perked up, she mentioned my suburb) I'm starting to get hungry, I haven't eaten yet," she confessed.

"Is that the plan?" I teased. "Like a dinner adventure you're getting from me?"

"No that's not it," she protested. "Blah blah."

"Yeah there's heaps of them here," I went on. "I used to live down the road from one."

"What do you mean, 'used to live'? Do you mean you're homeless?" she asked.

"Maybe I could be," I played along. "Maybe I just live on a boat out on the bay."

"Blah blah," she said. "What sort of boat is it? Like a yacht?"

"Nah, a Zodiac, one of those rubber ones."

She laughed, "I'm getting off here."

"So am I."

"Are you really?"

"Fakely," I said (I should've noticed the station first). "I don't actually live on a boat."

Some more banter in which she questioned whether this was indeed my stop, as we got off the train and walked towards the exit. I prodded her upper arm as I said, no wonder you got away from Adelaide, this is why your friends couldn't stand you.

"But yeah, mine's that way," I indicated my left as I turned away from her. The footpath from the station split into two here; she was about to head down the other one. So we were about other? She faced me.

"Do you want to add me on Facebook?" she asked.

"What if I deleted it yesterday?" I parried.

"Ha, very convenient," she retorted. She headed towards me. "Did you really?"

"Let's say I did. We'll have to do this the old school way," No way José. We were facing each other, her back to the railing around the nature strip. "Give me your number instead."

"Uh-uh," she refused, pulling out her mobile. "I add people on Facebook first first, then get the number....I have my policies."

"Very well played," I mused. "So I've got it, huh?"

"I don't feel right giving my number after too many creepy guys on Tinder," she said defensively.

"Gee, well I'm sorry for left-swiping you last month," I retorted. (I was at a loss at how to respond to that.)

"You do have Facebook after all!" she exclaimed.

"I surrender," I said. "I'm a bad liar."

"Shocking!" she agreed. "That's what everyone says."

I may have teased her about that remark. There's a bit of fumbling as my phone screen has a crack through it. I got her to look me up on her phone.

I have a really common name on FB, and she selects a dweeby-looking namesake. I pretend to hit her and we laughed.

"I like your display pic," she said when we got to my profile. "It's a bit usual. Your expression is like a mix of confused and focussed and intense and lost."

(I don't recall what adjectives she used, mostly complimentary.)

I also forgot the exact dialogue between us. She asked what happened in that pic and I bullshitted something about watching some sheep tat I was about to hunt, butcher and slaughter, and eat.

"That would be worrying because I've recently turned vegetarian," she said.

"I'm so sorry that you'd have to witness my sheep-hunting endeavours," I dissed. I made to head off.

"Haha ouch," she said. "We'll talk on Facebook."

This was probably my most profitable daygame experience in a while.
I was glad that I made it an emotional juggle, rather than the comfort-comfort-comfort of most daygame approaches.

I've never had a daygame-sourced bang yet, but I should have no reason to suppose anything should come out of it, given that I've had pretty positive DG approaches that came to nothing in the past.

I wonder if I should've turned it into an insta-date though. Maybe even a SDL/SNL, as it was close to 21:00, and she evidently had nothing on that night. I think I left the end of interaction vague to throw in a bit more tension. Logistics are dope too, we obviously live nearby, and my place was literally under 500 metes away.

From our interaction, she was clearly somewhat interested, and knew what was up (the Tinder/phone/FB topic gave that away). I'm not too sure where to take it from here, either a ZDB or a 1st date bang — we have heaps of bars around here.

I've had instadates from DG, so it's not beyond me. On the other hand, it's a Thursday night and I want to go out, sharpen my night game muscle.

Checked on FB and she's 21 and goes to my university (down the road) (we're on summer break).

What would you have done?

Idate or SDL weren't on the cards at all. Why? Because she declined to jump through a very minor hoop to start with - giving you her number.

I see no attraction, comfort, seduction woven through your interaction with her at all. You started very blandly, making a commuter's conversation of a nice guy, instead of giving a clear statement of intent, such as "I could not help but notice you've got some style going on for you", then expand on it and do some cold reading, and limit asking questions. It's crucial to find out what her logistics were. You could've shown confidence and increase attraction with her by, e.g., pointing at her bracelet, asking "what's that", and simultaneously grasping her wrist with your hand for a good few seconds and looking deep into her eyes. Her reaction would say a lot. Again, more of this escalation steps needed, such as: touching her hair and telling her how silky it was, verbally escalating how sexy she looked in her dress/skirt and if she matched the colour with her underwear.

If you're going for SDL you need to accelerate and be willing to crash the car.

Personalise conversation about her and reveal something about you so she knows you're a safe and cool guy. And deep eye-contact at all times. She needs to know you're a bad-boy and want to fuck her. There is much to be said but I'd recommend to just focus on getting lays from DG in a "classic "fashion" of getting number and following up with a date later first.

Don't worry, next time will be better. Getting good idates and SDLs with hot girls requires practiced skills and intermediate game for the former and advanced game for the latter (speaking of girls that are genuinely hot and with many options).
(This post was last modified: 01-12-2017 07:53 AM by ksbms.)
01-12-2017 07:47 AM
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JWLZG Offline
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Post: #3077
RE: The Approach Thread
(01-12-2017 07:47 AM)ksbms Wrote:  Idate or SDL weren't on the cards at all. Why? Because she declined to jump through a very minor hoop to start with - giving you her number.

I see no attraction, comfort, seduction woven through your interaction with her at all. You started very blandly, making a commuter's conversation of a nice guy, instead of giving a clear statement of intent, such as "I could not help but notice you've got some style going on for you", then expand on it and do some cold reading, and limit asking questions.

I'm grateful for the detail in your response, ksbms. Maybe I overestimated the vibe of that interaction — reading signals was never my forte — even if any body language can't be gauged from my post, you're pretty much on the ball with everything else. Even though I've never given an outright direct opener in DG, I've at least opened with something along the lines of your example, and I had had a chance in this one.

(01-12-2017 07:47 AM)ksbms Wrote:  It's crucial to find out what her logistics were.

In what way?

(01-12-2017 07:47 AM)ksbms Wrote:  You could've shown confidence and increase attraction with her by, e.g., pointing at her bracelet, asking "what's that", and simultaneously grasping her wrist with your hand for a good few seconds and looking deep into her eyes. Her reaction would say a lot. Again, more of this escalation steps needed, such as: touching her hair and telling her how silky it was, really escalating how sexy she looked in her dress/skirt and if she matched the colour with her underwear.

If you're going for SDL you need to accelerate and be willing to crash the car.

Within memory, I definitely haven't been forward enough like that in DG. Cold feet? Maybe I've underestimated how much girls can let you get away with and sexually charge an approach. I do want to get bolder at bringing up such behaviour even in a public environment like that.

(01-12-2017 07:47 AM)ksbms Wrote:  Personalise conversation about her and reveal something about you so she knows you're a safe and cool guy. And deep eye-contact at all times. She needs to know you're a bad-boy and want to fuck her. There is much to be said but I'd recommend to just focus on getting lays from DG in a "classic "fashion" of getting number and following up with a date later first.

Don't worry, next time will be better. Getting good idates and SDLs with hot girls requires practiced skills and intermediate game for the former and advanced game for the latter (speaking of girls that are genuinely hot and with many options).

Whereabouts could I have personalised my conversation a bit more? As in, what sort of information could I have dropped?

I think my eye contact was on point, I'll try to be a bit more conscious of sexualising that next time.

(01-12-2017 07:27 AM)ksbms Wrote:  First, I have to congratulate you on the memory, I wouldn't have remembered half of the conversations I make with chicks doing dg.

However, I have no idea why you replied what you did, served no purpose?

Just say "No, I don't do Facebook," when she declined the number. It leverages the girl's position by snooping around your profile to to make up her mind (more often, dear I say, to prove herself she was right you weren't up for the job).

A girl seriously interested, even if she proposes Facebook, will comply with your upping the ante and suggesting your taking her number. I can see it work only if your profile is supercool, speaking of Facebook. An important rule is not to add her as a friend or vice-versa, no need for that. Just shoot her a message.

Yeah, look, I wasn't impressed by my caving in that way. I've ploughed through attempted FB add requests before, so I've got no excuse. Her saying, "I don't do numbers first...I have may policies" got me into her frame easily and the Facebook thing seems to be a tactic of attractive, "high-options" girls (I've been attracting a few of those lately.

FWIW, cold approach isn't at all the norm here in Australia (a source of DG paralysis I had recently), so approaching at all could've been as much a statement of intent as any.

I thought I'd done well, but I'm starting to wonder if I've lost this one. Obviously, there's much to learn from this approach, and frank feedback like yours helps with my game progress.
01-12-2017 07:08 PM
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ksbms Offline
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Post: #3078
RE: The Approach Thread
(01-12-2017 07:47 AM)ksbms Wrote:  It's crucial to find out what her logistics were.

In what way?

Parsimoniously. Just ask "what are you up to now?" And then clarify anything that needs clarification.
01-12-2017 07:18 PM
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TheMaleBrain Offline
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Post: #3079
RE: The Approach Thread
Busy week, and has been a while since I approached someone.

Act 1 - meetup
Went to a meetup about business.
First approach - an athletic short HB6/7.
Me: "You look familiar. You were here on the last meetup"
HB6/7: "No. You are probably mistaken".
Me: "So, you were on another meetup here. It was XXX meetup"
HB6/7: "You are right. Wow you have good memory"
Me: "Keep the compliments going (light touch). Why have you come?"
Conversation was flowing for 2-3 m. It turns out she is from Boston (Remeber we are in Israel) and is leaving the night after that day.
Took her business card and working on long game, as she is suppose to come back later in the year.
Second approach - late 30s with a bored look.
Me: "I have a friend with the same family name."
Her: "It is a rare name. Where is he from?"
Me: "XXX town. And you?"
Her: "My husband's name is YYY, but I kept my maiden name as it is part of my brand"
Me: "I see. So why are you here? looking for leads?"
Her: "It is interesting. And why are you here?"
Me: "Great place to pick up chicks. I'm happily divorced"
Her (laughing)
Next

Third approach - HB7/8 girl
Me: "Are you part of the persons managing the meetup?"
Her: "Yes, I am. Sorry got to go"
Next

Act 2 - at the hot tub
I was relaxing in the hot tub after working out and swimming. A short girl with tight body and a one piece suit came in. First time I see someone worth picking up near the sauna.
Me: "We are 3 guys. Please bring additional 2 girls for gender balance"
Her (puzzled): "Why?"
Me: "Gender balance"
Then the other 2 guys get up and leave, leaving me isolated with her.
I continue to engage. she is a yoga instructor. Good.
At then 5 m mark I make my move.
Me: "It's been fun talking to you. We should do it again, as you are an interesting person. Give me your number."
Her: "This is a good time to tell you I'm married"
Me: "No problem. Bring your husband and an attractive friend of yours and we can double".
Her: "mmm...OK"
When I came back she was gone.
Oh well.

"I love a fulfilling and sexual relationship. That is why I make the effort to have many of those" - TheMaleBrain
"Now you see that evil will always triumph because good is dumb." - Spaceballs
"If you strike me down, I shall become more powerful than you could possibly imagine" - Obi-Wan Kenobi
01-14-2017 10:32 AM
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ksbms Offline
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Post: #3080
RE: The Approach Thread
I've just lost my mojo. Last half a dozen of my DG approaches were so lacklustre, most girls were partially confused what the deal was. Needless to say, it fizzled out quickly and didn't even get to the stage of asking them out. Time for self-diagnostics.

I think I switched off sexual aggressiveness, my body language is too soft, I began to stand a bit further away from the girl, speaking quieter, didn't implement physical touching and became outcome dependent.

time to re-calibrate.
(This post was last modified: 01-16-2017 02:21 PM by ksbms.)
01-16-2017 02:21 PM
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TheMaleBrain Offline
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Post: #3081
RE: The Approach Thread
(01-16-2017 02:21 PM)ksbms Wrote:  I've just lost my mojo. Last half a dozen of my DG approaches were so lacklustre, most girls were partially confused what the deal was. Needless to say, it fizzled out quickly and didn't even get to the stage of asking them out. Time for self-diagnostics.

I think I switched off sexual aggressiveness, my body language is too soft, I began to stand a bit further away from the girl, speaking quieter, didn't implement physical touching and became outcome dependent.

time to re-calibrate.

It seems that you may be physically off. If you haven't slept well, eaten well or feel in shape it might affect you.
Try to have ZFG mind set. Turn your aggression on and escalate the hell out of the situation.

"I love a fulfilling and sexual relationship. That is why I make the effort to have many of those" - TheMaleBrain
"Now you see that evil will always triumph because good is dumb." - Spaceballs
"If you strike me down, I shall become more powerful than you could possibly imagine" - Obi-Wan Kenobi
01-16-2017 03:52 PM
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d_hzy Offline
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Post: #3082
RE: The Approach Thread
This was in Montpellier, France.

A week ago, I was waiting for my tram to go to my uni, a really cute french chick (solid 8) walked towards the tram stop, saw me, hesitated for one sec, and sat next to me. I complimented her shoes, she said merci. Btw, I genuinely love french girls' shoe choices and the way they dress.

So the tram came, I got on. I did not talk to her on the first tram (we both had to switch trams) because I did not think she was interested. 5 stops later, we both got off at the same stop waiting for the next tram. She sat down on one of the benches and I went to check how long before the next tram comes. But when I turned around, our eyes crossed and we kinda stared at each other for 2 seconds.

At the point, I went up and sat next to her, started talking. We talked about very general stuff (all in french), like how are you, where are you going, what are you studying, etc... She threw me a couple personal questions like what's your origin, which I thought was interesting and took it as a cue of interest.

And turned out, she is in second year high school, which makes her 17. But the way she dressed and the red lipstick she got on made me think that she was much older.

Then we got on the second tram. This one was really crowded, packed with people going to work. I didn't continue talking to her and she got off 2 stops before my stop. (Here in France, on a crowded tram, if you are the only one talking, everyone would be looking at you). When she got off, we exchanged eye contact again. I was definitely pissed that I didn't get her number.

So fast forward a week later, I got on my tram. And there she was. (I thought she lived nearby my stop but maybe she doesn't.) But again, there were people sitting next to her. I kinda chilled until we got off the first tram.

This time, the next tram was just there when we got off. We rushed on the tram, and I was pretty far from her. The only thing I could do was to get off at her stop. And that's what I did. So I got off at her stop, had to run up to catch her as she was walking fast (probably late for her school), and got her number.

She did tell me her phone just broke tho, so I will have to wait for a little bit before I hit her up.

I'm looking forward to seeing what will happen with this frenchie. She is something special.
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