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"Player's Ennui" and the Life of the Mind
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The Lizard of Oz Offline
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Post: #1
"Player's Ennui" and the Life of the Mind
I'm reposting a response I made to reaper23 -- whose utter honesty in this thread prompted the following thoughts, which I thought deserved their own thread:


I read your posts in this thread with great interest.

You find yourself in a position that most men reading this can only dream about. You've had and continue to have great sexual success, having your way with submissive and attractive females, making them fulfill your every fantasy, including threesomes and whatever other scenarios you can think up.

Yet the prevailing note in all of these posts is one of disenchantment and ennui. Rather than feeling grateful for and contented with the superb erotic boons you've enjoyed, you are never far from aggrievedly posing the age-old and classic question, "Is this all there is"?

It is a good and honest question. But it reflects a fundamental confusion that should be addressed.

The life of sexuality and eros that you have enjoyed to such an unusual extent is the life of the body. It is, indeed, one of the greatest bodily felicities that human beings are capable of -- but it is part of the life of the body, nevertheless.

Except in one's extreme youth, the life of the body cannot and should not be the primary life of a man who has a brain in his head. Instead, the life of the mind and of the heart -- thought and feeling -- should be primary. The life of the body should be seen as the icing on the cake -- a delicious icing if one is lucky. But nothing more.

This is not for any moral reasons but simply because for an intelligent man such as yourself the life of the body is necessarily too limited. There is just not enough there. The body has its pleasures and while they should be attended to with some relish, it is a limited field. Whereas the life of the mind is one that is vast and unlimited.

Pursuing the life of the body as if it can be a primary interest that makes one happy is a fool's errand. And it leads to the comedy of trying to think up more and more new twists and variations and fetishes as if the next one will do the trick.

You are challenging the life of the body to give you something that it is not capable of -- the experience of continuing and increasing interest, engagement and variety that only the mind can supply. As a result, you cannot even properly enjoy and appreciate what you have.

The point is not that sex, including spectacular pornographic sex with threesomes etc, is inherently "empty" or "soul-destroying". It is nothing of the sort. It is, at its best, a great and triumphant pleasure. But it cannot bear the burden of being the most important or interesting thing in your life -- no bodily thing can.

I think that reaching a moment like this is a great opportunity. Realize that the life of the body is done for you as the primary source of variety and interest, and turn to the life of the mind. And over time you will find that the aggrieved ennui is gone, that the question of "is this all there is" no longer comes up, and that the field in front of you is truly inexhaustible. And you will be able to enjoy sexual and other pleasures that may come your way with the relish and gratitude they deserve once they're put in their proper place.

same old shit, sixes and sevens Shaft...
12-16-2013 07:35 PM
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cardguy Offline

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Post: #2
RE: "Player's Ennui" and the Life of the Mind
Happiness is not something that can be approached directly.

It is a state of mind which sneaks up on you when you are busy doing other things.
12-16-2013 07:43 PM
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reaper23 Offline

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Post: #3
RE: "Player's Ennui" and the Life of the Mind
@lizard -

i'm still processing your post and will get back you when i actually have something intelligent and reflective to say other than, "damn"
12-16-2013 09:17 PM
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