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Is it ever ok for a guy to take his wife's last name?
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stylishplayboy Offline
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Post: #1
Is it ever ok for a guy to take his wife's last name?
So, I'm looking on facebook.

This guy I knew in high school...last name was literally "Olejnijzycak". A very odd Polish last name that was basically unpronounceable.

I see now...his last name is Anderson.

He explained it, said it was a difficult decision, but ultimately, he thought it would be easier for his kids to have his wife's last name, and basically told anyone who judges him - to erase him from their friends list. Pretty bold move in my opinion.

Women do look forward sometimes to a new last name, and sometimes they don't. If you google "Don't like fiancee's last name", quite a bit comes up. I think he used the same rationale, except took a new spin on it, citing it would be easier for kids in the future.

The other thing, this day & age, anything can be found on google, having a rare last name basically exposes you to the world a lot faster than someone with a common/fairly common last name.

This guy, from what I remember, was cool, and it was little surprising to see, but I sort of understand.

Just wondering if anyone thinks it's ever an applicable thing to do.
01-03-2013 11:38 PM
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jammer Offline
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RE: Is it ever ok for a guy to take his wife's last name?
No unless her last name is Kennedy
01-03-2013 11:47 PM
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Hades Offline
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RE: Is it ever ok for a guy to take his wife's last name?
If your last name sucks and you have no attachment to it, change it to something you like. No sense in taking your wife's last name.
01-04-2013 12:00 AM
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Therapsid Offline
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RE: Is it ever ok for a guy to take his wife's last name?
What a disgrace. I understand the whole difficult surname business. When my father came to America he switched his first and last names precisely for that reason - for business purposes he wanted a less polysyllabic last name.

So there were other options here. He could have legally changed his name to shorten or Anglicize it as generations of immigrants have done. Or he could have stuck with his Polish name, however challenging it might be for Americans to pronounce.

But instead he took the name of his wife and bestowed upon his children the same. In the past, men wanted sons to be heirs and continue the family name. Here, son or daughter it's all the same, since they're all the children of a matriarchal clan.
01-04-2013 12:01 AM
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stylishplayboy Offline
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RE: Is it ever ok for a guy to take his wife's last name?
(01-04-2013 12:00 AM)Hades Wrote:  If your last name sucks and you have no attachment to it, change it to something you like. No sense in taking your wife's last name.

I'm assuming they discussed that, but thought it would be easier to just use hers, especially given the simplicity.
01-04-2013 12:07 AM
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Lemmo Offline
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RE: Is it ever ok for a guy to take his wife's last name?
No
01-04-2013 12:11 AM
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stylishplayboy Offline
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RE: Is it ever ok for a guy to take his wife's last name?
What about if the woman doesn't want the guys last name? If a name is super odd, should this at least be somewhat understood? I think that may be what happened.

Hyphenated last names can be complicated, and having different last names just seems like the marriage never really went through.
01-04-2013 12:25 AM
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Therapsid Offline
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RE: Is it ever ok for a guy to take his wife's last name?
(01-04-2013 12:25 AM)stylishplayboy Wrote:  What about if the woman doesn't want the guys last name? If a name is super odd, should this at least be somewhat understood? I think that may be what happened.

Hyphenated last names can be complicated, and having different last names just seems like the marriage never really went through.

What? Come on. A woman who wants to marry a guy will happily *happily* take his weird ass name.

I have a friend, his last name is Mansour. Pronounced "Man Sour". He just married a beautiful blonde dancer and she took his name with a smile and a tear of happiness in her eye.

You know, football great Dick Butkus. One of the worst names. His wife Helen took it and has kept it since 1963.
(This post was last modified: 01-04-2013 12:36 AM by Therapsid.)
01-04-2013 12:35 AM
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Emancipator Offline
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RE: Is it ever ok for a guy to take his wife's last name?
I don't think that the man should ever change his last name to his spouse's (unless stated above, Kennedy). I don't mind the woman not changing her family, as long as the children don't get that annoying ass hyphened last name.
01-04-2013 12:40 AM
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TheMachinist Offline
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RE: Is it ever ok for a guy to take his wife's last name?
My last name is part of the deal.If a woman don't like it she can take a walk.
01-04-2013 12:45 AM
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stylishplayboy Offline
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RE: Is it ever ok for a guy to take his wife's last name?
I think it needs to be looked into further than the knee-jerk reaction.

More women are keeping last names now (not even hyphenating) it's always spun as some "female empowerment" BS...but it isn't that. They simply don't like the sound of it, and because it's more accepted now, they do it more often. I would enjoy telling a feminist that. They wouldn't know how to reply. You'll never see a woman with a bizarre last name (besides in the outlier sense) not take her husband's last name (assuming it sounds better than hers).

I think for a guy, having an appealing last name is one of those intangibles that gets overlooked by society.

Women only keep their last name when they don't like the sound of their husband's last name, or if it's Dahmer, a rare last name completely tied to infamy.

The by-product now is, there are some men with bizarre last names taking their wives last name, if it sounds more appealing. I don't think it's even about pronunciation that much.
(This post was last modified: 01-04-2013 12:59 AM by stylishplayboy.)
01-04-2013 12:56 AM
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Stitch Offline
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RE: Is it ever ok for a guy to take his wife's last name?
My (ex-)wife didn't take my last name, and actually there was a fair move among my friends that I should take hers because it sounded better. But my name is my identity; for better or worse, I'm sticking with it.

By the same token, it really didn't bother me that my wife didn't take mine; I'd gotten used to her name as her identity too. Just didn't seem like that big a deal to me (though in retrospect maybe a pretty good warning sign).
01-04-2013 03:32 AM
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Asaxon Offline
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RE: Is it ever ok for a guy to take his wife's last name?
In countries where you cannot change your name easily, maybe. In the US no! It takes a hundred bucks and a quick court session and you are finished, so why not Anglicize your own name?
(This post was last modified: 01-04-2013 03:41 AM by Asaxon.)
01-04-2013 03:40 AM
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stylishplayboy Offline
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RE: Is it ever ok for a guy to take his wife's last name?
If a last name looks so unpronounceable it might as well be a symbol, it's probably easier understood.

I personally think that is a statistical outlier, a name that hard to pronounce.

It definitely benefits men more than women to have a "Hollywood" sounding last name though.

Tom Cruise simply sounds better than Tom Mapother.
01-04-2013 03:51 AM
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Architekt Offline
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RE: Is it ever ok for a guy to take his wife's last name?
I would have been pretty stoked if my dad took my mother's maiden name. I use it as a fake when I'm out quite often, and I've considered getting it changed a couple of times. My brother and sister both have it, so I'm a tad jelly.
01-04-2013 03:51 AM
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bojangles Offline
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RE: Is it ever ok for a guy to take his wife's last name?
Never, I remember a roissy post on this back in the day

https://heartiste.wordpress.com/2008/05/...ifes-name/

Don't forget to check out my latest post on Return of Kings - 6 Things Indian Guys Need To Understand About Game

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01-04-2013 06:30 AM
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JJ Roberts Offline
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RE: Is it ever ok for a guy to take his wife's last name?
Interesting new last name. Anderson is a Nordic surname (originally Andersen) and it literally means son of Ander.
01-04-2013 06:30 AM
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Vicious Offline
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RE: Is it ever ok for a guy to take his wife's last name?
If her last name is Roosevelt, Rotschild, Wallenberg etc then sure. Those are the kind of names that open doors and that you want your kids to have. This is the kind of thing you have to be pragmatic about.

(01-04-2013 06:30 AM)JJ Roberts Wrote:  Interesting new last name. Anderson is a Nordic surname (originally Andersen) and it literally means son of Ander.

The other way around. In Iceland this practise is still common.
01-04-2013 09:12 AM
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Timoteo Offline
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RE: Is it ever ok for a guy to take his wife's last name?
While I understand the practical reasons for doing this, he's erasing his family name. The name his father gave to him, that HIS father gave to him, that HIS father gave to him. Taking a woman's name sickens and saddens me. I even understand to an extent why a woman would want to keep HER own surname, but a man simply can't forfeit his. I would have preferred he change to a phonetic spelling of his own name to make it easier for his children in that way, but not to erase it. Names like his make you unique. I have a unique, though not difficult to spell or pronounce, last name. When someone learns what my last name is, they immediately say, "really?" Even with a sound, practical reason, it's troublesome to me that he essentially erased part of his family history.

The former Dodgers' pitcher, Orel Hershiser, had a goofy-ass name. It was passed down from two prior generations (his full name was Orel Leonard Hershiser III). And when his wife gave birth to their first son, it was understood that he would be the IVth. No argument, no discussion. He should have kept and passed his name to his children - let the world adjust to them, not the other way around.

"The best kind of pride is that which compels a man to do his best when no one is watching."
01-04-2013 11:02 AM
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soup Offline
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RE: Is it ever ok for a guy to take his wife's last name?
no
01-04-2013 11:12 AM
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Blackhawk Offline
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RE: Is it ever ok for a guy to take his wife's last name?
His name was pretty bad. He did well to change it.

He's probably also scoring mad points with his new father-in-law. "Hey new son-in-law, how'd you like me to pay that down payment for you on that new house?"

I've seen wills get rewritten for less. That's how smart of a move this is.

You can bet the wedding gifts from the Anderson side of the family were all extra generous.

Likewise if you have a name that translates badly into English, like Lipschitz or Gaylord, you should ditch it in a heart beat. Your ancestors are not honored by their progeny being held back by a name meaning something they didn't intend in a different language in a distant country.

All sorts of people get held back in life because of dumb names their parents gave them. Part of being an adult is not being limited by what your parents did, fixing the mistakes they left behind, and improving yourself beyond what they were capable of.

This guy would be a chump to hold onto to either of his names:
[Image: anass-afadass.jpg]

and what idiot would name their kid "Jesus Condom"? Really. That's just mean. Change this kid's name, now.

[Image: jesus-condom.jpg]

"Alpha children wear grey. They work much harder than we do, because they're so frightfully clever. I'm awfully glad I'm a Beta, because I don't work so hard. And then we are much better than the Gammas and Deltas. Gammas are stupid. They all wear green, and Delta children wear khaki. Oh no, I don't want to play with Delta children. And Epsilons are still worse. They're too stupid to be able to read or write. Besides they wear black, which is such a beastly color. I'm so glad I'm a Beta."
--Aldous Huxley, Brave New World
(This post was last modified: 01-04-2013 05:40 PM by Blackhawk.)
01-04-2013 04:46 PM
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