I'm Touring The United States! Starting in June, I'm conducting private events in 23 American cities. Click here for full details.

Post Reply 
Personal Assiatant Needed in Haleiwa
Author Message
Kona Offline
International Playboy
******
Gold Member

Posts: 5,336
Joined: Aug 2009
Reputation: 144
Post: #1
Personal Assiatant Needed in Haleiwa
Hello gentleman.

An opportunity for the right 2 individuals has recently become available. This is someone's chance to live and work in paradise, and get paid doing it!!

For several years I have owned and operated a small charter fishing business. We have two boats in 2 locations on Oahu, and 7 employees. I also have some rental properties I need a little help with, plus I like to buy shit and fix it, then sell it. Or, I'll buy something, take it apart and sell the pieces.

The best way to describe what I need is a "personal assistant". There is no clear-cut list of job duties. I just need someone there 24 hours a day to take care of shit. Hence the need for two dudes. 12 hours on, 12 hours off. One minute you might be filing my general excise tax shit, the next you might be shuttling Japanese tourists, the next morning you could be cleaning up after bar sluts. You will be living on my property, and constantly on-call. I have had several assistants that have always been females. My assistant quit, and I have concluded that this is a man's job.

Necessary qualifications include:

1) A firm grasp of the English language, and the ability to learn Hawaiian and Filipino Pidgin.
2) A valid drivers license and no drunk driving arrests in the last 7 years, as well as a relatively clear criminal record.
3) Game.
4) You must be in relatively good shape. Heavy lifting is going to occur, plus I spend a lot of time on beaches and don't want some fat guy with me.
5) Cooking and cleaning skills.
6) A college education or military background.
7) Computer skills that include how to make websites.
8) Firearm knowledge and the ability to acquire a concealed carry permit.
9) Gardening and grass cutting experience.
10) Using and maintaining many different types of tools.
11) A good telephone voice.
12) Office administration type experience.
13) Pet care.
14) Scheduling of business and personal (sluts) appointments and making sure they're kept.
15) A strong desire to have sex with Island and Asian women.
16) Ability to follow instructions.
17) An understanding that although I'm a cool guy, I'm still your boss. You gotta do whatever I say.

Compensation for this job is as follows:

1) $1000 USD per month in cash, plus tips. If you can hustle you'll be rewarded.
2) Medical insurance through HMSA.
3) A fully furnished bedroom in the two bedroom one bath apartment above my garage. All utilities included. The house is located on a beautiful stretch of beach. Here are some photos:
[attachment=366]
As you can tell, the rooms are wired for cable tv. The ceilings are vaulted, and leakage is minimal except during rain. One of your job duties will be to coordinate with roofers to repair those leaks, or to fix them yourself.

[attachment=367]
View out of the kitchen window. As you can tell there are lots of leafy trees located on the property.

[attachment=368]
The bathroom You will share with your co-worker.

4) Lots of meals and bar bills, as long as you don't get to fucked up, as well as marijuana and various other substances.
5) Basically free food all around, as you will be going to the grocery store a lot.
6) Unlimited use of a 2003 Cadillac CTS or a 1992 Mitsubishi Montero. Here are some photos:
[attachment=369]
[attachment=370]
7) Living in an area that is frequented year-round by gorgeous international women, in a house that is perfectly set up to have sex with them:

This beautiful Hapa girl and 3 of her friends were in my hot tub last night:
[attachment=372]
And these two are here now:
[attachment=373]

I am MIGHT be willing to pay the airfare to screen this individual. I will accept resumes, then set up a preliminary meeting over some online video chatting. If at that point I feel the person is a good candidate then a meeting will be scheduled. If based on phone discussions and theses chats I fell the individual is strong enough, then airfare may be discussed. I'd just hate to pay to fly a gut out here then find out he's a deadbeat.

If any of you are interested in this job, or know someone who is, please contact me.

Aloha!
(This post was last modified: 12-03-2010 08:07 AM by Kona.)
11-29-2010 08:37 PM
Find all posts by this user Like Post Quote this message in a reply
exe Offline
Recovering Beta
*

Posts: 178
Joined: Feb 2010
Reputation: 2
Post: #2
RE: Personal Assiatant Needed in Haleiwa
This is funny shit. Requiring a college education to do pet care, gardening and grass cutting? Not sure if this is borne out of desperation, delusion, insanity or social ineptness but this is a forum where people are spending valuable time & effort towards gaining an independent, mobile lifestyle. Where does this post fit towards that goal? This is not paradise, it's the JOB from hell. This belongs on Craigslist, not here.
(This post was last modified: 11-30-2010 07:08 PM by exe.)
11-30-2010 01:02 AM
Find all posts by this user Like Post Quote this message in a reply
subutai Offline
Chubby Chaser
**

Posts: 252
Joined: Nov 2010
Reputation: 2
Post: #3
RE: Personal Assiatant Needed in Haleiwa
In all fairness, I'm sure there are a lot of guys on here who are jobless or don't have any funds to travel whatsoever -- so this could interest some of the younger guys on this site.

On the other hand, I think one of those zombies from the Walking Dead could get a job teaching English in South Korea and that's going to pay a whole lot more than a $1000 a month.
11-30-2010 01:13 AM
Find all posts by this user Like Post Quote this message in a reply
InternationPlayboy Offline
International Playboy
******

Posts: 4,396
Joined: Nov 2008
Reputation: 36
Post: #4
RE: Personal Assiatant Needed in Haleiwa
Lots of qualifications for not much compensations. I don't see many people with a college education taking this job.
(This post was last modified: 11-30-2010 01:30 AM by InternationPlayboy.)
11-30-2010 01:27 AM
Find all posts by this user Like Post Quote this message in a reply
Badstuber Away
Wingman
***

Posts: 660
Joined: Jun 2010
Reputation: 3
Post: #5
RE: Personal Assiatant Needed in Haleiwa
well if you can get me a green card I am in.
11-30-2010 03:33 AM
Find all posts by this user Like Post Quote this message in a reply
exe Offline
Recovering Beta
*

Posts: 178
Joined: Feb 2010
Reputation: 2
Post: #6
RE: Personal Assiatant Needed in Haleiwa
(11-30-2010 03:33 AM)Badstuber Wrote:  well if you can get me a green card I am in.

Lol..do you qualify? You need to learn Filipino Pidgin, have game, military background, Firearm knowledge and a good telephone voice. And be ok when the roof leaks when it rains. Hahaha. Still in?
(This post was last modified: 11-30-2010 03:42 AM by exe.)
11-30-2010 03:41 AM
Find all posts by this user Like Post Quote this message in a reply
wolf Offline
Chubby Chaser
**

Posts: 578
Joined: Feb 2010
Reputation: 0
Post: #7
RE: Personal Assiatant Needed in Haleiwa
Yea, this would be good for someone young, the money is low but I'm sure the experience is going to be worth it. As far as those girls, the sidekick never gets pussy. The guy's game would have to be better than yours, unless of course these chicks are cool to the point where they sleep with your friends, which I doubt, maybe if they were mud turtles.

Somebody fresh out of high school would be perfect, I would add the incentive that you'll teach them game while they work for you, then those chick pics will come in handy.
11-30-2010 06:26 AM
Find all posts by this user Like Post Quote this message in a reply
Bukowsky Offline
Game Denialist

Posts: 65
Joined: Nov 2010
Reputation: 0
Post: #8
RE: Personal Assiatant Needed in Haleiwa
I just decided this is a hopeless cause.
(This post was last modified: 11-30-2010 07:07 AM by Bukowsky.)
11-30-2010 07:05 AM
Find all posts by this user Like Post Quote this message in a reply
Vacancier Permanent Offline
International Playboy
******
Gold Member

Posts: 4,451
Joined: Mar 2010
Reputation: 140
Post: #9
RE: Personal Assiatant Needed in Haleiwa
First reaction after reading this post and the long list of qualifications needed, I was like is this for real? LOL Maybe you should post this "job offer" in high schools around your town or on some ghetto as that's the only people who would in all honesty even consider it. But if you do decide to put an ad/flyers out there, be very careful of the wordings as others have had lawsuits on their asses for a lot less. LOL
11-30-2010 08:13 AM
Find all posts by this user Like Post Quote this message in a reply
hydrogonian Offline
True Player
*****
Gold Member

Posts: 2,195
Joined: Oct 2009
Reputation: 73
Post: #10
RE: Personal Assiatant Needed in Haleiwa
I think that this could be a great gig for a younger local. The problem with a guy from the mainland taking the job is having to save for flights home on that salary, even 1-2x per year. That essentially traps him in the job, without being able to afford to come home, comfortably, or leave the job if necessary.

That's not necessarily Kona's issue, even though he's obviously advertising for non-locals. But I think being a local would make the job much more attractive (although 12 hours on is a bit extreme for 1k per month). Perhaps if it were 12 hours on, 4 days per week.

All that being said, I think Kona's advertising for something that he needs, at a price that he can afford, and trying to make the job as attractive as he can by offering the perks that he can. If the job is worthwhile for the perks involved, then he will be able to keep people. If its not, then the market will dictate that he pay more, reduce responsibilities, or offer more perks. Whatever the result, at least he's giving a turn key option to be in Hawaii to some guys who might appreciate it.

Without cost of living factored in to anything the guy might have to pay for, it seems that Kona's package is probably equivalent to around a $30-32k salary, tax adjusted (cash, rent, utilities, food, and bar tabs).
(This post was last modified: 11-30-2010 09:29 AM by hydrogonian.)
11-30-2010 09:24 AM
Find all posts by this user Like Post Quote this message in a reply
hydrogonian Offline
True Player
*****
Gold Member

Posts: 2,195
Joined: Oct 2009
Reputation: 73
Post: #11
RE: Personal Assiatant Needed in Haleiwa
(11-30-2010 10:28 AM)lavinci Wrote:  What kind of English teaching job in South Korea? Do those jobs provide rent and food like this one does? What kind of living and work standard to they guarantee? I heard about folks going to work in that part of the world teaching English, but I don't really know how the specifics look like. You gotta sign a year contract or what?

They provide rent, and airfare both ways if you sign a contact upfront. If you go over on your own, then you'll get airfare back.

No food, but most food is dirt cheap there, for good quality. If you have a good boss, there will be semi-frequent meals on his dime. Even better, get a public school job and eat lunch in the cafeteria every day. Principals will generally organize semi-frequent teacher dinners.

The average savings there depends on the current exchange rate, but its traditionally been around 1K per month for US citizens for the basic legally mandated package ($2k per month, airfare, and rent).

The package is generally worth around $50k tax adjusted, using the average rent in a medium sized US city as a base comparison. Meaning that if you lived basically, you could save the equivalent amount if you earned $50k in a medium sized US city (if you can't, then you don't live a basic lifestyle). Going to Korea and starting over with no dependents, a small apartment minimal possessions, and no in-country debt, your living a basic lifestyle in the beginning, no matter what. Most people go there to save, and nothing else unless they're running away from something, and so they maintain that basic lifestyle. But you can live as well as you can afford. The sky is the limit. Although, Seoul will never be as cosmopolitan as its close neighbor, Tokyo. Japan is a different animal altogether, as far as lifestyle potential is concerned.
(This post was last modified: 11-30-2010 01:21 PM by hydrogonian.)
11-30-2010 10:59 AM
Find all posts by this user Like Post Quote this message in a reply
exe Offline
Recovering Beta
*

Posts: 178
Joined: Feb 2010
Reputation: 2
Post: #12
RE: Personal Assiatant Needed in Haleiwa
(11-30-2010 10:05 AM)lavinci Wrote:  ..I wish there would be more shit like this on the forum. Seriously, this is one of the most greatest attention-grabber threads on this forum ever.

.. let's encourage this. This is good stuff.

Bullshit


Attached File(s) Image(s)
   
(This post was last modified: 11-30-2010 07:12 PM by exe.)
11-30-2010 11:53 AM
Find all posts by this user Like Post Quote this message in a reply
playa_with_a_passport Offline
Wingman
***
Gold Member

Posts: 666
Joined: Nov 2009
Reputation: 25
Post: #13
RE: Personal Assiatant Needed in Haleiwa
I don't look at this as that bad of a deal. I look at this more as a internship or a sting Peacecorps than a job. Au Pairs work as many hours and they don't get paid nowhere near 1K. If Kona renames this "Marine Operations "Internship and reduces the work days to 5 with a 1K a month "stipend" his phone will ring off the hook.
(This post was last modified: 11-30-2010 01:38 PM by playa_with_a_passport.)
11-30-2010 01:36 PM
Find all posts by this user Like Post Quote this message in a reply
hydrogonian Offline
True Player
*****
Gold Member

Posts: 2,195
Joined: Oct 2009
Reputation: 73
Post: #14
RE: Personal Assiatant Needed in Haleiwa
(11-30-2010 01:36 PM)playa_with_a_passport Wrote:  I don't look at this as that bad of a deal. I look at this more as a internship or a sting Peacecorps than a job. Au Pairs work as many hours and they don't get paid nowhere near 1K. If Kona renames this "Marine Operations "Internship and reduces the work days to 5 with a 1K a month "stipend" his phone will ring off the hook.

haha...maybe. Kona's offer aside, I hate that type of shit. I think people who disguise jobs like that, and therefore skirt the minimum wage laws, should be fucking prosecuted. Corporations do it constantly, and get tons of free labor under the guise of 'internships' that do absolutely nothing for the intern.
(This post was last modified: 11-30-2010 02:22 PM by hydrogonian.)
11-30-2010 02:18 PM
Find all posts by this user Like Post Quote this message in a reply
kerouac Offline
True Player
*****

Posts: 1,936
Joined: Aug 2008
Reputation: 21
Post: #15
RE: Personal Assiatant Needed in Haleiwa
Sometimes I wonder if Kona is the Hawaiian version of G Manifesto...
11-30-2010 03:13 PM
Find all posts by this user Like Post Quote this message in a reply
manilaguy Offline
Banned

Posts: 283
Joined: Nov 2010
Post: #16
RE: Personal Assiatant Needed in Haleiwa
WTF this guy posted a job opportunity and he's getting hated-on? If you want it, apply, if not then why not just browse away.

KONA:

I'm not interested in the offer but interested in vacationing in your resort, so if you can post a website or whatever.
11-30-2010 05:11 PM
Find all posts by this user Like Post Quote this message in a reply
oldnemesis Offline
True Player
*****

Posts: 2,700
Joined: May 2010
Reputation: 27
Post: #17
RE: Personal Assiatant Needed in Haleiwa
I just made some calculations. 12K a year in cash equals roughly to 15K pre-tax. Assuming a regular 40-hour workweek the poor dude is going to make 7.21 buck per hour. This is below federal minimum wage. Now if we take in account that this is really a 84 hour per week job (7*12), he is actually making $2.97 per hour. I have no idea what job market is in Hawaii, but here in Bay Area you won't find illegals who'd work for $3 an hour. Especially those who speak good English, ready to learn other languages they'd never have any use for, have college education and can make websites.

The only good thing for this poor dude is that he would have a lot of leverage over Kona, as he could easily rat him to Labor dept and IRS.
11-30-2010 06:21 PM
Find all posts by this user Like Post Quote this message in a reply
subutai Offline
Chubby Chaser
**

Posts: 252
Joined: Nov 2010
Reputation: 2
Post: #18
RE: Personal Assiatant Needed in Haleiwa
I really like the concealed fire arms knowledge + pet care requirement.

I can just imagine a guy from this site packing heat while walking a poodle.
11-30-2010 06:59 PM
Find all posts by this user Like Post Quote this message in a reply
gringoed Offline
Wingman
***

Posts: 915
Joined: Jul 2009
Reputation: 11
Post: #19
RE: Personal Assiatant Needed in Haleiwa
5 years ago I would have taken this job!
11-30-2010 07:06 PM
Find all posts by this user Like Post Quote this message in a reply
speakeasy Offline
Innovative Casanova
*******
Gold Member

Posts: 9,099
Joined: Aug 2008
Reputation: 102
Post: #20
RE: Personal Assiatant Needed in Haleiwa
Too many requirements for too little pay. I know it's free room and board and food and that helps, but still. Only way I could see it paying off is if he's screwing like a rockstar while living there.
11-30-2010 07:19 PM
Find all posts by this user Like Post Quote this message in a reply
Lumiere Offline
True Player
*****

Posts: 1,996
Joined: Aug 2008
Reputation: 9
Post: #21
RE: Personal Assiatant Needed in Haleiwa
Dude I know some poor ass filipinos here in Manila who would take this job if you fly them over and deal with their visa

Apart from that, good luck finding someone on that salary.
11-30-2010 08:03 PM
Find all posts by this user Like Post Quote this message in a reply
InternationPlayboy Offline
International Playboy
******

Posts: 4,396
Joined: Nov 2008
Reputation: 36
Post: #22
RE: Personal Assiatant Needed in Haleiwa
(11-30-2010 01:36 PM)playa_with_a_passport Wrote:  I don't look at this as that bad of a deal. I look at this more as a internship or a sting Peacecorps than a job. Au Pairs work as many hours and they don't get paid nowhere near 1K. If Kona renames this "Marine Operations "Internship and reduces the work days to 5 with a 1K a month "stipend" his phone will ring off the hook.

Internship? Internship for what? To become an army wife? Plus, I dated an Au Pair that made $50k a year, free rent, car, food, gas, you name it. And.... Yes the chick did work long hours, maybe 12 a day, but she only worked every other week! Week on week off for $50k a year, driving a Lexus? That's what I'm talking about!
(This post was last modified: 12-01-2010 01:22 AM by InternationPlayboy.)
11-30-2010 08:19 PM
Find all posts by this user Like Post Quote this message in a reply
InternationPlayboy Offline
International Playboy
******

Posts: 4,396
Joined: Nov 2008
Reputation: 36
Post: #23
RE: Personal Assiatant Needed in Haleiwa
BoringPunchballs The thing that espeically kills me about this, is the whole idea it seems like is getting to experience Hawaii and what it has to offer, but how are you gonna enjoy anything working 84 hours a week? I work 40 hours a week and think that's too much! More than 2 weeks worth of work in one week? You're working more than two years worth of work in a year. Insanity! If you want the recomended 8 hours of sleep a night, you have 4 hours a day to hang out and do what you want, which is probably gonna be nothing because you are going to be drained from slaving the past 12 hours for less than $3 an hour. 28 hours a week!!! WTF?!?!?! It's probably gonna be dark by the time you get off anyways, good luck enjoying the beach! But I guess look at the bright side, you may be able to save $8000 in a year if you only spend $4k, because you won't have time to spend your money doing anything else. That would give you enough money to spend maybe 3 or 4 months in South America. Plus, which one of these dime peices is gonna want to fuck a servant/slave? PunchballsBoring
(This post was last modified: 12-01-2010 01:17 AM by InternationPlayboy.)
12-01-2010 01:07 AM
Find all posts by this user Like Post Quote this message in a reply
playa_with_a_passport Offline
Wingman
***
Gold Member

Posts: 666
Joined: Nov 2009
Reputation: 25
Post: #24
RE: Personal Assiatant Needed in Haleiwa
Quote:I dated an Au Pair that made $50k a year, free rent, car, food, gas, you name it. And.... Yes the chick did work long hours, maybe 12 a day, but she only worked every other week! Week on week off for $50k a year, driving a Lexus? That's what I'm talking about!

Are you sure she was an Au Pair? Au Pairs in the United States get paid $195 a week. The host family provides food, boarding, use of car, weekd ends off. Same deal as Kona minus pet care.
http://www.interexchange.org/content/24/...tions.html


(11-30-2010 03:37 PM)lavinci Wrote:  What do you know about Au Pairs?

I am not an Au Pair expert by any chance but I am very familiar with the program. My first White girl was actually an 18 year old Pretty Young Thing from Germany who was very sweet, tender and had a velvetly throat.. But I digress,

Quote:Au Pairs are girls from poor countries who wouldn't even be able to come to US in the first place if it wasn't for their Au Pair program.

This is not true. Most of the Au Pairs that I have met are from Western Europe. They are under the Visa Waiver program so if their intentions are to overstay their visas so they can find a sucker to give them a Green Card they have easier ways of doing so than going the Au Pair route. Also, even the ones who are from poor countries are relatively well off and had tourist visas before joining the program. It would be interesting to see what the statistics are for Au Pairs overstaying their visas Vs Student visas/Tourist Visas. I have a feeling its very low. Out of the 10 or so Au Pairs that I have banged, all of them went back home even the ones from Panama, Venezuela, Mexico and Colombia.

Quote:Speaking about those Au Pair nanny girls, OK once they got their papers how many of them do you think go back to Au Pairing? I have no idea, but I'm guessing. Zero.
Why would they? None of these girls do Au Pairing because they need the money.They do it because they want the experience of living in a foreign country and being an Au Pair is a cost effective way of doing so. What’s their alternative? Traveling to the US and burn thru their savings paying for rent, food and utilities when all they really want to do is go to the club and suck some Brooklyn cock?

Quote:How is that relevant? Your comparison makes no sense.

The Au Pair Program Its relevant for the same reason I stated above. Au pairs are an example of someone that would do something thats completely against their economic self interest and do it solely because they Can. Not everyone is motivated by money, some people just want to escape their routine and live in an exotic location without spending a fortune.

Quote:Which is sad, that most of us westerners wouldn't even look at an offer like this, whereas some gorgeous and ambitious and hard working EE or Asian chick would kill for a job like this.

Again, it depends. If you have traveled and stayed in Hostels aboard you’ll find that Hostels in Latin America and Africa have no shortage of Gringos willing to work long hours basically for free. All they get is food and a dorm bed. They get no access to a car, no flights, no 1K a month and they certainly not getting no “8 balls” to share with some horny 18 year old Pinay in a bathtub. Those Gringos are totally raping the local labor market because they drive the cost of labor to $0.

Quote:5 years ago I would have taken this job!
So do I, This is not a job for someone who needs the money. You basically paying your own way by your labor and he’s giving you a 1G a month for “beer money.” If I was 18 and spent my days working the afternoon shift at Burger King and Jerking off at night watching PornHub I would jump on this in a second.
12-01-2010 02:27 PM
Find all posts by this user Like Post Quote this message in a reply
exe Offline
Recovering Beta
*

Posts: 178
Joined: Feb 2010
Reputation: 2
Post: #25
RE: Personal Assiatant Needed in Haleiwa
The things that's wrong with this JOB being posted on this board is that it's targeting the wrong audience. We members put in a lot of time & effort towards designing & implementing an independent, mobile lifestyle - one that involves generating income with the lowest time investment, therefore giving us the ability to travel wherever & whenever we want. This JOB is totally incongruent to those goals. Letting it slide or worse, encouraging it, would set the precedent for other whack job posts on our board. I do not doubt that this JOB can be attractive to others but it doesn't belong here. Rather, it needs to be posted on Craigslist or BackPage. I am not opposed to jobs being posted here, just irrelevant ones. Heck, I actually like the hotel/resort business opportunity that VP is offering. It jives well with this lifestyle.

And I forgive all the BS that you said on your other post. You just had your nose so far up his ass, it must have been intoxicating Smile hehehe
12-01-2010 04:07 PM
Find all posts by this user Like Post Quote this message in a reply
Post Reply 


Possibly Related Threads...
Thread: Author Replies: Views: Last Post
  Really Fast Online Personal Loans Kona 25 3,758 11-21-2018 12:24 AM
Last Post: Kona
  Budgeting / Personal Finance App Recommendations? the-dream 13 5,143 10-13-2018 08:17 PM
Last Post: monsquid
  What are your 3-5 simple Personal Finance Tips that everyone should know jamaicabound 81 16,706 07-23-2018 06:37 AM
Last Post: JackinMelbourne

Forum Jump:


User(s) browsing this thread: 1 Guest(s)

Contact Us | RooshV.com | Return to Top | Return to Content | Mobile Version | RSS Syndication