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Which has been your worst "female hygiene" surprise?
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Guanyanyo Offline
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Sad Which has been your worst "female hygiene" surprise?
This is simple: which has been the worst, off-putting, vomit-inducing, flight-instinct activating, generally gross hygiene "surprise" you've had when bedding a passable-looking woman, as in 5 or above? Attractive women supposedly are generally prissy and they mostly look the part, but there are many accounts of women "occasionally forgetting" to sprinkle some water down there. Menses don't count. Ugly women, cunts, feminists and others where bad hygiene is expected don't count. The magic words are "attractive" and "surprise".

For example, during secondary I got lice from a prostitute but that is somehow expected so it doesn't count.

I once had a job at an NGO and my boss was a woman about my age, tight body with nice pert titties but rather unspectacular face. She was my boss just b/c she'd been there longer than me, not qualification. Anyway, this implied we had to work long hours together and would often stay in office late. During a pause one night she jumped me and we start making out. After finishing work we went to her place and I bang her hard, she was impressed. I eventually go to the kitchen to fetch something to drink. While standing there with my dick in the air, her pussy smell wafted up to my nose.

What wafted from my dick was not smell but all-out stench, a mix of rotting shit, fermenting piss and an intensely sour note to top that bouquet from hell. I was just shocked: where the hell I had stuck my dick into? And I was worrying that I had to go back and continue banging her. I couldn't and I didn't want to wash my dick out of worry of offending her, she was my boss after all. I don't remember how that night ended but I left that job soon afterwards.

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12-11-2013 02:12 AM
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Vendetta Offline
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RE: Which has been your worst "female hygiene" surprise?
Smelly pussy every time.

Caused by either period or thrush.

Nasty.
12-11-2013 02:22 AM
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Mujeriego Offline
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RE: Which has been your worst "female hygiene" surprise?
The worst I can think of is when I went down on a chick and wound up with a piece of toilet paper in my mouth.
12-11-2013 02:35 AM
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Tuthmosis Offline
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RE: Which has been your worst "female hygiene" surprise?
I've posted stories in various other contexts in the forum. Here's one of the best (worst) ones. Pasted below for your convenience.

(05-22-2011 04:41 PM)Tuthmosis Wrote:  The discovery came under the most unfortunate circumstances, too. I had her ass near my face, when I suddenly looked up and discovered a pencil-eraser-sized brown spot lodged firmly in her crack. I had to dig deep not to retch, though I'm pretty sure my chub suffered an appreciable amount. Like the trooper that I am, though, I flipped her-ass over and finished the job like a champ. I washed my sheets as soon as she left and we had "a talk" later.

This girl, though surprisingly cute, was stank in a variety of other ways. She emitted a stiff, lemony B.O. half the time (which she would impart on my clothes) and she sported one of the smelliest vaginas I've ever had the misfortune of transacting with. I attributed this to some sort of elevated testosterone levels, which also made her one of the horniest little things I've encountered.

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12-11-2013 02:42 AM
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2Wycked Offline
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Post: #5
RE: Which has been your worst "female hygiene" surprise?
@Tuthmosis:

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12-11-2013 02:45 AM
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bacon Offline
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Post: #6
RE: Which has been your worst "female hygiene" surprise?
similar to tuths

I was having sex with a girl eventually we started going at it doggy. As I am banging away I look down at her ass and sure enough she had shit on her asshole from either not wipping or doing a terrible job at it.

Still haunts me to this day.
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(This post was last modified: 12-11-2013 03:06 AM by bacon.)
12-11-2013 03:05 AM
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pointbreak Offline
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Post: #7
RE: Which has been your worst "female hygiene" surprise?
I highly recommend that the guy who recently started a thread about not being able to get it up for new lays with hotties does not read this thread.
12-11-2013 03:18 AM
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Handsome Creepy Eel Offline
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RE: Which has been your worst "female hygiene" surprise?
Preparing to bang a girl doggy-style and noticing that she has a piece of toiler paper (some 5 cm long, so not small) stuck between her ass cheeks, colored a mushy yellow and brown. My boner deflated quicker than if you had pierced it with a needle. Truly awful.

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12-11-2013 03:36 AM
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lavidaloca Offline
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RE: Which has been your worst "female hygiene" surprise?
I was banging a black chick. She was on top and then we went to cow girl. She had some white stuff around her ass. Not sure to this day what it was but I honestly was concerned that it was dried cum. Atleast thats what I thought while I was banging her.
12-11-2013 03:38 AM
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magellan Offline
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RE: Which has been your worst "female hygiene" surprise?
This entire thread is absolutely disgusting.
12-11-2013 03:44 AM
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birdrussell Offline
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RE: Which has been your worst "female hygiene" surprise?
I got 2. Back in high school this chick that always seemed to have a crush on me found her way to my buddies place. She wasn't bad looking and not super good looking at the same time. Long story short i don't ever show up to my buddies place and she gets bored and takes my buddies virginity in his bedroom walk in closet the precedes to duck any dude at the apartment who wanted it granted they weren't betas(she turned down one guy that night).
so the next day i roll up after hearing about the escapades. I nail a 6 pack and start making out with her and when take her to the closet to nail her. There was a funk in the closet but i was like fuck. it get her naked and and then there it was the source of the funkiness. I still beat cause i wanted to a part of the story but it was lifeless and rewarding sex. It would be many moons before i again had such a terrible lay. Several days or weeks later and this might have been our imagination but the closet still smell a bit of this girl. Years later I ran into this girl on FB and she looked alright She at one time alluded to have fucked the drummer of Pantera.

You can work stupid, but you can't fix a fat body.
(This post was last modified: 12-11-2013 03:58 AM by birdrussell.)
12-11-2013 03:46 AM
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birdrussell Offline
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RE: Which has been your worst "female hygiene" surprise?
The second one was i was 69ing this chick with the lights on and she was a clean and all except on this one occasion she had a speck of orange right by her ass hole. I was like yuck. I finished, and fucked but i never went down on her again.

You can work stupid, but you can't fix a fat body.
(This post was last modified: 12-11-2013 03:59 AM by birdrussell.)
12-11-2013 03:49 AM
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Snowplow Offline
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Post: #13
RE: Which has been your worst "female hygiene" surprise?
I know he said menses doesn't count but its all I got besides gagging on a pube story.

I recently started talking to this cute redhead I knew from grade school. Gorgeous face and huge tits, little on the thicker side. She met me up at a dive bar after she went to some gala event. Well she got pretty drunk and I took her home when the bar closed. On the way she's talking about her dress makes for easier access and she wanted me to pull over a block away from her house. So as soon as I put it park she's all over me. She lifts her dress and I start fingering her, well I start feeling something that doesn't seem right. I question her about it and she says "its probably nothin....oh shit!" I pulled my hand out and see red stained fingers. "GET THE FUCK OUTTA MY CAR!" (I'm terribly grossed out with that shit) I start dry heaving. She tries to convince me its not that bad. I stay my course and kick her out. She was so pissed she had to walk home a block in heels during a Chicago January. Now she still tries to hang out with me....stupid hamster.

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(This post was last modified: 12-11-2013 03:58 AM by Snowplow.)
12-11-2013 03:58 AM
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funkyzeit Offline
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RE: Which has been your worst "female hygiene" surprise?
I don't have disgusting sex stories but I do have a disgusting makeout story.

There was this girl that I wanted to bang for years, but I just couldn't bump into her and stalking is out of the question. So when I finally managed to get with her and go to her place I immediately started making out with her and showed my hand under her pants to feel her perfect ass. On her left cheek I felt a little bump so I pressed it to see what it is. It deflated immediately and I felt my hand getting kinda wet really fast. I pulled my hand to see what's going on and my hand was covered in some mixture of blood and something yellowish.

The smell and realization that I just popped a giant pulsating hemorrhoid made me sick. I got up, went to the bathroom to wash my hand and when I came back to her room her hands were covering her face and she was on the edge of tears. She started to tell me "it's not her fault" and it could be true, I'm not a hemorrhoid specialist. I told her I won't tell anyone (this post is an exception since we are anonymous) and I left.

Other than her all the girls that were with me were clean enough and I have no horror stories.
12-11-2013 04:07 AM
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RE: Which has been your worst "female hygiene" surprise?
Facepalm3
12-11-2013 05:12 AM
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AnonymousBosch Away
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RE: Which has been your worst "female hygiene" surprise?
Years back - the chick was a 9, but had a yeast infection. Transmission during sex is considered 'uncommon' but that didn't stop it from being transferred to my tongue. It resulted in a combination of burning like hot wax and having your tongue slashed with razor blades until I knew what it was. It was easily-treated but I've never been hugely into eating pussy since. (Yeah, I know "It's beta!" but this was back in the days when Madonna hadn't even sung about being eaten out, so girls thought it was incredibly-dirty and were far more submissive to your control during the act).

I also remember being at a party with two mates when a hottie I'd banged a few times before flirted with me briefly on her way past. Mate 1 asked me if I was going to bang her, and I said I already had but "That slut gave me crabs."

Mate 2 lowered his beer and said "That slut gave ME crabs."
12-11-2013 06:31 AM
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ryanf Offline
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RE: Which has been your worst "female hygiene" surprise?
When I saw the title of this thread...

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12-11-2013 06:32 AM
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Teedub Offline
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Post: #18
RE: Which has been your worst "female hygiene" surprise?
I've mentioned this on another thread, and whilst it isn't as disgusting as any of the ones involving shit, it was pretty bad to experience. Basically, a vaginal stench so horrific (not fish, but more like a thick must) that it took a day of open windows to remove it.

I can't think of any explanation other than she had some severe infection. But it was truly wretch-inducing. I had my friends come over to take in a whiff of the aftermath. They couldn't believe such a pungent and unremitting smell could emanate from a human being's genitals.

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12-11-2013 06:47 AM
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AnonymousBosch Away
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RE: Which has been your worst "female hygiene" surprise?
(12-11-2013 03:44 AM)magellan Wrote:  This entire thread is absolutely disgusting.

I'm laughing. War stories man. Roll with it.

My first experience with anal - I pull out when done and she promptly farts a massive combination of lube, cum and shit right across the sheets and onto my balls and thighs. They never illustrated that in 'The Joy Of Sex'.

On the plus side, it's impossible to put any woman on a pedestal after that.
12-11-2013 07:03 AM
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JohnKreese Online
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Post: #20
RE: Which has been your worst "female hygiene" surprise?
I pissed off some fat chick at a party in high school. I get back to my bar and feel a nasty, sticky, gauze-like substance another my door handle. Of course, it was one of her used tampons.

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12-11-2013 07:55 AM
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Mikev75 Offline
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RE: Which has been your worst "female hygiene" surprise?
Thinking back, the worst feminine hygiene experiences I had were with women who had been drinking. (bars, clubs, college parties)

It's just one of the many reason I avoid picking them up in these venues.

They might start the night clean and tidy, but as the hours go by, things go to shit, apparently in some cases, *literally*, as per the other posts.

A drunk girl who has to go to the bathroom isn't going to to have the coordination or attention span to clean up properly. Also, if they're dancing or hanging out for hours in overheated clubs, there will be sweat build-up.

Now I'm going to sound like some kind of hippy, crunchy granola dude, but I think synthetic fabrics play a role too. I've noticed that women who are wearing nylons/tights are more likely to smell in their nether regions. Thigh high stockings are much better, because they let everything air out. It's the same problem with Spanx-type garments: all the sweat and moisture get trapped in. Gross.

As nice as stretchy, tight thongs and clubwear look on women who have the body for them, they are usually made out of polyester or other synthetics= same issue as above with the nylons and Spanx.

May not be fashionable or sexy, but cotton underwear and airy clothing are the way to go from the odor perspective. Granted, I have an oversensitive nose. So, I'm willing to trade some visual sexiness for fresh and clean.
12-11-2013 10:33 AM
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Tytalus
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Post: #22
RE: Which has been your worst "female hygiene" surprise?
Pulled down a girl's panties once from behind while she was on all fours.

The resulting stank was instantaneous. I made her blow me instead just to get the pussy five feet away and pointing in the other direction.
12-11-2013 11:05 PM
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Eirykr Offline
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RE: Which has been your worst "female hygiene" surprise?
Only had a couple...

I have a thing for taking the anal virginity of some girls. Just something about the degradation of it turns me on. All the better when they really get into it.

Anyway, this one girl I did this with was a virgin all around, did everything with her. We set up everything for backdoor play, then sometime after insertion I looked down and.. poopdick. I was slick though, got her up without saying anything (despite my quickness) and rushed her to the shower. Cleaned off and went for the other side. Told her after and she had no idea, just thought I really wanted to fuck her in the shower suddenly and thought it was hot. Laugh

Other time I went down on a girl and as I was fingering/licking... Cup O' Noodle. Yeah.. I just got up and went home.
12-11-2013 11:20 PM
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alphaspiraton Offline
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Post: #24
RE: Which has been your worst "female hygiene" surprise?
Doggy style with black girl. Dear lord. Smelled like turd. Closed her ass cheeks and kept banging away. But flipped her over and finishd
12-11-2013 11:45 PM
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Vendetta Offline
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RE: Which has been your worst "female hygiene" surprise?
(12-11-2013 11:20 PM)Eirykr Wrote:  Cup O' Noodle.

WTF is that?
12-12-2013 03:49 AM
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