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The "What should I text next?" thread (for when you get stuck)
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tomzestatlu Offline
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Post: #3626
RE: The "What should I text next?" thread (for when you get stuck)
Had second date on Wednesday. We were together in wellness sauna (she invited me to join her). I took her home by car and suggested we should go to her place together (haven´t banged yet). She said she thinks it´s too late and we both wake up early and that we can meet on weekend and we will have enough time for everything. (before, she was offered to join me to one event on Saturday, but she had arranged meeting with her friend and said me she will figure out if they can meet any other time and go with me,.. claiming she will let me know until friday)

Saturday evening me: Hi, how do you enjoy your evening? I´m just currently at the after party and will stay here some more time. What about meeting later this night and doing after party together?
Her: Hi Tom, sorry for not letting you know. 15 minutes ago I just got home from work I need to test some system, so it would be ready on Monday... I am not sure, if I will be free during this weekend.



What next?

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12-03-2018 06:27 AM
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asianirish1 Offline
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Post: #3627
RE: The "What should I text next?" thread (for when you get stuck)
If you haven't replied yet you've done well.

Ask did it all go well, And within the same text ask her out for a date at a specific time. If you like her, Open end the time to guage a response. If she doesn't bite, Atleast you know.
12-03-2018 07:30 AM
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tomzestatlu Offline
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Post: #3628
RE: The "What should I text next?" thread (for when you get stuck)
Well actually I did. I had few beers and even though I knew its bad move, I wrote her two word answer saying something like "have a patience".

I will call her tomorrow or maybe better the day after tomorrow. I will not suggest any specific time, because that could make me needy, if she really didn't have time. I like her a lot. I am used to not give a fuck about girls, but this one is really high quality. If I try enough, I usually spoil it.

"Love your life, perfect your life, beautify all things in your life. Seek to make your life long and its purpose in the service of your people."
(This post was last modified: 12-03-2018 08:38 AM by tomzestatlu.)
12-03-2018 08:36 AM
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Snag87 Offline
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Post: #3629
RE: The "What should I text next?" thread (for when you get stuck)
Her: How’s your day?

Me: Great! Just finished skating, how about yourself?

Her: Ice skating? It’s alright I’m at work ??

Me: Of course! Sounds boring... Do you have anything exciting planned for this week?

Her: Lol well where I work there never seems to be a dull moment BUT I’d still rather be home haha. Saturday I believe I’m working. I have to put some Christmas gifts together for coworkers and get some homework done. Hbu?

Me: Playing to sample out light brewing company. You're welcome to come as long as you promise to look as cute in person

Her: When are you doing that?

Me: Thursday

Last text was Monday and no reply. Initiate again? Communion medium was Tinder if it matters
(This post was last modified: 12-05-2018 10:10 PM by Snag87.)
12-05-2018 10:09 PM
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Anchor Man Offline
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Post: #3630
RE: The "What should I text next?" thread (for when you get stuck)
Re-initiate but Friday morning.
Your text game needs some help though .
1-Don't compliment about her physical appearance
2- It is recommended you don't start the compliments . If she started, then you do it.

I would it differently though. I like Krauseer style , very dominant .

I would say :
- I am going to XYZ at ABC time . Let's go together
or
I would say
Btw, We ( I and You ) are going to XYZ at ABC time. ( Very dominant, confident , you are assuming she is coming, you are not asking her to join.)
12-05-2018 11:15 PM
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Anchor Man Offline
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Post: #3631
RE: The "What should I text next?" thread (for when you get stuck)
(12-03-2018 08:36 AM)tomzestatlu Wrote:  Well actually I did. I had few beers and even though I knew its bad move, I wrote her two word answer saying something like "have a patience".

I will call her tomorrow or maybe better the day after tomorrow. I will not suggest any specific time, because that could make me needy, if she really didn't have time. I like her a lot. I am used to not give a fuck about girls, but this one is really high quality. If I try enough, I usually spoil it.

Not really, Suggesting a certain time means you have busy schedule and this is the only time you are free.
If she isn't available at the time you suggest, she either will counter-offer(HI)
or she won't counter offer .
If she didn't counter offer, you go>>> no reply >> then re-initiate
(This post was last modified: 12-05-2018 11:24 PM by Anchor Man.)
12-05-2018 11:19 PM
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Snag87 Offline
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Post: #3632
RE: The "What should I text next?" thread (for when you get stuck)
Sounds good. What's the theory behind not complimenting women?
12-06-2018 12:23 AM
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Snag87 Offline
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Post: #3633
RE: The "What should I text next?" thread (for when you get stuck)
Me:How do drugs feel? I've never done anything other than edibles

Her: Amazing
And then fucking terrible
But so amazing that it’s sickeningly worth it
Until it’s not Smile
Haha

Me: Lol you're supposed to tell me not to do them firmly you monster. That was very ambiguous... I'm intrigued

Her: Hahaha

Me: Gonna be in Chicago like:
(I send link to Wolf of Wall Street scene in which Donnie and Jordan Belfort smoke crack)

Her: Lmaoooooo! Yup
I never smoked crack but judging by the insane amounts of cocaine I used to do I can only imagine how fucking nuts it is
Hahaha

Me:You dropping hints? ?

Her: Yep
Fuck it [my name]
Let's abandon our responsibilities and become crackheads
?
Hahaha

Me:Functioning crackheads we won't abandon our responsibilities

Have you seen jungle fever?

Her:Nope

Me:Well thr plot is a black man has an affair with a white women in early 90s NYC... But a side story is his crack addicted brother and girlfriend. Theoretically we could play out all aspects of the plot

Her:Haha nice. Let's do it! What could go wrong?

Me:You come here then I'll fly back to Chicago.

Her:Sounds good


Me: Check out flights I've seen as low as $55


Last text sent 4 days ago and no response. How to proceed?
12-06-2018 04:27 PM
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coffeedrinker Offline
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Post: #3634
RE: The "What should I text next?" thread (for when you get stuck)
Girl I managed to have sex with on first date.

I left a voicemail to call me back, she called back and I organised to go bowling (quick convo).

Day after: I confirm time bowling is booked and she says cool

Next day:
Her: "hey I'm really sick today, if I'm not better tomorrow I don't think I'll be able to come Sad "
Me: That sucks, hope you feel better soon Smile
Me: I can't cancel so let me know how you feel tomorrow and if not we will reschedule

Next day:
Her: sorry I'm not feeling any better today
1h15 mins later:
Her: I wouldn't mind postponing but next week is a week of exams for me so I'll be super busy.


Given that she double texted me an hour between texts. I think she is still interested. BUT things get super complicated. Next week is final University week before 4 weeks of Christmas holidays then 3 weeks of exams. I'm 99% sure she is going to go back to her home country for Christmas so next week is last time I can see her again for a while. She is doing a weird course so has exams next week as well as per her text.

I don't really know what to do because as much as I don't want oneitis, I genuinely think it will be healthy for me to have a gf for once even if its for a few months and of all dates I've been to recently, her personality clicks with mine best. I also think that if I don't see her at least a 2nd time before we break up for Christmas, it wouldn't work after 7 weeks anyway, so I may as well go bold.

Because of complexity, I decided to call her in the evening as I cba going backwards and forwards over text to get info but she did not answer. No voicemail as used whatsapp to call.

Any advice on what to text / do next?
12-06-2018 05:12 PM
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kaotic Offline
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Post: #3635
RE: The "What should I text next?" thread (for when you get stuck)
^^^

You definitely have oneitis all because you banged a girl on the first date.

You're already having visions about having a GF when you barely know this girl yet.

She might be a cool girl but you need slow down.

She's giving you counter offer but she's also giving you excuses (valid ones or not).

You gave her a call she didn't answer, what you should of done right after is say, "hey give me a call back when you have the chance"

Then talk it out and clear things up and figure out what time she's got free next week and then plan some time to meet her.

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12-06-2018 05:47 PM
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AneroidOcean Offline
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Post: #3636
RE: The "What should I text next?" thread (for when you get stuck)
(12-06-2018 05:12 PM)coffeedrinker Wrote:  Girl I managed to have sex with on first date.

I left a voicemail to call me back, she called back and I organised to go bowling (quick convo).

What in the fuck? I understand you may be young, but having sex on the first date and then asking her to go bowling is a crap idea. That's going backwards. You should be setting up to hang out and share a bottle of wine while watching a movie at your place, not going out bowling

My comments in bold below:

(12-06-2018 05:12 PM)coffeedrinker Wrote:  Day after: I confirm time bowling is booked and she says cool

Next day:
Her: "hey I'm really sick today, if I'm not better tomorrow I don't think I'll be able to come Sad "
This was her realizing how boring bowling sounds and flaking on you.
Me: That sucks, hope you feel better soon Smile
Me: I can't cancel so let me know how you feel tomorrow and if not we will reschedule
This is you not realizing she's flaking on your boring date

Next day:
Her: sorry I'm not feeling any better today
1h15 mins later:
Her: I wouldn't mind postponing but next week is a week of exams for me so I'll be super busy.
You may have a chance here, but it's likely she just feels guilty about her canceling on you when you can't change the plans.


Given that she double texted me an hour between texts. I think she is still interested. BUT things get super complicated. Next week is final University week before 4 weeks of Christmas holidays then 3 weeks of exams. I'm 99% sure she is going to go back to her home country for Christmas so next week is last time I can see her again for a while. She is doing a weird course so has exams next week as well as per her text.

I don't really know what to do because as much as I don't want oneitis, I genuinely think it will be healthy for me to have a gf for once even if its for a few months and of all dates I've been to recently, her personality clicks with mine best. I also think that if I don't see her at least a 2nd time before we break up for Christmas, it wouldn't work after 7 weeks anyway, so I may as well go bold.

Because of complexity, I decided to call her in the evening as I cba going backwards and forwards over text to get info but she did not answer. No voicemail as used whatsapp to call.

Any advice on what to text / do next?

I think this one is probably dead in the water, but if you're going to do anything it would be to offer to share a bottle of wine or liquor or whatnot with her right after her exams (to celebrate her being done with the exams). Easy, low investment.

You had sex with her but I don't see any teasing or flirting in your texts, gotta keep them on their toes.

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12-06-2018 06:01 PM
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coffeedrinker Offline
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Post: #3637
RE: The "What should I text next?" thread (for when you get stuck)
(12-06-2018 05:47 PM)kaotic Wrote:  ^^^

You definitely have oneitis all because you banged a girl on the first date.

You're already having visions about having a GF when you barely know this girl yet.

She might be a cool girl but you need slow down.

She's giving you counter offer but she's also giving you excuses (valid ones or not).

You gave her a call she didn't answer, what you should of done right after is say, "hey give me a call back when you have the chance"

Then talk it out and clear things up and figure out what time she's got free next week and then plan some time to meet her.


I know my post makes it seem like otherwise, but I wasn't very clear. I do want a relationship before I graduate this year, as I will be doing a lot of travelling after and I want to get some experience both in regards to performance in bed and in relationships. Given that's my aim, I may as well try to find someone as compatible as possible and out of my current leads, she's someone I can see getting myself along with.

I'm still doing my best to approach other girls etc and straight after I called her, I called another girl to set a 3rd date.

What do you think I should do now to maximise my chances of getting a 2nd date and then seeing how it goes from there? I missed the chance to msg her straight away as you suggested. My plan was to text her tomorrow:
"It's so frustrating to be ill when you have exams"
"Give me a call when you get a chance"


(12-06-2018 06:01 PM)AneroidOcean Wrote:  
(12-06-2018 05:12 PM)coffeedrinker Wrote:  Girl I managed to have sex with on first date.

I left a voicemail to call me back, she called back and I organised to go bowling (quick convo).

What in the fuck? I understand you may be young, but having sex on the first date and then asking her to go bowling is a crap idea. That's going backwards. You should be setting up to hang out and share a bottle of wine while watching a movie at your place, not going out bowling

My comments in bold below:

(12-06-2018 05:12 PM)coffeedrinker Wrote:  Day after: I confirm time bowling is booked and she says cool

Next day:
Her: "hey I'm really sick today, if I'm not better tomorrow I don't think I'll be able to come Sad "
This was her realizing how boring bowling sounds and flaking on you.
Me: That sucks, hope you feel better soon Smile
Me: I can't cancel so let me know how you feel tomorrow and if not we will reschedule
This is you not realizing she's flaking on your boring date

Next day:
Her: sorry I'm not feeling any better today
1h15 mins later:
Her: I wouldn't mind postponing but next week is a week of exams for me so I'll be super busy.
You may have a chance here, but it's likely she just feels guilty about her canceling on you when you can't change the plans.


Given that she double texted me an hour between texts. I think she is still interested. BUT things get super complicated. Next week is final University week before 4 weeks of Christmas holidays then 3 weeks of exams. I'm 99% sure she is going to go back to her home country for Christmas so next week is last time I can see her again for a while. She is doing a weird course so has exams next week as well as per her text.

I don't really know what to do because as much as I don't want oneitis, I genuinely think it will be healthy for me to have a gf for once even if its for a few months and of all dates I've been to recently, her personality clicks with mine best. I also think that if I don't see her at least a 2nd time before we break up for Christmas, it wouldn't work after 7 weeks anyway, so I may as well go bold.

Because of complexity, I decided to call her in the evening as I cba going backwards and forwards over text to get info but she did not answer. No voicemail as used whatsapp to call.

Any advice on what to text / do next?

I think this one is probably dead in the water, but if you're going to do anything it would be to offer to share a bottle of wine or liquor or whatnot with her right after her exams (to celebrate her being done with the exams). Easy, low investment.

You had sex with her but I don't see any teasing or flirting in your texts, gotta keep them on their toes.

I'll be honest, I'm lost here. I feel like I get conflicted advice from different sources and I don't really know what to do.
I understand different people have different ways of dealing with situations but I seem to always do it "wrong".

Keep to logistics only while texting vs flirt/tease.

Sexualise texts (Don't bore her) vs Don't sexualise too early (scare off)

Suggest dates that directly imply sex (movie night with wine) vs dates where it's not just an invite to bang.

I dno, even if she agrees to come straight for wine and movie. How many times do I ask to do same thing? What are interesting dates?

Sorry for being such an idiot but these things just haven't clicked in me yet and I don't know how to deal with it.
(This post was last modified: 12-06-2018 06:43 PM by coffeedrinker.)
12-06-2018 06:17 PM
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kaotic Offline
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Post: #3638
RE: The "What should I text next?" thread (for when you get stuck)
(12-06-2018 06:17 PM)coffeedrinker Wrote:  I'll be honest, I'm lost here. I feel like I get conflicted advice from different sources and I don't really know what to do.
I understand different people have different ways of dealing with situations but I seem to always do it "wrong".

Quote:Keep to logistics only while texting vs flirt/tease.

Texting a girl too much give a needy vibe, and shows you have no life, and that you wait on her every text.

Quote:Sexualise texts (Don't bore her) vs Don't sexualise too early (scare off)

You've already fucked her, so you CAN sexualize the texts (in a funny light hearted way).

Quote:Suggest dates that directly imply sex (movie night with wine) vs dates where it's not just an invite to bang.

Who says you can't do both? Go out for a drink do something fun, and end the night at your place with a bottle of win.

Quote:I dno, even if she agrees to come straight for wine and movie. How many times do I ask to do same thing? What are interesting dates?

As long as you build interest and as long as she shows interest.

They key is BUILDING interest, with funny playful texts, even teasing lightly teasing, her all moving the goal posts to the next date you guys have.

Bowling honestly is kind of boring, it can be made fun, if you hype it up, all you did was ask her to bowl.

She wants to be entertained she wants to have fun with you, you can do a shitload of stuff other than bowling that's interactive.

Quote:Sorry for being such an idiot but these things just haven't clicked in me yet and I don't know how to deal with it.

There's not need to apologize you seeked out help in the right place.

Aneroid is right and dropped some really good advice for you.

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12-06-2018 08:29 PM
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Post: #3639
RE: The "What should I text next?" thread (for when you get stuck)
(12-06-2018 08:29 PM)kaotic Wrote:  Texting a girl too much give a needy vibe, and shows you have no life, and that you wait on her every text.
Understand.
Quote:You've already fucked her, so you CAN sexualize the texts (in a funny light hearted way)
I'm really shit at this, is there a guide or some examples I can get an idea for?

Quote:Who says you can't do both? Go out for a drink do something fun, and end the night at your place with a bottle of win. As long as you build interest and as long as she shows interest.

They key is BUILDING interest, with funny playful texts, even teasing lightly teasing, her all moving the goal posts to the next date you guys have.

Bowling honestly is kind of boring, it can be made fun, if you hype it up, all you did was ask her to bowl.

She wants to be entertained she wants to have fun with you, you can do a shitload of stuff other than bowling that's interactive.

On the phone I made it seem like a competition and loser would have a forfeit. My plan was to then drive to a local secluded scenery spot and escalate car sex. Then to bring her back to mine and do it again.

I went bowling with a friend instead and 1 game for 2 people took 15 mins. I agree it may not be the most interesting thing but its quick, light competition and avoids the 'He just wants me sex' feeling in my opinion.

I'm probably wrong but I have this feeling that inviting someone for drinks (which what first date was) over and over, even if it's at different bars/ at home is more repetitive and boring but I guess I'll give it a try as my way has obv not worked well in multiple cases.
12-07-2018 03:03 AM
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Moma Offline
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Post: #3640
RE: The "What should I text next?" thread (for when you get stuck)
Met lizard in clothing store, she measured me up, felt that she could be flirting with me but possibly for a sale. She gave me her cell number, texted her a week later with a 'Hi, it's Moma' and a reminder as to who I am.
She responded back with a 'Good afternoon' and a sun emoji.
I responded back with a 'Good afternoon to you too'. No response since then.
How should I reopen or proceed?

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12-07-2018 03:14 AM
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LeBaron Offline
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Post: #3641
RE: The "What should I text next?" thread (for when you get stuck)
(12-07-2018 03:14 AM)Moma Wrote:  Met lizard in clothing store, she measured me up, felt that she could be flirting with me but possibly for a sale. She gave me her cell number, texted her a week later with a 'Hi, it's Moma' and a reminder as to who I am.
She responded back with a 'Good afternoon' and a sun emoji.
I responded back with a 'Good afternoon to you too'. No response since then.
How should I reopen or proceed?

Just ask her out for a drink
12-07-2018 07:47 AM
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coffeedrinker Offline
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Post: #3642
RE: The "What should I text next?" thread (for when you get stuck)
(12-06-2018 05:12 PM)coffeedrinker Wrote:  Girl I managed to have sex with on first date.

I left a voicemail to call me back, she called back and I organised to go bowling (quick convo).

Day after: I confirm time bowling is booked and she says cool

Next day:
Her: "hey I'm really sick today, if I'm not better tomorrow I don't think I'll be able to come Sad "
Me: That sucks, hope you feel better soon Smile
Me: I can't cancel so let me know how you feel tomorrow and if not we will reschedule

Next day:
Her: sorry I'm not feeling any better today
1h15 mins later:
Her: I wouldn't mind postponing but next week is a week of exams for me so I'll be super busy.

Update: I think my logic fucked up again. Didn't want to directly ask her out again to not seem needy but given she did counter offer, I now feel like I should have been direct.

Me: Exams on the last week? Going to be a wild celebration afterwards
Her: Yeah my friend is throwing this huge party, will be great fun
Her: and you what are your plans for the end of the semester? Going back to >Country<? (She wrongly assumed I don't live in the UK)

My plan was to suggest to celebrate at mine with wine as aneroid suggested but now... She's most likely leaving the country for Christmas holidays soon after that party as well so not sure whats best to do here?
(This post was last modified: 12-07-2018 12:39 PM by coffeedrinker.)
12-07-2018 12:35 PM
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tomzestatlu Offline
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Post: #3643
RE: The "What should I text next?" thread (for when you get stuck)
Update about a 10 I wrote about last week (I can't quote on mobile)
I did call her on Tuesday with no answer. Then sent her sms next day saying I feel like doing something and two times when I'm free. She didn't respond, so I closed this.
Today she wrote me:"Sorry I am extremely busy. I gotta finish that project in two weeks and I promised a lot of friends to see them before Christmas. I need to clone myself or cut for more pieces."

Any further steps? Nexting in not an option at this girl.

"Love your life, perfect your life, beautify all things in your life. Seek to make your life long and its purpose in the service of your people."
(This post was last modified: 12-07-2018 12:38 PM by tomzestatlu.)
12-07-2018 12:37 PM
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Goldin Boy Offline
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Post: #3644
RE: The "What should I text next?" thread (for when you get stuck)
Bolded are my suggestions

(12-05-2018 10:09 PM)Snag87 Wrote:  Her: How’s your day?

Me: Great just finished skating (just altered punctuation)

Her: Ice skating? It’s alright I’m at work ??

Me: Yeah gonna take the gold at the 2022 Winter Games.

Me: " at work??" Don't you know where you are? Were you kidnapped...i don't know you well enough to pay the ransom, (usually I hate double-texting but I couldn't miss a chance to imply she's somewhat lower value...i.e. I'm going to pay to free her from her "kidnappers")

Her: Lol well where I work there never seems to be a dull moment BUT I’d still rather be home haha. Saturday I believe I’m working. I have to put some Christmas gifts together for coworkers and get some homework done. Hbu?

Me: Playing to sample out light brewing company. You can tag along but if you get drunk and act up I'm pretending I don't know you. (Implies I do fun stuff, it's not date since I was going regardless, and it's invitation for her join my awesome life Also you've set-up the next hang out while framing her as being potentially embarrassing/social awkward.).

Her: When are you doing that?

Me: Thursday

Last text was Monday and no reply. Initiate again? Communion medium was Tinder if it matters

Needed more teasing/playfullness. Go to Chateau Heartiste, read all the text game posts and the Crib Sheet of Game(got tons of good one liners).

Personally I wouldn't restart.

(08-18-2016 12:05 PM)dicknixon72 Wrote:  ...and nothing quite surprises me anymore. If I looked out my showroom window and saw a fully-nude woman force-fucking an alligator with a strap-on while snorting xanex on the roof of her rental car with her three children locked inside with the windows rolled up, I wouldn't be entirely amazed.
(This post was last modified: Yesterday 10:44 AM by Goldin Boy.)
Yesterday 10:32 AM
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chvrches Offline
Game Denialist

Posts: 53
Joined: Feb 2018
Reputation: 0
Post: #3645
RE: The "What should I text next?" thread (for when you get stuck)
Text game gods please help me with this within 12 hours as i will be replying to this girl again tomorrow when i wake up.

I texted this girl i met on friday at a music event, and we went on for a few messages, good banter and good vibes. Then i stirred the conversation about the gym. My opener for her during the music festival was asking for her training program as she had an amazing ass, so this was relevant.

After 5 messages back and fort talking about the music event I sent her a pic of me putting plates on the bar about to do some squats.

me: you actually motivated me to not skip leg day today. need to catch up to you (kiss emoji)
her: haha im proud of you! i wish i could train right now but my gym is closed until the 11th. you're already way ahead of me (kiss emoji)
me: you surprise me, most girls i talk to are lazy and don't do gym more than once a week
her: oh i love working out! i don't want to sit and watch series in my bed all day, i wanna be productive
me: you're pretty AND smart? something is wrong here. but to be honest, i just work out so i can eat cake without getting fat... it's our little secret now
her: aww you're too nice
her: hahaha oh really? you're very handsome and your body is on point! you can eat all the cake you want :)

Im thinking about either inviting her out on a date to the gym and then switch venue after, go out and eat/drink somewhere. Or invite her to go ice skating with me, is that a good first date idea? Or just go for the safe and the standard cafe date i usually do and keep the gym date for an 2nd date.

"What's your schedule like this week? We should hang out"
"We should work out together this week, are you free on X?"
"How about we grab ice cream sometime this week?"
"We should grab ice cream on X day, you free then?"

How can i be creative with these so they don't sound so boring?
(This post was last modified: Yesterday 08:10 PM by chvrches.)
Yesterday 08:07 PM
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