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The "What should I text next?" thread (for when you get stuck)
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Ringo Offline
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Post: #3151
RE: The "What should I text next?" thread (for when you get stuck)
(10-18-2017 09:49 AM)Boojeah Wrote:  I think you blew it with the date suggestion. How old is this girl? Food, wine and a movie sound too formal and structured for any girl in their early 20s. Going to scare them off.

I understand you're thinking on the double text but it comes off as a bit desperate/needy.

I avoid telling them what we're going to be doing if possible. I also think saying we "could hang out" is a bit weak. either say "Lets hang out" or ask her "Do you want to hang out."

Instead of giving her full disclosure on the date details, i'd just say:

Her: Maybeee, what were you thinking?
Me: This and that. Meet me at X bar/cafe at 8:30

I agree that the date suggestion wasn't good.

But I disagree with:

- "Double text comes off a bit desperate".
Usually I'd avoid it too, but in this case I think double texting would have been okay. The problem is that his double text was weak too!

I think he could have saved it by going:
"You know what, that sounds boring. Let's beat the lil kids at Dave & Busters/[suggestions from post above]"

- "Avoiding telling them what the date will be".
In my experience, if the girl is really into you that's fine - almost anything is fine, really. But young girls become suspicious when I don't tell them what we're doing. Hence why I try to pick relatively harmless activities that are still edgy or unique enough to get them interested.

Get inspired. www.refinedsauvagerie.tumblr.com ||| Datasheets. São Paulo, BR | Diamantina, BR | Osijek, HR
(This post was last modified: 10-18-2017 10:04 AM by Ringo.)
10-18-2017 10:03 AM
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Ringo Offline
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Post: #3152
RE: The "What should I text next?" thread (for when you get stuck)
(10-18-2017 09:59 AM)Boojeah Wrote:  Met an elusive and rare fat assed Chinese girl at my gym, probably an 8. Number closed after 10 or so mins of conversation. What would you guys say to this?

Me: Hey (her) it's Boojeah
Her: Hey Boojeah !
Me: How are you
Her: I'm good, haha how are you?
Me: Good good. Do you want to hang out later this week?
Her: haha depends on what you mean by hanging out
Me: _________

Was thinking of going with something roissy-esque and saying:
Me: Little spoons don't ask big questions

Anyone have a good go-to for this one?
Definitely don't text that.

From what you wrote I doubt you have enough rapport with her to drop that line and leave unscathed.

Plus - you'll probably bump into her at the gym again. Don't be the awkward texting alpha that goes zero to 100 out of the blue.

What she needs is comfort + excitement. She seems keen on hanging out but she doesn't know what that entails.

You could use any of the activities from the post above:
- Wanna come with me try the best chocolate cake/ice cream in the world? #cheatday

- I have a new camera, thought of going out to test it. Wanna join?? Coffee's on me

- There's this new rock climbing place I wanna check out, wanna join?

Get inspired. www.refinedsauvagerie.tumblr.com ||| Datasheets. São Paulo, BR | Diamantina, BR | Osijek, HR
10-18-2017 10:13 AM
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Boojeah
Boojeah Offline
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Post: #3153
RE: The "What should I text next?" thread (for when you get stuck)
Quote:Definitely don't text that.

From what you wrote I doubt you have enough rapport with her to drop that line and leave unscathed.

Plus - you'll probably bump into her at the gym again. Don't be the awkward texting alpha that goes zero to 100 out of the blue.
What she needs is comfort + excitement. She seems keen on hanging out but she doesn't know what that entails.

You could use any of the activities from the post above:
- Wanna come with me try the best chocolate cake/ice cream in the world? #cheatday

- I have a new camera, thought of going out to test it. Wanna join?? Coffee's on me

- There's this new rock climbing place I wanna check out, wanna join?

Great suggestion. You're definitely right. Overgaming I suppose on my part. Comfort is a weakness of mine. Been burned being too nice in my blue pill days and im still trying to find a good balance
(This post was last modified: 10-18-2017 11:25 AM by Boojeah.)
10-18-2017 11:24 AM
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bigolteddies Offline
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Post: #3154
RE: The "What should I text next?" thread (for when you get stuck)
(10-18-2017 09:53 AM)Ringo Wrote:  In this case - no laughter, no playing along, no humor, no challenge -, I wouldn't have gone straight to asking her out. When you are in the initial stages of going out or texting with a girl, being (tastefully) playful and tongue in cheek is great.

Me: Can you do this? (gif)
Her: No can you?
Me: I don't think we can get married anymore/You just broke my heart. [If she doesn't reply to this she's not interested]
or
Me: Hell yeah. I can teach you. But it will cost you something... [bait to ask her out as long as she brings a six-pack or buys the first round]
or
Me: Me neither, it's against my religion, I'm only allowed hard drugs *devil emoji*

From there - game on.

The idea is to tease them or get them in good spirits before asking them out. Maybe it takes you one message; maybe it takes five. But if she's feeling good she's more likely to accept than if she's depressed, worried, stressed out, etc.

It's like that sales technique - get them saying "yes". It's easier to carry on with the momentum for the close.

I get the sense girl #2 was put off by your proposition. You're right - if she was really interested she would have made it work.

Also, no offense but your date idea sounds boring. Would she have said the same if you asked her out to...

- Try the "best chocolate cake in the world"?
- Play pool - loser pays for drinks?
- Photography date? (just an example - I have a DSLR and take pics, girls love using it or posing out in the street)

She gave you the "maybe" to have plausible deniability in case she wasn't feeling it.

Yep you're absolutely right. I asked right away because I didn't want to waste time trying to joke around anymore because she might've stopped responding. My texting game isn't very good but since i'd met her before and am funny in person I didn't think it was needed.

For the date idea the first one did sound kinda boring. That's why after a bit for the second text I said or we could go to the barcade, an arcade bar, which actually sounds really fun. Again this is the same girl that I met for drinks and took her back to my place and fingered within two hours, so I thought it'd be pretty obvious that any date is just for sex.
But oh well, i've still got a pretty much guaranteed bang on Thursday. If she doesn't text me in a week or two i'll try one more time then delete the number.
10-18-2017 12:03 PM
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goodington Offline
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Post: #3155
RE: The "What should I text next?" thread (for when you get stuck)
Instagram DM Slide Help Needed!

Her: 22 y/o petite Vietnamese girl with blond hair, looks like a bit of a party girl but also has shots of family, food, normal insta stuff
Me: 37 y/o guy with a profile that indicates I'm sophisticated but also like to party

My instantical service followed her, she followed back so I DM'ed her. I'm clueless when it comes to this type of approach, what do I say???

Me: I don't normally do the DM slide, but you're just too adorable I couldn't help myself
Her: Thank you! You're too sweet Smile
10-19-2017 02:32 PM
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little wing Offline
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Post: #3156
RE: The "What should I text next?" thread (for when you get stuck)
(10-19-2017 02:32 PM)goodington Wrote:  Instagram DM Slide Help Needed!

Her: 22 y/o petite Vietnamese girl with blond hair, looks like a bit of a party girl but also has shots of family, food, normal insta stuff
Me: 37 y/o guy with a profile that indicates I'm sophisticated but also like to party

My instantical service followed her, she followed back so I DM'ed her. I'm clueless when it comes to this type of approach, what do I say???

Me: I don't normally do the DM slide, but you're just too adorable I couldn't help myself
Her: Thank you! You're too sweet Smile

"You're very much welcome. When do we grab some coffee?"

per aspera ad astra
10-19-2017 05:47 PM
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corsega Offline
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Post: #3157
RE: The "What should I text next?" thread (for when you get stuck)
What do you do in a situation where a girl flakes on the day of a first date, excuse seems fairly believable, but doesn't go out of her way to say sorry or suggest alternative date/time?
[Image: uRmQc6i.png]

Options I can think of:
1. Suggest rescheduling right away.
2. Put her on ice and reach back out in 1-2 days with value-giving text to see if she bites, then reschedule.
3. Wait a couple of hours, or until the next day and say something like "No worries, I'll get back in touch after the weekend and we can find a better day".
4. Something else?
(This post was last modified: Yesterday 12:16 AM by corsega.)
Yesterday 12:16 AM
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goodington Offline
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Post: #3158
RE: The "What should I text next?" thread (for when you get stuck)
(10-19-2017 05:47 PM)little wing Wrote:  
(10-19-2017 02:32 PM)goodington Wrote:  Instagram DM Slide Help Needed!

Her: 22 y/o petite Vietnamese girl with blond hair, looks like a bit of a party girl but also has shots of family, food, normal insta stuff
Me: 37 y/o guy with a profile that indicates I'm sophisticated but also like to party

My instantical service followed her, she followed back so I DM'ed her. I'm clueless when it comes to this type of approach, what do I say???

Me: I don't normally do the DM slide, but you're just too adorable I couldn't help myself
Her: Thank you! You're too sweet Smile


"You're very much welcome. When do we grab some coffee?"

Coffee? That sounds lame, IMHO.
Yesterday 09:42 AM
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Baphomet Offline
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Posts: 318
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Post: #3159
RE: The "What should I text next?" thread (for when you get stuck)
(10-19-2017 02:32 PM)goodington Wrote:  Instagram DM Slide Help Needed!

Her: 22 y/o petite Vietnamese girl with blond hair, looks like a bit of a party girl but also has shots of family, food, normal insta stuff
Me: 37 y/o guy with a profile that indicates I'm sophisticated but also like to party

My instantical service followed her, she followed back so I DM'ed her. I'm clueless when it comes to this type of approach, what do I say???

Me: I don't normally do the DM slide, but you're just too adorable I couldn't help myself
Her: Thank you! You're too sweet Smile

You opened with how "adorable" she is?

I'd suggest not doing that in the future. Feeding their inner attention whore places you in the same category (in her mind) as every other beta who tells her how pretty she is.
Yesterday 10:39 AM
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Baphomet Offline
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Post: #3160
RE: The "What should I text next?" thread (for when you get stuck)
(Yesterday 12:16 AM)corsega Wrote:  What do you do in a situation where a girl flakes on the day of a first date, excuse seems fairly believable, but doesn't go out of her way to say sorry or suggest alternative date/time?
[Image: uRmQc6i.png]

Options I can think of:
1. Suggest rescheduling right away.
2. Put her on ice and reach back out in 1-2 days with value-giving text to see if she bites, then reschedule.
3. Wait a couple of hours, or until the next day and say something like "No worries, I'll get back in touch after the weekend and we can find a better day".
4. Something else?

3. But keep it short. "Work happens. Next week, maybe."
Yesterday 10:52 AM
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