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The Approach Thread
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ksbms Online
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Post: #3326
RE: The Approach Thread
(07-22-2017 06:43 AM)JWLZG Wrote:  
(07-21-2017 10:26 PM)Hazaer Wrote:  
(07-20-2017 03:50 AM)JWLZG Wrote:  SNIP

(07-20-2017 08:37 AM)Beirut Wrote:  Why didnt you take her home? The minute she decided to stay alone with you i think its a cue that its on.

Plus the fact she doesn't have many nights off to begin with.

I agree with Beirut, you had great rapport with her that she even ditched her friends for you. After the bar, you could have venue changed to a dance venue nearby where you could have escalated further or just asked her to come to your place for that 'another drink' and maybe show your hobbies or something. She was into you at THAT moment but since you didnt give her the feeling that you were ready to take it further she was hesitant to make plans for the future. She didnt give you a definite answer to when to next meet because she wanted it to be that very night (IOI) and also a a little disappointed that you are not leading the interaction further. Wont hold up your chances of another date but no harm doing a restart.

But very good verbal game.
And also, dont wait around for trams or public transport when you are going back with someone, just cab it.

I had that on my mind; I'm not sure what stopped me as we literally lived not a couple hundred metres away. Inexperience with bouncing from night game; not believing I'd escalated enough; part of me not being attracted enough; even part of me courting rejection. All really lame excuses, and I feel like a complete numpty as it's clear from my account ^ that I'd pretty much had it in the bag; she'd let her friends ditch us — how often does that happen!?

I've gotten to the point where I'm past pulling for the sake of the notch; but it doesn't mean I shouldn't push each interaction as far as I can for the sake of experience.

I had the following text exchange with her last night:

[Image: 8t2Llvm.jpg]

[Image: 7l0XvSs.png]

[Image: tITZBnh.png]

Can it be that her attraction would've evaporated that quickly?

JWLZG, I'm afraid you're in a friend zone at best. From your post, I can see mostly comfort and rapport building, neither attraction, nor seduction in place. Too much rapport is no good. You NEED to touch the girl, invade her body, more and more - no physical escalation, no fornication:

"Studies by Burgoon and associates have also found that touch leads to feelings of attraction. Burgoon, Walther, and Baesler (1992) manipulated types of touch by having students participate in a problem solving task with a research assistant posing as a fellow undergraduate. Brief touches by the assistant led to an increase in the student's feelings of credibility, liking, and attraction towards them."

A confident man invariably takes control of a woman's body. A kiss solidifies an overt, mutual acceptance of attraction. Incremental increase in touching, from neutral to erogenous zones amplifies attraction (as per article from above) such that chances to have sex dramatically improve.

You can hammer it on but I don't see anything happen. Next.

I don’t ever give up. I mean, I’d have to be dead or completely incapacitated.

-- Elon Musk

Everyone has a plan 'till they get punched in the mouth.

-- Mike Tyson

He who binds to himself a joy
Does the winged life destroy;
But he who kisses the joy as it flies
Lives in Eternity’s sunrise.


-- William Blake
(This post was last modified: 07-22-2017 07:17 AM by ksbms.)
07-22-2017 07:15 AM
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Burn Offline
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Post: #3327
RE: The Approach Thread
Was out for a long time today and only 1 approach =/ Missed some intimidatingly hot but other than that, there was few solo girls. Very many 2-3girl groups but i dont like approaching them.

The one i opened was a short 23yo Thai. Opened with "hey are you Vietnamese?", i have been studying that language for a while so i thought it would be fun to talk. But as mentioned she was Thai, chatted for a bit and realized she seemed pretty into me so asked if she wanted to have coffee with me some day, she said yes and i took her number.

Approaches: 14
Numbers: 4
Streak: 9
07-22-2017 10:05 AM
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Mig Picante Offline
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Post: #3328
RE: The Approach Thread
Opened a pair of 8s at a small bar last night, a blonde and a brunette.
I was with a large mixed group that had just arrived, having moved from bar to bar and was standing on my own momentarily and they were standing in front of me but a few feet away. It seemed like they wanted me to make a move.

I said hi, how are you, blah blah. They were happy to let me do all the work and gave me closed responses and very little to work with.
I recalled if you can 'just keep plowing' and keep up the momentum in the early moments you will be alright.
I kept talking for a couple of minutes, didn't lean in, rambling on while asking them a few questions and leading and then the brunette tried to take the piss out of me. Only slightly annoyed, I imitated her, repeating exactly what she said in a mocking voice and then laughed at her and her friend and just kept talking.
The blonde one reacted surprisingly well, smiling at me and taking a half step closer to me.
The conversation fizzled out shortly after I turned and talked to a friend.
Felt good to do something quite out of character and get a positive response. The theory works. Maintain frame and just keep going.

Later at another larger bar, with the same big group I'm dancing on my own with friends coming and going and having a great night.
A couple of women, a 7 and an 8 start dancing near me. I'm pretty happy dancing, watching the band, singing and enjoying the music.
They start bumping into me and I just ignore it. They stay nearby and one starts rubbing her ass on my leg.
So I say "Hi how are you going?" and touch her on the hip. She turns around and waggles her finger at me, giving me a smirk like you can't have this, so I laugh I say "You're the one that's been rubbing your ass on my leg?!" and she gives me this sad face. I laugh at her and keep watching the band.

I had a great night, was out much later than usual in a part of town I don't usually go to. Night game I guess, except I was just enjoying myself with friends.
It's good to realise women will try get your attention, putting themselves in front of you.
07-22-2017 11:43 PM
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JWLZG Online
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Post: #3329
RE: The Approach Thread
FRIDAY

Boarded my tram and sat myself opposite (the seats are single) an early-20s looking blonde with a bob haircut, dressed a bit indie/hip-hop. She promptly smiled at me. I took that as a go-ahead, but was put off by the middle-aged looking man sitting opposite the aisle to us, and another dude sitting behind her. I pretended to read the label on my coat.

"That's a really interesting handbag you've got," I opened after a minute or two. It had a rose motif on either side. She smiled again and pulled out her earphones.

"Haha (tells me an anecdote about how she got it)," she responded.

We kept up a bit of lively banter about the bag, vintage shopping and she mentioned how she likes dressing weird. And she's wearing a pink nylon-y hip-hop-esque jacket. Maybe I'm a being harsh on myself, but that's why she gave me IOI's at the start? I was wearing a vintage RAF coat and army surplus pullover with a tartan scarf.

I said something but got drowned out by the noise of the tram. She must've noticed that, because she made a witty comment about that. I said something about listening to music that matched it and she seemed to take it to well. I took another angle.

"Probably as a way to get people's attention off their iPhones and out of the morgue," I suggested wryly.

"Haha yeah natural selection (blah blah)," she agreed.

More content-free banter around that topic, got her laughing about it. I said that I used to be a serial mobile-phone using driver (an offence here) and segued that into reading while driving etc. I brought up Penguin Books somehow (she mentioned carrying books in her handbag), and she lit up and that led to more fun banter that got her laughing when I mentioned my book collection. She laughed some more at my exaggerated quips.

"So where are you off to tonight?" She asked.

"I'm off to a symposium on the punk movement in Melbourne at [name of recording studio]," I said.

"Oh cool (blah blah)"

"(Blah blah) and yourself?"

She said she's off to see a band. I said something about that band and the venue, how they're seeing a few acts coming up that I know of. We chat about music for a while, I mentioned a band that we both like, and her attention gets piqued again. I mentioned something about them being the only one I could not be on any substances while seeing, she goes, "I think this is where we'll have to disagree on drug use."

Is it applying sexual tension to play along with that? I did, we chatted about drugs at festivals, festivals in general, her circle of friends that to go those. She said that they're not from here, so I guessed a few regional cities and towns where she could be from.

"Bendigo?"

"No."

"Castlemaine?"

"No."

I then guessed every Australian state, until I got to NT. Then expressed my surprise that she didn't look like a typical Northern Territorial.

"I take exception to that," she said, smiling. "But carry on."

I don't remember how I got out of that hole I dug, but we talked about something like her looking forward to going back to the warmth of up north. Then she brought up maybe going to live in somewhere like Spain or India. She said she'd lived in the latter, we talked about it, and I mentioned having been to Nepal and Sri Lanka. She liked the mention of that, somehow we got onto travelling Asia, because she said she'd been to Vietnam 5 times; I think it was because I mentioned having just been there, and she implied having an interest in Asian cultures.

That made me rather puzzled.

"Hang on, how old are you?" I asked.

We guessed each others ages, she insisted on me getting to my actual age.

We chatted about that topic for a bit — getting guessed over or under our ages.

She asked me about my immediate movements, and I hers. She said she was off to pre drinks first with her mates. I said I was running an hour late.

"Fashionably late," she said.

Drat. I'd forgotten her connecting tram to the hall was up next, and she told me rather abruptly.

"Nice meeting you," she said.

She got up and waited at the aisle for a minute until her stop.

Dammit! I didn't get around to number closing again!


At the punk forum, they were serving drinks during the interval. I opened one of the bar attendants I thought was cute; a dark brunette of the sort I used to be into, she looked like a paler Rachel Bilson.

Didn't know how to proceed beyond small talk. She must've been receptive because she echoed by reply: "How's your night going?" "Yeah can't complain."
Yesterday 06:24 AM
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Burn Offline
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Post: #3330
RE: The Approach Thread
3 approaches today.

1. Started with one on the subway, we were sitting somewhat close but impossible to talk to her there, hoped she would exit same station as me and she did. Opened when we got off. She got happy but said quickly she was in a rush, most of the time that seems to be true when girls say that, but i dont think it was with this one. She didnt move fast or anything, i was lame and said "ok bye have a good day". Dont know why, that one should have been so easy to just plow through and at least go for the number.

2. Very hot and intimidating girl, opened her and she gave me a huge smile and was nice. We chatted for a little while and she said she was in a rush to yoga. Went for the number but she said she was taken. From before i opened during the interaction and after i couldnt get rid of the feeling "shes out of my league". I need to open more of the intimidating girls.

3. She wasnt very hot, but same as yesterday she looked like she might be Vietnamese. She wasnt but we talked for maybe 10-20 minutes, and after a while a friend of hers, a guy came and joined us and then left. Didnt go for number and im glad i didnt, i wasnt attracted to her. When i was daygaming alot i always went for the number, even though i didnt care for it, for some reason i felt i had to.

It is incredible how much opening girls loosens me socially. I'm going to a wedding next week, i really hope i dont have to go too early, so i can do some approaches before.

Also i have a question. What do you guys send in your first texts? Mostly im just saying something like "Hey nice to meet you, i hope you survived your work day Wink", the one i said that to was very hang over and on her way to work(sent the day after). I've been thinking that if she is at least somewhat interested she will reply even though there is not much to reply to. Am i missing too many girls on this? Im not sending a second text if no answer.

Approaches: 17
Numbers: 4
Streak: 10
Yesterday 07:54 AM
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JWLZG Online
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Post: #3331
RE: The Approach Thread
SATURDAY

I was volunteering at a youth climate change seminar. At the dinner queue, a girl in front of me smiled at me and opened me about the event. I was wearing a hi-vis vest so that would've been social proof?
She wasn't anything that would make me look twice, a brunette 6 (I'm being pretty harsh, more of that to come), average height with some sort of North American accent. She was more than pleasant, and the conversation went from the event to her degree (teaching), and we had a long chat about kids and social media. She seemed engaged; I've got a background in swim and ski teaching so related that heavily.

The convo turned towards her exchange semester in Queensland; we talked about that and her impressions of Australia. Closer to the cashier, we talked about the menu.

"Shall we go find somewhere to sit?" She asked after we got our food.

I led us to a counter in between the pool tables.

"I'm Elissa, by the way," she said, extending her hand.

"JWLZG, how'd you do."

We carried on talking about her country. She seemed happy that I'd been to Canada, talked about BC, then she said she came from just outside Toronto.

"How about we play pool?" I said.

She went, sure, but I'm not much good, which table's got the shortest queue? We spoke to two girls playing on the table next to us, exchanged a few comments on how one was destroying the other. I swapped in with one of them, Elissa talked to the other girl. I heard, "My boyfriend....he's from Perth."

Next!

She had to leave soon after; we swapped goodbyes. I wasn't hugely into the other two girls, but we bantered a bit about where they were from, then talked shit about VLine (our regional rail system). I had to leave soon, so bade farewell to them.

On the way out, a group from the event some 20 metres in front of me were carrying on about a big patch of ice on one of the university lawns. They were making a bit of a fuss about it, taking photos and such. I caught up with them.

"You guys are obviously not from around here," I said.

"Yeah, nah, we aren't (blah blah)," they said.

"Let me guess: Queensland," I said.

"Yeah that's right, (blah blah)."

One of the girls in that group fell behind the others to chat to me one on one. I started by expressing my bewilderment about never having seen snow or ice beyond their freezer. She seemed to take to it well despite my underhanded jibe. We banter on about that, egged on by how I said I was going skiing soonish.

She said that she'd last seen snow when she was 14 in Canada (?). I had her prattle on about that rather passionately, punctuated by my quips on how "You must miss having a real Christmas tree." and "It felt much more authentic leaving stockings out for Santa."

"Oh I'm Amy, by the way," she said.

"I'm JWLZG."

"Nice to meet you."
The conversation segued into Melbourne; she said they'd been here a week, and waxed keenness about my city. I brought up our café culture and op-shops, and she wholeheartedly latched on to that.

Once we reached the pedestrian crossing towards the tram, we'd caught up with the others, who exchanged introductions with me. She ended up talking to the other Asian guy in their group.

I wasn't hard up to press on with that interaction; I wasn't too into her, being a 6. I hadn't even intended to open her specifically! I spent the tram ride getting to know the other Queenslanders. They were going to have dinner before hitting the town. I had stuff to tidy up back home so I exchanged FB details with one of them before getting off.

I ended up not going out with them after all and night gaming with sonderho.

We hit up a bar at the nightlife strip down the road from my house. I used to work there, so could skip the queue.

The quality at this venue is decent, but it varies from night to night. We opened about four sets that lasted about ten minutes at longest. It got to the point where we were getting mixed feelings about this bar, and were thinking of leaving once I'd finished my first beer.

I decided to approach a group of three girls on the dance floor. It's located outdoors, out the back next to the beer garden and was chock-full tonight. These girls were probably most realistic to open, as they were at the edge of the dance floor. I liked their look, which was the clean-cut type. They were dancing rather half-arsed, like they were going through the motions. One of them was whispering something to another.

"You look like you're really enjoying this," I said rather animatedly to the third — the blonde, the one that I was into the most. I'd rate her an 8, at least a 7.5, a young Nicole Kidman facsimile. You have to come in with a bit more energy in night game.

"Yeah (blah blah)," Nicole Kidman said.

"Is it the DJ's fault? Is he really driving you up the wall? I used to work here; shall I get him fired?" I pressed on.

"Haha (blah blah)," she said.

I could tell that they weren't into chatting much, and we could hardly hear each other. I ejected.

Both of us cruised around looking for sets. I do agree that while there were more than a handful of attractive girls, most of them weren't my type, both in looks and background.

We opened a pair of Mediterranean-looking girls at the pool table, bantered about it being covered up, ejected after a bit. Neither of us were really into them. This bar draws a lot of that demographic here.

We came back to that room and happened across a girl alone, leaning by a photo booth texting. We looked at each other and decide to go for it.

"Hey, cheer up! You look like you've just broken up with your boyfriend!" I exclaimed, advancing on her. Sonderho adds something to that effect.

She looks up. Right on cue:

"Yeah I've just broken up with my boyfriend blah blah," she said dejectedly.

Her face was bolt-straight. We were sucked in.

"Holy shit, have you actually?" I went.

"Blah blah (carries on the charade) I feel like shit now," she goes on.

"I'm fucking sorry, wanna have some of my beer? Blah blah," I proffered my schooner towards her.

"Nah it's OK, blah blah, I'm just letting my friends know."

"How about a cigarette?" I pulled out a packet from my coat.

She then went on to admit that she was taking the piss out of us, that she hadn't really just broken up with her boyfriend (and that she doesn't have one?).

We made a massive fuss about it, giving her a bit of shit.
Sonderho then brings up the unusualness of my cigarettes.

"Yeah they're Ukrainian," I showed her the packet. "Got them at the Soviet flea market in Estonia or some shit."

She seemed to show a bit of interest in it. We asked her if she's Ukrainian, might have brought up some other nationalities.

"Nah I'm just Australian," she said.

"No shit you're Australian, we're in Australia!" I couldn't help being a smartarse.

We banter a bit about where we're from; I gave her a bit of shit when she said where she's from — a slightly disadvantaged outer suburb whose name gets corrupted into a rather rude moniker. She did likewise when I mentioned the one I grew up in — a wanky upper-middle class suburbs.

"Yeah it's all private schools and beach boxes there," I did my best Alan Rickman impression.

We talked about them being massive postcard clichés, sonderho brought them up from an interstate perspective and we made a big hoo-ha about him having just arrived in Victoria and tasted his first HSP (a meal served at kebab shops here and a huge local meme).

Just like with the boyfriend thing, she gets completely hoodwinked and we bantered about that. She then admits that she's a bit out of touch with the city after having lived abroad for a year.

"Whereabouts?"

"Denmark."

That's random.

"Really? I'm going there next year maybe. I'm planning to do my master's there."

"Oh right! Where at?" She immediately became much more engaged.

"Aarhus....know the one?" I asked.

"Aarhus! I lived there!" She definitely lit up.

We ploughed into a massive dialogue about Denmark, and the conversation ratcheted a few degrees in excitement. My memory of Aarhus is hazy, and I wasn't as on point with dropping references to it as I would with Paris or Barcelona, two other European cities I'd spent significant time in. I even name-dropped places in Copenhagen — having mentioned Christiania! I don't think it mattered though, I'd pretty much arrested her interest. We tossed a few Danish cultural references — I mentioned I'd been watching a Danish series to get the hang of the language, she asked which, I go, "1864?", she responds, "Oh the one about the war (with Prussia)! Blah blah" — then I steered it to which uni she goes to here, and took a few guesses at what she studied. I threw in a few references to Germaine Greer and Chomsky to get her laughing. After she went, "French?!" What do you think I look like blah blah?", I carried on bullshitting how I can tell a French aficionado looks like, how Dad taught me to cook Crêpes Suzette (he did), how to used it to get together with my Mum, etc. etc. She asked me where I went to and what I studied.
All throughout, we kept it fun and upbeat. I don't recall if there was anything in between, but I asked what she was doing on the 24th (of August); told her about a theatre fest at her university where I was directing a production. She seemed responsive to that, mentioned that she knew people performing in it. Our tone was pretty banter-y so I mentioned I'd have some of my paintings put up there, deliberately fumbled over the hall where they'd be put up, and bullshitted more about "that's where they'd be in twenty years" at the mention of the premiere gallery on the campus. Since she perked up further at the mention of paintings, I was like, "check my Instagram", at which she made a show of pulling out her mobile and looking me up. We made a fuss about her misspelling my username.

Bit late but I started to use the chance to kino. Probably 15 minutes had passed though?
We scrolled through my profile and talked more shit. She went on about how she'd comment on stuff from way back and I went along with that.

Again, I don't recall what we spoke about next; I know travel came up eventually. I mentioned having travelled SEA, she seemed to get hooked by that aspect. She mentioned travelling Indonesia, how she speaks the language and I threw in a reference to the country that made her laugh. We chatted about what it's like to travel Asia as a white person and an Asian person. Like the tram girl on Friday, I gathered she had some interest in Asian cultures.

She brought up her friends on the dance floor, but didn't seem interested in joining them(!!). We talked a bit about the music that was playing, the shit dancing — as if on cue, her friends showed up by our in a few minutes. It was Nicole Kidman's group that I opened before! She promptly introduced herself after chatting to Aarhus girl.

"Hey! I'm Brontë,"said Nicole Kidman, extending her hand.

"Hey, I'm JWLZG," I shook it.

"You're the guy that DJs!"

I could've said I don't actually DJ (I used to), but I spun some shit along those lines without confirming or denying it. She lapped it up.

They were talking about how the place was shit, it's about to close, where could they go. I subtly texted sonderho a reply as to his whereabouts.

"How about going to H____?" I mentioned the bar that he was at.

They seemed interested, talked about getting a kebab, got me involved into the conversation. Chatted between the four, in no time, the venue was about to shut, so we piled out onto the pavement.

Sonderho joined us; at least 2 on a 4-set was a bit more realistic, the girls were a bit indecisive about where to go, and Nicole Kidman was off a few metres away talking to two guy friends. The girls were asking about our immediate logistics, I'm familiar with the area, so I had an idea where to head to. They were thinking of getting an Uber back; one of them had to wake up early to work back home in the country (!). Nicole Kidman re-joined us from across the road, she started asking me about myself, we all walked down the road a few metres. We chatted about the area we were in, mentioned how her boyfriend lives in the suburb next to it (damn!) connected on a few things.

The other girls got drawn into the conversation, we talked shit about living in the country. I brought up whether they had kangaroos in their backyard, and how they tasted; I mentioned that I shoot them, which seemed to shock some of them. I made a rather self-deprecating comment on how I wasn't winning to many brownie points with them, but Nicole Kidman saved me with chat about how kangaroo meat is nutritious, she studies Health Science (?), I made a few references to her university (my sister went there) and she reacted well to that. We talked about game meats and that segued into finding out we'd travelled Nepal (and Vietnam?). We high-fived after I mentioned Annapurna.

I made a last attempt at a day 2 with Aarhus girl. I proposed to meet at her campus (mine is down the road) on Tuesday to see a band. She was open to the idea but said, "I don't have classes on Tuesdays".
We split up after about 100 metres, the girls were like, "lovely to meet you!" when their Uber arrived.

I feel like I could've done something further to escalate. I'm that rusty with night game. Aarhus chick and I were together for maybe 30-40 minutes chatting alone, facing each other in that same position, against the French windows — I only started using kino maybe halfway through! Her body language wasn't defensive or anything, no crossed arms. What's a way to transition to a make out, given the content of our dialogue and our physical stance? There was definitely enough time to number close. In a way, it's a good thing I didn't suggested a venue chance (sonderho messaged me that idea), though it didn't come into my head, as I hadn't known she was with that earlier group I opened.

I could hamsterise that I wasn't hugely into her, looks-wise, she's probably a 6.5/7? Sonderho also mentioned later on that her attitude wasn't the sexiest (and I quote: in the way she flirted [or lack of], or lack of giggling/coy smiling...and the boyfriend thing at the start). What my impression was was that she is cool, but physically, I was comparing her to Nicole Kidman, who I'd preferred more (and she's physically more my type). I looked up the latter on Facebook and it turned out that she is single! What's the deal with gaming the girlfriend of someone you've approached?

I do have her on IG though, so I could message her on there.
(This post was last modified: Today 01:41 AM by JWLZG.)
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Dream Medicine
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Post: #3332
RE: The Approach Thread
I was walking around town in the evening, no girls, then finally noticed from far away girl with nice hair, nice body, and nice walk. Girls with well proportioned body, adequate hips and long legs just have this smooth, sexy walk so I knew, before approaching, that at least in the body department the girl was nice. I wasn't disappointed. Body 8-8.5 I saw her face, 7-7.5 nice as well. However, she was babbling on the phone. So followed her up the street. Then she returned, took a few turns. I kept following. It lasted no less than 15 minutes, I think. Finally, she got off the phone, walked really slow, was taking pictures of the statues - I was certain she was a tourist by then. She stopped at a very convenient location and it was the right moment to approach her.

"Hey, excuse me, I just saw you over there, and I can tell you I liked the way you walked. Are you a ballet dancer?"

It took a bit back and forth for her to realise what was going on. Touched her hair, her forearm, seemed to hook well. Bear in mind, it was my first set, I wasn't really on. Also, important element, it was 9pm. She was Italian and an international tour guide staying for two more nights (though returning a week after that). She seemed very confident and relaxed. Couldn't make my mind up if I should've been gunning for SDL or date plus a lay day after. Walked up a street with her, she walked away suddenly to talk to her tourists from earlier that day. Didn't now what to do, so instead of sticking next to her which I think would've been best, walked away some 12 meters to give her space and see what she'd do. After 5 minutes she came up to me, said she was sorry we continued walking.

However, I still didn't make my mind up and my mental game wasn't strong - for whatever reason I didn't believe I could immediately bounce to a bar for drinks, which, in hindsight, should've done 10-15minutes into the opener. Instead, decided to walk with her towards the park where there's a bar I liked, though secluded amidst new development. Rapport was not bad, reciprocal touching, she seemed interested, said she had nothing else to do. Like an idiot, kept walking around, showing her parts of town, what was I thinking? We got to university area, crossed, past the park, where she suggested about walking back but I was so focused I didn't listen. It was getting really dark, past 10pm, led her towards this new development, and it was almost spooky, quiet, no people, apart from at the bar which was quiet anyway. We looked around the central piazza, then she walked between some buildings and I stayed rooted to the ground just some 10 meters in front of the bar I wanted to take her to. After a few minutes she came back, but I was texting. She kind of slowly walked past me, I wasn't following, thinking she was just looking around but then she turned around the corner, from where we came and... just disappeared. Completely vanished.

At first, I was completely lost what has just happened. Then, hours later, talking to my wingman, it transpired. The thing is, I know the area very well, walked around, to and fro, hundreds of times, and it's generally very, very safe. However, it was Sunday, dark, quiet, no people around, she was a tourist in some sense, didn't know the area, I'm a strange man after all, so it is no surprise, especially after an hour, she started to become suspicious and began to think this could've been very unsafe for her, hence she decided to run for her safety. And darkness can amplify negative thoughts. In hindsight, this girl was very open-minded and it was my set to lose it. Which I did...

I'm embarrassed I've made such a mistake. SHOULD've taken her to a centrally located bar, within 5 minutes walk, in well-lit area. To make it worse, I learnt she stayed in a nice hotel located very centrally, less 10 minutes walk from where I stopped her. Things to keep in mind:

- whether gunning for SDL or idate, if late at night, bounce immediately to the first reasonable bar for drinks,
- with a tourist always default for SDL, if not amenable, back off, take number if she stays for another day(s), seed the next date,
- figure out her logistics in detail early on,
- don't walk tired, after all day, girls around town to less known part of town (even if central), especially when it gets dark,
- feel more entitled and with more conviction and escalate quicker.

I'm so embarrassed I deserve public flogging Undecided

I don’t ever give up. I mean, I’d have to be dead or completely incapacitated.

-- Elon Musk

Everyone has a plan 'till they get punched in the mouth.

-- Mike Tyson

He who binds to himself a joy
Does the winged life destroy;
But he who kisses the joy as it flies
Lives in Eternity’s sunrise.


-- William Blake
(This post was last modified: Today 09:40 AM by ksbms.)
Today 09:34 AM
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