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Is living with girls beta/ bad advice?
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Asaxon Offline
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Post: #1
Is living with girls beta/ bad advice?
Hi everyone,
out of curiosity I would like some opinions on my personal situation. I never learnt about game until I was in my late 20s but have found myself travelling the world for 7 years now. I never specifically looked for it but always found a girlfriend and ended up living with them/ their family for a few weeks or months. Me being a foreigner, I never felt any shame about it and when they got too clingy ("I want a riiiing") I usually left the country and let the relationship fizzle out (normally after 2 to 3 months, like clockwork). This has happened in Canada, the US,Brazil, Chile, Thailand. Also, I usually ended up paying for a few more things than my usual 50% on dates etc because living with them saved me a lot and I like to be fair. Is my "temporary oneitis and nesting" a beta trait? Any thoughts? Don't spare me;-)
11-15-2012 01:35 PM
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Rick91 Offline
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Post: #2
RE: Is living with girls beta/ bad advice?
What are you actually doing with your life?
11-15-2012 01:40 PM
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babelfish669 Offline
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Post: #3
RE: Is living with girls beta/ bad advice?
Living with a girls family? Yes, beta.
11-15-2012 01:43 PM
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Asaxon Offline
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RE: Is living with girls beta/ bad advice?
I am temporarily location independent and finishing up my dissertation. I will not have the luxury of living abroad much once that is done...trying to balance between sampling different cultures/ girls and having a bit of stability. Going out to meet someone new every night is too time consuming as I need to write about 4 to 6 hours a day these days and do not want to be hungover...I have a condo and secure job waiting for me at home so it is not like I am bouncing around due to lack of options, just enjoy living in different places.
(This post was last modified: 11-15-2012 01:51 PM by Asaxon.)
11-15-2012 01:45 PM
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Caligula Offline
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Post: #5
RE: Is living with girls beta/ bad advice?
Who cares? What are you so worried about? If it works for you and you enjoy the arrangement, go ahead and do it.

The only thing you should be worried about is if it's stopping you from achieving your goals. Would you deep down prefer to be independent? Is living with girls making you lazy and stopping you from getting the independence you want?

In that case it's not optimal. But that has nothing to do with the 'betaness' of the arrangement.

"A flower can not remain in bloom for years, but a garden can be cultivated to bloom throughout seasons and years." - xsplat
(This post was last modified: 11-15-2012 01:52 PM by Caligula.)
11-15-2012 01:50 PM
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Beyond Borders
Asaxon Offline
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Post: #6
RE: Is living with girls beta/ bad advice?
I am not worried, just reflective and curious to get a manosphere view. My blue pill friends, of course, find my lifestyle revolting as I never bring the girls home or commit, pretty much having a new short term relationship every three months. Regarding goals, one of my goals is to experience culture and that is best done from the inside, not from a hotel room. On the other hand side, girls do take a lot of time and create unnecessary distractions by demanding help and attention. When that side got too strong I usually packed up. Interestingly enough most of the, still email me and would like to get back together one day. I must radiate "easy to Talk into marriage" to them even though I always state that marriage is not something I ever want. They see it as a challenge I think.
(This post was last modified: 11-15-2012 01:57 PM by Asaxon.)
11-15-2012 01:53 PM
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Beyond Borders Away
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Post: #7
RE: Is living with girls beta/ bad advice?
For godsakes, everyone, stop using the word "beta" and stop worrying about whether or not it applies to you or not. For one thing, you can tell by reading all the posts about it that everyone has a different definition. For another, if I did subscribe to the concept, which I don't, I can't think of anything less "alpha" than worrying about how a bunch of guys on an internet forum assess the manliness of your lifestyle.

It sounds to me like you're working the system and seeing the world - if I were you I'd be more worried about the moral repercussions of using poor or needy people for a place to stay, if that's even what's going on. (Not making a judgement call here at all, as I don't have the full details or really care how you choose to live, so don't feel a need to defend yourself on this).

But I'd hardly worry that "nesting" makes you a pussy.

You're a man. You like to be with and live with women. You like steady pussy and a comfortable living situation. I say that as long as they aren't wearing the pants 24/7 while you stay with them, there's nothing wrong with that.

Do what makes you happy.

"The individual has always had to struggle to keep from being overwhelmed by the tribe.
To be your own man is a hard business. If you try it, you'll be lonely often, and sometimes
frightened. But no price is too high to pay for the privilege of owning yourself." - Kipling
(This post was last modified: 11-15-2012 02:01 PM by Beyond Borders.)
11-15-2012 02:00 PM
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Beyond Borders Away
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Post: #8
RE: Is living with girls beta/ bad advice?
(11-15-2012 01:53 PM)Asaxon Wrote:  My blue pill friends, of course, find my lifestyle revolting as I never bring the girls home or commit, pretty much having a new short term relationship every three months.

Yeah, those people are fucking crazy. Smile

"The individual has always had to struggle to keep from being overwhelmed by the tribe.
To be your own man is a hard business. If you try it, you'll be lonely often, and sometimes
frightened. But no price is too high to pay for the privilege of owning yourself." - Kipling
11-15-2012 02:03 PM
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Asaxon Offline
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Post: #9
RE: Is living with girls beta/ bad advice?
Thanks everyone so far. I agree that the "beta worry" is a bit silly in general but I do appreciate the perspective of red pill men on here. I know that my blue pill background sees me as "wasting" my life by not settling down with kids by now. I disagree and cite that had I settled down I would have never been able to finish my master's degree and start my PhD since that took up all my time and money, no resources left for rings, weddings, kids... Now I see my blue pill brothers and classmates living stable but very constraining lives struggling to keep up with the demands of their oh so stressed housewives.
11-15-2012 02:12 PM
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RevolutionaryCause Offline
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RE: Is living with girls beta/ bad advice?
Beyond Borders makes a very good point. People really take the alpha/beta in a wrong way. Actions are not alpha/beta. Alpha/beta is a mentality.If james bond live with his girls family while he was traveling, would he be beta? Fuck no! A lot of people in this forum have taken this alpha/beta thing to the heart, everything cant be black or white and im sure im not the first person to say this. If your staying with your girl and her family to save money then yea its acceptable. But if living with your girl is affecting you in reaching your goals or you are suffering from oneitis then dont do it. Another thing, fuck what people think. Just do you!
11-15-2012 02:21 PM
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lush1 Offline
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Post: #11
RE: Is living with girls beta/ bad advice?
If you are happy then it doesnt matter.
11-15-2012 02:35 PM
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reino341 Offline
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RE: Is living with girls beta/ bad advice?
(11-15-2012 02:21 PM)RevolutionaryCause Wrote:  Beyond Borders makes a very good point. People really take the alpha/beta in a wrong way. Actions are not alpha/beta. Alpha/beta is a mentality.If james bond live with his girls family while he was traveling, would he be beta? Fuck no! A lot of people in this forum have taken this alpha/beta thing to the heart, everything cant be black or white and im sure im not the first person to say this. If your staying with your girl and her family to save money then yea its acceptable. But if living with your girl is affecting you in reaching your goals or you are suffering from oneitis then dont do it. Another thing, fuck what people think. Just do you!

I wish more people understood this. Is it beta/stalkerish/creepy/whatever to turn up at the girl's door who possibly by mistake gave you the wrong number? Only if you fucking think it is. Is it alpha mentality to go after something you liked and at the same time make yourself vulnerable to harsh rejection, I'd say so.

Lack of self-awareness and one-itis are obvious caveats in this specific example, however.
11-15-2012 02:38 PM
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R Smoov Offline
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Post: #13
RE: Is living with girls beta/ bad advice?
Like others said here: who gives a shit? Just try it out!

I lived in a house where there was mainly girls. It's not always as bad as you think. Although I might get suspended from the school, one of the girls who lived in my hall messaged me to see if I was okay. And also to tell me she prayed for me hoping I was okay after my 2nd hospital visit.

I'm good now, but sheesh you dont know how happy that made me felt. You don't have to live with them forever, but at least you'll be happy to know that the girls you live with could possibly be your homegirls for the long term. Every player needs a team of homegirls.

Besides if you really needed to live somewhere to survive that alpha/beta shit would go out the window.
11-15-2012 03:02 PM
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Alpha Hunter Zero Offline
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Post: #14
RE: Is living with girls beta/ bad advice?
Technically you're crashing temporarily w/these chicks, not living with them, and when shit hits the fan you bounce. Doesnt sound too beta, maybe a little impulsive, but nothing more.
11-15-2012 03:19 PM
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oldnemesis Offline
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Post: #15
RE: Is living with girls beta/ bad advice?
(11-15-2012 01:35 PM)Asaxon Wrote:  Also, I usually ended up paying for a few more things than my usual 50% on dates etc because living with them saved me a lot and I like to be fair. Is my "temporary oneitis and nesting" a beta trait? Any thoughts? Don't spare me;-)

My thoughts is that you're enjoying it but at the same time you're really insecure about it.

If you really care what a bunch of strangers you've never met in your life thinks about your lifestyle, you definitely have some issues to work on.
11-15-2012 03:37 PM
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