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Girl worried that I'm a 'player'?
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wintergreen Offline
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Post: #1
Girl worried that I'm a 'player'?
I've been seeing this girl for about 4 weeks and we've been on about 6 dates together (we had sex for the first time last week). Everything is going well and she's very much into me. I'm into her too and while I'm still going out, getting numbers, etc., I am thinking that this might turn into a longer-term relationship.

So.. she makes a lot of comments like "you're such a player, aren't you?" and other things about how I must get with a lot of girls. I don't try to convince her otherwise and I don't give her straight answers when she asks.

Last night I was out with her and she kinda surprised me with this question as we were kissing outside in a park: "why do you like me?" and then she walked off on her own for a bit. I didn't run after her or anything and we met up a minute later. The night continued normally, although she was a little colder when I dropped her off and she didn't invite me up to her place.

I wasn't really sure how to answer it, so I said that it was a ridiculous question and left it at that (figuring it was just a test). Now, I'm not so sure..

I'm wondering if she's worried that I just want her for sex and she's afraid that I'll bang her a few times and disappear.

How do I show her that I actually do like her as relationship potential without coming off weak or beta? I feel like I should say something to put her at ease.. is that just my old beta mindset leaking out? I want the relationship to proceed but I don't want to do something that's going to deflate all the attraction I've built up in the last month.
09-15-2008 09:15 PM
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duncanidaho Offline
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Post: #2
RE: Girl worried that I'm a 'player'?
(09-15-2008 09:15 PM)wintergreen Wrote:  I'm wondering if she's worried that I just want her for sex and she's afraid that I'll bang her a few times and disappear.
I think you're right, she sees you seeing her as a sex thing instead of something more. If you two are still going out then go do something together during the day and in conversations find commonalities and similar interests that the two of you share. I'm thinking she needs to feel that there's something between you two besides bedsheet bingo. ;D

Your description of the scenario sounds like you're amiable to a long term relationship with this woman, so express verbally what it is about her that keeps you around besides the sex. At this point in the relationship it's safe to reveal some of what you're feeling.
09-15-2008 10:46 PM
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Roosh Offline
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Post: #3
RE: Girl worried that I'm a 'player'?
You're not thinking clearly about this.

She is dating you, banging you, and you think she doesn't like that you're a player? Bells should be going off in your head.

Let me rewrite something of yours...

Quote:I'm wondering if she wants me so bad because I just want her for sex and she's afraid that I'll bang her a few times and disappear.

Correct!

Now i'm not saying be obvious about being a player, but the worst thing you can do is convince her you are a beta.

JUST KEEP DOING WHAT YOU ARE DOING BECAUSE OBVIOUSLY THAT'S WHAT SHE LIKES

A girl's words are meaningless. Her actions... opening her legs for you, seeing you, getting emotional for you... is all that matters.

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09-15-2008 11:13 PM
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wintergreen Offline
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Post: #4
RE: Girl worried that I'm a 'player'?
(09-15-2008 10:46 PM)duncanidaho Wrote:  Your description of the scenario sounds like you're amiable to a long term relationship with this woman, so express verbally what it is about her that keeps you around besides the sex. At this point in the relationship it's safe to reveal some of what you're feeling.

This is exactly what I wanted to know. My old self would've been ready to tell her how much I liked her on the 2nd date and I think that since I'm relatively new to this stuff I tend to overcompensate in the direction of the "indifferent alpha."
09-15-2008 11:15 PM
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wintergreen Offline
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Post: #5
RE: Girl worried that I'm a 'player'?
(09-15-2008 11:13 PM)Roosh Wrote:  JUST KEEP DOING WHAT YOU ARE DOING BECAUSE OBVIOUSLY THAT'S WHAT SHE LIKES

A girl's words are meaningless. Her actions... opening her legs for you, seeing you, getting emotional for you... is all that matters.

Good point.
09-15-2008 11:21 PM
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broken Offline
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Post: #6
RE: Girl worried that I'm a 'player'?
(09-15-2008 09:15 PM)wintergreen Wrote:  I've been seeing this girl for about 4 weeks and we've been on about 6 dates together (we had sex for the first time last week). Everything is going well and she's very much into me. I'm into her too

Roosh nailed it.

But what does "i'm into her too" mean?

Exclusive?
Main girl in the rotation?
Friends With Benefits?
FB?
ONS?

You set the tone of what's going to happen between the 2 of you, right before the act, and definitely right after.
09-16-2008 02:46 PM
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wintergreen Offline
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Post: #7
RE: Girl worried that I'm a 'player'?
(09-16-2008 02:46 PM)broken Wrote:  But what does "i'm into her too" mean?

Exclusive?
Main girl in the rotation?
Friends With Benefits?
FB?
ONS?

You set the tone of what's going to happen between the 2 of you, right before the act, and definitely right after.

She's the main girl in the rotation.
09-16-2008 10:05 PM
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