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Evan Marc Katz: Dating coach for smart, strong successful women
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Dreamdorian Offline
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Evan Marc Katz: Dating coach for smart, strong successful women
With this kind of advice he is women's worst enemy! Big Grin


Why Do Women in Their 30s Not Want to Date Men in Their 40s?

I’m a 42 year old single male who recently left a 5 year relationship for various reasons, but mainly because I wanted kids and she did not. I thought that since I was an attractive, fit, well-educated, financially and emotionally secure guy that I would have no problem finding a woman in her mid 30s to settle down with and start a family. I have tried a combination of online dating, speed dating, professional singles events, volunteering, happy hours etc. and have had very few dates over the past year. I thought that online dating would be great since you are essentially pre-screening people for dates. I have found that I get no responses from any women online and the only women who respond to my ad are usually much older and don’t meet any of my criteria outlined in my profile.

I am told that women want to settle down and have kids, etc., but their actions seem to be to the contrary. At singles events, women come in groups and are reluctant to talk to men. In online situations, women say they want desperately to meet a nice guy like me, but never answer my response to their profile. I am trying to remain positive, but two things are really bothering me. One, that younger women are no longer interested in dating men who are even just slightly (3-5 years) older than them and sometimes want to date men 5-10 years younger then them. Two, women seem to be content in the fact that they are independent and self-sufficient and have a career, family and friends that fulfills them and don’t seem to be interested in truly finding a relationship. I find the latter hard to believe, but find this mantra in every profile of every professional woman online. Any advice on how to navigate these new paradigms in the dating world?

Adam


Dear Adam,

You came to the right place.

And to directly address your email, I have to divide my response into two different parts: 1) What You’re Getting Right and 2) What You’re Missing.

What you’re missing is that what you want has absolutely no relation to what women want.

Let’s start with What You’re Missing. We’ll do What You’re Getting Right next week.

What you’re missing is that what you want has absolutely no relation to what women want. We’ve addressed this before, from an older man who couldn’t possibly fathom why a younger woman wouldn’t want to be with him. This isn’t all that much different. We can complain that the opposite sex is unrealistic and passing up great opportunities – and we’d be right – but it doesn’t change that people want what they want. It’s not fair. It’s not right. It just IS.

From 25-34, men play around a lot. Why? Because they can. They have a lot of dating options, they’re building their careers, and there isn’t a clear urgency to settle down.

Once a guy crosses 35, however, he (theoretically) tends to get more serious.

Alas, the women with whom he wants to get serious are 27-34. This gives men time to court, fall in love, travel together, move in, get engaged, and enjoy a few years of childless marriage before starting a family.

The problem is that many women from 27-34 are independent professionals just like their male peers. They, too, have a lot of dating options, are busy building their careers, and don’t have a clear urgency to settle down.

Then she hits 35. Theoretically, this is when she starts to get more serious. This is also when all the problems start.

…the bigger takeaway is that ALL of us are very judgmental on age.

Because 35-40-year-old men who are ready to settle down still want to have time before becoming dads. Thus, their target market remains women, 27-34 – who may not be ready to settle down quite yet. These women still have money to make, places to travel and oats to sow.

The 35-40-year-old women who ARE ready for marriage, unfortunately, are roundly ignored by the men they desire – their 35-40-year-old peers. These women are youthful and find themselves far more attracted to men in their 30’s than their 40’s.

Which brings us to you, Adam. You say you’re looking for a woman in her mid-30’s. That’s perfectly fair. But if none of them are looking for you, your wheelhouse is going to be women in their late 30’s to early 40’s:

Find the people who want you. It’s the same exact advice I give to women in their early 40’s who want men in their early 40’s…except men in their early 40’s want women in their 30’s.

And around and around we go.

I’m being a bit unfair, Adam, because there IS a market for a 42-year-old man – and you can certainly be doing better than you’re currently doing. Pick up a copy of http://www.findingtheoneonline.com and it should make a difference. Seriously. But the bigger takeaway is that ALL of us are very judgmental on age. To a 34 year old woman, 42 sounds OLD. To a 42-year-old man who wants his own biological children, anything above 36 is getting into risky territory. The lesson to all of you younger readers: take your love life seriously when you turn 30, instead of waiting until you’re 35 or 40.

http://www.evanmarckatz.com/blog/why-do-...eir-40s/2/
03-13-2013 05:48 PM
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Malekhit Offline
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RE: Evan Marc Katz: Dating coach for smart, strong successful women
well good thing that our friend evan didn't say to adam to put some makup and buy new dress !
03-13-2013 05:59 PM
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Timoteo Offline
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RE: Evan Marc Katz: Dating coach for smart, strong successful women
Now, if Adam looked off-shore, he'd find someone. Most guys simply can't/won't make that leap though. That isn't a criticism - most of us, if we want to marry and start a family, will look for that person in the same city we're in. But if you look at how the western woman lives her life and how she thinks, it doesn't add up for men Adam's age anymore.

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03-13-2013 06:15 PM
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Ensam Offline
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RE: Evan Marc Katz: Dating coach for smart, strong successful women
Totally useless advice. He's looking too old. He should be targeting the early to mid 20s chicks who don't want a career and just want to be mothers. They exist and some of them dig older men.
03-13-2013 06:18 PM
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Timoteo Offline
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RE: Evan Marc Katz: Dating coach for smart, strong successful women
(03-13-2013 06:18 PM)Ensam Wrote:  Totally useless advice. He's looking too old. He should be targeting the early to mid 20s chicks who don't want a career and just want to be mothers. They exist and some of them dig older men.

True, but the average 42 year old simply doesn't come in contact with women in their 20s. His circle is generally people around his own age. He doesn't go to bars/clubs. So yeah, you target them online and see who bites.

"The best kind of pride is that which compels a man to do his best when no one is watching."
03-13-2013 06:34 PM
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Basil Ransom Offline
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RE: Evan Marc Katz: Dating coach for smart, strong successful women
I would also try simply lying, and shaving five years or so off your age. In theory you'd tell her eventually, but a coworker of mine said his mother concealed her true age from him and her husband until she was fatally ill - and even then, only because a doctor blurted it out. Plus, a man making that lie is a lot less relevant than a woman, what with 'biological clocks' and all.

It also sounds like Adam is playing 'beta provider game' but the women still want a sexy man.
(This post was last modified: 03-13-2013 08:36 PM by Basil Ransom.)
03-13-2013 08:35 PM
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Private Man Offline
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RE: Evan Marc Katz: Dating coach for smart, strong successful women
(03-13-2013 08:35 PM)basilransom Wrote:  It also sounds like Adam is playing 'beta provider game' but the women still want a sexy man.

I've been following Marc for about two years and have read every blog post and every response he's made to comments. He's Red Pill all the way but his diplomatic language sometimes clouds things. He's running a business and the majority of his clients are blue pill dames over 40.

He tried to start his business by targeting men. It didn't work so well. As he's a capitalist, he naturally went after the paying market and that's careerist dames with spare cash. So, he walks a fine line between dispensing Red Pill advice and still cashing his female client's checks.

His audience is this:

Cat lady

But they have the dough. I give the man respect.

READ MY BLOG, DAMMIT.

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03-13-2013 10:32 PM
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Faust Offline
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RE: Evan Marc Katz: Dating coach for smart, strong successful women
I think Dalrock linked this guy before, or somebody did. He does a good job of telling older women that they're nuts in a polite way. He basically tells them the same things we'd say here, but wrapped in a way that makes women willing to pay money to hear it. Great gig, if you can get it.

Because he's got a business to keep up, he can't tell this guy "You're wasting your time looking for 40 year old skanks." 40 year old skanks are his client base. So what you're seeing here is BS, but if you look at what he tells women, it's pretty reasonable.
03-14-2013 01:20 AM
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Bad Hussar Offline
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RE: Evan Marc Katz: Dating coach for smart, strong successful women
(03-13-2013 10:32 PM)Private Man Wrote:  
(03-13-2013 08:35 PM)basilransom Wrote:  It also sounds like Adam is playing 'beta provider game' but the women still want a sexy man.

I've been following Marc for about two years and have read every blog post and every response he's made to comments. He's Red Pill all the way but his diplomatic language sometimes clouds things. He's running a business and the majority of his clients are blue pill dames over 40.

He tried to start his business by targeting men. It didn't work so well. As he's a capitalist, he naturally went after the paying market and that's careerist dames with spare cash. So, he walks a fine line between dispensing Red Pill advice and still cashing his female client's checks.

His audience is this:

Cat lady

But they have the dough. I give the man respect.

I'll have to take your word hat Katz is "Red Pill". The excerpt above would seem to indicate he is, instead, a mangina of note.

Women 35-40 are at prime child bearing age? Come on. Maybe in their heads, but biological reality doesn't care about what is happening in their heads. It "cares" about what is happening in their ovaries.

I reckon the questioner above (Adam) has his own issues (as we all do) and age isn't the biggest reason women are not interested in him. It's just a handy excuse for his lack of success. Not saying that age is irrelevant, obviously, but older guys are too quick to haul it out as an reason for their own more personal shortcomings.

Established 42 year old guy with early 30's women who wants to have kids soon really shouldn't be an issue. He's over thinking things, or targeting the wrong women for what he wants.
03-14-2013 11:12 AM
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MrXY Offline
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RE: Evan Marc Katz: Dating coach for smart, strong successful women
What a worthless pile of mangina, feminist ass kissing, hamster-enabling drivel

He's telling a 42 year old man who wants a family that he should go after late 30's early 40s? Why, so they can spend tens of thousands of dollars on fertility treatments and then adopt a Chinese orphan?

Quote:Dear Adam,

You came to the right place.

No, Adam you came to a bad place

Quote:What you’re missing is that what you want has absolutely no relation to what women want. We’ve addressed this before, from an older man who couldn’t possibly fathom why a younger woman wouldn’t want to be with him. This isn’t all that much different. We can complain that the opposite sex is unrealistic and passing up great opportunities – and we’d be right – but it doesn’t change that people want what they want. It’s not fair. It’s not right. It just IS.

OK, that's real talk. so far ,so good

Quote:From 25-34, men play around a lot. Why? Because they can. They have a lot of dating options, they’re building their careers, and there isn’t a clear urgency to settle down.

Once a guy crosses 35, however, he (theoretically) tends to get more serious.

In general, true

Quote:Alas, the women with whom he wants to get serious are 27-34. This gives men time to court, fall in love, travel together, move in, get engaged, and enjoy a few years of childless marriage before starting a family.

Not really. If he starts dating a woman who is 30, by the time they date, get married, have 2-3 childless years of marriage, she's going to be 35 when her fertility is going to fall off a cliff. If he dates a 34, she'll be almost 40.But women love to hear that they have plenty of time, although they really don't

Quote:The problem is that many women from 27-34 are independent professionals just like their male peers. They, too, have a lot of dating options, are busy building their careers, and don’t have a clear urgency to settle down.

The delusional ones think this way; the sensible ones start getting quietly desperate around age 30

Quote:Then she hits 35. Theoretically, this is when she starts to get more serious. This is also when all the problems start.

Yes, because she's been tricked by the lies of feminism and the media and panics when reality sets in

Quote:the bigger takeaway is that ALL of us are very judgmental on age.

This guy uses the jargon of cultural marxism to make it sound as if making rational decisions based on biological realities is a bad thing. Which, of course, to deluded women, it is.

Quote:Because 35-40-year-old men who are ready to settle down still want to have time before becoming dads. Thus, their target market remains women, 27-34 – who may not be ready to settle down quite yet. These women still have money to make, places to travel and oats to sow.

Plenty of women that age do want to get married and have children. the ones who think they can keep putting it off for years are making a grave mistake. Why is he telling this 42 year old guy not to pursue women in that age group? More destructive advice.

Quote:The 35-40-year-old women who ARE ready for marriage, unfortunately, are roundly ignored by the men they desire – their 35-40-year-old peers.

Of course any quality man with options in the mating markets isn't interested in these women-they are hitting the attractiveness wall and are well past their prime fertility years.

Quote:These women are youthful and find themselves far more attracted to men in their 30’s than their 40’s.

Youthful? This guy has to know he's bullshitting

Quote:Which brings us to you, Adam. You say you’re looking for a woman in her mid-30’s. That’s perfectly fair. But if none of them are looking for you, your wheelhouse is going to be women in their late 30’s to early 40’s:

So he's telling a 42 year old man who wants marriage and a family that a mid 30's woman is out of his league and he should go for late 30's to early 40s? Disgusting.

Quote:Find the people who want you.

No- improve yourself to get the women you want

Quote: It’s the same exact advice I give to women in their early 40’s who want men in their early 40’s…except men in their early 40’s want women in their 30’s.

That this guy would give the same dating advice to men that he would give to women tells you a lot-that his advice to men at least is worse than worthless-it s positively harmful as it is to the guy in this case

Quote: To a 34 year old woman, 42 sounds OLD.

A ridiculous overgeneralization that is unnecessarily discouraging.

Quote:To a 42-year-old man who wants his own biological children, anything above 36 is getting into risky territory. The lesson to all of you younger readers: take your love life seriously when you turn 30, instead of waiting until you’re 35 or 40.

And he ends this parade of bad advice with some real talk.

What the one thing this sellout doesn't say? That when the writer describes himself as a nice guy that could be the root of the problem. He goes on and on about the guys age when he real problem is that he has no game. If the guy learned how to deal with women he could get the early to mid 30s wife he wanted. But I suppose you can't talk about that when your target market is deluded middle aged broads

I have no respect for this guy. None

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03-14-2013 12:33 PM
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speakeasy Offline
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RE: Evan Marc Katz: Dating coach for smart, strong successful women
This dude could head down to Colombia or Thailand and find a family oriented girl in her mid 20s that would be way more attractive than anything he could get here.

A buddy of mine that is 37 just moved to Mexico City to be with this thin 24 year old sweetheart of a girl. He'll probably end up marrying her. She's far beyond anything he could've gotten here.

Dudes like the guy in the story forgot that an entire world exists outside of our borders. These hyper choosy career cunts aren't the only option out there.
03-14-2013 01:22 PM
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Handsome Creepy Eel Offline
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RE: Evan Marc Katz: Dating coach for smart, strong successful women
Quote:I've been following Marc for about two years and have read every blog post and every response he's made to comments. He's Red Pill all the way but his diplomatic language sometimes clouds things. He's running a business and the majority of his clients are blue pill dames over 40.

Agree 100%

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03-14-2013 02:50 PM
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Menace Offline
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RE: Evan Marc Katz: Dating coach for smart, strong successful women
EMK is talking his book, which is fair enough. Guys coming to him for advice need to realize that, however.
03-14-2013 03:02 PM
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Menace Offline
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RE: Evan Marc Katz: Dating coach for smart, strong successful women
(03-14-2013 01:22 PM)speakeasy Wrote:  This dude could head down to Colombia or Thailand and find a family oriented girl in her mid 20s that would be way more attractive than anything he could get here.

A buddy of mine that is 37 just moved to Mexico City to be with this thin 24 year old sweetheart of a girl. He'll probably end up marrying her. She's far beyond anything he could've gotten here.

Dudes like the guy in the story forgot that an entire world exists outside of our borders. These hyper choosy career cunts aren't the only option out there.

You know Mexican girls (not Mestizos) are a great alternative to SEA/EE girls because:

a) their home country (and hence family) is so close
b) most major US cities have Latin communities
c) there won't be a big culture shock.

I think these three factors plus solid game can prevent her sliding into Western feministic thinking and maintain her appeal for a long time.
(This post was last modified: 03-14-2013 03:05 PM by Menace.)
03-14-2013 03:05 PM
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bacon Offline
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RE: Evan Marc Katz: Dating coach for smart, strong successful women
(03-14-2013 03:05 PM)Menace Wrote:  You know Mexican girls (not Mestizos) are a great alternative to SEA/EE girls because:

i live in mexico dude some of the hottest girls are mesitzas.

Wtf

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(This post was last modified: 03-14-2013 04:16 PM by bacon.)
03-14-2013 04:16 PM
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RE: Evan Marc Katz: Dating coach for smart, strong successful women
I second the Mexican girl thing. Lived in Mexico for 2 years. Some of the hottest/nicest women around. Now living in Korea. Same thing. Once you leave your bubble of comfort, you realize women can actually be enjoyable. Even outside of them.
03-14-2013 09:30 PM
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