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Do you feel left out?
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ManAbout Offline
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Post: #1
Do you feel left out?
Left out as a result of following this lifestyle. i.e not "settling down" and get married as per conventional societal norms.

I was looking at the pictures of all my friends that I went to school and university with and they all have pictures with their smiling families, kids, wives etc. etc. And then there are pictures of their childrens life milestones. All of a sudden I just felt left behind. Their kids are growing up and here I am still looking for the next bang or the cute 18 year old. I mean some of my friends that got married when they were like 21 and are beginning to have daughters that I might consider hitting on.

Makes me wonder.
01-25-2011 03:03 PM
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oldnemesis Offline
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RE: Do you feel left out?
People tend to desire what they do not have; I bet at least some of your friends would like to take your place, so this is normal.
However my opinion is that sooner or later pretty much everyone comes to similar conclusion. This is part of growing up - a 20yo going to a rave party looks cool; a 40yo dude on a rave party looks miserable, like an adult wearing a pacifier. Think about it as the next step: properly raising your kid is much, much more challenging and resource-consuming that banging a bunch of 18yo chicks. And, at the same time, it does not prevent you from banging 18yo chicks.

The poorest people are those who come to that too late, like in their fifties. Really, one can go to Thailand and marry an 18yo there, but what fun is it if you are, like, 68 when your son is 18? My oldest daughter is 14, and it is already quite hard for us to connect with her. Would you ever be able to connect with a kid having 50 years difference in age?
01-25-2011 06:57 PM
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Roosh Offline
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RE: Do you feel left out?
Those happy pictures represent 0.1% of their actual life. The time between them is quite mundane and often depressing.

http://www.consumeraffairs.com/news04/20...essed.html

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01-25-2011 07:13 PM
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ManAbout Offline
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RE: Do you feel left out?
(01-25-2011 06:57 PM)oldnemesis Wrote:  People tend to desire what they do not have; I bet at least some of your friends would like to take your place, so this is normal.
However my opinion is that sooner or later pretty much everyone comes to similar conclusion. This is part of growing up - a 20yo going to a rave party looks cool; a 40yo dude on a rave party looks miserable, like an adult wearing a pacifier. Think about it as the next step: properly raising your kid is much, much more challenging and resource-consuming that banging a bunch of 18yo chicks. And, at the same time, it does not prevent you from banging 18yo chicks.

The poorest people are those who come to that too late, like in their fifties. Really, one can go to Thailand and marry an 18yo there, but what fun is it if you are, like, 68 when your son is 18? My oldest daughter is 14, and it is already quite hard for us to connect with her. Would you ever be able to connect with a kid having 50 years difference in age?

I agree with you. But, at the same time, I don't want to get tied to my age. I have this belief, and maybe it is totally unfounded, but I think that you can age yourself. i.e. you can think yourself to a certain age. For example, if a 35 year old guy starts thinking, OMG, I am getting old, his body will respond by actually becoming old.

Jack Lalanne who died at 96 has been a lot in the news lately. And the one thing that struck from his quotes was that he said, " I never ever think about my age. Never." And this is a guy who pulled 70 boats and 6500 pounds shackled to him at age 70.
01-25-2011 07:56 PM
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ManAbout Offline
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RE: Do you feel left out?
(01-25-2011 07:13 PM)Roosh Wrote:  Those happy pictures represent 0.1% of their actual life. The time between them is quite mundane and often depressing.

http://www.consumeraffairs.com/news04/20...essed.html

Perfect study for this thread!
01-25-2011 07:57 PM
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rudebwoy Away
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RE: Do you feel left out?
Sometimes I wish I did not think this way, but being married to the same women does not make any sense to me.

Are your friends truly happily married?

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01-25-2011 08:15 PM
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UrbanNerd Offline
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RE: Do you feel left out?
Even the friends of mine who got married in their early 20's (or right after high school) AND still married for 20+ years AND still look happily married (at least to me).....will STILL tell me....

"Man, I wish I did a few Brazils, Dominican Republics and <fill in country here> like you did before I got married.

Of course we were way out of their wife's earshot range when he said it.
(This post was last modified: 01-25-2011 08:22 PM by UrbanNerd.)
01-25-2011 08:22 PM
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kerouac Offline
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RE: Do you feel left out?
This is why you should take advantage of being single when you have the chance and get the exotic and numerous bangs out of your system. I'm not saying that wanting some fresh meat will ever leave your system, but the desire to rack up numbers is something I think a lot of guys eventually get over. And to the guys who say they can't see themselves settling down with a girl, they haven't been meeting the right ones. I personally have met quite a few girls I have spent a lot of time with, but I never wanted to stay with any of them because I wasn't ready, but that was a while ago and I don't mind finding a stable girl to build something more long term with eventually.
01-25-2011 08:53 PM
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ManAbout Offline
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RE: Do you feel left out?
(01-25-2011 08:15 PM)rudebwoy Wrote:  Sometimes I wish I did not think this way, but being married to the same women does not make any sense to me.

Are your friends truly happily married?

And it is not them being married to the same woman and smiling happily that makes me feel left out. It is that they are procreating, they are creating the next generation that will bear their name and run their businesses. They are building out their family and their gene pool. Isn't that the the ultimate alphaness? What use is being an Alpha if at the end of the day your genes die with you.

I absolutely do not think humans are meant to be in monogamous relationships for 50 years or more. This is an absurd construct of our culture. Yet, I do think we mere made to procreate. And this is where I am feeling left out. The alphas of history gave birth to hundreds of offspring each that eventually became the basis of tribes, cities and cultures. It is thought that Genghis Khan himself had 10,000 children. Don't we owe it to our legacy to start building out our own little dynasties?
01-25-2011 10:35 PM
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Samseau Offline
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Post: #10
RE: Do you feel left out?
dude, you know those "happy marriages" you hear about:

1. It's extremely likely that today's wife will cheat on today's husband (but not vice versa or else he'll lose everything, including his kids).
2. The husband becomes enslaved to a materialistic bitch with zero sex appeal
3. The children aren't raised in a fashion the husband wants, he's just the tool for the wife while she turns her sons into little beta bitches and her daughters into more whorish users America can't seem to get enough of

Honestly, what's the point of having children if you can't even raise them like you would as the man of the household?


I want kids just as much as most guys, but if laws stay the same there's no way I'll get married.
Not a chance in hell.

I'll look for a more original solution, such as, but not limited to:

- Finding a donor wife to give me children, then hiring a nanny to raise the children while they grow up to 18 (way cheaper than a wife)
- Foreign women with foreign laws favorable to men
- Figuring out a way to escape the shitty laws in America and still get married in the eyes of society: for example, you have a wedding but never sign the state marriage contract so you are still legally "single" on your tax forms (and you back it up by having an official residence listed as some shitty apartment somewhere that you rent). Also, your non-state sanctioned wife must also take full custody of the kids at birth or give you full custody (so there's no child support laws to rape you). The problem with this solution is finding an American woman who would agree to such terms. If she does agree, however, you know she must be really in love with you
(This post was last modified: 01-26-2011 12:50 AM by Samseau.)
01-26-2011 12:48 AM
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gringoed Offline
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RE: Do you feel left out?
I think 40's is a good time to start thinking of settling down. By that age, most men are:

1. Still fertile enough to have plenty of children (as long as the wifey is younger)

2. Financially stable enough to properly raise the kids and spend tons of time with them, that is the point of having kids IMO.

3. Mature enough to find the right lady and stay with her (for the kids).

4. Young enough to see them grow up and have their first love, old enough to not see them get divorced!
01-26-2011 01:11 AM
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subutai Offline
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RE: Do you feel left out?
I think it's a given that sex is going to get boring and mundane with the same woman after many years of monogamy, ESPECIALLY if you've been used to variety all your life.

What would make up for it would be the joys of raising children together along with a deep, caring tenderness for one another; a shared sense of humor, and the ability to connect at an intimate and fulfilling level.

But being the realist that I am, I think the options you are presented with on a daily basis combined with the sheer HASSLE of hooking up with other women, is what's going to keep a man monogamous vs seeking something new.

Speaking for myself, I'm single at the moment and in my 30s, but even now, I can barely stand loud night clubs and even thinking about doing late night benders gets me tired. I'd much rather do my MMA/Muay Thai on a daily basis, get 9 hours of sleep, and have chilled out wine/cocktail parties with people I enjoy talking to.
(This post was last modified: 01-26-2011 01:32 AM by subutai.)
01-26-2011 01:31 AM
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Post: #13
RE: Do you feel left out?
I also agree that some of the happy pics you see on FB might make you feel a bit left out, however, speaking of marriage, one thing that strikes me as odd is that how come the only people who talk about marriage and getting married, at least in my family and relatives circle, are the women and never ever have I heard a married man in my family or relatives encouraging me to get married. That makes one really wonder as to whether marriage is really that all mighty ultimate goal of life/feeling happy and fullfilled. I sense a lot of envy from the guys in my surroundings about me travelling the world and having a great time. I have always asked some of these guys to come with me to Brasil or Thailand and even offered to pay for heir airfare and to a couple of them, even told them that I'd basically pay for all their expenses but still somehow, they come up with excuses as that they don't have the time (read the wife wouldn't allow them).

As to having kids, that's something I'll start thinking about in 10 years time when I hit 40. Way too many places I'd like to discover before doing that. As to feeling left out, the only way I'd feel left out is that my free lifestyle makes people around me (at least in my family/relatives) a bit uncomfortable around me and they see me as a kind of oddity and when there's a family gathering, I'd see everyone coupled up, but I never bring a girl to these events as each time I'd be bringing a new one and that wouldn't go too well with some of them who are very traditional. LOL And when I do settle down, it'll be with an Asian woman for sure.
01-26-2011 03:07 AM
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RE: Do you feel left out?
Are you worried about being left out because your friends are getting married OR because you think that they will leave you out i.e. stop hanging out with you because you are single? They eventually will because their wives will tell them to because you will a "bad influence" or they will get too jealous of the life you are living. Most of my friends have decided to get married by 30 and they force me into thinking about it because they don't have the balls to admit that marriage is not the ultimate goal in life. They can't see how I can think about NOT getting married. They are like freaking robots deigned to do X at age Y.

Anyone who gets married in the age of 35 in an idiot in my book because you are just not mature enough to make such a decision.
01-26-2011 05:01 AM
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subutai Offline
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RE: Do you feel left out?
Just thought I would mention this: having a child and a life partner does NOT equal getting married.
01-26-2011 05:44 AM
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BR88 Offline
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RE: Do you feel left out?
Vacancier, you made a great point, and I realized I've had the same situation in my life.

I'm in my mid 30s, and I just realized that none of the older men in my family have ever asked me when I'm going to get married. The closest is my dad, who tells me "Oh well, you'll find another one" whenever I tell him that I just broke up with my girlfriend.

In fact, my uncle recently told me, in regards to women, that "It's always cheaper to rent". This is coming from a guy who has been married for 25 years to a bitchy fat woman.
01-26-2011 11:55 AM
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speakeasy Offline
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RE: Do you feel left out?
(01-25-2011 03:03 PM)ManAbout Wrote:  Left out as a result of following this lifestyle. i.e not "settling down" and get married as per conventional societal norms.

I was looking at the pictures of all my friends that I went to school and university with and they all have pictures with their smiling families, kids, wives etc. etc. And then there are pictures of their childrens life milestones. All of a sudden I just felt left behind. Their kids are growing up and here I am still looking for the next bang or the cute 18 year old. I mean some of my friends that got married when they were like 21 and are beginning to have daughters that I might consider hitting on.

Makes me wonder.

Obviously there's some part of you that wants the family life or none of this would bother you. Why not just give yourself a time constraint? Say like 2 more years to do whatever you're doing now, and then look into settling down. I'm guessing you're in your late 20s to mid 30s, right? That's not really old these days. When you're ready to settle down, just shoot for a chic in her mid 20s.
01-26-2011 01:37 PM
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Kickb Away
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RE: Do you feel left out?
Sounds like you are feeling the exact same feelings as the great kanye west in this song http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qoF1FL3MDL4
(This post was last modified: 01-26-2011 01:55 PM by Kickb.)
01-26-2011 01:55 PM
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stein Offline
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RE: Do you feel left out?
subutai - this might not be an acceptable arrangement for the woman especially if she comes from a conservative culture. a minority of women actually hold out for marriage and won't settle for less. i guess you have no choice but to let go in that case.

anyone have pointers on selling the idea of "i don't believe in needing the state to sanction your love for me" to a conservative woman?
01-26-2011 03:05 PM
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Vesuvius Offline
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RE: Do you feel left out?
I know how you feel.

They've got nice shit, wives, kids, etc, and you're thinking to yourself, WTF? Why don't I have that? WTF is wrong with me?

I'm 33 and I've used that to hold myself back too, that and the fact I've bad habits.

You're going to have to get rid of that sort of thinking. I had to.

Ask yourself, "Why can't I have what I want?" instead of focusing on why you don't. Write down on a sheet of paper what you want, how you're going to get it, and move on it right away!

And like the others have said, you don't know what those other people are putting up with. Their fat psychopathic wives might be beating them within an inch of their lives.
01-26-2011 05:26 PM
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speakeasy Offline
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RE: Do you feel left out?
A long time friend of mine just today wrote me an email saying how tough his life is right now. He's about my age, has his wife and daughter and newborn son, runs his own business and he's really stressed out with the day in day out intricacies of family life. He loves his family and all but he's under a lot of stress to provide, spend time with his kids and tend to his business all at the same time. Of course nobody would ever know this stuff just from browsing a few of his family photos on facebook. You just don't know what's going on behind the scenes.

Even these PUAs, you might think they are living the life, but in that book The Game, it starts off with Mystery being suicidal. You'd think with all that pussy he's getting and traveling around and stuff he'd be happy as a kid at Disneyland, but you never know what kind of demons people have bogging them down that you don't know about. Of the truly happy people I've met, they seem to be humble people with simple needs and not a whole bunch of expectations. Some fisherman in a small village in Costa Rica is probably happier than than the likes of a Mystery or your salary man with the 9-5 job and big mortgage.

I'm learning to avoid glamorizing the life of others. Forge your own path in life that works for you.
(This post was last modified: 01-26-2011 06:41 PM by speakeasy.)
01-26-2011 06:39 PM
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Aliblahba Offline
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RE: Do you feel left out?
(01-26-2011 06:39 PM)speakeasy Wrote:  I'm learning to avoid glamorizing the life of others. Forge your own path in life that works for you.

I learned this a long time ago. Don't measure your success against the success of others. I used to see guys w/ big houses, nice cars, ect., and used to think how the fuck they got that far that quick. Then you find out their slinging dope, milking off family money, or ate the fuck up in debt. Most of them do it to impress others, effectively making a facade. Eventually the house of cards they most meticulously built will inevitably fall.

I have no bills other than cell phone and insurance. It's nice to be free of financial or patriarchal burdens. And yes, some of my friends are happily married with minimal stress. They served their country, traveled, lived the lifestyle, became financially stable, then found a wife worth a fuck. One friends wife banks $100K. I used to feel left out, but my path is what is it. I don't judge others and expect the same.
(This post was last modified: 01-26-2011 08:54 PM by Aliblahba.)
01-26-2011 06:53 PM
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Saladin Offline
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RE: Do you feel left out?
(01-26-2011 06:39 PM)speakeasy Wrote:  A long time friend of mine just today wrote me an email saying how tough his life is right now. He's about my age, has his wife and daughter and newborn son, runs his own business and he's really stressed out with the day in day out intricacies of family life. He loves his family and all but he's under a lot of stress to provide, spend time with his kids and tend to his business all at the same time. Of course nobody would ever know this stuff just from browsing a few of his family photos on facebook. You just don't know what's going on behind the scenes.

Even these PUAs, you might think they are living the life, but in that book The Game, it starts off with Mystery being suicidal. You'd think with all that pussy he's getting and traveling around and stuff he'd be happy as a kid at Disneyland, but you never know what kind of demons people have bogging them down that you don't know about. Of the truly happy people I've met, they seem to be humble people with simple needs and not a whole bunch of expectations. Some fisherman in a small village in Costa Rica is probably happier than than the likes of a Mystery or your salary man with the 9-5 job and big mortgage.

I'm learning to avoid glamorizing the life of others. Forge your own path in life that works for you.

This is very true. I know a lot of rich Indian businessman who always seem unhappy as fuck, while there are guys who live in slums and have fairly crappy jobs who always seem to be in a good mood.
01-26-2011 08:23 PM
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oldnemesis Offline
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RE: Do you feel left out?
(01-26-2011 06:53 PM)Aliblahba Wrote:  I learned this a long time ago. Don't measure your success against the success of others.

It also depends how we define "success", and too often we let our brain to define it as "having something we don't have, but others do". This is the path to disaster. Remember that happiness is internal state, and only you decide if your glass is half-full or half-empty.

Quote:I have no bills other than cell phone and insurance. It's nice to be free of financial or patriarchal burdens. And yes, some of my friends are happily married with minimal stress. They served their country, traveled, lived the lifestyle, became financially stable, then found a wife worth a fuck. One friends wife banks $100K. I used to feel left out, but my path is what is it. I don't judge others and expect the same.

Financial security is essential for your well-being - it doesn't mean you should be making millions, but you should be comfortable to live within your means. Getting into debt to own a latest cool gadget is the stupidest thing I've ever heard. I've never paid interest in my life except for the car a few years ago (solely to establish credit history) and for mortgage (for us it is cheaper to buy than rent considering that the mortgage interest is tax-deductible). And pretty much all of my friends are happily married as well; here in Bay Area most of their wives make around 100K, some make much more than that.
01-27-2011 05:54 PM
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subutai Offline
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RE: Do you feel left out?
(01-26-2011 06:39 PM)speakeasy Wrote:  A long time friend of mine just today wrote me an email saying how tough his life is right now. He's about my age, has his wife and daughter and newborn son, runs his own business and he's really stressed out with the day in day out intricacies of family life. He loves his family and all but he's under a lot of stress to provide, spend time with his kids and tend to his business all at the same time. Of course nobody would ever know this stuff just from browsing a few of his family photos on facebook. You just don't know what's going on behind the scenes.

Even these PUAs, you might think they are living the life, but in that book The Game, it starts off with Mystery being suicidal. You'd think with all that pussy he's getting and traveling around and stuff he'd be happy as a kid at Disneyland, but you never know what kind of demons people have bogging them down that you don't know about. Of the truly happy people I've met, they seem to be humble people with simple needs and not a whole bunch of expectations. Some fisherman in a small village in Costa Rica is probably happier than than the likes of a Mystery or your salary man with the 9-5 job and big mortgage.

I'm learning to avoid glamorizing the life of others. Forge your own path in life that works for you.

Really wonderful post. Thanks for writing that.
01-27-2011 06:19 PM
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