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The dangers of thinking something is a sure thing
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Kickb Away
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Post: #1
The dangers of thinking something is a sure thing
I should have learned by now. Every time i blab to my roommate, friends, etc, my plans with the women fall through. This has happened so much since i started learning this stuff. conversely, if i keep my efforts secret i end up scoring. I am conscious of this yet i continue to run my mouth. I tell my friends and roommate that "so and so is coming over to the place" only for her to flake and i have to face the humiliation music.

Anyone else have this problem? I swear! from here on out no more discussing future prospects and no more getting my hopes up.
(This post was last modified: 01-14-2011 12:34 AM by Kickb.)
01-14-2011 12:32 AM
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Aliblahba Offline
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Post: #2
RE: The dangers of thinking something is a sure thing
(01-14-2011 12:32 AM)kickboxer Wrote:  I should have learned by now. Every time i blab to my roommate, friends, etc, my plans with the women fall through. This has happened so much since i started learning this stuff. conversely, if i keep my efforts secret i end up scoring. I am conscious of this yet i continue to run my mouth. I tell my friends and roommate that "so and so is coming over to the place" only for her to flake and i have to face the humiliation music.

Anyone else have this problem? I swear! from here on out no more discussing future prospects and no more getting my hopes up.

It sounds like your surrounded by beta males. Now that you've started this path it's time to shake them off. Ever step in dog shit? It takes awhile to get it off your boot. But when you do, you feel so much better. The more alpha you become the more the betas will cling to your heels. Their jealous of your progress and think by ratting you out they might get the pussy. Don't brag about it to your friends. That is what this forum is for if you need to tell someone.

BTW- I've done the exact same thing you did probably at your age. It's fucking frustrating ain't it? And what what sux is you got no one to blame but yourself. "Loose lips sinks ships". We are here for you bro!
01-14-2011 12:48 AM
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Nonpareil Offline
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Post: #3
RE: The dangers of thinking something is a sure thing
(01-14-2011 12:48 AM)Aliblahba Wrote:  
(01-14-2011 12:32 AM)kickboxer Wrote:  I should have learned by now. Every time i blab to my roommate, friends, etc, my plans with the women fall through. This has happened so much since i started learning this stuff. conversely, if i keep my efforts secret i end up scoring. I am conscious of this yet i continue to run my mouth. I tell my friends and roommate that "so and so is coming over to the place" only for her to flake and i have to face the humiliation music.

Anyone else have this problem? I swear! from here on out no more discussing future prospects and no more getting my hopes up.


It sounds like your surrounded by beta males. Now that you've started this path it's time to shake them off. Ever step in dog shit? It takes awhile to get it off your boot. But when you do, you feel so much better. The more alpha you become the more the betas will cling to your heels. Their jealous of your progress and think by ratting you out they might get the pussy. Don't brag about it to your friends. That is what this forum is for if you need to tell someone.

BTW- I've done the exact same thing you did probably at your age. It's fucking frustrating ain't it? And what what sux is you got no one to blame but yourself. "Loose lips sinks ships". We are here for you bro!

Being surrounded by Beta males is lamentable, but really what can you do about it? The way I figure, 20% of the population are 'Omega' (the fuck why would you want them as friends?), 10% are Alpha (and if they're not in prison, they're living full and interesting lives and slaying girls constantly so why would they want you as a friend?), that leaves a huge 70% of chunk of the male population as Beta. Like it or not, we all have beta friends.

My three best friends break down as so; Alpha with absolutely no control over himself, Beta with lots of money, and Beta with Alpha-level looks.

I wouldn't necessarily say that his friends are ratting him out, but that its more of an attitude thing. When you're boastful and arrogant, it makes it much worse when things don't go your way, but when you're secretive and silent, it registers with you. When you communicate that you're expecting a girl to come through you're putting value on her, when you don't you just let things happen, which beyond a certain point you really just have to do, and I'm sure on some level this registers with your personality.

Remember, that pride comes before the fall.

One of the last lessons I learned about women was something that should have been one of the first lessons I learned about them; it doesn't matter if it's a girl you picked up cold that day or your LTR of two years; with women, nothing is ever a 100% sure thing.

I've said before and will say right now; discretion is a lost art form and an especially attractive personality trait.

Of the three friends I mentioned, can you guess the only one who gets full details including names, how I met the girl and any cell snapshots I might have taken? That's right, the out of control Alpha who gets laid more than I do and lives 45 minutes from me.
(This post was last modified: 01-14-2011 02:10 AM by Nonpareil.)
01-14-2011 01:56 AM
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Tuthmosis Offline
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Post: #4
RE: The dangers of thinking something is a sure thing
I've had to deal with the problem of beta friends or hangers-on. I've basically ditched the more casual beta acquaintances entirely and, with those few genuine friends that are hopeless betas, I refuse to go out to places where they can cramp my style (mostly night game). If we happen to be out doing regular stuff and I need to approach, I have a pre-set protocol that keeps them out of the picture. Effective beta management is an essential, but often overlooked, component of success.

For the most part, I prefer to fly dolo and have developed a decent process for cancelling out its disadvantages.

That aside, I never pre-brag about any accomplishments--beta or not. It's bad mojo to count your chickens before they hatch, in any pursuit. As things become more routine for you (@kickboxer), you'll be less excited and probably not even have the motivation to tell anyone about it.

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(This post was last modified: 01-14-2011 03:42 AM by Tuthmosis.)
01-14-2011 03:41 AM
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oldnemesis Offline
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Post: #5
RE: The dangers of thinking something is a sure thing
(01-14-2011 01:56 AM)Nonpareil Wrote:  Being surrounded by Beta males is lamentable, but really what can you do about it?

This is one of the reasons I prefer to go out alone.


Of wisdom's dictates two are principal,
Surpassing all your lore traditional;
Better to fast than eat of every meat,
Better to live alone than mate with all!

Rubaiyat of Omar Khayyam, #461.
01-14-2011 04:22 AM
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MysticTraveler Offline
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Post: #6
RE: The dangers of thinking something is a sure thing
This is weird. Today, since the morning I have been thinking about this. Not related to girls but my plans to make important decisions in life. About 4-5 years ago I used to keep shit to myself and make decisions without consulting my family or friends. But for the last 3 years I have been open about almost all the things and my life has turned into a living hell.

Other people are not to blame entirely. Why do I discuss a certain plan with my mother? Because I need her approval and her consent. What she says should not make a difference, if am confident then I will just go ahead and do something irrespective of what anyone thinks. This may be a bitter pill to swallow but discussing plans with friends or family members who are not really going to help you (not always because they don't want to but because they can't) is a beta behavior on our part too.

When you step out of your comfort zone, other people by definition are forced to step out of it as well. As Nonpareil said "70% of the males in this world don't want to step out of their comfort zone."

(01-14-2011 04:22 AM)oldnemesis Wrote:  Of wisdom's dictates two are principal,
Surpassing all your lore traditional;
Better to fast than eat of every meat,
Better to live alone than mate with all!

Words of wisdom.
(This post was last modified: 01-14-2011 07:49 AM by MysticTraveler.)
01-14-2011 07:46 AM
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Moma Offline
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Post: #7
RE: The dangers of thinking something is a sure thing
(01-14-2011 12:32 AM)kickboxer Wrote:  I should have learned by now. Every time i blab to my roommate, friends, etc, my plans with the women fall through. This has happened so much since i started learning this stuff. conversely, if i keep my efforts secret i end up scoring. I am conscious of this yet i continue to run my mouth. I tell my friends and roommate that "so and so is coming over to the place" only for her to flake and i have to face the humiliation music.

Anyone else have this problem? I swear! from here on out no more discussing future prospects and no more getting my hopes up.

I kinda of feel the same way but then I thought to myself, I hate assigning mystical magic to this natural human process. I think kickboxer is saying that it is not his friends that are sabotaging him, but that there is some form of cosmic or maybe internal mechanism that is occurring that causes him to blow what could be a near sure thing.

I feel that I have done that lately.

When I keep my mouth shut, I find that I end up fcuking.

However, by keeping my mouth shut, I don't improve on methods, confirm that what I am doing is work or add new strings to my guitar.

That's the perceived downside to keeping one's gob shut.

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01-14-2011 10:04 AM
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FretDancer Offline
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Post: #8
RE: The dangers of thinking something is a sure thing
I used to have this problem when I was very young, over time and frustration I learned that I better keep those things to myself. I don't think I ever tell my friends about a meetup im going to have or anything of the sort. Hell I don't think I even tell them at all even If I did score the bang.

There is a saying in spanish that goes something like this:

"Hombre que come con la boca cerrada, come dos veces"

Which transaltes into something like this:

"The man who eats silently, eats twice"

Hope you learned the lesson Smile
01-14-2011 12:52 PM
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Kickb Away
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Post: #9
RE: The dangers of thinking something is a sure thing
Good feedback. I think u guys are right about this behavior having an effect on ones personality. Looking back at what I have said to the three chicks I had plans with it appears I got sloppy after I started telling friends about them
01-14-2011 03:25 PM
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FretDancer Offline
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Post: #10
RE: The dangers of thinking something is a sure thing
Interesting thought about the cosmic mecanism Moma. It is true that sometimes telling your friends doesn't mean they sabotage it, for some unknown mystical reason you still get fucked over even if they had nothing to do with it, so its better to keep the mouth shut. Learned the hard way.
01-14-2011 03:48 PM
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La Familia Offline
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Post: #11
RE: The dangers of thinking something is a sure thing
This thread is about a day late for me. After blabbing about a woman to my friend, I fucked up my chance. Luckily, there is more leeway than I first estimated.

Sometimes you need these moments to happen to remind you of what works.
01-14-2011 04:38 PM
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Mystik Offline
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Post: #12
RE: The dangers of thinking something is a sure thing
(01-14-2011 10:04 AM)Moma Wrote:  However, by keeping my mouth shut, I don't improve on methods, confirm that what I am doing is work or add new strings to my guitar.

That's the perceived downside to keeping one's gob shut.

True. However, discuss this with people who are on the same path but way ahead of you. If I want to talk about getting my 21st notch then I will talk to someone who is on his way to getting his 201st.

If I want to talk about making $100,000 then I will talk to someone who is making a million.

This is great forum to meet those kind of people.
01-15-2011 12:15 AM
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AlphaQup2nite Offline
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Post: #13
RE: The dangers of thinking something is a sure thing
I totally agree with the cosmic theory. Too many things are interconnected and its impossible judge the results of everything. Kinda like if you havent talked to a classmate in ages and you suddenly get an email from them the same day.
01-20-2011 02:10 AM
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CJ Offline
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Post: #14
RE: The dangers of thinking something is a sure thing
Agreed, it's the darnedest thing. Guess it's the pussy Gods way of trying to get you to not spread your business around the town.
01-21-2011 03:02 PM
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